Letters

I was driving toward Zoey's work. I was thinking about our relationship.

We had been great, we were together since a long time, now. She was my everything. She was the one.

She was beautiful, inside out. She had an amazing body, and an even more amazing personality. I loved what other called flaws, it only made me smile. She was my girl no one else's.

She had met my family, and was really close with my sister. They played to annoy me most of the time. Her family was great, too. She didn't have siblings, but her parents were cool.

I had another reason to believe she was the one: she was so close to my friend. It was almost like she was in the band. Austin was her best friend, since they met, and she considered every guy in the band as her brother, and they did the same.

When Zoey and Austin first met, I had been a little jealous over how close they were. But after some discussion,I agreed to let them. I knew I had always been the first for her, and that was all that mattered. She was really close from Austin because they shared their illness. She had a heart illness like Austin had, but hers was way less serious. It just stopped her from doing too much sport. She didn't liked talking about it, so I didn't asked too much questions.

But today, I was nervous to go see her.

For the past weeks, she was always out, and she would come back tired. When I asked her where she was, she always told me vaguely that she was with friends. I never asked more, I knew it would break my heart that she cheated. I acted like I didn't see it.

But I wanted to change it. I wanted to be enough for her, I was ready to change who I was for her. I could do everything for her.

So tonight, I was taking her to a great restaurant. I had planned everything with the restaurant: there would be roses, candles. Then I had decorated our apartment. Rose's petals on the floor, candles everywhere. A warm bath, with bubbles, just for her. I had everything planned. I needed this to be the best date she had ever had.

And that made me so nervous. I knew we could end tonight, if things went wrong. Maybe she preferred the other guy she was seeing? I hoped she didn't.

I had send her a text earlier, telling her we were going out, after her day of work.

I parked the car. I looked at myself through the mirror. It had take me at least half an hour to have my hair looking decent enough. I had put on black skinnies, but without holes, and a white shirt, with my best pair of black vans. I took a deep breath, and put my shades on. I looked at the flowers next to me.

I took them, then stood up, and walked to her work. I looked at the clock. I was ten minutes early. Maybe her boss would let her go now. I looked at the daisies in my hand. They were a mix between white, red and orange. I knew she loved those flowers. I walked to the hall of the building.

"Hello" I was greeted by a woman.

I smiled. "Can I see Miss Campbell?"

Her smile faded a little, and she looked confused.
"She asked Mr James if she could go out of work three hours early, and she said she would work those three hour another day. He agreed."

My smile faded. Her face seemed sorry for me.

"Oh... Well... I guess I'll... I'll wait for her at home."

She had a sad face as I walked away.

I threw the flowers in the car. I sat with a scream. Where was she? Was she with that guy?

I felt like someone had stabbed me. My vision was blurred. I threw my sunglasses away. I wiped away the wetness of my eyes with the back of my hand.

Maybe she's at home?...

I breathed deep, and started the car. I drove to our home.

When I arrived, her car wasn't here. I clenched my jaw, to avoid crying. I couldn't loose her. Not now, not like this.

I parked the car, took the flowers and walked in, unlocking the door. I was met by the petals and the candles. Right now, all I wanted was lighting them, then burn this house down.

I looked at the flowers.

She wasn't there.

Three hours. She could be anywhere by now. My back met the walk and slipped along it as I fell to the floor. I rested my arm on my knees, holding the flowers.

The door was still open, but I didn't care.

Maybe she just didn't have my text, and went to shopping, or something?...

I took out my phone, and called her. It didn't even ring, it went straight to the voice mail. Her phone was off.

Maybe she just didn't have battery....

I hadn't made a move, when half an hour later, I heard a car. Someone walked out of it, but I keep my eyes closed.

"Alan? What... What's all this?"

Zoey. I opened my eyes, and looked up at her. Her beauty was like a knife in my chest. She had choose someone else over me.

"I texted you" I simply said.

She looked at her feet "sorry my phone was off..." She took it anyway, and turned it on.

"It's too late now."

She frowned. "Too late?"

I stood up,throwing the flowers to her arms.

"Yeah it's fucking too late! Don't act like you don't know! You think I'm dumb enough to not see? You're always out! You're barely with me anymore, and you never tell me where you are! You really think I'm this stupid?" She stared at her feet. "But I wanted to just forget it, to not know, and just become the perfect boyfriend for you. I had planned a fucking great restaurant! And look at all this!" I yelled, pointing at the roses on the ground. "But no! No, you choose to stay with that guy. Three fucking hours, Zoey!"

"No, Alan, it's not...."

"It's not what, hm?"

"I'm sorry", she said.

" Sorry for what? Being fucked behind my back? Cheating on me? Go to hell, you whore!"

She stared at the floor, her jaw clenched.

"What the fuck did I done wrong? Was I that bad of a boyfriend?"

"No, it's just... When you're away on tour... I'm kinda alone..."

I stared at her. I hadn't been on tour since a month. I stared.

"On tour? But how long?..."

"8 or 9 months." She whispered.

My heart stopped.

"Go away." I said lowly.

"Alan, I'm really sorry" she said as she walked closer.

"GO THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

She turned around and walked out, still holding the flowers. I thew the door close, and kicked it with a scream. I kicked again. And again. I was crying.

She choose the other guy.

She was gone.

My body was shacking. I think I was crying.