My Secret

It was 1 pm when I finished my work and could go finally to home

after I parked my car I took the elevator to my floor and opened the door of my flat

as soon as I opened it I was welcomed by my dog "pulgas" a beautiful german shepherd

I still have one hour before my son arrives from school so I decided to go for a walk with pulgas.

After 15 min we were back and I started to make food for my family

later on my sister and my parents arrived with the children

-"Hello? Vic?, we're already here"-said my sister Marta

-"in the kitchen guys"

I said hi to everybody and hugged then when my little man came and leaped on me while I opened my arms making space for him and hugging him

-"Hi sweetie, how was school?-I said smiling at me

-" it was good mum but boring like always, but you know what??? next week we have 3 days off because of the bank holidays, it's so cool, can we go to Seville to visit aunt Ana please mum I wanna see her , she always give me candies and we can swim in her pool, grandpas and aunt Marta are going too pretty please "-he said with puppy eyes

I smiled at his excitement

-"I know babe, and yes, we will see ok? but now go and wash your hands the food is ready"

we were eating and talking about stuff nothing special

-" Cristian, are you going to go to the park to play football with your friend Tomas later?"-I asked

-"no, mum, he can't, he's with his father this week"- he said sad

-"ohmm, don't be sad, I'll play with you if you want, ok?"-I said trying to comfort him

-"it's not that mum, it's just that everybody have a father but me!! I don't understand why I can't meet him,why he never calls me.."

my parents and sister looked at each other

-"honey, please go to your room, we need to talk"- said my mum.. huh?

as soon as he left my mum gazed to me

-"what?-I said already knowing what that looks meant

."it's the time to tell him"

-"what? noooo, no way , no fucking way!!"-I was on the defensive

-"Vic, listen, you can't be like this forever, you can't lie to him anymore, how long are you gonna be like this, huh? don't you see it is hurting him"

-"mum..I can't"

-"yes, you can, listen I know why you did it, but you can't keep this any longer, it's not good for you and it's not good for him, think about him ,you know he wants to meet his dad"

-"what?? are you calling me a bad mother? are you saying I don't think about my son?, because I do!!! I fucking do , you know he always come first not matter what, you know I always put him firstly"

-"I'm not saying that,I know you love him with all your heart but you need to tell him"..

-"no no and no and please mum don't meddle in this, it's my life and it's my son so I will decide when and if I want to tell him"-I said getting angry at my mum

-"well, I'm sorry but it's not only about you,it hurts my heart everytime he asks me about his dad or I see him sad because he doesn't have one or when I have to lie to him Vic!! so I'm sorry but if you don't tell him I will"

-"mum, don't you dare!!-I said yelling

-"Vic, I'm ill, I don't know how long I'm going to live, please do it for me , like my last will please.."

-"please, mum is right, it's about time he knows the true"-said Pa and Marta

-"how I am going to tell him everything , I don't even know how to start off, what do I say huh? I was knocked out and high as fuck while I attended an Eminem's concert that night or that we fucked for 2 months and got knocked up and he didn't want him? do you want me to tell him that?"- I asked very frustrated, it was hurting me having to remember everything again, I really loved him

-"Vic, don't get sassy with me, ok? you know what I mean .. and how do you know he didn't want him? you didn't even want to tell him, as soon as you knew you were pregnant you ran away, you told me how he tried to call you several times but you didn't even give him a change! for the god's sake your son even likes his music!, he asked you to buy his album"

-" I ran away because I was tiring of him using me to forget Kim, he didn't love me back,and he told me he didn't want more children!! plus do you think I can go now and tell him? ..it has been 10 years!! plus I don't even know how get in contact with him,

-"listen, Cristian has not school next week, you can use that and go to Detroit, meet him and tell him everything, at least try!! he deserves to know he has a son too, plus imagine how happy Cristian will be when he knows his idol is his father and you can call Nancy you still talk to her via facebook right? or Paul I remember you were the one who introduced Nancy(Nancy is his wife) to him, plus you had a really good relationship"

-"I don't know mum.. I don't really know..."-I said thinking about it

-"I will help you and write the message for you"-said Marta

-"ok, I guess.."-I accepted,not having option

we logged into my facebook and searched for Nancy, I wrote her telling her everything and the real reasons oh boy I was really nervous...

"-Marta, I can't do it , seriously, I can't, they're gonna shit on me , they won't believe me , they would say why I haven't say anything before" -I said shaking

"-well.. they are right, you should have said it a long time before but we're gonna send it"

"-no Marta, no wait"- I said but it was too late she already sent it

-"done!!"-she said with a proud smile

-"I'm gonna kill you"

-""I am only helping you, so your welcome"-she said with a full smile on her face

I was going to reply her or rather kill her when she said Nancy was online

-"look, she is online and is replying you"

-"what does she say?- I asked my sister , I couldn't read it myself ,I was so nervous

"-she says she now understands everything and that you have to go there and tell him all the true.. oh look she's asking when you're coming she says she can pick you up from the airport and can stay with them"

-"what? really?"

-"yup"

-"but I need to talk to my boss for these days off"-I said

-"ok, go and call her now!"

-"fine"- I said knowing it was pointless to argue with her

5 min later I went to the room where my sister was at

-"what did she say?-she asked

-"she said it was ok, that I could take those days off"-I said not very happy

-"gooood!you see? you have to go sissy you can't put this off any longer

-"if you say so..."

-"ok! I already told her you're going, she said you need to tell her the date and time so she can go and pick you up, so let's buy the tickets"

-"yipess"-I said in a sarcastic tone

-"she says you need to give her your number "

-"ok... "-I said while I wrote the number for her

after 20 minutes we finally got the tickets 2350 euros! holy shit!, we printed them and left the room not before we sent Nancy the details

-"mumm we have the tickets "-said Marta

-"ok ,I'm very proud of you Vic, you're doing the right thing, think about Cristian he's gonna be so happy "-she said before kissing on my cheek

-"I hope so , I hope so..."-I said to myself

well now I need to tell Cristian

-"Cristian, can you come please?, I need to talk to you.."- I said not knowing very well how to say it

he didn't reply

-"cristian?-I asked again

not reply so I went to his room and knocked his door while I got inside

-"babe I was calling you, what are you doing?"

-"sorry mum, I was listening to music so I didn't hear you "

-"it's ok, what are you listening to?

-"Eminem , I love his new album, he's dope, I don't know how you can't like him or hip hop music, it's the best!"-

if only he knew......

-" ok , I was calling you because we're going to Detroit next sunday, for holidays"-I lied, I know, but I didn't want to tell him all the true just yet

-"what???' really??? that's so cool! I wanted to go to Detroit, it's where Eminem lives! can you imagine mum, maybe I even get the change and meet him!"- he said very excited, jumping on the bed

I didn't say anything I just couldn't

-"thanks mum you're the best!!!!- he said hugging me

-"your welcome "-I said with a fake smile while I left the room

after one hour talking about the same my parents and sister left and it was just Cristian and me, I was watching tv but I saw it was dinner's time so I went to the kitchen to prepare the supper

while the supper was on process I put pulgas his dinner too, after 10 min the supper was ready

-"Cristian, the dinner is ready"-I said

-"I'm coming"- I heard him says

we ate while we watched tv

-"I'm done mum, can I watch a movie in my room before I go to bed please?"

-"ok, but I want you on bed at 11"

-"thanks mummy"-he said and kissed my cheek before left, he was so happy..

I washed the dishes, clean the table.. after I finished I went to the living room

I was watching a movie when my phone rang, I thought it was my other sister Ana I thought she already knew about my new plans for next week so I didn't bother looking at the screen

-"Hola, que tal hermana? ya te has enterado de la nueva ?( hi!, how are you sis? do you already know about what happened today?

-"hello? Victoria?"- said a male voice, I couldn't believe it

- "Marshall ?-I asked skeptic

-"yes, it's mine..."

-"why are calling me?, how did you get my number?-I asked rudely

-" it doesn't matter -"Nancy I thought" and how can you ask me why are you calling me , are you that stupid ?you know the reason, Paul told me you sent to Nancy a message saying you need to talk to me...

-"I didn't mean.....".I whispered

-"you didn't mean what? you didn't mean to get pregnant with my child and not tell me anything during all these years? is that what you didn't mean?".. he said with sarcasm

-"Iii ddoon't.."-I said babbling

-"didn't you think I HAD the right to know about it?"-He said angry

-" what do you mean? you didn't want any relationship with me,you were only using me" I said as our convo got heated

-"you, fucking bitch, how can you say that? you were the one who ran away, I tried to call you several times but you IGNORED ME! so don't you fucking dare to say this is my fault! and now I found I have a son, who is what, 10? FUCKING 10 years old! and I didn't have a fucking clue about it till today , do you know how I fucking feel right now? plus, I missed his childhood !! and you have deprived me of seeing my son all this time-He said yelling

I couldn't hold my tears back anymore so I started crying

-"Marshall, please, this is not the moment for this , we will talk about it face to face please, I can't.. right now"- I said trying to explaining

-"of course we will... you better come next week because if you don't, I'll go to Spain"-and with that the line went dead

oh god! I didn't need this... why did I have to pay attention to my family?

ok you can do this, do it for Cristian

----------------------------------------------

before I knew it was the day before the flight, Cristian was all excited and couldn't stop talking about the trip and about how cool it would be if he had the change of meeting Eminem I couldn't take it anymore and ran to the bathroom to cry.

it was the night before and I was packing everything.After I had everything ready I turned all the lights off and went to bed

next morning....

-"muuummmm wake up!!! we have a flight to catch"-said jumping on my bed

-"good morning babe, do you want to have your breakfast?

-"noo come on , let's go now, I don't want to be late"

I couldn't help but smiled at him

after 30 minutes of mummmmm come on hurry up!!! we finally left the house with all the suitcases

we got in the taxi

after 20 minutes we arrived at the airport

one hour and 15 min later we were inside the plane ready to go

21 hours later we already were in Detroit

oh god here we go.......