Hell Above

“Have you ever considered it though?” Alex watches as Jack shuffles around the island he’s perched upon, figure blurring in and out of the shadows that the light from the window above the sink creates. The blonde leans forward, the backs of his knees pressing against the edge of the marble counter top as he leans his weight onto his forearms, resting them on top of his thighs.

“Can’t say I have, actually.” Jack says, amusement lacing his voice as he speaks over the sound of Jack’s Mannequin playing quietly from the Ipod dock settled on the counter top near the fridge. Alex rolls his eyes, opening his mouth to comment again, but then Jack turns around, cutting the elder off. “Alex, I don’t care about space. Shut up and eat this.” The dark haired man then pushes a plate into the blonde’s hands, a near-perfect grilled cheese sandwich sat atop it.

Alex grins at the man stood in front of him, doing as Jack told him to and keeping his mouth shut as he eats his sandwich. “You have to admit it’s interesting though.” He speaks up a few minutes later, after swallowing the bite he’d had in his mouth, looking up at Jack who’s leant up against the counter opposite him.

Jack just shakes his head. “Nope. It’s nice to look at, but still pretty lame,” He then raises the hand that is currently gripping his own half eaten grilled cheese, before pointing at Alex, “like you.”

It’s quiet between the two for a few moments, the only sound coming from Jack’s Ipod, before Alex speaks up again. “Was that, – did you just compliment me?”

Jack stuffs the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth, grabbing his now empty plate and then offering a hand across the space between them to take Alex’s as well. The blonde complies, handing over his plate and then watching as Jack makes his way to the sink, his hair black against the light from the city streaming through the window.

“I called you lame, that’s a pretty shit compliment.” Jack says, facing away from Alex and towards the view out the window. Alex twists around on the counter, glancing over his shoulder to check the time on the stove behind him as Tyler Joseph’s voice sounds out the intro of A Car, A Torch, A Death through the dark kitchen from the Ipod dock. The clock reads 12:18, and Alex thinks it’s sort of funny they’re eating this late.

He hears Jack step back over, and he twists around again to meet the other man’s eyes. Alex notices that they look almost black in the dim lighting as he begins talking again. “I know, but you said –”

But then Jack is cutting him off, stepping between his dangling legs and securing Alex’s hips in his grasp. Alex hears his own breath hitch as Jack leans up, their noses bumping as he breathes out a quiet “Jack.”

Jack laughs, the sound melting into the song still playing out into the otherwise silent room. “Shut up, Alex.”

So Alex does. He leans down, ignoring his initial urge to speak again, and connects their lips instead. Jack reacts immediately, pulling Alex further into him and tilting his head up and sideways a little as he presses back against Alex’s mouth. Without thinking, Alex wraps his legs around the younger’s waist, unintentionally pulling them closer together as he leans down, further into Jack from his position on top of the island.

Alex’s brain kicks in then, his initial thought being shit, where do I put my hands? This hadn't occurred to him at all the night before, – he’d been too worked up to consider trivial things like hand positions – but this time around he’s a lot less nervous and he’s suddenly really concerned with what to do with his hands, which up until now had just been pressed flat against the counter top underneath him. He settles for resting them against Jack’s chest, then moves one up and winds it behind Jack’s head, curling his fingers into the younger’s hair, pulling lightly.

Jack grins against his lips then, and Alex doesn't hesitate to open his mouth slightly. Jack follows the blonde’s lead easily, slipping his tongue into the other man’s mouth. The bridge of the song sounds out as the pair explore each other’s mouths slowly, neither in any rush to take things further.

Alex leans forward again, a bit too far this time, causing his ass to slip off of the counter as he falls forward into Jack. The dark haired man stumbles back as Alex falls, reaching a hand behind him to brace against crashing into the counter. He grabs a hold of Alex with his free arm, pulling the blonde against his chest to keep him from falling face first onto the floor.

Jack steadies them, leaning up and off of his arm as Alex stands up straight. It’s too dark to see clearly, but Jack just knows that Alex is blushing like mad over what just happened. The younger takes a step back, leaning fully onto the counter behind him and winding his arms around Alex again, pulling the blonde against him as their breathing returns to normal. Alex leans his head against Jack’s chest, arms winding around the younger’s waist and fingers pressing into the small of Jack’s back as they stand there, the closing lines of A Car, A Torch, A Death sounding out through the otherwise silent kitchen.

“You okay?” Jack’s voice comes out breathy, a little laugh sounding out at the end of his question.

Alex snorts against his shoulder. “Mortally embarrassed.”

Jack smiles, tightening his arms lightly around the blonde’s small frame as he speaks again. “You’re cute.”

Alex laughs at this, “I thought I was lame?” he comments, amusement clear in his tone.

Jack leans his head down, pressing his nose into Alex’s hair as he mumbles out “That too.”

-

Jack wraps an arm around Alex’s waist, leaning over and pressing his lips to Alex’s hair. They’re now stood in front of the bathroom vanity, getting ready to go to sleep. Jack has been making faces in the mirror while they brush their teeth, earning cute little giggles from Alex every time the blonde catches a glimpse of Jack’s reflection in the mirror.

Jack has already finished up, and has then decided to annoy the blonde. Alex halfheartedly pushes the younger away, bending down to spit his toothpaste into the sink and rinse his toothbrush. He straightens up when he’s done, setting his toothbrush on the counter top next to the sink and turning to face the man stood beside him. Jack smiles down at him, thin hands finding Alex’s hips as he steps forward until he has Alex pressed against the counter lightly.

Alex reaches up, hands settling at the base of Jack’s neck as he registers how easy it is – being intimate like this with Jack. It’s practically instinctual, the way he feels so natural in Jack’s arms, and that thought alone terrifies him. When Jack bends down, Alex doesn't hesitate to meet him halfway, lips pressing together smoothly. He bites his lip as Jack pulls away, following the younger into the bedroom as he flicks the bathroom light switch off on his way out.

It’s about an hour later, as he lays in bed wrapped securely in Jack’s arms while the younger sleeps, that Alex comes to a conclusion. The only person that Alex has ever actually cared about enough to let in fully is currently snoring lightly beside him, and there is nothing that scares the elder more than the fact that this new stage in their relationship could actually screw up everything that they've both worked so hard to maintain. He has to distance himself from Jack if he wants to avoid losing him completely.

-

When Jack wakes up the next morning to find Alex gone, he isn't at all surprised – upset, yes, but not at all surprised. He knows just by the empty space in bed beside him that Alex isn't anywhere in the apartment, and when he sits up he finds a sticky note attached to his phone on the nightstand that confirms this.

He can’t help but feel slightly irritated as he gets out of bed, not bothering to put on pants and instead just heading out to the kitchen in pursuit of coffee. He’d be a fucking liar if he were to say he hadn't expected this. He knew Alex was going to go back to work, it had actually astounded Jack that the blonde hadn't gone back sooner. This fact doesn't make him feel any better though, not at all.

He would give anything for Alex to stop prostituting. Jack would gladly keep the poor man shut up in this apartment if it meant that he didn't have to go back out on the streets and sell himself. But the fact of the matter is that Alex is his own person, and Jack can’t – and won’t – keep him here. If the elder feels a need to justify his place and support himself in a way that he knows how, then Jack really can’t stop him. He can only be here for Alex when the man needs him, and hope that he’s safe doing god knows what while Jack sits on his living room floor staring at the cup of coffee in his hands.