I Want Our Love to Surround You

JUNE 17TH - Albuquerque, NM

The daily scramble of learning how to make schedules for Warped was starting to subside by the 4th date and Teagan was starting to understand the dynamics of dealing with the bratty kids. No matter what bands she had scheduled on the signings list, there were others that she missed or couldn’t get down in time for doors and most of the time people wouldn’t let her live that down. There was also the fact that she controlled the phone charging station and people liked to leave their phones at her booth past breakdown, meaning she had to stand in attendance and wait in hopes that she wouldn’t miss catering.
The 17th was one of those days.
Teagan handed her last cell phone back to the sunburnt shirtless prepubescent boy, avoiding his advances as she grumbled her thanks and walked away as politely as she could. The lavender blonde glanced at her phone, suddenly quickening the pace. It was 6;51. 9 minutes until there would be no more catering tent to get to, or even better, there would be no food left. She weaved in and out of the sea of bodies, dodging slow movers and the occasional drunk like it was her job… Well.. It kind of was. She strolled past the security guard toward the buses and picked up the pace, occasionally nodding or waving at someone she recognized but putting on that ‘I don’t have time to chat’ kind of importance about her. It was all about body language when out on the road and at the moment her body was screaming ‘I’M FUCKING HUNGRY’.
She ran under the large white tent and instantly moaned. Locking eyes with the girl who scanned laminates she could already tell that she was shit out of luck. “Sorry girl, too late.” The brunette shrugged before standing up and starting to count her cash out. Teagan waved and sighed. “It’s fine, I have top ramen.”
She turned back around and started to head out before seeing a group of familiar faces finishing up their plates.
It was hard to not see friends on the grounds every day but just like summer camp it was even harder to avoid them. She sauntered over and leaned on the table, her palms down and her eyes staring at the three of them for a second. “Okay, who here is giving up their leftovers to donate to the ‘Teagan was stuck babysitting cell phone’ fund.” Even though he was hungry and only half kidding, a small smile erupted on her lips.
A burly looking white kid grinned through his chicken choice and shook his head. “Hell no, I’m done donating to you. It hasn’t even been a week yet and you have tried to steal my food like six times.”
Teagan scoffed, acting offended. She stepped back and touched her chest, opening her mouth and bending over. “ME?! I would never. Besides, those were oreos, and I was stoned. You can’t fucking deny me oreos when I’m stoned. Come on Josiah, just a wittle nibble.”
The two girls at the table giggled. One of them was strikingly pale with auburn hair, while the other was more on the bronze side and had curls down her back. The pale beauty pushed her plate towards Teagan, nodding. “I will donate. I always got you girl.”
Teagan plopped down and smiled. “I know Sarah, that’s why I love you.” Sarah and Teagan had become friends after last years tour on another event that was put on by 4Fini. They bonded over hair color and boys and having similar views. Teagan loved that Sarah had a big heart, and Sarah loved that Teagan kept it real while also staying humble. For a while Sarah was actually her boss, though it always felt like they were just hanging out while slingin’ her boyfriend occult t-shirt line. This year she would have taken Teagan out with her on warped but production scooped her up before and honestly Sarah was thankful. There was only so long that you could ask one of your best friends to work for practically nothing.
“You guys are so gay.” The boy finished off his plate and laughed, leaning back in his chair. Josiah and Teagan met through Sarah when she tour managed the band that he worked for a brief second. He did photography for We The Kings and thankfully he was just a cool dude with a good attitude, which was hard to find on the road.
“Stop it Josiah, you’re just jeaaaaaaalous.” Ashley chimed in. She was working with Sarah and was a tall glass of water, not to mention talented with the camera. The boys loved her but she was oblivious to them all because of her work focus. It was beautiful to see someone who was so completely innocent so focused and so determined to make things work for herself.
“Whatever, okay, I would have shared you just didn’t give me the chance.” Josiah threw down his napkin and crossed his arms, grinning like a champ.
All three girls rolled their eyes and laughed.
“WHATEVA, WHATEVA, WHATEVAAAA.” Ashley threw her hands out and mocked him before sitting back and looking at Teagan. “Teague are you going to come hang out tonight in band world with us or what?”
Teagan groaned as she finished the small amount of food that had been on the plate in the first place. “You guys know how I feel about band world, okay?”
“That whole ‘sponsor girl’ excuse is bullshit and you know it.” Josiah made sure to lean in to emphasize his statement.
Teagan let out a long loose sigh. On Warped tour there was two bus areas. There was where the production buses parked, which was referred to as ‘sponsor world’ and there was where the bandwagons and the band buses parked which was called ‘band world’. If a girl crossed the border of band world and sponsor world at night it was always questionable. It took Teagan forever to become comfortable around production buses. Being around the band buses was like a whole new world and she wasn’t interested in taking any magic carpet rides there. “You guys don’t get it okay. I have production on my back at all times, one little problem and I could be off this tour at any second. And the last thing I need is to give people a reason to question whether I’m here for the ‘right reasons’.” Her air quotes weren’t the only things that were backing up her statement. The fear was written on her face. But deep down she knew that she was just scared of what all the snobs in the band world thought of her.
Sarah gave Teagan a look and shook her head. “Just one night. We’re playing BP tonight and you should come chill.”
“Who’s bus are you doing it at?”
“We’re parked right in front of their bandwagon tonight so it will be inbetween the two of them.” Josiah picked his teeth. Ashley groaned at the sight, not having to call him gross since the look on her face did that enough.
“I’ll see, okay guys? It depends on how I feel. I might not even drink tonight”
The table suddenly erupted in laughter, Teagan jumping at the sound. “What?! What?! Why the hell is that funny?”
Ashley wiped at fake tears on her face. “Teagan you say that every day and then I see you are barbeques all like ‘OH HI ASHREE I’M SO HAPPEEEE YOU’RE HEREEEE’.” The tall brunette stood up, ‘drunk’ walking around the table slightly.
“I DO NOT DO THAT.” Teagan couldn’t control her laughter as suddenly her other two friends got up and joined in, putting loopy smiles on their faces. Josiah did a little awkward dance as Sarah stumbled towards the sponsor girl. “What is that Josiah?! I don’t do that!”
“Yes you do, this is your white girl dance.”
“I’m SO OFFENDED I DO NOT DANCE LIKE A WHITE GIRL.”
“yeah?! That’s not what my phone says.” Sarah stood up straight suddenly and held up her white iphone, recalling a time that she busted Teagan drunk dancing and singing to Iggy Azalea.

“Maaaan, fuck you guys.” Teagan’s smile was uncontrollable. The hunger and frustration had left her body, melting away like every part of her that cared. This was why she was here. Her friends were her family, and her family was forever making her forget what her day was like and remember what was important.

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JUNE 25th, Albuquerque, NM 2013. Off Day

This doesn’t feel real. None of it. Tomorrow will be my first day officially working. Officially. With a laminate. A laminate with my own name on it. I will get paid to travel the US with bands and people and I will be part of everything that I never expected. I don’t even give a shit if Kayla and Trina are mad at me for this. I can’t. What am I supposed to do? They couldn’t stay focused, always about hanging out with all the band dudes. I wanted this. I worked for THIS. What did they do?
I can’t say that. I feel like an asshole, but its true. I can’t care about my friends right now. I have to care about me. I’m free of every little problem that held me back two weeks ago. I’m here. I’m happy. I’m free. Nothing is going to stop me from conquering this summer.

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The barbeque was boring, but the drinks were strong. Teagans friends were right about her. When didn’t she drink? Especially after a long day of work, nothing tasted as sweet as a cool beer or a chilled mixed drink. It didn’t help that mostly everyone had stashes in their bunks of rich alcohol; these people always drank in style.
She was sauntering over towards band world, her red solo cup making her feel brazen. Who gave a fuck about stereotypes and production staff lurking. Everyone knew her; they knew that she wasn’t that kind of girl.
The lack of food from dinner didn’t help the fact that she wasn’t sober anymore. Teagan had a habit of forgetting meals and replacing them with whiskey and coke. It didn’t matter much anyways since the only drive home she had to make was with her two long legs.
As he walked through the aisles of buses and bandwagons she couldn’t help but look upwards as if they towered over her. Skyscrapers of music, homing musicians who were dubbed as mostly ‘forever touring bands’. This definitely wasn’t the ‘New York’ of the touring world, but it could be thought of if sometimes.
Band world seemed to always have its own version of a BBQ. Bands gathered to play corn-hole and beer pong, occasionally flip cup and other drinking games. The little cliques always positioned themselves around their buses or under their pop up tents. She was in search of her friends, ignoring the looks that you get when you’re a female that doesn’t live on this side of the Warped Tour tracks.
The scene unfolded infront of her in a glossy vision. It was always good to see them all together. The beer pong table was wet with spilled beer and while two opposing teams shot shit and aimed and missed she grabbed Sarah’s swaying shoulder.
“Bae. You win. I’m here.”
Sarah turned around and grinned, wrapping and arm around her dainty shoulders and let out a little scream. “JOSIAH sponsor girl made her way over to band world!”
Josiah turned from the BP table and grabbed Teagan, spinning her in a little circle to the hip-hop music playing out of a beats pill sitting in a lawn chair. “Glad you came out of your little production hole.”
“Hahaha, fuck off Josiah.”
She looked across the table, spotting some familiar faces that she assumed were from WTK. A loud voice popped up, making her jump in her drunken stupor.
“YO YO YO WAIT JOSIAH THIS IS THE GIRL THAT SAVED ME FROM STARVING.” The mousy boy that she had met on her first day pointed at Teagan. Josiah shook his head.
“No, Teagan can barely keep herself from starving, how could she keep you from doing it?”
“I’m so glad you believe in me Josiah.” Teagan giggled, swaying.
“You’ve been a constant discussion lately, sponsor girl.” Josiah whispered in her ear, making her shake and pushing him away. She shrugged the comment off, suddenly being handed a ping pong ball from the red head from catering.
“You seriously don’t want me to celeb shot this.” Teagan wavered, flicking the ping pong ball between her forefinger and her middle finger.
“She’s drunk! She’s going to slaughter you aaaalll!” Ashley called out.
Teagan raised her eyebrows and pointed at Ashley, nodding in agreement.
“As long as she is shooting on my team I give no fucks.” Josiah set his hands on her shoulders and gave her a mock back rub, like one would do to Ali at his championship fight.
In one quick motion she tossed the ball, sinking a corner cup like it was nothing.
If there was one single thing that Teagan was good at when she was drunk, it was beer pong. She looked to her left as she did her little winners dance and spotted the tall James Dean boy with baby blues. He was leaning on a navy bus, a lithe girl paying the most utmost attention to him.
The chills that reverberated through her made her heart hum. He made her warm on the inside.
But it was most likely the alcohol.
His cool eyes locked with hers and this time he didn’t tear away, she just stared right back. Blue on blue. River swept with ocean. Lightning crackled inside of her and she was enjoying it.
Iggy Azalea came on and she started dancing her little ‘white girl’ dance, laughing a little. The girl who was so attentive to wannabe James Dean stepped in front of him, swaying her hips to the music. She spotted the neon orange strip of paper on her wrist and couldn’t help but let out a laugh. Teagan shook her head and turned around, dancing with Josiah as the opposite side of the table sunk a ball and missed one.
Wristbanders were plentiful in band world, she almost forgot.

As they retrieved the beat up plastic balls she lined up her shot. One eye shut and she focused in on a cup. A warm presence sizzled behind her and for the night with that ping pong ball she threw her inhibitions and let them all go. “Island.”
“Hi.”
Simultaneously her body turned around, not paying attention to whether or not she made the cup (she did, obviously) and found that the lanky boy was standing infuriatingly close to her. “Hi.” Teagan mimicked him, internally laughing at his swagger.
“I’m John.” He pushed his free hand into his pocket, indulging in his own cup of confidence with the other. She had a feeling though that his confidence didn’t come from the liquid courage.
“That’s nice, I’m drunk.” She smiled at him, dancing a little as Josiah eyed the two of them with a smirk.
“What’s you’re name?” John asked, trying to get her attention as she looked back at the game.
“Everyone calls me sponsor girl-“ She lifted her eyes, once again wanting to feel that crackle of eye contact. “I’m not from these here parts.” Her fake southern accent broke before she laughed at herself. “Sorry, I’m sorry. This conversation is too serious for me to handle right now.” Teagan looked over at Sarah and Ashley, who were standing close and watching them with wild faces.
The lavender blonde held out her hands and called out a quick “What?!” before looking back at John. The brunette that had been all over him at the bus was back, pushing herself between them.
John looked over her, straight at Teagan, almost through her.
Teagan smiled at him, gesturing at the brunette cliché and nodding. “You’re obviously a little busy /John/, come talk to me when you’re free.”
She turned back to the game ahead, trying to calm her humming heart.

Liquid courage saved her tonight, but her night was already fuzzy and she was feeling intoxicated. It was only the beginning though. The beginning of many many things…