Breaking Hearts Still Looks Pretty Cool

Walking off the airplane and stepping onto Australian soil was like stepping into Heaven. Blinding white sunlight seemed to reflect off of every surface, giving the whole Sydney airport a celestial appearance. Then there was the heat; a comforting, summery warmth enveloped us, and there seemed to be no harsh breeze that brought goose bumps to my arms.

I slid my sunglasses on and gave thanks for the fact that I had had the foresight to wear shorts on the plane.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it,” said Frank, falling into step next to me,

“Yeah,” I agreed with a happy grin that was partly induced by Frank fiddling with his black jumper that he was clearly sweltering in.

“So what’s the plan Frankie?” I asked, “Do you have a super busy schedule?”

“Not for a day or so,” said Frank quietly, “we have a couple of days to chill at our hotel...which, by the way, is awesome,”

“I’m excited!” I enthused, bouncing a little on the balls of my toes,

“About what?” Ray joined us, making a content trio.

“Hello, being in Australia!” I exclaimed, “The sunshine! The heat! The awesome hotel!”

Ray grinned, “Man, I’m so tired; I’m looking forward to this break, even if it is only a couple of days,”

“Totally psyched,” agreed Frank,

“Oh God Frank,” Gerard joined the conversation and consequently my heart stopped, “no one says ‘psyched’ anymore!”

“Sorry” Frank pretended to flip his non-existent hair over his shoulder, “maybe I like that word,”

“Maybe you’re retarded,” Gerard countered quickly,
“Maybe you’re homosexual,” added Ray,

I tuned out of their conversation (if you can call hurling fake, sarcastic insults at one another a ‘conversation’) and sauntered over to Billie Joe, Tré and Mike, who were walking with Mikey. Bob and Annabelle were leading the way, chatting and laughing as loudly as ever.

“Hey Connie,” smiled Billie Joe,

“Hi guys,” I addressed everyone, “excited to be here?”
“Excited to have a break more like,” corrected Mike, flexing his fingers, “I feel like I haven’t gotten more than 4 hours sleep in months,”

“That’s because you haven’t, you idiot,” smirked Tré.

Their conversation didn’t interest me too much either, so I turned my attention to Mikey.

“I forgot how much of a sun worshipper you are,” smiled Mikey warmly, “do you remember that time in senior year when we skipped Physics so you could lie out on the field and try to get a tan?”

I giggled, “Yeah, how could I forget? That was an awesome year,”

“Probably the best of my life so far,” said Mikey fondly,

I smiled nostalgically,

“I mean,” he corrected himself quickly, “apart from this year since we’ve been signed, this has been a pretty good year too,”

“Ahh! Baggage!”

“What?” I asked, confused as to which direction we had to go in.

“This way C,” he smiled, placing a hand on my lower back, to guide me in the right direction.

I couldn’t decide if I was enjoying the car journey to the hotel a lot or a little. On one hand, I was constantly giggling due to the fact that I was wedged between Frank, Mikey and Ray, and I could look out of the open window at the sights of Sydney; on the other hand, it seemed totally alien to me not to be having heart palpitations and sweaty palms due to the presence of a certain someone.

“We’re here!” called Mikey’s excited voice, and I looked up with a jolt. I had been lost in a totally different world, thinking about Gerard. It seemed I could give myself heart palpitations all by myself.

“Oh,” I said softly. It took some heaving to get my suitcase out of the back of the car, and as a result, I dragged behind the rest. For some reason, they were standing close to the entrance which was flanked by a pool, apparently stopped in their tracks by something.

“Guys, what the hell is up?” I demanded, I was desperate to check in so we could dash out to the pool ourselves. Everyone, including the members of Green Day, was looking at a petite girl with straight, choppy blonde hair and a skinny figure, standing next to a suitcase with a slightly apprehensive look on her averagely pretty face.

“Jessica!” Gerard’s voice sounded surprised but not entirely displeased.

I felt sure that my jaw had just dropped to the ground itself, and I wanted to run up to her and tell her to get off my man, for Gerard had just walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug.

That simple gesture on his part was enough to bring tears into my eyes and hard as I tried to hold them back, they were completely threatening to overtake me.

Annabelle looked frantically towards me, and I knew she knew that I was about to cry.

“Let’s check in, shall we?” she said pointedly, “now?”

I looked up and my tear-blurred eyes met a pair of hazel eyes that for a split second I thought belonged to Gerard, but I was wrong, they were Frank’s. He looked full of concern and understanding for what I was feeling, and agreed vehemently with Annabelle.

“Totally,” he said urgently, “Let’s go in!”

I didn’t make it. We left Gerard and Jessica behind, only catching her words ‘I’m sorry to surprise you but I just thought that I’d come on the off chance you might want to see me’ and by the time we reached the checking in queue, I knew I had to go,

“Bathroom,” I called out urgently, before running off blindly, tears already pouring down my face.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Annabelle called behind me, catching up with me as I slowed and putting an arm around me.

“Don’t worry,” she said, guiding me carefully into the bathroom, which was mercifully clean and empty.

“How can I not worry! She’s come halfway across the world to see him,” I sobbed manically, “and he hugged her,”

“Oh no!” said Annabelle in mock shock, “he actually hugged her? Come on C, you know what Gerard’s like, he’s a nice guy, he’s not going to be openly horrible to her,”

I couldn’t shake the sinister feeling that was shooting through me, “No,” I disagreed, “he wouldn’t have hugged her if he didn’t like her,

“You’re being totally irrational,” Annabelle assured me, “but you do realise that you need to tell him, otherwise he will end up with her,”

“Tell him what?” I asked,

“That you’re in love with him,” Annabelle told me decisively.

“I’m not,” I denied by reflex,

The door flew open, making my heart stop once again in terror.

Frank practically ran in, and he seemed slightly out of breath. “Are you ok?” he demanded, striding over to me and placing a brotherly arm around my other shoulder.

“Yes,” I lied unconvincingly. The mascara tears covering my face were a dead giveaway.

“Is this about Gerard?” he asked tentatively “and...” he paused before saying her name, “Jessica,”

“Of course it is,” Annabelle answered for me, perhaps anticipating that I would deny it until the cows came home.

“Fuck,” muttered Frank, “I’m going to kill him! I could see it, I could see the attraction or chemistry or whatever the hell it is growing between you two and I didn’t think that much of it, but he can’t just...it’s so...” he couldn’t articulate himself, and sighed huffily instead, focusing on trying to make me feel better.

“You have to tell him C,” he advised in a rare serious moment.

“Tell him what?” I asked, not caring that I had just had the very same conversation with Annabelle,

“That you’re in love with him,”

“I’m not,” I whined, “I can’t be...”

Frank and Annabelle both bowed their heads, but Frank did not stop rubbing my back soothingly.

I bit my lip to make myself feel again, and then drew myself to my full height.

“Do I have mascara down my face?” I asked, and Annabelle pulled a wet wipe out of her bag to clean me off,

“All gone,” she said when she was done, but the worry for me lingered in her eyes.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go out?” Frank asked concernedly.

“Judging by the quality of this bathroom, the rest of the hotel is going to be pretty fucking amazing,” I made a valiant attempt at laughing, and plunged out of the bathroom with all the courage I could muster; I was going to need it