Hell Above

It takes Alex nearly a week to work up the nerve to voice his idea to Jack.

They’re stood before the stainless-steel sink in Jack’s kitchen, doing dishes after eating their first homemade meal in a while. Surprisingly enough, the younger of the two actually has quite a knack for cooking, Alex had discovered a few years back. Jack just brushed it off as ‘something he’d learned from his mom’ whenever Alex complemented him on his food.

Alex lifts his hands out of the soapy water, pulling a newly-scrubbed plate up as well. Turning to Jack, he hands over the now-clean plate, watching as Jack wipes it dry with a dishtowel. He decides it’s now or never, opening his mouth to speak as Jack sets the plate down on the counter with the other clean dishes.

“I want to have sex.”

Well, okay. Alex didn't really mean for it to come out like that, but he’s known to be blunt when he’s nervous. Jack just looks over at him, watching Alex’s cheeks flare up in embarrassment. Alex ducks his head, offering the younger the last plate to dry off. Jack takes it, still not saying anything in reply to Alex’s sudden request.

Alex bites down hard on his bottom lip, kicking himself mentally for not thinking through this better. He pulls the drain plug out of the bottom of the sink basin, letting the water drain out, before turning the faucet back on to rinse the suds off his hands. Flicking the faucet back off once he’s done, the blonde stills, refusing to meet Jack’s gaze.

Jack’s fingers curve under the older man’s chin, tilting the blonde’s head up. Jack meets Alex’s anxious eyes, pupils blown wide with anxiety. “Elaborate?” Jack’s voice is soft, reassuring. In all honestly, he’s sort of shocked at Alex’s request. Not repulsed, or turned off, at all, but he didn't expect Alex to ever say that to him, let alone in such a blunt manner. He can tell the shorter male is drowning inside himself, waiting for Jack to laugh in his face. Alex closes his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts in order to not make the situation any worse. Jack drops his hand back to his side, waiting patiently for the man to speak again.

Alex lowers his head again, but doesn't open his eyes. “I was thinking about, – about what we were talking about the other night.” A blush spreads across the man’s cheeks again, eyes opening to meet Jack’s once again. “I mean, I haven’t had sex that I enjoyed in years, and I – you know how I feel about myself, but I trust you, Jay. I guess, I just thought, maybe you would…” He drops Jack’s gaze, sentence trailing off as well.

Jack looks at the man stood in front of him, watching as he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, an obvious sign of nerves. “You want me to help you get off?”

Alex nods in reply, releasing his lip from his teeth. Jack just nods as well, considering this for a few moments in silence. The older man can feel the tension, hates that he’s jeopardizing his and Jack’s friendship over something so trivial as his lack of sex drive.

Alex’s heart sinks a minute later when Jack grasps his wrist, tone lacking any definitive emotion as he says “How about a movie?” It comes out as more of a statement than a question, not that Alex would have answered anyways. He just follows behind Jack as the younger leads him into the master suite.

Alex situates himself on the king sized bed, back pressed right up against the headboard, sweatpants bunching up around his shins as he spreads his legs out on top of Jack’s black comforter. The blonde watches as Jack plops down on the hardwood floor, fingers skimming across DVD’s until he finds one he likes, pulling it from the shelf of his entertainment system and putting it in to play. Alex doesn't really know what to do, feeling both relief and rejection swirl in his gut.

He can’t help but feel hurt at Jack’s reaction, but knows he crossed so many unspoken boundaries by even asking the damn question. Jack finishes at the DVD player, standing up and crossing the room to settle on the bed next to Alex, leaving a small space between them. Alex notices this, but turns his attention to the flat screen mounted on the wall above Jack’s dresser, ignoring the ache in his chest.

They sit in silence, both aware of how awkward the atmosphere is, but neither knowing how to defuse the tension between them. Alex stares out the picture window to the right of Jack’s bed, watching but not really seeing anything. The sun dips lower in the sky, signaling the time passing as the boys sit against Jack’s headboard, the characters of Spirited Away playing out their parts on Jack’s flat screen TV.

Jack knows Alex isn't watching the movie, but truthfully he isn't either. He’s too focused on figuring out where to go from here. Alex wants to have sex with him, or at the very least, he wants Jack to get him off. To anyone else, the request may seem ridiculous or even selfish in a way, but Jack understands what Alex is asking. He understands how much trust Alex has in him and how much it took for Alex to even ask, let alone how much trust it will take for Alex to let Jack actually get him off.

He tears his gaze from the TV, not actually having been watching it at all. He looks next to him, watches Alex as he watches the sun sink behind the sky scrapers surrounding Jack’s apartment building. Jack takes the remote from off the bed beside him, cutting out the volume on the movie before reaching across the space between them and taking Alex’s hand. The blonde tears his gaze from the window at the contact, looking down at their hands before meeting Jack’s eyes; only just noticing the TV’s silence.

It’s silent for a few moments, Alex trying to gauge Jack’s thoughts, while Jack considers how to initiate this. He leans forward, hesitating momentarily, before taking his hand off of Alex’s to rest it against the blonde’s cheek. Jack watches Alex’s honey eyes blink, can see the confusion swim in them. He smiles then, leaning a little closer and letting a quiet chuckle slip out into the tense air.

“I didn't really give you an answer earlier.” Jack offers, and he feels Alex nod against his hand. He presses his thumb against Alex’s cheek, talking over the nerves that are now filling his gut. “Are you sure you want this?” And when Alex nods again, Jack doesn't hesitate to close the distance between them, pushing lightly at Alex’s chest so that he shuffles down onto the mattress, head hitting the pillow as Jack straddles his hips.

The elder sucks in a breath, fingers curling around the duvet underneath him. He watches Jack above him as he tries to regulate his heartbeat. The darker haired man trails his hands down, resting them on Alex’s hips as he says “You sure?” again.

“Jack.” Alex meets dark eyes, nodding for a third time. Jack leans down finally, letting his lips brush against the side of Alex’s jaw. He hears Alex suck in a breath at the contact, pausing until he feels Alex’s hand settle at the base of his neck, fingers pressing lightly. Jack knows its Alex’s way of telling him this is okay, and so he continues, pressing his lips slowly across Alex’s jaw, all the way up until he reaches the blonde’s ear. He nips at Alex’s earlobe, tongue flicking out against the man’s neck as he trails back down, leaving open mouthed kisses as he goes. He turns his head, pressing his nose against Alex’s cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” Jack didn't intend to whisper, but can’t make his voice come out any louder. Jack is nervous, he’ll admit. This is a huge step for the pair, both unsure as to where this is going. The younger won’t deny that he’s wanted this before, has had thoughts of Alex as more than simply his best friend, and won’t deny the excitement coating his nerves. But he’s also painfully aware of how anxious he’s making the older man, and how hard he’s going to have to try to make this good for his best friend.

Alex is breathing hard underneath him, fingers shaking where they rest against Jack’s neck and the comforter. He’s scared, unbelievably so. He hasn't been intimate with someone who he trusts in so long, and it’s so different from being with his clients. This is the first time that someone has been like this with him, to bring him pleasure, in so long, and Alex feels silly, like it’s his first time all over again. “P-please.”

He hears Jack laugh against his skin, can hear the nerves seeping into his best friend’s chuckle as the man on top of him shifts, bringing his hand up to Alex’s cheek again. Their eyes meet, and Alex relaxes slightly, glad that he’s not the only one nervous about this. The younger man pauses, before finally dipping down and pressing his lips against Alex’s lightly. Jack pulls back, unsure if he should continue, but then Alex is pulling him down again, fingers tightening in Jack’s dark hair. Their lips meet again, slightly more forceful than the first kiss, but hesitation is still present in both their movements.

The pair continue to press slow, closed-mouth kisses against each other’s mouths, relaxing against each other as the minutes pass. Jack’s hands move to rest against Alex’s chest, before he brings them back down, fingers slipping under the hem of Alex’s shirt. Jack’s fingers are cold against Alex’s stomach, and the initial contact causes Alex to gasp, their mouths pressing firmer against the other. Jack stills, pulling back just barely to meet Alex’s eyes.

“s’okay.” Is all Alex mumbles, before Jack is dipping back down, pressing his mouth against Alex’s again, allowing his hands to travel further up the blonde’s chest. Jack presses harder with his mouth, tongue licking out against Alex’s closed lips. To Jack’s surprise, Alex complies to his unspoken request, opening his mouth slightly and pushing back against Jack’s mouth with his own with more confidence.

They continue like this, slow open-mouthed kissing while Jack’s hands roam under Alex’s shirt, along his sides, in his hair. Alex doesn't know what to do, honestly. He’s enjoying this, a lot, but it’s all almost too much for him to comprehend. The blonde hasn't been given intimate attention like this in so, so long; doesn't know how to handle the way Jack is everywhere, invading all of his senses. He focuses everything on just kissing Jack, the way their tongues are sliding together, and trying to get enough air in each time the pair separate to breathe.

Jack’s hands are under Alex’s shirt, mouth working against a spot just below his ear. Alex is just trying to breathe. He wants his hands to stop shaking against Jack’s neck, wants his chest to stop feeling like it’s going to cave in. He thinks it’s strange how he can allow complete strangers to degrade him without blinking an eye, but is on the verge of a panic attack because his best friend is sucking on his neck, marking him. He knows it’s because he actually gives a shit what Jack thinks of him, and the fact that he doesn't like himself translates to Jack probably won’t either in the blonde’s head.

Jack bites down surprisingly hard against the boy’s skin then, his tongue instinctively licking over the area a second later, and then Alex is unintentionally rutting his hips up, because fuck, that felt good.

Jack pulls back, looking down at him. Alex can feel the blush spreading across his face, mentally cursing his body for being turned on, but then silencing that thought, because this is exactly what he asked for.

Jack just grins though, nothing short of adoration shining in his eyes as he looks down at the blonde, and Alex sort of wants to cry because shit, he does not deserve Jack.

But then things are happening again, as Jack tugs at the hem of Alex’s shirt. The elder leans up, allowing Jack to pull his shirt off and discard it on the floor. The blonde reaches out, fingers gripping the edge of Jack’s shirt and meeting the other man’s dark eyes. Jack nods, pulling his own shirt over his head and tossing it on the ground beside Alex’s, understanding that the elder doesn't want to be the only one so exposed.

Alex settles against the bed again, bare back flat against Jack’s black comforter. Jack settles on top of Alex’s thighs, leaning down and pressing his mouth against the blonde’s chest, just under his collar bone. The blonde’s breath falters once again, and Jack reaches a hand up to tangle with Alex’s, resting their joined hands against the comforter in reassurance.

Jack makes his way down Alex’s chest, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses and the occasional bite. The blonde lifts his shaking hand from beside him off of the bed, twisting his fingers through Jack’s dark hair. He hears Jack hum against his stomach, feels it just under his bellybutton, and it would have been cute, funny even, if he weren't so turned on right now. He is turned on though, extremely so, and so the noise and feeling of Jack’s lips against his stomach go straight to his dick.

Jack grips his hand a little tighter before letting go in favor of placing both his hands on Alex’s hips. He can hear Alex’s erratic breathing above him, notices the light sheen of sweat that’s formed across the man’s skin. His hand dips down, fingers trailing just above the band of Alex’s sweatpants. “Tell me to stop if I go too far.” He looks up slightly, meeting Alex’s eyes. The blonde’s pupils are blown wide, and Jack can see the emotions swirling there; anxiousness mixed with complete lust.

Alex nods, fingers tightening in Jack’s hair as the younger leans back down, licking across the path his fingers had just traveled. Alex’s hips lift again, erection pressing against Jack’s stomach. “Shit.”

Jack chuckles at the action, dipping his fingers underneath the band of the man’s sweatpants and tugging down as Alex raises his hips, – intentionally this time.

Jack has to move off of Alex in order to get the sweatpants down his legs, and the entire exchange is a bit awkward. The entire time all Alex can think about is how much he wants Jack back in his personal space, but when Jack returns above him, Alex can’t help the nerves that spring into his chest.

He wants this, he knows he does, but he still isn't completely comfortable letting Jack see him, all of him.

Jack meets his eyes, leaning up to kiss his lips a few times before whispering relax against his mouth.

The younger boy shifts again, moving back down Alex’s body until he’s settled between the blonde’s shaking knees. Alex’s eyes are shut tight, he’s too busy focusing on breathing to pay attention to what Jack is doing. So when Jack bends down, mouths at Alex’s hard on through his boxers, the blonde nearly chokes on his own spit. “Fuck.” His voice is low, rough and he hasn't heard himself sound like that in years, – hasn't felt this good in years.

Jack leans back up, watches Alex’s face as he begins palming the blonde through his dumb fuschia boxers. Alex begins to visibly relax as Jack’s hand continues against him, body easing against the mattress, and eyes slitting open to look up at Jack through his eyelashes.

The darker haired man can’t help but feel a stirring below the waistband of his own pants as he looks down at his best friend, completely strung out beneath him, because of him. Jack has never been one for power trips, but he can’t help but feel good over the fact that Alex is letting him do this, that he trusts him enough to be this vulnerable. Jack presses his palm down against Alex with a bit more force, wanting some sort of positive reaction out of the blonde, and receiving it in the form of a low whine from the older man’s throat.

He leans down again, pressing feather-light kisses and bites to the inside of Alex’s thighs, right up until Jack can feel the man’s erection against his cheek, Jack’s hand still working him through his boxers. It’s then that he decides ‘fuck it’ and removes his hand from the man beneath him. Alex’s eyes open at the loss of touch, confusion clouding his pupils as he meets the younger man’s eyes. He notices how dark Jack’s eyes are, but before he can think any more about it, said man is slipping his hand into Alex’s boxers.

A tiny gasp leaves the older man’s throat as he lifts his hips again, allowing Jack to easily slip off his boxers for him. Alex is terrified all over again, all ease erased as Jack drops his boxers to the ground, leaving the blonde completely exposed. Instinctively, his hand reaches to cover himself, but then Jack is catching his wrist, effectively stopping him. Jack resumes his earlier position, head between the elder’s shaking thighs, which are now laid flat on the mattress.

Jack’s slim fingers curl around Alex, lips pressing against his inner thigh again, and then, taking a huge leap, he wraps his mouth around the head of Alex’s dick. He hears Alex suck in a breath above him, and then Alex reaches down, taking purchase of Jack’s disheveled hair and pulling lightly at the roots. Jack hums around him, sinking down to take more of the elder into his mouth, hand working what he just can’t get. Alex makes a noise then, something between a moan and a whine, fingers tightening in Jack’s hair.

Every thought vanishes from the older man’s mind as Jack swallows down around him, bobbing his head and tightening his grip on the man’s dick. He feels fucking fantastic right now, all thoughts of self-hate gone as the fire in his belly grows, Jack’s mouth working him closer and closer to the edge he hasn't reached in years. He’s been letting quiet noises slip out, not even bothering trying to contain the little whines and gasps he’s emitting each time Jack hollows his cheeks out around him.

And then Alex is gripping Jack’s hair tighter, other hand tangled in the sheet, as a strained “J-Jack I’m gonna – ” sounds out. Jack pulls off, Alex’s hand leaving his hair to fist itself into the sheet. Jack lets his hand take over fully as he looks down at Alex. Not even a moment later and Alex is coming with a high moan, Jack’s hand pulling him through his orgasm as his back arches up off of the mattress, eyes screwing shut in pleasure.

When he comes back down from his high a few minutes later, Alex is pleasantly surprised when he realizes that he doesn't feel gross, – or guilty. No, in fact, the sweaty, blissed-out blonde feels amazing, his entire body tingling still. His eyes feel heavy now, and he has to practically force himself to open them again as he feels Jack shift on the mattress.

He opens them to see Jack watching him, smiling when he sees honey eyes open to meet his. He’s still leant over Alex, although now over his upper body. He reaches across the man, pulling out a few tissues from the box on the nightstand and then wiping Alex’s stomach clean for him. Jack leans down, pressing his still half-clothed body against Alex’s as he presses their lips together, grinning when he feels Alex press back against his mouth gently. The blonde can feel Jack’s hard on pressing against him as Jack pulls away, so he leans up slightly, gesturing with his hand down to Jack’s rather obvious problem, “Let me – ”

But Jack just shakes his head, swatting the blonde’s hand away and getting up off the bed. He retrieves Alex’s stupid pink boxers from the floor, and then proceeds to wrestle them up the man’s legs, Alex offering little assistance. Once the article of clothing is settled on Alex’s hips again, Jack straightens back up. He presses another kiss to Alex’s sweaty forehead, pushing the blonde’s hair back and saying “m’gonna go shower, alright?” quietly to the half-conscious man.

Alex just nods, rolling onto his side away from the orange glow from the window.