Letters

Now that the idea had formed into their minds, they were already working for the new album. Alan had showed them some of his songs, and they were all working on them. They weren't trying to make them sound like Of Mice And Men. They were just trying to make them sound good, and personal.

The 14th February, they had managed to have a day off. They all knew Alan wasn't able to play that day. He stayed silent most of the day, in his own world. No one tried to push him out of it, they knew he needed it. They all called their girls, apart of Austin, who didn't have a girl. He didn't had a girl when he was touring. Since Gielle, he hadn't been serious with a girl. It always was just for fun. Just not to feel alone. He would have loved being with Sandra, but he knew now wasn't the right time. Maybe in a few years, or maybe they just weren't made for each other. Anyway, it was okay with him. Being with girls just when he wanted to fuck was enough. He had too much scars of Zoey. He had never been in love with her, he had always knew she was off limits, and she would never look at him like she looked at Alan. He had never been in love with her, but he had been jealous. Not jealous of Alan for being with her, jealous of what they shared. Of how they couldn't hide it.

And she was his best friend. No matter what, she was one of the most important person of his whole life. He had wondered for a long time what he had done, and why every person that seemed close to him, disappeared. His mom, then Gielle, and Zoey. And when he had thought that Alan was going to end his life... He refused to lost another person.

Being with Sandra, having her close... He didn't know how Alan would react. What if he felt even more alone, as everyone was with somebody they loved? What if he felt useless, again? Alan needed him and Sandra by his side. He needed them to help him keep his head up. If they went together, they would left him a bit behind, since they would share a lot more together than with him. It was a normal thing, but he feared Alan wouldn't take it. And he wasn't going to test his friend. His love life wasn't as important as Alan's whole life.

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Austin had just called their manager, and he seemed to like the idea. But he wasn't sure if Rise Records, their record company, would agree. They probably wouldn't like to make an album so far from what they did, that they wouldn't sing live. But their manager promised he would try his best.

He still had talk with Rise Records, and see if they could be okay with that album. Alan needed it. And he could create an amazing album.

Since they really wanted it, they started working on it instantly. They started with an angry song, about Owen. It was close from Of Mice And Men usual song, but they all let Alan decide more than anyone else.

He was enjoying this work, and it motivated him to write more songs. He was all the time on his guitar. He had already three songs written, that they would change with the guys. One was the angry song they started to work on. Austin would sing, well scream, it. Aaron wouldn't even sing the chorus. The other was about loneliness. He still hadn't showed it to the guys. It was hard for him to open up to them that much. In this song there was a part on the grave, on the flower, and on the silence of the cemetery. But he needed to show it to them, because he knew this song would not be the worst one.

He showed to everyone the riff, on his electric guitar, and everyone cheered.

"And the lyrics?" Aaron asked.

"I...I still don't know."

He was a coward. He knew it. So he wrote down the lyrics. On his computer. Then he managed to have Aaron and Austin sitting down, and he showed them, feeling pretty nervous.

"They're great." Aaron smiled. Austin threw him a sad look but stayed silent.

"Do you really think? I mean... You'll be the ones singing it."

Aaron smiled. "You're an amazing song writer Alan. But I would like to hear them with the guitar, just to know better how to do it."

Alan nodded and took his guitar. He started to play, and just humed vaguely the lyrics to Aaron. Aaron knew Alan didn't liked his voice, and since they had already worked together, he had grown used to his way to work. Austin, listened, making occasional comments.

The song Alan had sowed him and made him feel guilty. The song was on Alan feeling alone. And even if he knew no one could replace Zoey to him, he wished he had been there for Alan more. That was Zoey's wish, and he regretted not to have done it more. The image kept coming back in his head. Every time he really saw how bad Alan had been hurt, and was still hurting, he was seeing that sight again in his head. It had traumatized him too much to forget it. Alan, laying down, in the bathroom, with blood everywhere. How could he forget that? He sighed. He needed to help Alan now, and stop thinking over and over about the past.

Then Alan worked on a song about Katelynn. It was hard but he was trying his best. The song was a really happy one, totally different from of Mice And Men's ones. So it was really hard to write it. He wanted it to be really happy, with no sadness, just happiness. He refused to talk about her birth. No, it was just about how great and amazing she was. That was all. Her name wasn't said, but it was still obvious who he was talking about. At the same time, he worked on another song, that was a huge 'thank you' to everyone who helped him. It felt really weird for him to write those songs, but once he had started, and had seen that the guys liked the songs, he couldn't stop. It felt like a deliverance. Like so much weight was taken off of his shoulders. Yes, he needed it. He really needed it.

Alan spend the 14th February into the back lounge concentrating on songs, not to think about what day it was. That was the day he started to create a really personal one. It was a story. it was the story of a small squirrel. He was running from tree to tree, never really stopping. And one day, he founded a tree he liked enough to stay on. He found a nice recess into it, and started living here. The small squirrel took care of the huge tree, because he loved living there.

But then, the winter came. And all the leaves fell off the tree. But the small ignorant squirrel, he wasn't worried. He thought it was just a normal thing, but he was a little sad.

And then, one day, the small squirrel woke up, earring horrible sounds, outside. He ran out of his nest, and contemplated the vision of horror. Down, on the ground, there was a huge form, and the huge form, it was hitting the tree. His tree.

Before he could understand what was going on, the tree fell backwards.

The squirrel had woken up too late.

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A few days after, their manager called them. They were all sitting in the back lounge, Austins phone on speakers.

"You all hear me?" Their manager asked.

They all said a "yeah", waiting for the news.

"I've talked with Rise." There was a tensed silence. "They aren't found of the idea."

Austin crushed, as Alan's head dropped.

"Maybe we can make them change their minds, We already have some parts written. It's gonna be awesome." Aaron argued.

"We can try, but honestly, I can't promise you anything. They told me that if there was another OMAM records, it would have to be another OMAM records. Not too different. not Alan's record. I'm really sorry."

"Shit!" Tino sighed. "Maybe we can make them change their minds."

"I hope so." the manager said. he obviously wasn't really optimist. But he understood that they wanted it, and honestly he thought it was a good idea.

The guys continued to write songs. Alan showed them the song about Katelynn, and they all loved it. they all loved Katelynn after all.

They were all working a lot to make the four songs they had the best possible. Soon, they let one of them on the side, because they couldn't make it work. They wanted to present a few song, that would have to be perfect to Rise Records. So the song about how the guys had helped him would be done later. For now they were concentrate on three songs.

The first was about Owen. It was a really heavy song. Austin was screaming through most of it. The break down, right after the second chorus, had to be one of the best Alan had ever wrote. It was really strong, heavy, powerful. The whole song was pretty hateful, but it represented what He felt when Owen did all of that shit. Alan knew he was still saying bullshit on internet, but he didn't cared, he was concentrated on the album.

The second was the one about Katelynn. It was just happy. Aaron was mostly singing, but Austin was too, but wasn't completely screaming. They had fun writing that song, and some parts were just funny. But that was exactly what it needed.

The last one, was slower, sadder. It was on acoustic, and Aaron sang the most. They did the same as in My understandings, with Aaron, or Shay in the elder song, singing, and Austin screaming behind. He wasn't screaming every words, just some to put emphasis on them. The song was sad, but really strong.

They were working on them, as much as they could, still being on a bus.

Around the lasts days of February, they went back home.

Alan stayed two days straight without seeing anyone else than his daughters. He didn't even walked out of his apartment. He didn't let go of Katelynn. He played with him, ate at the same time, she even slept with him, on his chest. As she fell asleep, he observed her. She had her thumb into her mouth, and her other arm was holding her stuffed. He stroked her ginger hair. She already looked like her. He had seen picture of Zoey at this age, and they had the same smile. Even if she had green eyes, like her mother, their shape was closer from his. And she obviously had his hair. He was so glad she looked like both of them.

It still felt like magic to him, how two people could create a third one. After all, he was average, Zoey was not, but she wasn't as outstanding as Katelynn. Katelynn was still a tinny little human, but she already was charming everyone. Everyone loved her. She had the exact same smile as her mom, the mos beautiful smile ever, to Alan's eyes.

With Katelynn right next to him, it felt like Zoey was still alive. As if she was living through their daughter.e wrapped his arms around her, and closed his eyes.

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When Alan was out of his apartment, two days later, the band reunited. They made one last rehearsal, and checked up every details of the tree recorded songs.

And then they headed to Rise Records.