Hell Above

Alex immediately bristles at the blunt demand, but remains facing forward in the passenger seat as he responds. “I already told you.”

“I’m not talking about in the hospital.” Jack maintains.

Alex can feel the younger’s eyes cutting into him. He maintains his ground still, turning towards the window in attempt to alleviate some of the increasing tension in the small space between them. “There’s nothing to tell.”

“I found you passed out on the bathroom floor with two broken ribs and you’re going to tell me nothing happened?” Jack argues, volume increasing the more pissed he becomes.

“It was just an accident. I – I’m fine.” Alex defends, twisting around to meet Jack’s eyes. He’d thought he’d avoided this, but now he realizes that all he’s done is backed himself into a corner. The air around him is too thick suddenly, stopping his breath in his throat and burning his lungs.

Jack is quick to fight back, words pushing the elder that last bit further until he’s breaking down completely. “You tried to kill yourself last night, Alex. Do not think you can talk yourself out of this.” He snaps, causing the blonde to wince.

Alex chokes on a whimper then, honey eyes stinging as they fill with tears. “No, I – You don’t understand. I didn't mean for it to happen.” He forces out, the words becoming harder for Jack to follow as a sob interrupts his speech.

The extreme, sudden change in the elder’s mood forces Jack to stop in his indignant haste momentarily, almost reconsidering how to approach the situation. He knows that continuing to drive Alex over the edge is the only sure-fire way to get the answers he needs, though. And so he justifies his anger in that way, retaliating despite the visible affect his words have on the blonde.

“How am I supposed to understand if you won’t fucking tell me what happened?” Jack throws out into the air between them, watching with increasing guilt as Alex slips further into hysterics. The blonde’s crying has manifested into what Jack realizes is quickly becoming a full-blown panic attack, and it’s at that point that he regrets the approach he’d taken.

“I tried to stop them, but I couldn't.” Alex confesses, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth with his sleeve, a method that Jack had noticed he uses to control his breathing when it becomes too erratic. “I’m s – sorry, I’m so sorry.” He whimpers, words muffled by the clothing and interrupted by the hitching of his voice, but Jack hears him nonetheless.

“Alex.” Jack says, twisting to undo his seat belt before scooting as close to the blonde as he can while still remaining in the driver’s seat.

The blonde doesn't meet his eyes. Alex stoops forward in the seat, gripping his broken ribs with the hand that’s not covering his mouth. Clenching his eyes shut, he sucks in a breath in a pathetic attempt to calm himself down. It’s hopeless, and only serves to increase the nasty hitching of his sobs even more. “They forced me down,” He continues, “I should have tried harder to stop them, but I just let it happen.”

It takes a moment for Jack to really grasp what the elder has said before he realizes exactly what Alex is admitting. And then the full extent of the situation is crashing down on him all at once. He suddenly understands the scene he’d come home to the night before, the elder’s reluctance and behavior all day, and the mess he’s facing now.

It’s exactly what he had assumed, but had been unwilling to consider. Because this is so much worse than all of the times Alex had come home bruised and bloody by clients. Because this is what Jack had been scared of for years, and now he’s facing it head on. Because the last thing he wanted to find out is that his best friend, the man he’s in love with, was raped.

Alex’s sobs have dissolved into hiccups at this point, and the only thing Jack can think to do is reach over and take the elder’s hand away from his side and into his own. Alex doesn't resist, but opens his eyes at the action. Several tears spill over onto his cheeks as Jack watches, trailing down before soaking into his shirt sleeve over his mouth.

They sit in silence for close to an hour after that, with Jack’s thumb running over the blonde’s knuckles on the center console between them. At some point during that time, Alex stops crying and uncovers his mouth, returning his hand to his lap.

The inside of the car is dark now, despite the lights that had come on in the garage automatically once the sun began to set. It’s late now, nearing eight and neither of them have eaten anything all day. Jack knows they need to head home soon, but he can’t bring himself to let go of the blonde’s hand.

Eventually Alex offers a slight squeeze of his hand in return before slipping it out of the younger’s grasp altogether. The blonde turns away from him, curling into himself as he leans against the door, and Jack takes that as his okay to pull out of the parking space.

The drive home is silent, and coincidentally they get stuck in traffic a few blocks from the apartment. Jack looks over at a stop light to find Alex sound asleep and the sight makes his chest ache. By the time he pulls into his own parking space, it’s past nine.

He walks around to the passenger side, opening the car door as carefully as he can to avoid waking Alex. His initial plan is to carry the elder upstairs, but Alex stirs, lifting his head to meet Jack’s eyes when the younger bends down to lift him into his arms. Jack pauses then, unsure what to do.

“I can walk.” Alex says, but he doesn't sound upset, just tired. Jack nods, straightening up and stepping out of the way so that Alex can get out of the car.

-

“If I fix you something, will you eat?” Jack asks once they make it up to the apartment.

Alex turns to face him, tugging his sleeves down over his palms as he offers, “Maybe.”

Jack accepts that, appreciating the honesty if nothing else. He heads into the kitchen, deciding that cereal is probably a pretty safe bet for now.

He enters the bedroom a few minutes later to see Alex propped up against the headboard, on his side of the bed, watching the news. The younger hands over one of the bowls of Cocoa Puffs he’d brought, and then makes his way around to the opposite side of the bed, settling back against the headboard to eat his own cereal.

He sets his bowl on the nightstand beside him once it’s empty, glancing over to make sure the blonde is actually eating. Jack shifts down so that he’s lying, not even bothering to get under the covers or change out of his jeans. He’s exhausted, but he’s also apprehensive about leaving Alex alone.

The elder seems to understand this, because he looks over to meet Jack’s eyes and says, “I’ll be alright.” And when Jack starts to respond, Alex insists, “You need to sleep.”

“Okay.” He agrees, closing his eyes after a moment. There are so many answers he wants, but he knows that at least Alex is safe beside him.