The Island

I woke to the sound of a heated argument. After shaking Kyle's shoulder I ran towards the sound. Right there next to the forest Brian and Alec were yelling and pointing fingers at each other. Nobody knew what to do so we just stood there and watched as the fight escalated. Then Alec pushed Brian, and Brian pushed Alec back. Suddenly punches started flying and the next thing we knew Brian gave one last mighty push and sent Alec sprawling backwards. We stared as he fell and hit his temple on a big stone on the forest floor. Nobody moved as we waited for him, but after five minutes he still hadn’t stirred.

Finally I got my feet to move and I went over to him, Brian still standing there as if paralyzed. I felt his neck for a pulse but to no avail. He was dead. Brian had killed him. I turned and changed everything with one sentence “He’s dead.” I said. Every single pair of eyes on that beach turned to Brian then. He looked to Alec’s body, then to us, then back, and ran off into the forest at full speed. I started to go after him but someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back. It was Kyle of course. Everyone just stood there in shock. This wasn’t like the other deaths. Not bloody, or gory, or slow. It was so sudden. And it had come from Brian, our leader. The one we looked to for guidance, to bear our burdens and guilt. He had killed Alec, his best friend and then ran off. What had their argument been about? None of us could guess. The question that haunted me the most though, was it an accident? Or did he do it on purpose? I honestly had no idea and believed that it could have been either.

Cole was the first one to come back to his senses. “Alright everyone…” he began. What everyone? I thought Kyle, Me, Derek, Cole, Carrie, and Tiffany. That’s all that’s left of us now. “Let’s start digging another grave. I think he should be by Brittany.” Nobody argued with that so Cole, Derek, and Carrie started digging a grave while Kyle and Tiffany helped me move the body so I could clean it. I gently wiped the blood off of Alec’s face; he was starting to get cold now. It took three hours to dig the grave for him. I picked out a flower and we stood in silence and cried until we had no tears left. Derek and Cole began burying him while I lay down with Kyle on the beach. It was after dark now.

“Kyle? What’s going to happen to us?” I asked. “Do you think we’re all going to die?”
He looked at me then, with a look I’ll never forget. Kind of like the look the animals on those commercials have. Sad, helpless, and cornered with no chance of escape. “No, we’re not going to die.” he said. His voice had broken though, I knew it was only to comfort me, I don’t think he believed it.

“Don’t lie to me Kyle, I’m not six years old, I know that our chances of survival are minimal at best. We’re dying Kyle, one by one, we’re dwindling down. And there's nothing we can do to stop it. It’s the waiting that’s the worst part. Waiting for the next mistake, the next fight. Any one of us could be next.”

His looked turned fierce, his amber eyes burned in the dark. I had never seen that look before in anyone, much less him. “I will protect you, whatever it takes. I will keep you safe.” A tear slid down my cheek and he held me and somehow I could tell that he meant it. I laid there and looked at the stars again. A thought occurred to me then. “Kyle, what if we get back home? Nothing will ever be the same.” He didn’t answer, just laid there and slept. So I decided I would do the same.
When I woke up the sun was just rising. I stood and stretched as I felt a cool morning breeze on my face. Everyone else was still asleep so I went on a little walk through the forest. I grabbed a knife, an extra shirt, and headed off. About a quarter of a mile in I heard a rustling in the bushes to my left. I froze and held my breath. Then I heard a voice, a familiar voice, come from behind a bush. “Who is it?” it asked. I gasped and raised the knife, ready to strike if need be. Then a figure slowly emerged from the brush. It was Brian. He raised his hands in surrender and I lowered my knife. “Brian?” I asked “What the hell are you doing?” I was shocked. What was he playing at; didn’t he understand that he had killed someone? “Niki please let me say my side of the story.” He looked pleadingly at me and I couldn’t help but sit down when he did. He then launched into his story.

“Niki, I didn’t mean to do it. It was an accident. I didn’t mean to push him that hard, I didn’t think he’d fall over or anything. Honest. Before the fight I had been by the graves and he asked me what I was doing. So I told him that I was praying for them. Well I’m not sure why but he didn’t like that at all. He went on about how there was no God and how we were all going to die. He was scaring me so I told him to stop. Then he started yelling at me, saying I had to hear this. Next thing I know we’re both steaming mad and I pushed him and he died. I didn’t mean for it to go that far but I was so mad and scared.” He looked up at me as if begging me to understand, and I did. It was a mistake, an accident.

“Brian, they all think you're a murderer, you need to come back and explain yourself. We need a leader again or we’re going to fall apart fast.” After another 10 minutes of persuading and reasoning he finally agreed to come back.

When we got back to the beach the reaction was incredible. Derek was the first to react. “What’s he doing here? He killed Alec, get him out of here!” I was surprised, Derek had always been so calm and peaceful. What had happened to him? He ran towards Brian as if to attack him but I stepped in between them.

“No!” I said strongly. “He told me what happened. It was an accident. Let him explain himself.” Almost everyone was gathered around us now. Carrie and Kyle weren’t there yet. Cole walked up and stood with Derek, “No, he doesn’t deserve to tell his side of the story now move Niki or I’ll move you myself!” the ferocity of his voice startled me but I didn’t budge. He then reached towards me suddenly and grabbed my arms and started to pull me out of the way. I screamed and struggled “No! Don’t do this let him explain!” Then I let out and ear piercing scream that even Brittany would have said was loud. When he didn’t let me go I started to feel tears run down my face. They were going to hurt Brian, maybe even kill him, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I struggled and thrashed around but to no avail. How is Cole this strong? I thought. Then from behind me I heard a loud smack and I fell to the ground, gasping for air. When I looked up I saw Kyle standing in front of me protectively, his fist still held high in the air. I quickly stood up and regained my composure. Brian cowered behind me and
Kyle as we convinced the others to listen. We all sat in a circle on the sand and I hugged Kyle’s arm as I listened to the story for the second time. After the story was done Cole and Derek stood up and apologized to Brian. I fell asleep on the beach with my head on Kyle’s leg, exhausted from the morning’s events.

Kyle woke me up as the sun was setting. “Come on, we’re going to have another bonfire.” He took my hand and led me over to the fire. All of our faces glowed with the light of the flames. We decided that we were going to do truth or dare. Tiffany started and chose truth. We asked her if she liked anyone here. “Yeah” Was all she said. Carrie and I freaked out. We just couldn’t believe it! “Who is it?” we both asked at the same time. Tiffany just blushed and looked at Brian. Carrie and I looked at Brian and then at each other and smiled.

“Alright then” Cole said “Nikki, your turn. Truth or dare?” I chose truth of course. “Carrie, help me out with this one. What should we ask her?”

“Oh I know!” She exclaimed “Have you and Kyle kissed yet?” In response I laughed lightly and turned my head away in embarrassment. “Well is that a yes or a no?” Carrie insisted. I sighed in defeat

“Ugh, no. If you must know” I wasn’t expecting the reaction that followed. Looking around I saw everyone’s jaw dropped about to the ground. I thought they all knew that already. it was a small island after all. Also to my surprise Kyle just sat there like his normal self, perfectly calm. No reaction whatsoever. Then it was Brian’s turn, and because he didn’t want to look like a wimp he chose dare. And boy did we come up with a good one. “Brian, we dare you to kiss Tiffany.” Oh man, I’m never going to forget that look, like someone hit him in the face with a shovel. He really shouldn’t have been surprised, especially because Cole picked most of the dares. And Tiffany, oh Tiffany, even by the lowlight of the fire you could tell she was blushing bright red. Brian slid over right next to her and gave her a sweet peck on the cheek. We all booed and laughed. “Oh, not good enough for you?” He asked. This just made us laugh even more. I almost fell over and my cheeks hurt. That all stopped when Brian leaned over and kissed Tiffany full on the mouth for what had to have been at least 10 seconds. Now it was my turn for my jaw to drop. And now Tiffany looked like she had been hit with a shovel. Brian just grinned and went back to his spot.

Then it was Kyle's turn, to my surprise he chose dare. And Cole insisted that he alone choose the dare. We all agreed to that, why not? Cole dared him to list the girls from prettiest down. Well there were only three girls left so that limited his options. I wasn’t expecting to be first, I probably should have expected it but I didn’t. So it was mildly surprising when I was first, the Tiffany, and lastly Carrie. At first I was surprised that he put Tiffany before Carrie but then I realized he did it to save Tiffany’s pride. He obviously didn’t think she could handle being put last, and he was right. Still I couldn’t help but looking up at Kyle with surprise when he said my name first. After his turn was over I whispered in his ear so that only he could hear “Kyle? Why’d you say my name first?” He turned and looked into my eyes; his face was a couple inches from mine. Then he whispered to me “Because beauty isn’t measured just by the outside, but by what’s on the inside as well.” And he kissed my cheek gently. I blushed and laid my head on his shoulder. I fell asleep there by the fire with him.
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Nikki fell asleep on my shoulder shortly after my dare was done. Suddenly Carrie yelled over to Nikki “Girl! You awake?” She stirred but didn’t wake and I immediately shushed her, more loudly that I had intended. Everyone looked at me, saw Nikki, and smiled. “Keep it down guys…” Cole started “Nikki just got comfy.” That made them all roar with laughter.
“Shut up Cole.” I said jokingly “I’ll take her to bed guys, one minute.” That just made everyone laugh harder. Carrie was doubled over. Ignoring them, I scooped Nikki up and brought her to our usual spot on the beach. As I laid her down she stirred and her eyes drifted open “Kyle?” she asked. I smiled at her “I’m here. I’ll be right over at the fire.” As I started to get up she grabbed my hand “No, stay here. Please?”
“Alright” When I lay down next to her she wrapped her arms around mine and put her head by my shoulder. Within five minutes she was asleep again and for the first time in a while I thought maybe things would be okay.
For a while things were kind of normal. Tiffany and Brian were together now and never left each other’s sight. It was cute. I hadn’t seen Tiffany so happy since Brittany was alive. They would take walks through the woods, along the beach; pretty much anywhere they could go to be alone. And we could all guess what they did when that happened. I know it’s not fair to assume but still, it would be typical of Brian.
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I think it was a Monday when it happened. The afternoon had been completely normal and I was washing clothes when I heard it. About half an hour ago Brian and Tiffany had gone on one of their little walks through the woods. Then I heard a scream. A scream that was all too familiar by now. A scream of pain and fear that came from not too deep inside the forest. Five minutes late Tiffany came stumbling out of the forest supporting Brian on her shoulder. “Help!” she shrieked “Something bit his foot; it’s all red and huge!” Niki and the rest of our group came running over and she put on what I called her ‘medical face’. She immediately started asking questions. While she was doing that we laid Brian down and I got a good look at his foot. It was swollen, red and had two little bite marks on it with a mix of pus and blood seeping out. Derek turned green at the sight of it and walked away. He didn’t seem to care at all actually. Then I heard Niki “Snake bite, and by the looks of it poisonous. I don’t think there’s anything I can do. Do you remember what the snake looked like?”

Brian was the one to answer “Yeah, I think it was a coral snake. It had brown and black chunks on it with thin yellow stripes. We used to see them sometimes when my family on trips to Florida. I have no idea how one got here though.” I didn’t know how that could have happened either. It was simply strange. “Are they poisonous?” Tiffany asked. The look Niki gave her was answer enough but again Brian spoke. “Yes. In fact they have some of the strongest venom of all North American snakes.”

Nobody spoke then, we just hung our heads. I saw a few silent tears run down Tiffany’s face as she stared at the sand. Then she asked one last question “How long do you think you have?” His answer was quiet “A few hours, maybe six at best.”

I pulled Brian aside to the ‘hospital’ area and talked to him. “Do you need me to do anything? Are you comfortable here?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me down so he could whisper in my ear “Listen…” he said “If you ever get rescued, tell my family I love them. And could you bring Tiffany over here? I’ve always liked her.” I nodded and went to get her. She was sitting up against a tree crying into her hands. “Tiffany, Brian wants to see you.” She nodded, wiped under her eyes and walked over to him, quickly and quietly. I saw him hold her and with both of his as she wept. I couldn’t hear what he was saying but I already knew he was saying goodbye. He tried to send her away but she refused to leave his side. I decided to go over by Kyle and wait for the inevitable.

“Hey” he said “How are you holding up?”

“Fine I guess. It’s all so horrible Kyle, why are we all dying? It’s like Mother Nature is picking us off one by one. It seems life has no mercy.” As I said that I started to cry, slowly, one tear running down my face at a time. I couldn’t help it. Watching people I knew die, one at a time was so awful. And the suspense was the worst part. Never knowing who would be next, if I would be next. It killed me. No pun intended. Before Kyle could even respond I walked away. He wasn’t the right person to talk to right now. I went and sat in the ocean, wondering where my family was, whether or not they were looking for me. I was sure they were. I figured it had been about a month since the plane had crashed and the trip was only supposed to be a week so I was sure they had search parties out. If only they could find us. Then I lay down and stared at the dusk sky. The waves splashed over my legs and up my back. It felt good, relaxing. Then I heard a small splash as someone sat down next to me. I got up on my elbows and saw it was Carrie. “Sunbathing are we?” she said with a smile. I sat up all the way and took a good look at her. She was skinny, no not skinny, slim. That’s it, she was slim. We all were because of the island. Her hair was frizzy and very long, but still had its natural red tone to it. I had always been jealous of her hair, so long and pretty. I had cut mine short a few years ago. She often brought it up.

“Nikki,” she began “I want you to cut my hair for me.” I stared at her in shock.

“Why?” I asked. She had such nice long hair, why on earth would she want to cut it off? I didn’t understand.

“I just don’t like it anymore. It’s always in the way and it’s super hard to wash, especially on this hell hole of an island. Please just do it, for me?” Then she gave me that look, like abandoned puppy and I just couldn’t say no. “All right, but we don’t have and scissors, I’ll have to do it with a knife. And it’s going to hurt, a lot maybe.” She simply nodded and I pulled out my knife. “Well go on, turn around.” And she did. Then I started. I pulled the hair with my hand and drew the knife across it. She winced in discomfort but I continued to go until I had cut every last hair on her head as short as I dared.

During this she laughed “Hey Niki, remember when we watched Les Miserables in French class? This must be what Fantine felt like.” I smiled at the thought. I loved that movie and she knew it. Then she started singing “I Dreamed a Dream” and I couldn’t help but sing along; after all it was my favorite song from that movie. And it reminded me of home. It reminded me of sitting on the soft couch, eating buttery popcorn, and watching my mom cry for Fantine. God I missed my family, so much it hurt. I longed to hug my mom again, to listen to my dad talk politics, and to tackle my sister for the TV remote again. Anyway, enough of that, she ended up having a messy, jagged pixie cut but for being cut with a knife it wasn’t too bad. We didn’t have a mirror though so she couldn’t see what it looked like. Instead she just felt it for a few minutes. We sat together for a while and watched her beautiful red hair float further and further away into the sea.

A few hours later Brian started to fade. “Guys!” I yelled “Get over here, it’s happening.” Everyone came running over to Brian’s bedside. His breathing was shallow, his voice rasping. “Tiffany…” he began. She immediately grabbed his hand and tears welled up in her eyes. “Tiffany, I’ve always thought you’re amazing and I’m going to miss you so much. If you escape, tell my family I love them. And if for some reason you don’t survive, just know it will be okay because I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.” Then he smiled up and her, and she completely lost it. Using her spare hand she held her forehead as the tears spilled freely. I felt tears start to sting at the corners of my eyes. It was just too sad, too horrible. “Niki,” Brian rasped “I just want to thank you for helping our group stay together. It means so much to me.” Now I really started crying. Before he got another word out he started hyperventilating. His eyes rolled back in his head and eventually closed. Suddenly the breathing stopped and we all knew he was gone. “Brian?” It was Tiffany. “Brian! Oh God no! Please no, Brian! No! No this can’t be happening God no!” Her voice cracked and broke until the words turned into incoherent sobs. Derek put an arm around her as she cried. He whispered to us “Kyle, Cole, can you guys start digging a grave?” They nodded and left. Knowing I couldn’t help there I went with the boys. Carrie soon joined us as well. With the four of us it only took an hour to finish it but the ceremony was only 10 minutes long. We had had so many funerals by now that we had nothing left to say. Everyone just stayed quiet and we observed 10 minutes of silence for our friend. We were hardened, tough, and thick skinned after so many deaths. Funerals were a natural part of our lives now.

As we walked away from the grave Tiffany broke down. And I don’t mean she started crying, I mean she had a full blown emotional breakdown. She started ranting and raving “It’s not fair!” She screamed “It’s not fair! How could you do this? How dare you do this to me! Haven’t I lost enough people? I lost Brittany! I killed Vanessa! I lost Alec! Haven’t I suffered enough?” As for who she was talking to, I could only assume it was God. She ran around the beach, ripping her fingers through her hair and letting out screaming sobs until she found the knife. “Well fine then!” She shrieked “Since you hate me so much I guess I’ll just save you the trouble of killing me too! See you on the other side you bastard!” Then as I was running up to her she plunged the knife into her chest, right under her ribcage. I stopped about two feet away from her and our eyes met. “I’m sorry.” She whispered and she collapsed to the ground. The knife fell out of her and a pool of red soaked the sand. “Tiffany!” I ran and fell down next to her. When I fell my hand landed in the sticky red sand. I stared at it as I yelled, I was shaking violently. “Oh my God, Kyle! Kyle help me please!”

He came running over “Oh God Niki are you okay?” I nodded and he turned to Tiffany. After checking for any signs of life it was confirmed, she was dead. We didn’t have the energy to dig another grave, it just wasn’t possible. So instead we decided that we would lay her on the beach and cover her with sand. I laid a flower on her and walked away with Kyle. Behind us Derek was sobbing like crazy, but I knew I couldn’t help him, so we kept walking. “Kyle?” I asked “Promise me you’ll never do that. Promise me you’ll never leave me like that.”

He looked right at me “Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.” I smiled. He quoted Peter Pan, one of the most bittersweet stories a person could read. Then I realized it. It just hit me, though I should have figured it out a long time ago, he loved me. He really loved me. And I loved him. Strange, it seems so simple now that I think about it. But instead of confessing my feelings, I said something so lame I couldn’t believe it.

“How did you know I love Disney movies?” I internally face palmed myself. That was really dumb. And leave it to Kyle to have a perfect response.

“Well it takes one to know one.” He grinned and my jaw dropped.

“You like Disney movies?” I was shocked. Kyle never struck me as the Disney type.

His response was once again perfect. “I love Disney movies.” And he grinned even bigger. So we sat down and talked about Disney movies for the next hour. My favorite Disney princess had always been a three way tie between Jasmine, Pocahontas, and Mulan. That got me thinking “Who’s your favorite Disney princess?” Only after I said it did I remember that I was talking to a guy and we both burst out laughing. When we finally calmed down he actually answered me “My favorite is Cinderella. I could never put up with that family for so long.” We laughed again a little “Who’s yours?”

I thought about it for a moment and decided on one. “I guess if I had to choose one it would be Pocahontas.” He looked a little confused so I elaborated “It amazes me that she can look beyond race and love someone for who they are, not their skin color.” I looked up at him humbly and he seemed surprised. “What?” I asked.

“Well, that put my answer to shame…” I laughed and we kept talking about Disney for a while until it got dark. Then I lay down. My little sister loved Cinderella. We had watched that movie over and over again so many times that I thought I’d never want to see it again. Now I’d give anything to sit and listen to those little mice’s squeaky voices sing. I turned around and Kyle was already lying down on the sand. I put my head on his shoulder and thought about my family. I felt weird though, like I didn’t want to be around him at the moment. I walked around for a while as he fell asleep.

Nobody else was awake yet, except Derek. He was sitting by Alec’s grave, a single tear streak shined on his face. “Hey Derek.” I said, sitting down next to him. “How are you holding up?” He looked over at me slowly. “I’m fine I guess. It’s just… Well it’s hard. But I think I’ll be okay.” I thought about that for a minute and asked him what i had been dying to ask ever since Alec died. “Derek, what happened to you? You used to be so peaceful but when Alec died it was like you turned off a switch.” He looked at me hard then. For a very long time. I was starting to get worried. What could have been so bad? His answer floored me.

“Well…” He began “After Brittany died I felt so alone. Not even Tiffany was a comfort anymore. And… well… Alec was lonely too. He had liked her a lot and all…” Oh shit… They didn’t! I knew exactly where that was going. My jaw opened slightly and i beckoned for him to continue. “We started meeting up at night and going into the woods together. We always went late at night so you all wouldn’t notice. You can guess what we did. Two lonely 16 year olds alone in the woods.”

Understanding flooded my face and it must have been pretty apparent because Derek didn’t continue. I couldn’t help but ask “How many times?” For the first time in a while Derek grinned “About every couple days.” Now my jaw really dropped and he laughed quietly. Tons more questions went through my mind. “Was that your first time?” He shook his head and I was dumbfounded “You’re kidding!” He shook his head again, grinning like a wolf. I couldn’t believe it. Innocent, gay little Derek losing it before he was even an adult! It was hilarious. We laughed together for a few minutes until he suddenly became serious. “You won’t tell the others will you?” He had a mixed looking of pleading and what looked like guilt on his face. I didn’t hesitate to respond “No, I won’t. I promise.” He breathed a sigh of relief and I went back to lay down by Kyle on the beach again.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes as I woke up. To my surprise I saw my dad’s house on the beach.
“Dad?” I mumbled. I walked slowly over to the front door, still half asleep. The knob turned easily.

‘That’s strange’ I thought ‘He always locks the door.’ When I walked into the foyer I turner the light on and went up the stairs.

When I got to the top I noticed something strange, there was no picture of me on the desk. There was a desk with vases on it and my picture had been there for over a year. Now it was gone. I ran downstairs and found that my middle school picture wasn’t on the mantle above the fireplace anymore. ‘What’s going on?’ I wondered. I jumped when the front door opened. It was my dad. He put his work bag on the kitchen counter and walked downstairs. “Dad? Dad it’s me. I’m back!”

Ignoring me he continued into his bedroom and pulled a box out from under his bed. When he took the lid off of it I gasped. It held all the pictures of me. He had taken them down, why?
Just then the front door opened again. In came my mom, grandma, and little sister. ‘What’s going on? My dad has never really gotten along with my mom’s side of the family.’ My mom walked up to my dad, who was now sitting by the box crying, holding a picture of me in his hand, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Earl,” She began “It’s been a year since the accident. She’s not coming back.” She was crying now too. ‘The accident… Oh my God! The plane crash!’ They thought I was dead. My little sister Casey found my 9th grade picture and hugged it, tears running down her face. “Niki, I miss Niki. I love her, I want her!” I started crying and reached out to her “It’s okay Casey, I’m here. I’m alive.”
But my hand passed right through her shoulder. ‘No, No!’ I thought. I began to panic and cry. “Mom! Dad! Casey! Grammy! I’m here! I’m alive!” None of them budged an inch. ‘They can’t hear me.’ I realized. I waved my hand in front of my grandma’s face. ‘They can’t see me or feel me either.’

Then the scene changed. Nobody moved but we were in a different place. A graveyard. As they wept I moved to read the tombstone. ‘Here lies Niki Rose Adams, beloved daughter and sister. Gone too soon, claimed by nature.’

“No, no!” I screamed. Walking down the row of stones I saw all of my friends. Tiffany, Cole, Brian, all the others. Even Devin. Then I saw Kyle’s grave. I fell to the ground but instead of landing I continued to fall until I landed in a giant hole. I was standing in my grave. I screamed and fell on my back hard.
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Niki woke up with a jolt, panting and looking around frantically. I sat up slowly “Niki are you alright?” She looked at me with crazed, tear filled eyes. “Kyle, oh thank God you’re alive!” Then she explained to me about her dream. “Don’t worry, that won’t happen. It’ll be fine, we’ll be rescued.” I hugged her and pet her hair until she calmed down. She didn’t seem to believe me, and I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t believe it myself. But it was all I could do.

It was supposed to be getting light out by now but it was cloudy. I saw lightning in the distance and soon after felt the clap of thunder, a little too close for comfort. Sure enough 10 minutes later the wind picked up to an incredible speed and rain poured down on us. Everyone was wide awake now. I grabbed Niki and we ran as far into the woods as we could get and lay flat on the ground in a sort of ditch area. I hadn’t seen what happened to the others. The storm only lasted for half an hour and we went back to the beach. There we found Carrie frantic and running around in the surf. “Derek ran into the water and Cole went out after him and he got hit!”

“Got hit? What do you mean he got-” I stopped in my tracks when I saw Cole’s body. His clothes were shredded and black in some places. They seemed to melt into his skin. The lightning must have hit him in his upper back. The skin around that area was charred black on the edges with muscle exposed. Blood and pus seeped out in tiny dots. In one spot I thought I saw some bone. Other patches of his skin were red and shiny, some had blisters on it. Yet others still seemed untouched, though abnormally pale. It was obvious by his stillness that he was dead but I couldn’t process it. It hadn’t sunk in yet. “Where’s Derek?”

Carrie answered solemnly “He got swept out to sea by the waves. I remember him telling me he can’t swim very well. He’s gone.” We all looked out to the still restless water. Even a great swimmer would have died. I walked back over to Cole’s body. Niki was shaking so badly I could see it from a distance.

I looked over at Carrie. She had just seen Cole. “Oh God!” she whispered. I heard her gagging and finally she ran a few steps and vomited violently. I didn’t look at her, I was sure she was embarrassed enough already. Instead I walked over to Niki and held her shaking hand. But then I looked down at Cole one last time and it finally sank in. ‘That’s my best friend.’ I thought ‘That charred, bloody corpse is my best friend of five years.’

We all helped move Cole into the water and pushed him off into the waves. We all thought it was kinder to send him off rather than let his family see him like that. Assuming we ever get rescued that is. When I lay down to sleep that night memories of Cole and me flashed through my mind. A stream of pictures one after the other rushing through my head relentlessly. There were no breaks and I couldn’t make them stop, though I tried. I tried so hard but they kept coming. I wanted to scratch my eyes out, tear the skin away from my face in hope that they would stop but I knew that wouldn’t work. Eventually I curled up into a ball and cried for I don’t know how many hours. Niki came up behind me and hugged me as I slept.