Hell Above

It’s currently pouring down rain outside, leaving Alex a pissed off, soaking mess from having to walk the entire way back to Jack’s apartment, after all of the cabs ignored his attempts to hail them down. The elevator ride up is excruciating as well, pushing Alex’s mood down even further due to the ridiculously low temperature throughout the entire building and the stupidly placed air vents on the floor of the elevator, blasting cold air up at him and freezing him further into his wet clothes.

He’s met with an empty living room when he enters Jack’s apartment, breathing out a sigh of relief as he closes the door behind him. It’s been a few days since he first returned to work, and in that time he and Jack haven’t really spoken. Alex has been keeping his distance, trying to push down the thoughts and urges he’s been having around Jack, so the sight of a vacant apartment eases his mood a bit.

His clothes are clinging to him, flinging little water droplets all over the hardwood as he walks through the living room, but he really can’t be bothered to care at the moment. He pushes open the bedroom door, already knowing he’ll find Jack on the other side by the sound of the T.V. playing quietly from inside. Jack looks up when he enters, flashing him this really adorable, small smile from his position in the center of the bed. He curls the sheets around him further, gaze returning to Avatar the Last Airbender on the flat screen as Alex steps into the room.

The blonde bites his lip, ignoring the urge to go curl up beside Jack and walking over to the dresser instead. He feels dirty and just wants to dry off and put on clean clothes. It sort of kills him, how Jack’s wrapped up under his duvet, eyes slipping closed as he watches Alex’s favorite show – without Alex.

Jack is actually watching him – not that Alex would know, he’s too busy searching for his favorite shirt buried in the dresser drawer, back turned to the younger completely. Jack’s worried about Alex. He had expected the elder to distance himself after how close they had gotten for those few days, but that doesn't make it hurt any less that Alex is practically avoiding him now.

Alex looks tiny, the way his shirt is sticking to him only serving to amplify how skinny he really is, and Jack would get out from under the covers and go hug him if he thought Alex would hug back. Jack’s eyes follow the blonde as he slinks off to the bathroom, clean clothes in hand. He returns his gaze to Avatar a moment later as the bathroom door clicks shut.

-

Alex takes his time showering, wanting to avoid going back out to Jack for as long as possible. For the past few days he’s been trying his damnedest to stay out of the apartment, meeting with as many clients as he can and spending off hours in coffee shops in order to avoid being around Jack. He knows Jack has noticed, and he feels horrible about it, but he’s too scared and set in his mind to go back on it now. He has to keep this distance up, it’s the only way he can guarantee that he won’t screw things up between him and Jack.

When he finally gets out, nearly a half hour later, he finds an empty bedroom, the T.V. turned off. He pulls a pair of boxers up his legs, rolling the hem over so that they settle on his hips better before reaching for the shirt he’d picked out. It’s one of Jack’s, of course, and it fits Alex just a little too loosely. It’s his favorite shirt to sleep in, and it doesn't hurt that Jack gives Alex this really cute grin every time he sees him in it.

Alex finds food waiting for him when he enters the kitchen a few minutes later, after bypassing Jack whose now laid out on the couch in the living room. He eats alone, sat atop the counter and swinging his legs to try and clear his mind.

Alex sets his plate in the sink when he finishes, heading back out into the living room to thank Jack for cooking for him. He finds the younger sound asleep, legs pulled up in an almost fetal position on the couch, dark hair splayed out around his head on the pillow. There’s a strip of pale skin exposed where his t-shirt has ridden up, sharp hip bones visible. The sight makes Alex’s chest hurt as he pulls the blanket off the armchair next to the couch, stepping over and laying it over Jack’s sleeping body. It’s never really occurred to Alex how self-centered he may be acting. He’s always so stuck in his head, too stubborn and scared to really realize that Jack might not be as okay as he acts either.

It takes a while for Alex to bring himself to head to bed. After turning off all the lights in the apartment and locking the door, he settles in the armchair next to the couch, sort of but not really watching the show that Jack had been watching before he fell asleep. He’s scared to go to bed, and really doesn't want to go to sleep without Jack, but he also doesn't want to wake the younger up just so that he doesn't have to be alone. He eventually gets up, turns off the living room T.V. and navigates through the dark apartment to Jack’s bedroom. He pulls the sheets over him, settling down on his side of the bed, trying to ignore how empty it seems without Jack beside him.

-

Alex wakes up startled, can feel his heart beating too fast in his chest. He’s sweaty, hair sticking to his forehead and clothes tacky against his skin as he sits up in bed. The room is pitch black, the usual glow from the city lights blocked out by the rain still pouring down outside and he has to concentrate to get his eyes to focus. It takes him a few minutes to calm down, settle his erratic breathing and get the images out of his head.

He knows logically that Jack isn't asleep beside him, but reaches out in search of him anyways. He comes up empty, the sheets cold under his fingers, so he slips out of bed, cold air hitting him immediately as the covers fall off his body. He makes his way out of the bedroom, through the dark apartment and towards the couch where Jack is still.

Alex isn't really thinking, just wants to be near Jack, feel safe, so when he not so carefully lies down nearly on top of the younger, it isn't really a surprise that Jack wakes up from the sudden weight on top him.

“Ahg, – Lex?” Jack is still half asleep, so the question comes out as more of a confused mumble.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Is all Alex says, pressing further against Jack’s body, pulling the blanket back over top them both. Jack wraps an arm around him, shifting so that his back is flat against the couch and pulling Alex up so that the elder’s head his resting against the crook between Jack’s neck and shoulder.

He turns his head on the pillow, pressing his nose into Alex’s hair, voice quiet as he asks, “Everything okay?”

Alex nods, resting his arm against Jack’s chest as he brings his hand up to twirl his fingers through the short hairs at the base of Jack’s neck. “Bad dream, just wanted to be near you.”

Jack smiles against Alex’s hair, pulling him closer as he reassures his boy, “You’re okay, I’m right here.”