Status: Currently in progress.

Run

15 Fury

Bucky wasn't sure how to properly disappear. As he had realized in past attempts, he was far too easy to find. He never gave motels his real name and he remained as low to the ground and anonymous as possible, but he kept being found. He wasn't sure what else he could do, since he'd never had to do this before, but he figured his first move was leaving that area of DC. Even though the rest of the city was was expensive, he didn't have the money to go anywhere anywhere else. So DC it was.
Bucky also spent a lot of time thinking about what the Hydra agent had told him. Maybe he was lying. There had to be some sort of headquarters somewhere. They couldn't be so scattered. Where was he even supposed to start?
And there was no question that he had to hunt them down now. They wouldn't leave him alone otherwise, they would just keep growing and coming and he couldn't fight them all, not when they kept ganging up on him and eventually, they would drag him back to hell and steal everything he'd made for himself. He couldn’t help but be afraid. He was the Winter Soldier, but he wasn’t invincible and he was broken beyond belief. He didn’t know he was going to do it, he just knew that for the love of everything, for his very sense of self, he couldn’t let himself be captured. He would rather be dead.
It was out of this desperation, again, that Bucky contacted Steve Rogers. He stood outside of his apartment complex in front of the buzzer, hesitating. If SHIELD had any information on Hydra, Bucky wanted it. He just regretted that he had to reach Fury through Steve, and in fact, that he had to reach Fury at all.
He wanted to approach Fury with clear intentions. He did not want a part of SHIELD-ever. But he would be willing to set up some sort of alliance, if only to make the fear and the attacks stop. He didn’t want to be the Winter Soldier and he didn’t want to be an assassin, but the way his broken cheekbone swelled in the mirror and his shiny new shoulder had already collected some scratches, he didn’t see another way out.
With a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, Bucky pressed the buzzer.
“Hello? This is Steve Rogers,” the speaker said. Bucky hated to speak. He knew the fact that he was here would put hope in Steve’s heart and he didn’t want to watch more hope sink than necessary.
“I need to talk to you about SHIELD,” Bucky said, trying to sound like he wasn’t there to be personal. There was an uncomfortably long pause. “It’s, uh, it’s Bucky, by the way,” Bucky added, in case Steve didn’t know.
“I know,” Steve replied. Bucky waited there in the silence for another long pause. He was growing more and more uncomfortable. He felt guilty.
“I just need some way to reach Fury, Steve,” Bucky said. There was a click and Bucky watched the door in front of him unlock.
“It’s unlocked,” Steve invited.
“Thanks,” Bucky said, but he wasn’t sure if Steve heard.
Bucky found Steve waiting in front of his apartment door. He had his arms crossed over his chest and he was leaning against the doorframe. When he saw Bucky, his eyes widened.
“What happened to you?” He asked. Bucky didn’t know what he meant for a second, but he soon remembered the giant red bruise on his face that had so alarmed Steve.
“There was an accident,” Bucky brushed it off.
“It looks broken,” Steve said. It is, Bucky thought, but since he wanted to move on, he kept quiet. It didn’t matter, broken cheekbones healed.
“I need to come with you for that SHIELD meeting,” Bucky said. Steve’s face, so full of concern moments earlier, hardened at the mention of the meeting.
“Are you going to take him up on that offer you told me about?” Steve asked.
“No,” Bucky said. “But I might consider an alliance, or something. I need information.” Steve looked at him, into his eyes, and frowned. Bucky looked away.
“What accident was there?” Steve asked suspiciously. “Did someone do that to you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Bucky said. Steve stood, leaning away from the doorframe now.
“It matters,” Steve said. “Who hit you?” Bucky ground his teeth a little in frustration.
“You want to know who hit me?” He asked, glaring into Steve’s face, his voice maybe a little too cold and his intention maybe a little too mean. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because they’re probably dead right now.” There was a silence and Steve stared, slack-jawed. Bucky was only silent for a minute. “Steve, I need arrangements to see Fury. Now, please.” Bucky could practically see the responses circling in Steve’s head. Steve was at a bit of a loss. He hadn’t expected Bucky’s outburst, and to be honest, neither had Bucky. But the malice had felt somehow relieving, like maybe Steve would realize that Bucky didn’t have a place in his life anymore.
Finally, Steve replied.
“We’re all taking a plane to a location I can’t tell you here,” he said under his breath. He leaned closer to Bucky and Bucky strained to hear. “Meet me back here in two days at 3 am at we’ll go together, okay?” Oh, together. Together. Bucky stared at Steve. He didn’t understand, why was Steve doing this?
“Are you sure?” Bucky asked. He took a step away from Steve again, towards the stairs. Steve straightened up.
“It’s fine, Buck,” Steve said with a sad sigh and Bucky frowned, taking a breath. How could Steve overlook everything so wrong in Bucky? How could he continue to try to love him? Bucky wanted to take him by the shoulders and shake him and cry, ‘no! Stop! Stop making yourself vulnerable to me! I’m just going to disappoint you.’ I don’t deserve your love!
Bucky turned and left without a word.