Heart's Desire

Prince charming; blue eyes, dark hair and a structure of a god. Prince charming; a coy smile and a heart of gold.

Every one loves him, every girl wants to be with him and every guy wants to be him.

So what's the problem?

The problem is that I Jessica Lawson fell in love with Carter Grey. But as we call him Mr. Grey our English teacher.

Being in love its just a fairy tale, well that's what I thought. I would never imagine me Jesse falling in love with a teacher.

I remember when I first saw Carter.

He had a blue shirt on with black jeans and converse sneakers. His dark hair crazy messy but at the same time amazingly beautiful.

That was three years ago when I was a freshman. Now I am a junior in college.

"Jesse hello?" My mouth quirk up into a small smile seeing my roommate entering our dorm room.

"You okay, you look gloomy." Mandy Anthony says.

My tongue trailed under my teeth as I search for why I looked love struck. Three seconds went by and with nothing to say I just shrug.

"I am going to take a shower," Mandy announced climbing out off her red velvet flats. "I got spit on."

I giggle shaking my head knowing what and who she is referring to. "Mr. Renter is going to spit on you Mandy, you are sitting in front of his class."

Her lips turned into a grim line as she grabs her towel and bathroom kit. "See you in fifty."

I gave a salute as she exit the dorm once again.

My alarm screamed telling me its time for English 101.

With one foot after another I grab my blue denim sling bag throwing it over my shoulder.

* ~*

English is the only subject I both love and hate. Nervous around him, can't talk, palms are sweaty and my heart begins to beat so fast I could hear it and not just feel it.

Just the way he smiles leaves me breathless. He is in fact my distraction in class, maybe that's the reason why I am failing.

I stood in front of the baby blue door with the words engrave 'Professor C. Grey English 101' on it.

Every Thursday and Friday I stood in front of this door not knowing if I should go in or not. But like every Thursday and Friday I took one step after another and went in.

Searching for a seat I noticed the white board with the words 'Love Or lust' on it.

Just the way I am feeling, I am not sure if my attraction towards my professor is towards love or just plain lust.

I took a seat in the second row and as a routine I place my note pad on the desk and my red sharpie.

Fifty five in one class and just one professor, I am not even sure he knows all our names led alone mine.

"Good afternoon class." There he was, a magic creature out of nowhere, a glimmer of light around him. He is indeed one handsome man.

Today from all days Carter is wearing his black V neck shirt, blue skinny jeans and his converse sneakers. Like I said indeed handsome.

"Spring break is coming up and I know, I know you don't have studying in mind." His voice is smooth yet so demanding all in one. Can one man make me feel so.. so urging?

"Today we will be talking about," Carter twirled around showing his long finger to the board. "Love and lust. Can anyone tell me what's the difference between one another?"

The class looked to each other waiting till someone raise their hand, but to my surprise no one did.

"How about you."

Me?

"What's your name?" Is he talking to me? I did not even know he knew I existed.

"Jessica Lawson." I respond with a weak smile and sweaty palms.

"Well Miss. Lawson, what is your outtake towards love and lust?"

I don't know. You. Both. Together.

"I am not sure about love but, I think lust is when you crave for something. People say they are in love with one another but you never know if it is just lust, there's a huge and I mean huge difference between love and lust, but I think if you can put that two together its just pure happiness."

The answer I have given did not satisfy me at the least. I don't know what love is and I don't know what lust is, all I know is I want that two with someone and not just with any guy, but the guy standing right in front of me.

"Good answer Miss. Lawson but," he gave me a gorgeous grin and tap three times on his nose. "Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Miss. Lawson did you ever have a crush on someone?"

Yes. You.

I nod. "How does it make you feel when you see him?"

Maybe I can tell Carter how I feel about him without he knowing I am actually referring to him?

Not even I had made sense there. "Well Miss. Lawson?

I stiffened in my chair brushing my black as night hair out of my facade.
"It makes me feel all warm in side, not the weird warm. When I see him I could just run away and hide under a rock but at the same time I want to run too him, he makes me feel like I am walking on clouds, weak in the knees, tattoo on your chest thing."

Carter gave me a slight pout and nod. "Love." He whispers giving me a wink.

My subconscious ran away with my lungs while my stomach was doing cheerleading moves that made me nauseous.