Memories

With the Order of the Phoenix starting back up and Sirius’ house being used as the headquarters it only made sense for the place to be cleaned. Or at least that’s what Sirius and Remus had told the trio, Fred, George, and Ginny, before sending them off upstairs to clean. They were all pretty sure the only reason they had to clean anything was because Mrs. Weasley didn’t want them sitting in on meetings and hearing more than she thought they should know. And while none of them were really okay with being kept out of the loop, especially since it concerned Voldemort, and Harry most likely, they all decided it wouldn’t hurt to spend a day cleaning. Plus if they all worked really hard, and together, they could probably finish cleaning quicker and then find a way to listen into the meeting. And if not this one then the next one.

Harry was actually kind of excited to go through the rooms and clean them out though. After all, there was no telling what he’d find, and well Sirius had grown up in the place so surely he had stuff there and Sirius’ stuff could’ve meant things about his parents. Honestly, in the end Harry felt like cleaning out and seeing what they could find might actually be worth missing whatever the adults were talking about. So while he wanted to be included he didn’t mind having something to take his mind off all the shitty things that had been happening lately, even it just for a while.

“I think I found something you’re all gonna wanna see!” Ron called from across the first room. While everyone made their way to Ron he picked the dusty box up and dropped it on the bed.

“Well, what is it?” Fred and George asked once they’d all crowded around the bed.

Ron wiped some of the dirt off the lid then looked around to everyone. “It’s a box labeled pictures,” he said taking off the lid. “And I’d say there’s at least two hundred if not more in here,” he adding picking a couple up and looking at them then handed them to Harry. After all, they were his Godfather’s pictures.

Harry looked at the pictures, and well the only person he recognized was Sirius, but he had no idea who the girl he was with was. “I wonder who Marlene is?” Harry asked, “because whoever she is she’s in all of these,” he said setting them down and picking up a few more. And apparently Marlene, whoever she was, knew his parents too. There were a few pictures of Marlene with who Harry recognized as his mum and quite a few with his dad. There were even some of just her, some of her with a group of boys who she looked similar too. Harry assumed those were her siblings, she was even with Remus, and Peter. Honestly, Harry wished he knew who she was because she from how much she was in this box he could tell she was important to Sirius, and his parents.

“Maybe you should ask about her,” Harry heard Hermione say as he saw her picking up a few of the pictures. “I mean clearly she was important to a lot of people you care about. It couldn’t hurt you know,”

Harry looked at the pictures in his hands again before nodding his head. “Yea, maybe.” He said pretty sure he wanted to know about her because well knowing about her would also mean he’d know more about Sirius, his parents, and Remus. “I’ll ask him about her,” he finally said.

“Ask me about who?”

Everyone turned around to see Sirius leaning against the doorway.

Harry bit his lip not sure how to ask really, but he knew he had to. “Uh well see we found this box of um pictures and there’s this girl in a lot of them and we don’t really know anything about her. But by the looks of the pictures, and the amount of them she’s in we’re assuming she was important to uh my parents,” Harry said rubbing his neck. “So uh could you tell us about Marlene?” He asked curious to how Sirius would react. Though hopefully it wouldn’t be badly.

It was quiet for a minute or so while they waited for Sirius to answer. Before he said anything though he walked into the room and over to the bed where he took a seat and picked up some of the pictures. Seeing his face while he looked through some of the pictures they’d already seen was heartbreaking almost. It was like he was happy to see the pictures, but sad because of what was in them. Which made sense sadly.

Finally, Sirius set the pictures down and stood up. “You guys take a seat,” he said while he gathered up the pictures from the bed and dropped them back into the box before he moved it off the bed. “Now what exactly did you want to know about Marlene?” He asked feeling weird saying her name, it’d been a long time since he’d talked about her. So long, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to tell them about her without breaking down but he’d give it a try.

“Well, I guess whatever you can tell us. Like how did she know my parents? How did you meet her? Did I ever meet her? What was she like?” Harry asked before finally stopping himself afraid he’d ask so many questions they wouldn’t even have time to get the answers.

Sirius laughed a little at how eager Harry was. “Okay,” Sirius said taking a breath. “Marlene was a wonderful person. I have no doubts that you all would’ve loved her. She was brilliant really. You wouldn’t want to go up against her in a duel because she was really good, best dueler in our class actually. She was also very passionate about life, her friends, and her family. Which she had a pretty big family actually. Let’s see there was, of course, her parents Eleanor and Robert, then in order if I can remember it was Matthew, Malcolm, Thomas, Olivia, then Marlene. She was the baby and trust me none of them ever let her forget it. She usually held her own when it came to them, though. Oh and, of course, James.” Sirius said smiling to himself.

“He wasn’t related to her blood wise or anything, but well they grew up together and until age eleven I’m pretty sure they did everything together so they always just kind of had that best friend bond where they considered themselves family. I think out of all of us he took her death the hardest. I mean I was devastated, cried for weeks on end, couldn’t eat, I drank a lot, but I mean I loved her. James though he’d known her so much longer than I did. He had a different bond with her than I did. And I mean I remember first and second year before she and I actually got closer sometimes she’d sneak into our dorm because she’d had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep and James would comfort her until she fell asleep. I’m not really sure what the nightmares were about, I asked a couple times, but James wouldn’t tell me and I didn’t want to upset her by asking so I just finally let it be.” Sirius continued, it wasn’t as hard to talk about this as he thought it’d be really. Of course, he was sure later when everyone was gone and he more than likely went through all the pictures alone he’d lose it. He was holding it together for now, though.

“Then there was her and Lily. I swear those two were pretty much inseparable. They shared a dorm and told each other everything. Marlene’s family even took Lily with them to Italy one summer. Lily was always kind of the level headed one of the two. Which given Lily could have a temper was saying something. I think it was more it took a lot to really get Lily worked up and she tried not to let anything get to her. Marlene, however, couldn’t let things go. Ever. I mean she got herself suspended from the quidditch team by McGonagall once in fourth year. She landed herself in the hospital wing once fifth year. Sometimes she could be wild. Usually when she got into real trouble it was in her attempts at putting a Slytherin in his place for whatever reason. Which was always funny to us. Lily always hated it when Marlene decided to get wild, mostly because more often than not it meant Marlene wasn’t going to study. She was going to drink or convince James to give her his invisibility cloak and then convince someone to sneak out with her. Which was awful seventh year when Lily and James were head boy and girl.” He said shaking his head and laughing thinking back to that. Honestly, they’d all been so happy then.

He bit his lip when it came to the next part. He could remember everything about Marlene clearly, including how he met her. But they didn’t exactly always have this great relationship. Honestly, it was a little rocky at times, or most of the time.

“Technically the first time I met Marlene I was ten. But it was a very brief meeting, she’d had a bad run in with Bellatrix and Narcissa and tripped on her way down the steps and I kind of broke her fall. Then we met again and officially were introduced when we sat together on the train ride to Hogwarts. We didn’t really talk a lot at first. I mean we were both sorted into Gryffindor, but she was with Lily or James a lot. I always thought she was avoiding me but who knows really. We actually started getting close in our third year when James, Peter, Remus and I accidentally dumped this sludge that made her hair change colors for a week on her. In our defense though we’d thought she was someone else she didn’t see it that way though. After she got over the whole sludge hair thing, which James convinced her to forgive us for, we invited her to Hogsmeade with us and we just kind of hit it off. I mean we talked and became friends which eventually led to a lot more than friends and that’s about it really.” Sirius said wishing he could go back to that time in his life. He was sure that he didn’t want to go into a lot of detail about his relationship with her. It’d be way too hard for one, and well he didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable plus as long as they knew she was the love of his life they knew all they needed to about their relationship.

“As far as knowing her I wish you could’ve known her, after all she was a great person. And she loved you a lot Harry. We were both actually at the hospital when you were born waiting mostly because well I love you and I loved your parents, but I didn’t want to see that. But we were both there when you were born, she was the first person to hold you after your parents. And I remember you took quite a liking to her. We watched you a couple times before you guys went into hiding so your parents could get sleep and have a little bit of time for themselves. And I was awful at changing diapers, and you never took your bottle for me, hell I was convinced that you hated me really. You didn’t hate her though.” He said wanting to say more but honestly anymore and he’d be a mess. Because everything after that was well the sad memories that he didn’t want to think about.
The last thing Sirius wanted was so to let all his happy memories be stolen by the thought of death.

“I think that’s enough for now,” he finally said standing up and smiling. “I’ll let you all get back to cleaning or whatever,” he told them pretty sure they might just go looking through the pictures some more which was fine. He was done talking about everything for the day though.

He’d turned to head out the door and go find Remus when he heard Harry. “Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry that you lost her.”

Sirius couldn’t even turn to look at Harry right now, it was just so hard. “She would’ve wanted you know about her,” he said over his shoulder before walking out the door and down the steps into the common room where Remus was waiting with hot cocoa and marshmallows.

“It was really great what you did up there,” Remus said handing Sirius the cup of cocoa which smelled slightly of peppermint and brought a smile to his face.

Sirius took a sip and felt the pain of knowing he only drank this because of Marlene, and it made him miss her, but it made him happy too. “Yea well it’s what she would’ve wanted,” he said taking a seat.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. I read that on a tombstone when I was in Ireland a couple month ago doing something for Dumbledore, and it really applies here." Remus told Sirius before standing up. “I know that you miss her. I miss all her too, I miss all of them. And I know that no matter what I say you’re going to go through that box of pictures later. So just don’t let them get you to down okay. Because she may be gone Sirius but you still have her memory and that’s not going anywhere. And if you really need me you know how to reach me.” Remus told his friend before sending him a sad smile and making his way out.

Sirius nodded his head and watched Remus leave before he pulled a blanket over himself and curled up in the chair and just sat in the silence just listening to everything going on in the house around him.