Child of Lilith

Once again Eirene sat at her vanity. She was still looking at her bare thighs with hand bruises all around them. He tears had long since stopped leaving her eyes puffed, red, and sore. She switched her gaze from her bruised limbs and looked at the bottom of her vanity mirror. Looking at her torso she noticed the blood he had wiped from his fingers onto her shirt. Blinking hard she forced her eyes to travel higher. Her shorts had been cast aside long ago in tatters on the floor. Her stomach had a large angry bruise that came from the fist he drove through her trying to get her to scream. Her neck was covered in dark spots and his hand marks. She looked up at her face and saw the small bruise from when he backhanded her just below her eye. Avoiding her eyes she looked all the details of her vanity. The cherub at the top seemed to be stuck in a silent scream. Its beautiful face was carved in the shape of pure agony. Chucking softly to herself she thought that the cherub looked how she felt.

Eirene stopped looking at the mirror and heard the slight shaking of the balcony door. Instead of grabbing her robe and opening it like she usually did she left it closed. She walked into the bathroom and turned the water on for the tub letting it get hot before plugging the drain and putting some fragrant calming lather into the water. Once the tub was filled she sank in the water and bubbles covering her almost to her shoulders. She let her head rest to the edge of the tub thinking about how stuck she was. She had started to think about how she had become the person she was today. She started to think about when her father had first started to touch her.

She sat in her purple bed drawing when he walked in. He sat next to her and his hand was rubbing small circles on the back. It felt weird then but he was her daddy and she had trusted him. Slowly his hand had gone from rubbing to caressing. His hand moved from high on her back to low on her waist. She had stopped drawing when she felt the difference in his touch, but she said nothing. He moved his hand to her thigh. His hand was lowly moving from the little curve of her knee higher up her small thigh. When he reached the hem of her fairy night gown she had softly pushed his hand away. He smiled at her and put it back telling her how it was ok, and how he would never hurt her. He slowly lifted the hem of her dress and pressed his forefinger to her private parts through her white underwear. She felt uncomfortable so she tried to escape but his grip locked in her hair. His other had spun her around, his smile had gone from comforting to frightening. “But daddy why…”, he shushed her. Tears started to run down her face.

Eirene blinked and inhaled slightly. She let some of the water out of the tub adding more hot water to sooth her aching skin. A dark and sarcastic chuckle bubbled from her mouth as she remembered what happened when she had gone to a psychiatrist to tell on him.

“So Eirene, tell me about what you wanted to tell me.” The woman with the friendly smile and small eyes asked her. She shook her head and went back to playing with the stacking blocks. She was already 11 years old so she had grown out of such things to amuse herself. She just wanted a reason not to talk to the woman. Especially not about that, she was too afraid. “Ok, that’s fine, how about you tell Mr. Panda here. He’s really good at keeping secrets and you can even keep him over night. Would you like that?” She held about a stuffed panda that was about the size Eirene. Eirene nodded and took the stuffed animal hugging him to her chest.

When the time was up she left with the panda in her arms following him out to the car. She sat in the back and they drove home in silence. The only reason she went was because the school was wondering if she was being abused at home. She had suddenly stopped talking and every time she was alone she just sat staring out the window. Once they reached the house she ran up to her room on the second floor and locked her door. She sat Mr. Panda on the bed and looked at him for a while. She went about her business and did her homework, took a bath, and ran downstairs as quietly as possible gathering fruits for her dinner. Once back in her room she noticed the bear on her bed once more before joining him with her pile of pilfered produce. Handing him an apple she bit into her pear. Silently she ate while thinking how to tell him. She looked into his black eyes and sighed softly before putting her pear down.

“I’m only telling you because the wind lady told me to tell someone ok?” When she was met with silence she continued. “Sometimes when were alone daddy touches me in my private places. I get scared and try to get away but, he just makes me stay…and just the other night he made me touch him through his pants. Something was hard in there. I don’t know what the hard thing was but I know at first I was touching his privates. Me and the lady in the wind don’t think it’s normal. She told me that that isn’t how daddies are supposed to treat their little girls. And I think she’s right you know? Because when he does it feels weird.” Eirene sniffles a little, then smiles brightly when the wind caresses her. She jumps from the bed dancing slowly. She hugged the air around her and started to have a once sided conversation with the lady in wind. Once the night grew dark she nodded smiling sadly and climbed into bed. “Ok Mr. Panda time for bed, I’ll see you in the morning.” She snuggled with the panda and sighed contently.

Eirene relaxed more into the tub letting her body slide under the water so that it was just covering her lips. Rubbing down her skin she heard the soft rattle of the balcony door through the bathroom. She remembered later after she had returned the bear to the psychiatrist she had been diagnosed with early childhood schizophrenia. The bear was rigged with a camera and a mic. She was told the woman in the wind was something her mind had made up. She had been given pills which she used to take but never did anymore. She didn’t like the way they made her feel, like she wasn’t in control of her body. They made the lady in the wind disappear. Whenever she told anyone else about what had happened, her father had always blamed it on her schizophrenia and her reluctance to take her pills. Then he would tell them that the environment was putting a strain on her mental health and move them somewhere else.

Standing from the tub Eirene grabbed her towel and dried her skin before dressing in a dark blue sweat pants and a black long sleeved shirt. Checking her lock once more Eirene curled under her covers and let the soft howling on the wind pull her into a dreamless slumber.

Eirene stood in front of her closet staring blankly at the contents before pulling out a pair of well-worn skinny jeans. Pulling them on with ease she pulled out a large black hoodie with flaming skulls on the front. She slipped her foot into a pair of checkered flats and grabbed her messenger bag before slowly and quietly walking through the house and out the front door. She got in her car and looked at herself in the rear view mirror before pulling her hair back into a simple pony tail. She twisted her hair and it formed a single long ringlet. Satisfied with her style Eirene pulled away from the house and drove to school. Sitting in the parking lot at school she saw that it was still around 5:45 in the morning. Sighing she grabs her belongings and walks over to the courtyard. As she sat in the grass waiting for the sun to rise she took out one of her notebooks, a pencil, and her mp3 player. Eirene took her head phones that were connected to the mp3 and placed them into her ears. Pulling her legs close to her chest she used them as a desk and began to draw. The wind came slowly and Eirene almost felt as if it were guiding her pencil. It formed a perfect nose and full lips. Alluring eyes and perfectly arched eyebrows were next. Slowly the shape of a beautifully curved woman with the wings of birds was etched into her paper. The woman was breathtakingly beautiful and appeared to be devastatingly sad. The sorrow was etched into her features so deeply it brought tears to Eirene’s eyes. She pulled her ear buds out of her ears and placed her note book aside to curl more into herself. Hugging her knees to her chest she let a few silent tears slip from her eyes. She did not sob or whimper nor did she shiver or shake. She sat like that for about half an hour just letting tears silently slip from her eyes.

Sadness so deep and impermeable and slipped around her, blanketing her in a sea of tumult so deep it left her speechless and thoughtless. Until she felt someone’s hand touch her back. She started and looked up to find Yasbal looking down on her with curiosity and latent anger in her eyes. She relaxed slightly at the childish woman in front of her. She looked back at her not able to stop the tears that were cascading down her face. The wind was blowing her hair back and the crushing sadness that had slowly crept around her had receded however the tears were relentless and persistent. They cooled against her face as she waved a slight greeting at the small woman before noticing Dmitri and Luther just behind Yasbal. They shared twin looks of confusion and worry. Both looked like they had wanted to say something but instead they held back. They sat around her in silence as the tears slowed and ceased their flow. She waved a greeting to the two males before drying her tears on the sleeves of her hoodie.

As Dmitri watched Eirene whip her eyes he felt his own gut wrench in empathetic sorrow. Her pain was so complete that he decided to use his father’s eyes to really see her. He closed his eyes and mentally whispered his plea, for the borrowing of the gifts of the fallen. Behind his lids he felt a fire burn bright then a smoldering heat. His opened his borrowed eyes and cast his gaze upon Eirene. Her true self was slowly slipping to the foreground. He watched as her human exterior faded, a faded red, to rival her sinless nature, a pale light blue. Her pain was an empty black that reached and attempted to bleed further. It moved and slithered and tried as it might it could never completely cover her. Glad and proud that he would never lose her to herself, Dmitri started to send the eyes back before he saw a color he had never before seen with the eyes. It was a royal and pure purple, it was lined with red and seemed to be only a small sliver of it but it was present. It was a pure purple that was condensed but pulsing with life seeming to purposefully hide itself behind the other colors. Confused and startled Dmitri lost his concentration and blinked.

The eyes that he borrowed were sent back to his father and he looked at Eirene with his normal eyes once again she was speaking to Yasbal about a class they had together, Introduction to Latin. He observed Eirene and her delicate beauty looking at her from head to toe, checking for anything else that would give her away, a trait that would prove who she was once and for all. He noticed she had been drawing so he observed her artful scribble on the page of her notebook. He noticed it was a woman shaped like a harpy. He looked closer and noticed the face of one that was only ever rumored to exist. Dmitri looked from the drawing to Eirene and noticed the similarities instantly. His eyes went wide when he finally understood what and who his father was talking about.

The wind about him sparked and swirled, it had a hint of sadness and finally he recognized to power of old puppeteering the wind. The female voice that came both confirmed his suspicions and stirred an unknown fear in him.

“It is as you guess, protect her and do not tell her. If you deny my request the death of all you love shall be swift for all except your life.” The wind settled and Dmitri sat as he tried to process what he should do.