Status: Active
I Want Our Love to Surround You
Houston, TX
She was supposed to be sleeping as the big production bus inched to a stop. Teague loved to think that she would feel okay that day.
The first day of Warped Tour 2014.
The first day of the 20th anniversary tour.
Last year she didn’t sleep for the first 2 nights on the bus. Whether it was the shock of getting the job or the separation from her friends that kept her up she didn’t know. She had felt like she had won the lottery of life, pulling an experience out of a bucket of scraps of paper that said ‘You won! Go collect your prize and live a dream you never knew you had!’. The truth is that every 14 year old loves warped tour. It was like the disneyland of pop punk, metal, and lets be real... Boys. But after years of attending and watching her favorite kind of music dwindle and die she almost forgot about the celebration of alternative music. Teague had grown up and grown out, but yet there she was, staring up at the ceiling of the coffin of her bunk.
A moment of quiet passes before she pushes back the burgundy curtain to glance around. One deep breath and a quick glance around later the 5’8 female was wriggling out of her bunk. She walked through her new ‘bedroom’, being sure to take the sight of any hanging limbs or fallen articles of clothing that had shifted in the night. Bunk life was a huge hassle. Living out of a suitcase for two months wasn’t something she exactly enjoyed but it was definitely.... interesting. Since the bunks on this bus gave her space to actually lay flat on her back she was grateful. Her bus last year was considered a slave ship, with 17 passengers, and not all of them were exactly fond of her. Teague paused at the full length mirrored door that separated the bunks from the front lounge.
Now we all know that every woman has insecurities but Teague wasn’t exactly like that. She was a thicker girl, though fit from working out at home roughly 5 times a week. Every day she thanked god for her small waist (not really, she thanked her mom though) and her shapely thighs. She generally accepted herself for what she was, though she had no body of a model. The California native quirked her head at herself, did a half turn, and shrugged before pressing the button for the automatic door.
Every person who tours knows the feeling of confusion when they step out of their tour vehicle. Often time they never know where they are unless they’re driving. A wall of heat swept over her as she stepped out of the silver sleek bus and onto the asphalt.
Instantly she regretted her clothing choices.
With a mild scoff her feet scuffled to the side of the bus where she opened the bay and pulled out her suitcase. After 10 minutes of digging she grabbed the clothing and her bathroom bag (which held toiletries, a towel, etc.) and started the exploration of the fenced off side of the venue.
Finding the shower was half of the problem. The other half was that it was too early for the water to be warm. Teague wouldn’t complain about having to take a cold shower though, they were in Texas for fucks sakes.
---------------------------
Houston, TX - Warped Tour 2013
This is it, it’s Prom night. Warped Tour prom. That’s kind of a joke isn’t it? I mean I’m pretty sure that the only reason production puts this stupid thing on is because they like to watch us scramble for dates. But just like high school prom I watched plenty of adorable warped tour prom dates unite and declare their ‘love’ on stage/over a microphone/in some ridiculously cute way.
Unfortunately I wasn’t as lucky.
I mean I get it, I’m definitely no 10. I never have been. I never WILL be a 10 but I like it that way. I like being me. Slightly thick, slightly goofy, and way too honest. Thats me in a nutshell, but for some reason I fly under the radar like some kind of exile when it comes to these boys. I shouldn’t be butt hurt but.. Hi.. My names Teague and i’m fucking butthurt. After Owen I was hoping that maybe coming out here would show me that I could open up to someone again but all I’m getting from this experience is that I’m just not emotionally available yet... At least that has to be the reason why no one is showing interest... Or I’m not good enough; but lets not get into that cry fest.
Sometimes I just wish I could erase my past to open myself up to the future but I don’t think that would help me. I’d be just as vulnerable as the first place.
---------------------
On tour there are many different kinds of woman. Teague had learned this lesson last year both with her friends, herself, and from others. Let’s all consider Warped Tour one big summer camp for music. Put close to 1000 people (a 6 to 1 ratio, men to woman) on close t0 60 traveling busses across the county and you’re going to have hookup, relationships, and even home wreckers. The term ‘lot lizard’ was loosely thrown around when she arrived but as the svelte young woman worked consistently every day without pushing herself at band members she started to earn the respect of fellow working woman in the industry.
The venue for the Houston date was pretty nice on the back end of things. The shower rooms have an array of lockers, multiple bathroom stalls (4, so the wait wasn’t that killer), and a separate area for the woman who actually gave a mild shit about their appearance. Teague wiggled in-between the 3 ladies who were strategically preening and pruning in front of the expansive mirror.
As she started to blow dry her hair out she would let her eyes dart to the faces sharing the mirror. There was always a layer of insecurity that settled over her when she focused too much on the other ladies of the tour. Though woman being on the actual tour was sparse, a good percentage of them were stunning. After a moment of appreciating one of the girls figures and another of wishing she had cheekbones like the brunette standing beside her she refocused and tried to finish her hair and makeup in mental peace. Teague brushed her eyebrows on, coated her big eyes in mascara and contoured her face with complete knowledge that it all would most likely melt off in a couple hours.
It was about how she felt more than how she looked.
Her job this year was simple; create and sell schedules. The hard part wasn’t creating the schedules, it was finding the major landmarks and placing them accordingly. As she flounced around the venue she seemed to be walking in every direction. Teague was side stepping, walking backwards, turning in full circles, and even standing on her tippy toes for moments at a time. “Wow this shit is fucking ridiculous.” Her groan was the first complaint of her warped tour year, and this in itself made her lose concentration. She had a goal of not becoming a negative nancy about a job that many other people would practically kill to have. “I mean.. I love my job.” She was saying this to appease herself with the words, wanting to stay positive.
“Uhm.. Thats ni-“
Teague turned around so fast that she tripped over her own two feet, stumbling into the person who spoke so casually. He was mousy looking with long brown hair and a little smile and a nose that turned up slightly.
“Oh my god I am so sorry, are you okay?” Teague stood up straight and let the guilt hit her. “Seriously I didn’t see you there. I’m an asshole, please forgive me?” The 22 year old knew how it worked on this tour, and the honest truth was that you never knew what people would walk away and say about you after an encounter. She was hoping that this kid wasn’t just going to assume that she was a jerk.
He laughed a little, one hand shoved in his pocket and the other supporting his statement wavering back and forth. “Haha no, it’s totally fine. I was just hoping you knew where catering was?” He shifted back and forth, his kind eyes set on her face in hopes that she was has been wandering around enough to have maybe seen the catering tent. Teague quirked her head in thought and realized that this guy must have been in a band. Band buses were parked on the other side of the venue, while production buses were parked around catering (the perks of working for a sponser). “Uhm yeah you’re going to make a left and then go through those two chain link fences, and then I think make another left around the buses and go straight and then it should be on your right hand side...” She made hand gestures to go with her statement and watched him look around in confusion. He took a step forward, and then right and then looked back at her with a pleading look.
She gave a heavy sigh and a little laugh and started walking. “Come on, I’ll show you.”
“Ermahgerd thank you, I’m just hungry and confused.” He hopped up and walked beside of her. “So.. What do you do on tour?” His question was classic ‘first meeting’ banter. They ask where you’re from, what you do, who you’re out with, and how you got there. It was boring to be truthful but he sounded genuine and not just like he was asking because he felt like he had too.
“I make schedules and sell them for production, what do you do?”
“I play drums for a really shitty band. You know, like every one else on this tour.”
She couldn’t help laughing at that one, because it was probably the most honest and non douchey thing a band member could ever say. Which was rare.
They turned the corner and came up to the catering tent, instantly he sighed in relief. “Thank god they still have bagels. You just saved me from eating fruit for breakfast.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
A small group of tall boys suddenly started waving at the two of them from the middle of the line. “Pat! Over here!” One of them called out and the boy beside Teague nodded and turned to her. “Come on, the least I could let you do is cut us for not letting me starve.” Teague looked at the breakfast line and shrugged a little. Without an answer he grabbed her arm and pulled her to the line.
A tall lean man looked confused at the sight but slowly his expression faded into curiosity. Teague did her best to pretend like she wasn’t being dragged into the catering line to stand with a group of boys that she didn’t know.
For a brief moment she felt naked, almost like the action was swiping off the layers of her clothes. Her mind felt like it was whirring from the fear of that new emotion, if that was what you could call it. Deep down she searched for the answer for why all of a sudden she felt like she was walking into her freshman year 1st period on the first day of school. This was her place, her family lived here, this was her second home. So why did she feel so vulnerable?
On the tour in 2013 Teague had spent most of her time rebuffing the thought that she was some kind of band slut. Just because she got a job on the tour didn’t qualify her for an instant stamp of approval saying ‘Hey girl! We accept you into our crew’. Sexism was a daily battle in an industry overrun by (attractive, pompous, egotistical) men. She was a female, she had a vagina, and she was semi-attractive. In this world that was just an instant judgement.
Her mind resolved the instinctive fight to resist judgement to the reasoning of this strange feeling that had overtaken her. Catering was the place everyone gathered and people seemed to take note who you were seen with.
Before Teague realized it she was standing slightly outside the gangly group. Her attention was grabbed by an average looking dude with reddish cropped hair.
“What took you so long?”
“I told you guys to wake me up otherwise I would get lost and guess what happened?” The lost boy’s voice skyrocketed and warbled when he hit the end of his sentence, clapping his hands a couple times out of either dramatics or anxiety about it.
“Hah, you got lost?!” Teague finally took a look at the tallest of the group again and instantly regretted it. He had a cool coyness about him, some kind of smooth James Dean kind of feel.
Her mind did that automatic ‘cute boy’ shut down and she became rigid. Something about him was off, and was shooting fire in her nerves to move away like some kind of alarm system. They crossed eye contact, blue to blue, like a deer caught in headlights she mimicked him and looked away.
“But this girl saved me because hey, she’s obviously a nicer person than you guys.” His sarcasm broke her thought process and she looked over to the mousy one. “I’m Pat, by the way.”
She cleared her throat and nodded, smiling at him for a second. “I’m Teague, but hey. It was so nice to meet you guys but I gotta go, you know. Got stuff to do.”
/Jesus fucking christ I am SO LAME./
Teague backed up and before any one could protest or say much else she turned as quick on her feet as she could and started weaving her way out of the large white tent.
The cold naked feeling only left her when she got into the openness of the venue.
It was the first day and she was already wavering.
The first day of Warped Tour 2014.
The first day of the 20th anniversary tour.
Last year she didn’t sleep for the first 2 nights on the bus. Whether it was the shock of getting the job or the separation from her friends that kept her up she didn’t know. She had felt like she had won the lottery of life, pulling an experience out of a bucket of scraps of paper that said ‘You won! Go collect your prize and live a dream you never knew you had!’. The truth is that every 14 year old loves warped tour. It was like the disneyland of pop punk, metal, and lets be real... Boys. But after years of attending and watching her favorite kind of music dwindle and die she almost forgot about the celebration of alternative music. Teague had grown up and grown out, but yet there she was, staring up at the ceiling of the coffin of her bunk.
A moment of quiet passes before she pushes back the burgundy curtain to glance around. One deep breath and a quick glance around later the 5’8 female was wriggling out of her bunk. She walked through her new ‘bedroom’, being sure to take the sight of any hanging limbs or fallen articles of clothing that had shifted in the night. Bunk life was a huge hassle. Living out of a suitcase for two months wasn’t something she exactly enjoyed but it was definitely.... interesting. Since the bunks on this bus gave her space to actually lay flat on her back she was grateful. Her bus last year was considered a slave ship, with 17 passengers, and not all of them were exactly fond of her. Teague paused at the full length mirrored door that separated the bunks from the front lounge.
Now we all know that every woman has insecurities but Teague wasn’t exactly like that. She was a thicker girl, though fit from working out at home roughly 5 times a week. Every day she thanked god for her small waist (not really, she thanked her mom though) and her shapely thighs. She generally accepted herself for what she was, though she had no body of a model. The California native quirked her head at herself, did a half turn, and shrugged before pressing the button for the automatic door.
Every person who tours knows the feeling of confusion when they step out of their tour vehicle. Often time they never know where they are unless they’re driving. A wall of heat swept over her as she stepped out of the silver sleek bus and onto the asphalt.
Instantly she regretted her clothing choices.
With a mild scoff her feet scuffled to the side of the bus where she opened the bay and pulled out her suitcase. After 10 minutes of digging she grabbed the clothing and her bathroom bag (which held toiletries, a towel, etc.) and started the exploration of the fenced off side of the venue.
Finding the shower was half of the problem. The other half was that it was too early for the water to be warm. Teague wouldn’t complain about having to take a cold shower though, they were in Texas for fucks sakes.
---------------------------
Houston, TX - Warped Tour 2013
This is it, it’s Prom night. Warped Tour prom. That’s kind of a joke isn’t it? I mean I’m pretty sure that the only reason production puts this stupid thing on is because they like to watch us scramble for dates. But just like high school prom I watched plenty of adorable warped tour prom dates unite and declare their ‘love’ on stage/over a microphone/in some ridiculously cute way.
Unfortunately I wasn’t as lucky.
I mean I get it, I’m definitely no 10. I never have been. I never WILL be a 10 but I like it that way. I like being me. Slightly thick, slightly goofy, and way too honest. Thats me in a nutshell, but for some reason I fly under the radar like some kind of exile when it comes to these boys. I shouldn’t be butt hurt but.. Hi.. My names Teague and i’m fucking butthurt. After Owen I was hoping that maybe coming out here would show me that I could open up to someone again but all I’m getting from this experience is that I’m just not emotionally available yet... At least that has to be the reason why no one is showing interest... Or I’m not good enough; but lets not get into that cry fest.
Sometimes I just wish I could erase my past to open myself up to the future but I don’t think that would help me. I’d be just as vulnerable as the first place.
---------------------
On tour there are many different kinds of woman. Teague had learned this lesson last year both with her friends, herself, and from others. Let’s all consider Warped Tour one big summer camp for music. Put close to 1000 people (a 6 to 1 ratio, men to woman) on close t0 60 traveling busses across the county and you’re going to have hookup, relationships, and even home wreckers. The term ‘lot lizard’ was loosely thrown around when she arrived but as the svelte young woman worked consistently every day without pushing herself at band members she started to earn the respect of fellow working woman in the industry.
The venue for the Houston date was pretty nice on the back end of things. The shower rooms have an array of lockers, multiple bathroom stalls (4, so the wait wasn’t that killer), and a separate area for the woman who actually gave a mild shit about their appearance. Teague wiggled in-between the 3 ladies who were strategically preening and pruning in front of the expansive mirror.
As she started to blow dry her hair out she would let her eyes dart to the faces sharing the mirror. There was always a layer of insecurity that settled over her when she focused too much on the other ladies of the tour. Though woman being on the actual tour was sparse, a good percentage of them were stunning. After a moment of appreciating one of the girls figures and another of wishing she had cheekbones like the brunette standing beside her she refocused and tried to finish her hair and makeup in mental peace. Teague brushed her eyebrows on, coated her big eyes in mascara and contoured her face with complete knowledge that it all would most likely melt off in a couple hours.
It was about how she felt more than how she looked.
Her job this year was simple; create and sell schedules. The hard part wasn’t creating the schedules, it was finding the major landmarks and placing them accordingly. As she flounced around the venue she seemed to be walking in every direction. Teague was side stepping, walking backwards, turning in full circles, and even standing on her tippy toes for moments at a time. “Wow this shit is fucking ridiculous.” Her groan was the first complaint of her warped tour year, and this in itself made her lose concentration. She had a goal of not becoming a negative nancy about a job that many other people would practically kill to have. “I mean.. I love my job.” She was saying this to appease herself with the words, wanting to stay positive.
“Uhm.. Thats ni-“
Teague turned around so fast that she tripped over her own two feet, stumbling into the person who spoke so casually. He was mousy looking with long brown hair and a little smile and a nose that turned up slightly.
“Oh my god I am so sorry, are you okay?” Teague stood up straight and let the guilt hit her. “Seriously I didn’t see you there. I’m an asshole, please forgive me?” The 22 year old knew how it worked on this tour, and the honest truth was that you never knew what people would walk away and say about you after an encounter. She was hoping that this kid wasn’t just going to assume that she was a jerk.
He laughed a little, one hand shoved in his pocket and the other supporting his statement wavering back and forth. “Haha no, it’s totally fine. I was just hoping you knew where catering was?” He shifted back and forth, his kind eyes set on her face in hopes that she was has been wandering around enough to have maybe seen the catering tent. Teague quirked her head in thought and realized that this guy must have been in a band. Band buses were parked on the other side of the venue, while production buses were parked around catering (the perks of working for a sponser). “Uhm yeah you’re going to make a left and then go through those two chain link fences, and then I think make another left around the buses and go straight and then it should be on your right hand side...” She made hand gestures to go with her statement and watched him look around in confusion. He took a step forward, and then right and then looked back at her with a pleading look.
She gave a heavy sigh and a little laugh and started walking. “Come on, I’ll show you.”
“Ermahgerd thank you, I’m just hungry and confused.” He hopped up and walked beside of her. “So.. What do you do on tour?” His question was classic ‘first meeting’ banter. They ask where you’re from, what you do, who you’re out with, and how you got there. It was boring to be truthful but he sounded genuine and not just like he was asking because he felt like he had too.
“I make schedules and sell them for production, what do you do?”
“I play drums for a really shitty band. You know, like every one else on this tour.”
She couldn’t help laughing at that one, because it was probably the most honest and non douchey thing a band member could ever say. Which was rare.
They turned the corner and came up to the catering tent, instantly he sighed in relief. “Thank god they still have bagels. You just saved me from eating fruit for breakfast.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
A small group of tall boys suddenly started waving at the two of them from the middle of the line. “Pat! Over here!” One of them called out and the boy beside Teague nodded and turned to her. “Come on, the least I could let you do is cut us for not letting me starve.” Teague looked at the breakfast line and shrugged a little. Without an answer he grabbed her arm and pulled her to the line.
A tall lean man looked confused at the sight but slowly his expression faded into curiosity. Teague did her best to pretend like she wasn’t being dragged into the catering line to stand with a group of boys that she didn’t know.
For a brief moment she felt naked, almost like the action was swiping off the layers of her clothes. Her mind felt like it was whirring from the fear of that new emotion, if that was what you could call it. Deep down she searched for the answer for why all of a sudden she felt like she was walking into her freshman year 1st period on the first day of school. This was her place, her family lived here, this was her second home. So why did she feel so vulnerable?
On the tour in 2013 Teague had spent most of her time rebuffing the thought that she was some kind of band slut. Just because she got a job on the tour didn’t qualify her for an instant stamp of approval saying ‘Hey girl! We accept you into our crew’. Sexism was a daily battle in an industry overrun by (attractive, pompous, egotistical) men. She was a female, she had a vagina, and she was semi-attractive. In this world that was just an instant judgement.
Her mind resolved the instinctive fight to resist judgement to the reasoning of this strange feeling that had overtaken her. Catering was the place everyone gathered and people seemed to take note who you were seen with.
Before Teague realized it she was standing slightly outside the gangly group. Her attention was grabbed by an average looking dude with reddish cropped hair.
“What took you so long?”
“I told you guys to wake me up otherwise I would get lost and guess what happened?” The lost boy’s voice skyrocketed and warbled when he hit the end of his sentence, clapping his hands a couple times out of either dramatics or anxiety about it.
“Hah, you got lost?!” Teague finally took a look at the tallest of the group again and instantly regretted it. He had a cool coyness about him, some kind of smooth James Dean kind of feel.
Her mind did that automatic ‘cute boy’ shut down and she became rigid. Something about him was off, and was shooting fire in her nerves to move away like some kind of alarm system. They crossed eye contact, blue to blue, like a deer caught in headlights she mimicked him and looked away.
“But this girl saved me because hey, she’s obviously a nicer person than you guys.” His sarcasm broke her thought process and she looked over to the mousy one. “I’m Pat, by the way.”
She cleared her throat and nodded, smiling at him for a second. “I’m Teague, but hey. It was so nice to meet you guys but I gotta go, you know. Got stuff to do.”
/Jesus fucking christ I am SO LAME./
Teague backed up and before any one could protest or say much else she turned as quick on her feet as she could and started weaving her way out of the large white tent.
The cold naked feeling only left her when she got into the openness of the venue.
It was the first day and she was already wavering.