Hell Above

The white noise of the shower stirs Alex from the restless sleep he’d slipped into after rounds of night terrors earlier in the morning.

He rolls over onto his side, ignoring the protest his healing ribs put up at the position as he blinks the room into focus. There’s a solid square of harsh light splaying out from under the bathroom door onto the hardwood, and an empty space in bed beside him that lets the blond know the younger is the culprit of his rouse.

Jack steps into the room after a few minutes, opening the bathroom door to flood the dark bedroom in unnecessary stark light. Alex reacts in the appropriate fashion, ducking his head down into his pillow and pulling the duvet further over his head with a groan.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you were awake.” Jack offers, exhaustion leaking through the apology as he makes his way over to the closet. The elder had kept him up throughout the night, and he’d only been able to catch sporadic minutes of sleep in between each of Alex’s nightmares. The slim rest, coupled with the fact that he’s up at quarter past six in the morning now to meet with his father for breakfast, has him dragging his feet as he gets dressed.

He hears Alex mumble something in response against the mattress, but he can’t make out the words. The younger figures at best it was a short, sarcastic comment, so he decides to ignore it.

“Lex, I’m gonna go. I’ll text you when I know what time I’ll be back, okay?” He says, making his way over to the bed. He pauses in front of the nightstand by Alex’s head to collect his phone.

At the younger’s words, said man lifts himself up onto his elbows, raising his head to meet Jack’s eyes as he questions, “Where are you going?” He sounds miserable, exhausted and upset at the same time.

“My dad wants to see me.” Jack states simply, pocketing his cell before stepping back over to turn off the bathroom light. The room is plunged back into a murky black and then Jack is turning for the door. “Try and get some more sleep, okay?”

-

Alex wakes up again before eight and leaves the bedroom to find Vinny sat on the couch. The blond heads straight for the kitchen though, ignoring Vinny’s immediate “good morning” upon seeing him.

He makes his way over to the coffee maker, moving through the steps to brew a cup before flicking the machine’s on switch. The Italian steps into the room after a couple of minutes, settling back against the counter, but leaving a good amount of space between them.

Alex knows he’s there, but doesn’t bother to turn around. He’s annoyed – at what, he’s not sure.

“Alex.” Vinny says, tone somewhat cautious. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other since before the incident, and the Italian hasn’t the slightest clue what’s running through the blond’s head right now.

“Yeah?” Alex responds, back still turned away from the other man. He eyes the coffee maker in front of him, daring it to brew any slower than it already is.

The Italian is quiet for a moment before speaking back up, “How are you? Do you need me to get you –”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Alex spits out, cutting the Italian off as his hands grip at the counter’s edge in front of him.

“I didn’t intend to be one.” Vinny responds, tone flat. He hadn’t come over to argue, and after so many years, he knows the blond well enough to see through him.

Alex hears the Italian shift behind him, and he turns around to meet the man’s eyes. A few feet of space remain between them still. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Jack wants someone to watch me, make sure I don’t fuck myself up.” He bites back, letting his anger set.

He continues, “I can’t be trusted on my own now, right? I’m too much of a risk ‘cause I’ll try and off myself while he’s gone.” Clenching his fists, he sets his glare on the floor, refusing to meet Vinny’s eyes.

At that, the Italian has enough. “Did you even consider that maybe I’m here because I actually want to see you, and not for some ulterior motive?” Vinny snaps and Alex sinks in defeat, because it’s Christmas Eve and the last thing he wants to do is fight.

“I’m sorry.” He offers, fists unclenching as he steps back, back meeting the counter behind him.

Vinny bites his lip, watching the other man crumble. “It’s okay.” He reassures, and he’s being honest. He has no idea how hard all of this must be, especially when the blond didn’t have a good track record of self-acceptance to begin with.

“No.” Alex states, “It’s not.” His breathing dips, a sure sign that he’s bringing on an attack.

The Italian moves forward, reaching out with cautious hands for the man in front of him. Alex hesitates, surprising both of them when he steps forward into Vinny’s arms, burying his face into the man’s shoulder.

Vinny holds him while he cries, letting the blond get out everything he’d been bottling up and keeping from Jack for weeks. He runs his hands along Alex’s spine, listening as he mumbles things against his shoulder. He can’t make most of it out, but the things he does catch make his chest hurt.

When the blond calms down, stepping back from the Italian and from the ledge he’d worked himself up to, Vinny takes him by the arm and leads them back out into the living room, foregoing the coffee that had finished brewing. It’s obvious that Alex is exhausted, and Vinny decides caffeine really isn’t the best option right now.

He nudges him in the direction of the couch, walking over to turn off the lights and then coming to sit beside the blond. Alex raises his head to meet his eyes, and Vinny doesn’t hesitate to reach forward and pull the other man against him.

“What has Jack said about me?” Alex whispers against the Italian’s shoulder after a long break of silence.

They’re almost laying down, not quite flat since Vinny is propped up against the arm of the couch and a throw pillow. Alex has his head on his chest, settled now beside him and the back of the couch.

“What do you mean?” Vinny asks in return, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

He hears the blond sigh, “What does he think of me now? I mean, what has he told you?”

Vinny doesn’t reply for a couple of moments, and the silence honestly scares Alex.

“You know how much he loves you right?” The Italian questions. Alex isn’t sure if it’s rhetorical or not, but Vinny saves him the trouble of answering as he speaks again. “You’re literally his entire world, Alex. I know I’ve told you that before, but I don’t think you get it.”

He runs his fingers over Alex’s side where his hand is resting as he tries to gather his thoughts. “Listen to me. Jack’s opinion of you hasn’t changed at all. None of what has happened has made him love you any less, and believe me when I say that nothing could ever make his feelings for you change.”

Alex takes the words in, much of their meaning being lost on him in his current state of mind. The temporary reassurance that Vinny offers is what he needs, though. “I just feel like he doesn’t want to put up with me now.” He confesses, relaxing against the Italian’s side and closing his eyes.

“He’s just frustrated with what’s happened, and he’s lost at how to help you.” Vinny offers, “You’ve got to let him in, y’know. You’ve got to tell him what you need.”

-

Jack texted Alex what time he’d be home, just as he’d said, but doesn’t get a reply. When he steps through the door into his apartment after lunch, he sees why.

Vinny and Alex are still on the couch, but the latter is sound asleep now.

The Italian maneuvers his way off of the couch, doing his best to not disturb the sleeping man, while Jack kicks off his shoes and sets his jacket on the armchair behind him.

They make their way into the kitchen, and Vinny is the first to speak, asking, “How was your dad?” as he dumps the coffee that had been sitting since that morning.

Jack simply watches him from his place leaning against the island. “His usual self.” He offers, letting his head sink as he brings his hands up to rub at his temple. It had been a long day so far, and he’s almost positive that Vinny and Alex’s day hadn’t gone too smoothly either.

The Italian shoots him a look as he turns from the sink, coming to stand near the younger. They’re in relatively the same place that he and Alex had stood that morning, and the thought pulls a frown onto his lips.

Jack lifts his head, noticing the other man’s expression immediately. “What happened?” He asks, dropping his arms to rest against the countertop in front of him.

Vinny bites his lip, deliberating how much he thinks Alex would want Jack to know of their conversation. It’s obvious to him that between the pair not much is being communicated lately. And he understands that on both sides it’s causing problems. “I think he was upset that you left this morning, m’not sure. He woke up and we sort of just snapped at each other, but he’s fine now.” He answers.

The dark haired man looks guilty fleetingly, but then his face is resuming the tired expression it had carried before. “Did he say why he was upset, or are you just assuming?” Jack questions, the words not sounding as rude as they could be taken.

“He made a few comments while he was mad about me being here just to babysit him so he doesn’t hurt himself while you’re not here to watch him.” Vinny discloses, crossing his arms over his chest as he thinks. “I think he sort of feels smothered, but at the same time he’s scared of being away from you.”

“I don’t mean to smother him, I just – he’s so distant now. And I get it, sort of, like I understand why he’s acting the way he is. But I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him if he won’t tell me how.” Jack admits, frustration obvious in the tone of his voice.

Vinny nods, revealing, “That’s exactly what I told him. He’s worried you don’t want him anymore.”

The younger pulls his bottom lip under his teeth, running a hand through his hair as he nods. “Thank you for coming over, you didn’t have to.”

“Hey, he’s my best friend too.” Vinny states, dropping his arms back to his sides. “You can’t have him all to yourself all the time.”

This has the corners of Jack’s lips turning up, just slightly. “You’re right, my apologies. I've been so selfish.” He plays on.

Vinny chuckles, reaching out to bring the other man into a hug. When they pull apart, his words are serious again as he asks, “You want me to stay longer? I can make you guys something for dinner if you want.”

Jack just shakes his head though. Vinny had mentioned in their conversation earlier that morning, when he’d texted Jack about coming over, that he had dinner plans with Gianna tonight. Despite knowing full and well that the Italian would cancel his plans with his girlfriend to stay with them, Jack’s not going to ask that of him. “No, we’re fine, Vin. Go have fun with your girl.”

Vinny nods, smile evident as he steps around Jack, making his way out of the kitchen.

Jack follows after the Italian, entering the living room to find said man hugging a fully alert Alex just into the room. He assumes the blonde had been listening to their conversation, and is somewhat glad. Maybe they can start to work through some things after this.

They pull away, Vinny turning to throw a smile Jack’s way before saying his goodbyes.

The blond meets the younger’s eyes as Vinny closes the apartment door behind himself, and Jack can see something in them, somewhere along the lines of gratitude, that reassures him once again.