Letters

At the end of the tour, the bus drove them back home. Everyone walked out, and Alan was the last one. A huge smile formed on his lips, as he saw Sandra and Katelynn. He also saw his mom and dad. He went to them, bus Sandra yelled to him to stop, and not come to them. He frowned and stopped, as everyone wondered what the fuck she was doing.

And slowly, she pulled Katelynn out of her arms, and pulled her on the ground, on her two feet. The baby was making sounds, knowing her daddy was just there. And Sandra let go of her hands, as the baby started walking to her father.

He instantly went on his knees, to be at her level, and opened her arms for her. She laughed and ran, throwing herself in his arms. He easily caught her, and hugged her close.

"That’s great! You’re the best! You just walked!!" He was so happy, and exited. He kissed her a hundred times, before smiling wide and turning to everyone around him, being so happy. He was almost hopping. Everyone laughed at him. He went to kiss his sister, his daughter still in his arms, as she started playing with his jacket. Then his dad, and finally his mom, who wrapped her arms around him. She stroked his hair, and kissed his forehead. "You can be proud." She told him, and he smiled wide to her.

"Look at me!" Sandra called, her phone up, to take a picture of them.

They did, and Sandra took the picture, instantly posting it with ‘3 generation hug’ since Alan was holding Katelynn.

"She can walk." He said again. It seemed crazy. She was already walking like an adult. He pulled her back on her feet, just to see her walk again. She did, glad to make her daddy happy. every time she was about to fall, he would catch her. After some paces, she just let herself fall to the ground knowing he would catch her, and he took her back into his arms.

"She can walk." He was on cloud nine. He saw Adam, talking with Sandra, and he went closer. "Can you take a pic of her? She walk!"

Adam laughed and took his camera, to shot some pictures. But he didn’t took pictures of her alone, he also captured the amazed smile of the father.

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Adam stayed with Alan a little longer. He wanted to get to know Katelynn, but soon understood that Alan wasn’t letting her go at all. She was in his arms most of the time. And now that she was walking, he was walking behind her, every time she agreed to walk.

She had him wrapped around her finger, and she could make him do whatever she wanted. That was why when he wasn’t there, Caroll, Eli, Sandra or whoever was with her were trying to be a lot more strict. They didn’t wanted the baby to grown on a wrong way, and become one of those kids who got whatever they want, and who are assholes. They couldn’t ask Alan to be that way. Alan was just adoring his daughter, and couldn’t be any other way with her. He hopped that day would never come.

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For Christmas, the two families wanted to be with Katelynn. So Alan decided that he would celebrate on the 24th with Zoey’s family, and the 25th with his own. He was searching for a present to buy to Zoey’s parents. He was driving to the mall, singing to the Christmas songs on the radio. From times to times, he was throwing a look at Katelynn, on the back sits. He was singing to the end of "Let it snow", when the song switched to another. He recognized it instantly. "All I want for Christmas is you."

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

He sang with Mariah Carey, not caring if his voice was wrong.

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you, yeah.

He remembered when Zoey was singing this the loudest possible, around Christmas time. She loved Christmas, and its magic. She always brought a lot of present for everyone, even for herself. But she was no longer there to celebrate it.

He had stopped listening to Mariah Carey’s voice, but some words caught his attention.

Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day

He felt tears starting to roll down his cheeks, and parked his car on the side of the road, unable to keep driving. He cried, his head against the steering wheel she was not here. She was gone. Forever. There would never be another Christmas with her. Katelynn would never celebrate Christmas with her mother. Her Christmas would never be like any other children’s one. He turned once again his head to the radio, as the singer kept singing, not caring about his feelings.

Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
And I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe

I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click

'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Baby, all I want for ---

"Daahaaaa!" Katelynn tried to say, from the back of the car. He turned his head to her. Her smile fell when she saw his face. She extended her small hands to him, trying to reach him.

He smiled to her, his tears rolling even more. He twirled himself, to unwrap her belt, on her baby seat, and took her in his arms. She instantly wrapped her arms around him, her head in his neck. He stroked her head, whispering calming words to her as much as to himself.

He was trying to even his breath, when he heard what Mariah Carey was singing.

Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need?
Won't you please bring my baby to me?

And his tears went back instantly. He wrapped himself around Katelynn. She was his savior.

He took a deep breath, and turned the radio off. He breathed in Katelynn’s sent, he was already more calm.

His breath finally evened, but he kept her against him. She was helping him to calm down.

"I love you, Kat" He whispered in her ginger curls.

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The day finally come, and he went to Carol’s. He had put on some nice clothes, and had put on Katelynn a Christmas suit Amanda had brought. He knocked on the door, holding Katelynn by her hand. She was standing next to him, and nothing could make him more proud. In her other hand, she was holding her stuffed. He had her bag with everything she needed for the night, plus the presents. He had brought a book of recipes to Sheryl, and a shirt of Leroy’s favorite football team. To Carol, he had chosen a tea service. He was pretty happy with the presents.

Carol opened the door, and he hugged her before she took Katelynn in her arms, and leading him inside.

He greeted Zoey’s parents, shaking their hands.

"How was last tour?" Sheryl politely asked.

Alan smiled. "Good, Sandra took Katelynn to one of the shows. It was awesome."

"A show’s not the place for a kid. It could damage her ears." Leroy grumbled.

"She had some earplugs to protect her, I’m not so irresponsible. I wouldn't hurt my daughter knowingly."

Leroy looked away, and Alan smiled, knowing he had won. Leroy already knew Alan was trying is best, but he couldn’t forget everything that happened. He was still hurting a lot after loosing his daughter. He needed someone to blame, even if it was mean.

They sat on a round table, in Carol's living room. Alan was sat between Katelynn and Sheryl, Carol was on the other side of Katelynn,and Leroy on the opposite, between Sheryl and Carol.

Katelynn was eating some puree Carol had previously prepared. The adults were eating beef with sauce that Carol had cooked all afternoon.

Most of the meal, Alan and Leroy avoided speaking to the other, but still participating to the discussion. Alan was the one who talked the less, because he was taking care of Katelynn, and always looking at her, and playing with her. while waiting for the desert, he took her on his lap, and stood there. He had his hands around her waist, to prevent her from falling, and she had her own on his face.

He laughed and she clapped her hands in answer. He sat up to kiss her forehead, and she smiled, wrapping her small arms around his neck, and hiding her face against his skin. She was doing that a lot, and Alan loved it. He stroked her hair, as Carol brought the plate of chocolate cake.

he sat Katelynn on his lap, and shared his slice with her. He talked a bit with the others, while cutting small bits with his spoon, to lead it to her mouth. She apparently loved it. She ate almost half of the slice, and compared to her small body, and appetite, it was a lot. However, Alan didn't cared. If eating his whole food was making her happy, he would give it to her without an hesitation.

once the meal was finished with, they went to the couches, and opened the presents. They seemed all really affected by the present Alan had gotten them. Especially Leroy. He wasn't expecting a present from Alan.

They all had presents for Katelynn, being toys, clothes or stuffed animals. She loved them all.

Alan was really surprised to see that they all brought him a present. Carol gave him a box of chocolate, that really seemed delicious, and Zoey's parents gave him an emergency charger for his phone. It was a battery to plug in the place of the charger. He smiled, an thanked them, knowing his phone was always out of power.

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The next day, with his parents and Sandra was pretty uneventful. It was making him happy to be with his family, and it made him feel a lot less alone.

On the new year, they only stayed between friends, and partied. It was a good night, but nothing more. Everyone kissed their other halves at the end of the count down, and Alan felt slightly alone, so he managed to find a girl, at the club they were partying, who felt as alone as him. It way be wrong, but it made him feel good, therefore the rest didn't mattered.

Then, there was tour, then coming home to Katelynn, and going back....

Until the truth exploded.