Thin Disguises

“Don’t let him do this to us!”

Scoffing, she brushes past him, searching the cabin for her stray clothes that never made it back to her room at Granny’s. She angrily stuffs the t-shirt she finds into a satchel resting on the unmade bed before trying to remember where those pair of heels where.

She makes to storm past him again, to head to the small bathroom entrapped in his medium sized captains quarters, but he snags her elbow with his good hand and whirls her around, nearly knocking her into his chest. She snarls at him and tries to rip away, but his hold is too strong. He leans close, till their noses are almost touching. Now she can clearly see the way his eyes are glimmering with what appear to be tears and she can feel how his fingers tremble just a little as he slides his grip down to her forearm.

Swallowing thickly, she wills herself to remember what Rumple told her—what this man before her did to initiate this war.

“If you think, even for a minute,” she starts, tone dangerous and full of venom. “that I’d ever be with a man who stole someone’s wife, someone’s mother, then you must not know me at all.”

“It wasn’t like that, Vivi. She came willingly,” he murmurs, voice hoarse with emotion.

“And that’s supposed to make up for it? It’s supposed to excuse the fact that a man had to tell his son that his mother was dead, when she was really sailing away on your ship?”

Tears of her own are building up in her eyes now, a mix of the anger rolling through her and the anguish at having fallen for such a bastard.

She yanks again and this time he lets her go. Stumbling back a little, she catches her balance just as he starts to try and steady her, earning another scowl as she wipes at her cheeks.

“I expect this is why you didn’t tell me in the beginning. You wanted to keep your bed partner for as long as possible, right? ‘Bout time to move on to another, isn’t it?”

“Goddamn it—it’s not like that! By now, after everything we’ve been through, you cannot tell me that you still think you were just a shag or two!”

“No, I wasn’t one or two, I was for as long as you could have me! Stuck in this town means no stupid girl to woo and make fall for those charms of yours, until I came along, the naïve little human!”

Killian sighs and hangs his head. She tries to ignore the streaks that are cutting a path down his face, tries to pretend that she doesn’t see how his body is sort of shaking as he doesn’t bother to wipe his eyes, tries to act like she doesn’t see this strong pirate—this strong man—falling apart right before her.

“Let me explain, Vivi. Please, just give me that,” he pleads, dragging his head up finally and meeting her watery gaze with his own.

A sob rips out of her mouth and she’s not sure if it’s because of the realization of his own feelings or a result of the fact that her resolve has completely cracked. Again, he starts for her, but she backs away, as if scared of him, and, once more, his face contorts into deeper pain.

She whirls around, burying her face in her hands as loud cries vibrate throughout the cabin. The sound of his boots are hidden under her weeping and when he wraps her up in his arms, it’s useless to try and pull away because she’s lost all the strength she’d built up on the drive over here. He cradles her against his chest, murmuring about how he was sorry and that he wanted to explain and for her to please not cry.

It’s only after a few minutes, when his lips have pushed kisses repeatedly onto her forehead and into her hair that she manages to drag in a deep, somewhat steadying breath.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she asks, pulling back. “You should’ve told me then. I had a right to know, Killian.”

“I was different then. My life was different then,” he murmurs. “I’ve done a lot of things that I hope you never know about.”

She shakes her head at that and gently extracts herself from his arms. Wiping at her cheeks with the palms of her shaking hands, she sniffles before shuffling back a few steps.

“I don’t want to be with someone who can’t admit when they were wrong... Especially when it comes to such terrible things. I can’t be with someone like that, Killian.”

Now peering up at him, she tries to ignore the way her heart seems to crumple at the thought of really leaving him. But lingering on the surface is the understanding that this man, the one who now looked completely broken as he stared hopelessly at her, wasn’t who he had claimed to be. He’d lied and tricked and flirted until he’d gotten his way with her, and now she just felt used.

Without another word, she turns on her heel, pausing at the edge of the wrinkled sheets to gather her things. He doesn’t say anything till she’s about to disappear out onto the deck.

“I’ll get Smee to drive you home,” he whispers, his voice sounding faraway.

She shakes her head, paused with her hand on the knob of the door.

“That’s alright. Dr. Whale is waiting for me.”

The door closes with a soft click after she disappears through the entryway.