Breaking Hearts Still Looks Pretty Cool

“So,” I began. I had made up my mind to completely spill my guts out to Annabelle and get her perspective on the situation. The timing was perfect, and nothing could distract me, not even the tantalising shops that surrounded us.

“Isn’t it so nice when the guys have a sound check?” said Annabelle cheerfully, looking at our backdrop with heady enthusiasm, “we can just hang out, check out the city and have some girl time,”

“Yes, it’s lovely,” I agreed, unable to keep my mounting tension out of my voice,

“Someone’s tetchy!” said Annabelle, sounding surprised as she turned around and glanced at me reproachfully.

“Well, I’ve been getting steadily more and more stressed over the past 24 hours,” I answered by way of explanation,

Annabelle turned into the nearest boutique and away from the hubbub of the bustling people outside.

“Why have you been stressed?” she asked interestedly, starting to browse the first rail of clothes,

“Who is Jessica?” I cut right to the chase,

“Jessica who? Simpson? Alba? Rabbit...?” She looked up at me apologetically, which gave me the feeling that she knew exactly which Jessica I was referring to.

“Annabelle,” I sighed melancholically, “just tell me,”

“Honestly, I met the girl once,” she paused and turned to face me, her eyes honest and open, “it’s not like they were at the ‘introducing to friends’ stage”

I made a frantic hand gesture that told her not to stop talking.

“She’s nice...” she trailed off, and ran a hand through her hair, “that’s all I know, she’s quite pretty, and she’s nice. They’ve been on like two dates, why are you even asking about her?”

“She called last night,” I sighed in response, the words resounding more painfully in my ears as I said them out loud,
“Wait a minute,” Annabelle shook her head in confusion, “what? Why did she call?”

“I don’t know!” I snapped, tugging at the ends of my curls in frustration, “I didn’t exactly ask, did I!”

“Why were you even talking to her on the phone?”

The sales attendant gave us a dirty look which we both completely ignored.

“His phone rang and he wasn’t there so I answered,” I said simply,

“Why were you near his phone?” demanded Annabelle, with a shrewd glint in her eye,

“Because we were hanging out...he showed me some of his more recent art,” I said evasively,

“And?” Annabelle knew that there was more to the story,

“We almost kissed,” I confessed, my stomach swirling in exhilaration, “it’s the...third time that it’s happened maybe?”
“And why do you never kiss, why do you always almost kiss?”

I suppressed a giggle as I saw in my peripheral vision the sales attendant lean in a little closer, suddenly hooked by our conversation.

“Because Mikey always freaking interrupts!” I exclaimed, my voice taking on a higher pitch,

“Ah,” Annabelle looked distinctly unimpressed at the mention of her boyfriend, “well...that doesn’t surprise me, to be honest,”

I wanted to ask why it didn’t surprise her, but I also wanted to ask what she thought Gerard might do next and why she thought Jessica may have called, and my head exploded with the infinite questions.

“I just don’t know what to do,” I whined,

“I understand,” Annabelle laid a gentle hand on my arm, “but let’s face it, if you want him, just get him!”
“What do you mean?” I demanded, “I can’t just ‘get’ him, he isn’t a dress I can just decide to buy,”

Annabelle raised her eyebrows at me in the annoying way she always did when she thought she was right and I was wrong.

“You know you can have Gerard if you want him, it’s been three years, for crying out loud, and he’s still not over it!”
“And neither am I,” I abandoned all pretence, “but still, it’s complicated, I can’t just grab him and kiss him,”

“Why not?” she asked, shrugging, “if it’s nearly happened three times, then it’s clear you want it to happen, so why not just grab him and do it!”

“Because...it’s embarrassing!” I complained,

“Oh stop moaning!” she snapped back, yanking a pink silk number off of the rack with surprising ferocity, “at least you have a plan of action that might actually work!”

I was about to quickly counter her with a self-deprecating remark about how Gerard clearly liked Jessica more than me when her words actually sank in.

“Hey, wait a minute,” I said, pulling the dress she was holding out of her hands, “what do you need a plan of action for?”

“Nothing,” she said evasively, slinking out of the shop, earning herself another disapproving glance from the sales assistant in the process.

“Annabelle,” I said in my warning voice, and I knew that it was only a few minutes until she spilled,

“Ok fine, I might have a crush on someone,” she said, biting her lip,

“Bob?” I demanded,

She nodded silently, her eyes wide, “I think I’m totally falling in love with him,” she confessed, all in a rush.

“Wow,” I breathed, sitting down on a conveniently nearby bench.

“I know,” she sat next to me, “what can I do?”

“You’re out of love with Mikey?” I asked interestedly. The concept of it seemed alien to me. There had been a Mikey and Annabelle for longer than there had been a Connie and Gerard. I knew for myself how difficult it was to get over someone you’d been thinking about for so long. I hadn’t even managed it yet...

Annabelle didn’t look at me, and a light breeze lifted some of her hair from her pale neck. I knew it was serious; Annabelle was never one not to make eye contact normally.

“You know when you just do something out of habit?” her voice was quiet and pensive, but not upset, “I think that it’s just become that...like it slipped away from me without me realising it; and then I met Bob and it all just became clear...I want to be with him all the time, I want him to be mine, and I haven’t actually felt that about Mikey in the longest time...”

For a moment, all of the adverse emotions I had ever felt about Annabelle over the years flooded my head; the way she mistreated Mikey as a teenager, the way she destroyed Gerard and I, her infidelity and her stupid decisions. She had crushed him time and time again, and it looked like she was about to go and do it again. I thought of Mikey and what he was going to do and worry overwhelmed me so much that I forgot to breathe; the thought of Mikey hurt made me want to kill whoever was hurting him; but who was hurting him was my best friend.

Perhaps my internal struggle of emotions showed on my face, because Annabelle gripped my hand urgently and pleaded at me with her tear-filled eyes.

“You have to tell him,” I told her calmly, “you have to break up with him properly and tell him...don’t cheat on him again, Annabelle,”

She hung her head, “I won’t...” but there was something doubtful in the way her voice trailed off,

“Annabelle!” I said indignantly, “you’ve done that to him before with...” I paused out of the difficulty that making that statement caused, “his own brother, and you can’t go and do it again with his band mate!”

She nodded thoughtfully,

“And,” I continued, “After you break up with him you have to ask him if it’s ok for you to get with Bob...you can’t just do it,”

She nodded again, but I knew that the likelihood of her taking me seriously was slim.

‘How did everything get to be in such a mess?’ I asked myself, knowing that my worry over ‘Jessica’ was colouring my opinion on everything else.
“He’s going to be heartbroken, you know,” I said quietly, quietly resolving to be there for Mikey when Annabelle broke him completely,

To my surprise, Annabelle smiled wryly, “he won’t be,” she assured me, with an incongruous grin flitting across her features, “I know he has someone...else in mind,”

That was impossible.

“What?” I demanded, “There isn’t anyone else for him to like! Unless you’re suggesting he’s in the closet...”

Annabelle opened her mouth but seemed to think better of it, “you know what,” she said, “don’t worry about it. Let’s get back to the bus and try and sort out this Gerard-Jessica thing, shall we?”

She seemed upbeat and optimistic, but something told me that this particular situation could not be ‘sorted out’ so easily.