Going to Pasalacqua

Dreaming
I was only dreaming
Of another place and time
Where my family is from
-Before the Lobotomy

“I'm going to get a ride home with Angie.” I tell Mike. Who is talking to a bunch of fangirls in the hallway and signing year books, while from a distance I watched Billie reject them with a bitter look in his eyes. He hasn't seen me yet so I believe it to be a good opportunity to leave now before I cause anymore pain foe either of us.

“Aww why?” he asks.

“Because Billie is here...” I murmur.

He ruffles my hair “I remember a time when you were excited to see him. I know you guys are in a rough patch but come on.”

“Don't worry.” I assure him “We are working things out. Just give it a little time. If you want to know everything, talk with Billie.”

I was fairly confident that he will have received the rose by now. So I wasn't going to proceed to wade in dangerous waters by telling Mike my conditions.

He nods, gives me a brief hug and goodbye and I'm jogging towards the exit where Ang stands. She waves at Mike and walks me out to her car. A messy second hand suburban that compared to her near perfect appearance, didn't match her at all. But I guess trying to move from a big city without a lot of money or anywhere to go, it fits quite nicely.

We listened to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody on repeat while we traversed the familiar streets just talking about life. She wanted to re-familiarize herself with the streets, places and addresses so we drove around for a hour. The windows rolled down, allowing the muggy warm air to fill the car. Though it was only spring in California, today was a particularly warm day. Making you feel just that much luckier.

Angie spilled all on all the boys she had dated in Los Angeles and how they had all come out flops. I quizzed her in what her ideal boyfriend would be. Her answers were funny, unpredictable, a wild personality and also be able to be on the same page with her. In harmony without the rough edges of not getting along. A perfect person appeared in my head and I offered for her to meet him some time either before or on graduation. She just laughed at my offer saying I couldn't find the guy fir her. I beg to differ...

When we got home, Angie had to fangirl over everything to missed about my house. Pointing all over the foyer and pointing out things that had changed in the little span of a few years. It was actually quite funny to watch her.

“Holy crap you actually have a tv in your room now!” she exclaimed. Really, I didn't see her excitement. I never watched the damn thing. A rare few times I had since mom and dad heaved the thing up the stairs and onto the tv stand against the west wall. 

I suppose by now you should at least know what my room looks like- it has sky blue walls, white trim around the walls and windows. Also bordering the door. There are two windows in my room, one to the east of my bed that hung out over the edge of the house so you could sit there. There is a much smaller, round window just above the desk where the vase of white roses from this morning still sat. Unmoving and waiting to be sat into the sun. I did just that upon entering my bedroom, I crossed the wood floors and picked up the vase carefully and set it into the padded, cushion clad window sill.

I smiled at them briefly before turning back to Angie. Her grin was mysterious. And knowing... Shit she knew the whole thing just by the size of the vase and all the roses in it, including the hefty price it must have had. She sighed and crossed the room. Plopping down onto the bed she continued to smile, gazing at the roses before asking “How much did he fuck up?”

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

I had spilled all to her. Including a fresh batch of tears which left black mascara trails down my cheeks as I pouted. Hugging my pillow also clad in pink like the rest of the bedding. Looking at the wood floor unseeingly. Angie rambled about some date she went on with a psycho in LA. I was kinda drowning her out. I know that's mean since I haven't seen her in a while. But still, everyone has to take the chance to wallow around in self pity every now and then. Even though I'm pretty sure I covered a fair share of self pity yesterday, screaming at the girls on the soap operas telling them to dump the dumbshit's ass for cheating on her. Even though I hadn't been cheated on, it didn't make me feel any better.

We stayed up late and I ditched dinner again even though I was starving. On five occasions mom had come to check on me. When she saw Angie there, they started fangirling over each others presence so it gave me the opportunity to wallow again. Mom told us goodnight on her last visit at ten thirty and I didn't see her again for the rest of the night. Not once during any of her visits did I mention to her what I and Billie were going through and what kind of settlement we had worked out. No matter how much I wanted to, she was the wrong person to tell. She didn't personally favor Billie over one of my ex boyfriends I'd had when I was fifteen. Hell they loved him because his parents were rich and had 'social connections' they didn't like Billie because he came from what people call, the other side of the tracks. And it's stupid. Just because he and his friends and family aren't as rich as everyone over here, everyone thinks they have the right to call then out on it. Money isn't everything, it's what's in their hearts. And I know Billie's better then my own.

Angie had fallen asleep sometime around twelve thirty after we did a play by play of our lives after she moved away. I sat, wide awake though. Watching some mindless sitcom that I was hardly paying attention to. I was alone, sitting in my room lit by my bedside lamp. And now with Angie asleep, I can wallow more openly in my loneliness. I hate being alone. Absolutely loath it.

I heard a tap and my head snapped up. I looked around the room for the source but didn't find anything that fit the sound. So I shook my head, figuring that I was just  losing it and focused again. on the tv. 

Tap!

I looks around warily. Then back at Angie who was snoring slightly. I shook my head, but this time didn't look back at the tv. 

Tap, tap— Crash!

“Holy shit!” I yelped. Hopping up at a stone that had literally flown through my open bedroom window. I steppes around it and towards the window, looking down into the blackness which surrounded the lawn.

“Adeline!” someone hissed down below.

“Lemme up!” he hissed again and I recognized him at once. I had the old rope latter from the treehouse out back in my room, I'd stole it two years ago to help get my ex into my bedroom. Bur then dumbfuck had fallen onto the floor whe he got in and cursed, mom and dad found out and he was still squirming around on the floor. Because of his stupidity, I almost shoved him back out the window myself.

But the figure who climbed the latter and appeared in my room was not my ex. But the familiar mass of short black dreadlocks confirmed that he wasn't. Only he was the  person I loved. I pulled him in and he stumbled to his feet, smiling up at me with his brilliant green eyes. Which were not hazy or cloudy looking. 

“Missed you...”

And he was gone. Disappeared into s puff of smoke.

I jerked up straight and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I found that I had only woken up because Angie had kicked me in her sleep. The Tv was still on. The volume low, I frantically crawled across the bed and looked down at the floor. Trying to see the stone. But nothing, the floor bare.

Still I squirmed free of the blankets and stumbled towards the window. Gripping the sill, I peered out into the black, empty night: dread and sadness filled me. He was never here. It was just a cruel prank my unconscious mind played on me. I feel miserable for having fallen for it. 
I stumbled towards the tv and turned it off. Turned off the lamp then flopped onto the bed. Laying on my back staring up at the dim ceiling with my hands in my hair. I sigh “Alas, it was not but a dream.” I quoted. Closing my eyes and falling into a dreamless sleep.

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

“No... Leaveme alone...” I muttered groggily. Pulling the blankets over my head. I heard light laughter behind me and tried to ignore it. I nuzzled my nose against my arm.

“Do it again!” someone hissed. It wasn't Angie. That was pretty clear. And I recognized the voice. But chose to ignore it as much as I was able. I once again felt the light grazing of fingertips on the bottoms of my feet. I kicked at their hands and sucked all my limbs under my comforter along with my head. A chorus of loud laughter occurred behind me and I clutched onto both the edge of the blanket and onto sleep. The blanket snapped out of my hands and I eyes flashed open. Groggy and blurry at first, I looked onto the right side of the bed where Tré sat next to Angie with my pink comforter knotted up in his hands and I was suddenly yanked from my warm comfy world. I sighed loudly, grumbled and rolled over. Yanking the pillow over my head. When Tré stole that one as well, I reached over without looking and stole Angie's pillow. Gripping it tightly over the back of my head. It too, was ripped from my clutched. Then they both began to whipper loudly in my ears.

“Wake the fuck up Adeline.” they cooed like they were singing a baby to sleep. Without looking, I lashed my hand out and lazily slapped Tré.

“Fuck off Tré.” I grumbled into the mattress. Normally I'd humor his morning stupidity no matter how pissed off I was. But this morning I was still quite pissed at the dream I'd had last night. And I was mad that it hadn't been real and now I'm sitting here in the morning light absorbing annoyance from two of my best friends. I love them both a lot. But I feel like attacking them both with a parade of ranting rage anger and emotion. But no one likes a pouty baby so I've got to keep it to myself.

“HAHA HA! IN YO FUCKIN DREAMS.” Tré laughed loudly in my ear. I was slowly jerking up in bed. I smiled sweetly at him before shoving him backwards off the bed onto the wood flood because he had begun to laugh at my bed head. I stumbled out of bed towards my mirror and examined the hair style. A bird nest is probably the best thing to compare it to.

I sighed and grabbed my brush and began to sort out the mess in a daze. Angie snickering and talking to Tré behind me.

“So why exactly did you come over today Tré?” I ask nonchalantly as I flipped through the clothes in my closet, avoiding dresses at all costs, which given my luck, was mostly the only thing in there. I sighed and shut the doors, going to my dresser to dig around for a regular pair of jeans and shirt. The Beatles CD I'd gotten for Christmas from Dave, Billie's brother, played on my stereo. I tried to concentrate on the music rather then the overall reason I am not with Billie now. Because of my overreacting...

I sigh and exit the room with a armload of clothes without waiting for Tré's answer.

But however, I did eventually find out why he was here. Mike had put him up to visiting me today to see if I was ok after my abrupt exiting yesterday. He didn't do it himself because Billie was bust stretching him a little thinner to go play a birthday party for a sixteen year old girl today. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tad bit jealous of him being with someone who could potentially take my place by his side.

I rub my forehead. Angie had answered the door at six this morning (a new record for how early Tré has been up) and they hit it off. Without my intervening. Not that I mind. And so they had to pester me this morning while I was just trying to sleep. Now they sat on either side of me at the kitchen island. Poking each other enthusiastically without really acknowledging my presence in between them. I stared Down at the bowl of cereal before me. Slowly getting soggier. Of course I'd have eaten it if I were alone. I'd always had a phobia of eating around other people. With people watching me and waiting on me. Even though I'd known both Tré and Angie for a while, it still bugged me to be watched.

I rose from my sear in between them and moved my bowl with me as I exited the kitchen and went into the dining room and sat down at the long table. A sigh of relief and I dug into my food, happily alone and unobserved like a germ in a microscope.

I finished and cleaned up and put my bowl into the sink upon entering the kitchen. Noticing that Tré had scooted closer to Angie by taking up the seat I'd used to separate them. I rose my eyebrows as their conversion was about music. Drumming techniques in particularly. I rolled my eyes, stuffed my books and whatever into my khaki green bag. Called out a goodbye and exited the house alone.

First walking up the sidewalk three blocks before getting a grip on my sense of direction and figuring out where in the hell I even wanted to go. I blinded my eyes from the suns bright rays and began to walk north. To Main Street.