Status: Rated R for potty langauge
Cowboy_63
Cowboy_63
Cowboy_63
By Cosmic Gerbil
Disclaimer: It's all fictional and I don't own Metallica. No harm or offence is meant to Metallica or any of their friends and families.
"Oh, oh, oh!" Lars whimpered, eyes locked on the computer monitor. Kirk glanced up from the horror book he was reading. Lars was on eBay, watching an item that he wanted very much.
"Nintendo Color TV Game" Kirk read out aloud. "What's that Lars?"
"A games console" said Lars, not taking his eyes off the monitor. "It's the first ever Nintendo console! It was released in Japan in 1977 and this version that I'm bidding on sold a million units".
Kirks' eyes roamed over the screen. The console's price stood at $139, with the highest bidder listed as Gauntlet_Expert_LU. The clock was ticking down, with just 2 minutes left to go.
"Hey, not long to wait until you've won it" said Kirk.
"If I do win!" Lars said anxiously. "Some stupid, cock sucking asshole keeps outbidding me!"
"Who is it?"
"I dunno! Some tit who calls himself Cowboy_63". Lars shrieked, causing Kirk to nearly fall of the settee. "Fuck! Shit, he's done it a-fucking-gain!" Grabbing the mouse, Lars clicked rapidly. "Well, he won't win it. That baby is MINE!"
"Calm down Larsie" said Kirk, picking up his book which had slid onto the floor. "If he wins, just bid on another one".
"I can't! The others all finish later and if I don't win this one, I won't get it in time for Christmas!"
"Ah, bummer, got you". Kirk put his book on the coffee table and watched as the clock continued to tick. A minute left. Lars' bid was now set at $150. Forty five seconds. Lars wiped his sweaty mouse hand on his jeans. Thirty seconds. Kirk got up off the settee and crouched down next to Lars. The little drummer's eyes were gleaming feverishly, his hands clenched with fear and excitement.
"I've wanted one of these since they came out" he said to Kirk.
"Will it play on your TV, if it's Japanese?" Kirk asked.
"Yeah, it should do" said Lars. "If it won't, I'll just hack the TV, re-mod the...OH NO!" Lars screamed and this time Kirk did fall over backwards. Scrambling to his feet, he saw that there were 15 seconds left and Cowboy_63 had placed a bid at $200.
"No you don't, assramming cockring!" Lars shouted. He pressed the mouse button and the screen froze as the refresh icon spun round. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, come ON, stupid piece of shit fucking Windows! Refresh my fucking page!"
The page finally refreshed and Lars stared at it, shoulders slumped in defeat. The winning bid stood at $200. Cowboy_63 had claimed the prize.
"Never mind Lars" said Kirk, hugging his friend. "It was probably a shit console that would have exploded and took out the whole power of San Francisco the minute you switched it on".
Christmas Day
"Happy Christmas Lars!" said Kirk. Lars beamed as his buddy handed him a large present, wrapped in sparkly purple paper with a lime green ribbon round it. "Hope you like it".
"Thanks Kirk" said Lars, tearing off the wrapper like a little kid. Myles accepted the wrapping and added it to his and Cali's wrapping paper tower, that stood next to their collection of expensive toys. Lars gave a yell of glee at the item within.
"A TV modulator to convert American TV signals to Japanese ones! Kirk, thanks! That'll save me having to mod my TV when I get my Color TV Game".
"No problem" smiled Kirk. "Glad you like it dude".
"Of course I do. There are dangerously high voltages inside a Cathode ray tube and more likely than not, I would have blown myself up trying to mod" said Lars. He placed the modulator down tenderly, next to his other gifts.
"Um and here's one off me and Fran" said James, thrusting a box into Lars' hands that was so neatly wrapped, Fran must have done it.
"Thanks guys" said Lars. James blushed and Fran smiled encouragingly. Lars began unwrapping and Miles crawled over, waiting for the next batch of paper. As Lars opened his gift, he suddenly realised what it was. His green eyes widened, his mouth fell open and he gasped loudly.
"A-a...it's a..."
"Tv Color thing from those guys who make the Mario games" said James.
"The Nintendo Colour TV Game!" Lars shrieked. "I've got one! For Christmas" He flung his arms round both James and Fran at once, hugging them tightly "Thanks millions guys!"
"We thought you'd like it dear" said Fran, smiling at Lars. "James spent ages searching for one on eBay to bid for you".
Lars gasped again. "eBay?"
"Yeah" said James. "Except some dummy called Gauntlet_Expert_LU kept trying to outbid me".
"That was me!" Lars exclaimed. "You were Cowboy_63! You outbid me!"
"Course I did. I wanted to win the game thingy for you for Christmas" chuckled James.
Kirk began giggling. "You shoulda heard the names Lars was calling you, every time you made a new bid".
"James was the same!" Jason piped up from where he was making an empty cardboard box castle for the kids. "Good job Fran was out at the time. The air was turning blue with his swearing".
"Cock sucking asshole" said Kirk.
"Stupid motherfucking idiot" said Jason.
"Assramming cockring".
"Braindead loser who was gonna get James' old exhauste he'd just replaced off his motorbike shoved up his ass".
"Boys!" Fran said warningly, pointing to the kids.
Kirk and Jason blushed and covered their mouths. Lars and James laughed.
"Come on Cowboy_63" Lars said, patting James' arm. "Let's load up and have a game of Pong!"
The End
By Cosmic Gerbil
Disclaimer: It's all fictional and I don't own Metallica. No harm or offence is meant to Metallica or any of their friends and families.
"Oh, oh, oh!" Lars whimpered, eyes locked on the computer monitor. Kirk glanced up from the horror book he was reading. Lars was on eBay, watching an item that he wanted very much.
"Nintendo Color TV Game" Kirk read out aloud. "What's that Lars?"
"A games console" said Lars, not taking his eyes off the monitor. "It's the first ever Nintendo console! It was released in Japan in 1977 and this version that I'm bidding on sold a million units".
Kirks' eyes roamed over the screen. The console's price stood at $139, with the highest bidder listed as Gauntlet_Expert_LU. The clock was ticking down, with just 2 minutes left to go.
"Hey, not long to wait until you've won it" said Kirk.
"If I do win!" Lars said anxiously. "Some stupid, cock sucking asshole keeps outbidding me!"
"Who is it?"
"I dunno! Some tit who calls himself Cowboy_63". Lars shrieked, causing Kirk to nearly fall of the settee. "Fuck! Shit, he's done it a-fucking-gain!" Grabbing the mouse, Lars clicked rapidly. "Well, he won't win it. That baby is MINE!"
"Calm down Larsie" said Kirk, picking up his book which had slid onto the floor. "If he wins, just bid on another one".
"I can't! The others all finish later and if I don't win this one, I won't get it in time for Christmas!"
"Ah, bummer, got you". Kirk put his book on the coffee table and watched as the clock continued to tick. A minute left. Lars' bid was now set at $150. Forty five seconds. Lars wiped his sweaty mouse hand on his jeans. Thirty seconds. Kirk got up off the settee and crouched down next to Lars. The little drummer's eyes were gleaming feverishly, his hands clenched with fear and excitement.
"I've wanted one of these since they came out" he said to Kirk.
"Will it play on your TV, if it's Japanese?" Kirk asked.
"Yeah, it should do" said Lars. "If it won't, I'll just hack the TV, re-mod the...OH NO!" Lars screamed and this time Kirk did fall over backwards. Scrambling to his feet, he saw that there were 15 seconds left and Cowboy_63 had placed a bid at $200.
"No you don't, assramming cockring!" Lars shouted. He pressed the mouse button and the screen froze as the refresh icon spun round. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, come ON, stupid piece of shit fucking Windows! Refresh my fucking page!"
The page finally refreshed and Lars stared at it, shoulders slumped in defeat. The winning bid stood at $200. Cowboy_63 had claimed the prize.
"Never mind Lars" said Kirk, hugging his friend. "It was probably a shit console that would have exploded and took out the whole power of San Francisco the minute you switched it on".
Christmas Day
"Happy Christmas Lars!" said Kirk. Lars beamed as his buddy handed him a large present, wrapped in sparkly purple paper with a lime green ribbon round it. "Hope you like it".
"Thanks Kirk" said Lars, tearing off the wrapper like a little kid. Myles accepted the wrapping and added it to his and Cali's wrapping paper tower, that stood next to their collection of expensive toys. Lars gave a yell of glee at the item within.
"A TV modulator to convert American TV signals to Japanese ones! Kirk, thanks! That'll save me having to mod my TV when I get my Color TV Game".
"No problem" smiled Kirk. "Glad you like it dude".
"Of course I do. There are dangerously high voltages inside a Cathode ray tube and more likely than not, I would have blown myself up trying to mod" said Lars. He placed the modulator down tenderly, next to his other gifts.
"Um and here's one off me and Fran" said James, thrusting a box into Lars' hands that was so neatly wrapped, Fran must have done it.
"Thanks guys" said Lars. James blushed and Fran smiled encouragingly. Lars began unwrapping and Miles crawled over, waiting for the next batch of paper. As Lars opened his gift, he suddenly realised what it was. His green eyes widened, his mouth fell open and he gasped loudly.
"A-a...it's a..."
"Tv Color thing from those guys who make the Mario games" said James.
"The Nintendo Colour TV Game!" Lars shrieked. "I've got one! For Christmas" He flung his arms round both James and Fran at once, hugging them tightly "Thanks millions guys!"
"We thought you'd like it dear" said Fran, smiling at Lars. "James spent ages searching for one on eBay to bid for you".
Lars gasped again. "eBay?"
"Yeah" said James. "Except some dummy called Gauntlet_Expert_LU kept trying to outbid me".
"That was me!" Lars exclaimed. "You were Cowboy_63! You outbid me!"
"Course I did. I wanted to win the game thingy for you for Christmas" chuckled James.
Kirk began giggling. "You shoulda heard the names Lars was calling you, every time you made a new bid".
"James was the same!" Jason piped up from where he was making an empty cardboard box castle for the kids. "Good job Fran was out at the time. The air was turning blue with his swearing".
"Cock sucking asshole" said Kirk.
"Stupid motherfucking idiot" said Jason.
"Assramming cockring".
"Braindead loser who was gonna get James' old exhauste he'd just replaced off his motorbike shoved up his ass".
"Boys!" Fran said warningly, pointing to the kids.
Kirk and Jason blushed and covered their mouths. Lars and James laughed.
"Come on Cowboy_63" Lars said, patting James' arm. "Let's load up and have a game of Pong!"
The End