Cruel Nature
Cruel Nature
I finally get home from tour for a week, and the first thing I hear when I come in the door is “Ringo’s ear’s infected. You have to end it.”
Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Ringo’s one of the kid’s pet rats. And I know what you’re thinking, but rats are actually good pets for kids. They’ll totally just hang out on your shoulder like, you know, a bird that doesn’t scream all the time.
“Why do I have to end it?” I ask Adrienne, dumping my bags on the floor of the kitchen and sliding onto a stool pulled up to the island. “It’s an ear infection. Can’t you get meds or something?”
“For a rat?” she says sitting across from me at the island.
“Uh huh,’ I nod. She sighs.
“I looked into it, and its eighty dollars for the medication,” she says, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. I love it when she does that. It’s just so… yeah. I’ve been away from her for a while. I chuckle.
“So?”
“Eighty dollars is too much for a rat. And I also asked about euthanasia, and they won’t do them on rats,” she says, propping her chin on her fist.
“So what am I supposed to do?” I say, yawning and cracking my jaw.
“I don’t really care, nor do I want to know what you do, just please do it before the boys get out of school,” she smiles, reaching over the island and kissing my nose.
“Uhh, okay,” I say, glancing at the clock as she slinks out of the room. 1:57. I’ve got forty-five minutes.
I snake my way up the spiral stairs that lead upstairs to the boy’s rooms. These damn stairs always make my stomach flip since I can’t avoid looking down. But they were the clincher for us buying the house. Apparently spiral stairs were something Adie had always wanted. I guess they’re cool, but I could really do without having my stomach drop to my feet every time I have to go upstairs. The rats’ cage is on a little table scooted up against the wall between the boys’ rooms.
“Long time no see,” I greet them. The non-infected one, John, is flipping around in the wheel.
“Hey sugar,” I say. She’s always been “mine”, as she always runs to the side when I come over. Oh yeah, I said “she”. A female named John. Yeah, jokes on her. “Where’s your infect-y brother?”
She noses the glass before waddling back to the wheel and going at it again. I don’t see him, so I push off the cage top and pull the wooden house my brother David built for them. Ringo drowsily pokes his head out of the door hole. I try and lure him out by wiggling my fingers seductively. Well, seductively for a rat. Okay, that’s weird. Anyway, he hobbles out onto my hand and I take a look. Yeah, his ear’s really nasty. All puss-y and stuff. I’m sure it hurts bad, so I feel for him.
“Okay, lets do this,” I mumble, plopping him on my shoulder and heading out to the back yard.
I sit down on the patio and let him run around in the grass. Adie pokes her head out of the back door.
“Have you-“
I interrupt her. “No.”
“Okay,” she says, pulling her head back in and closing the door. Okay, so how am I supposed to do this? He’s just a little rat. He doesn’t know any better.
“Adie!” I call. Her head juts back out the door.
“What?”
“How am I supposed to do this? I’ve never killed anything before.”
“I know. But you,” she points to me. “Man.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that,” I grumble. “Why do men have to kill things?”
“Just do it, okay?” she says, kissing my forehead and closing the door behind her.
“You suck!” I yell back at the house.
“Only if you kill that rat!” I hear her yell from inside the house. God I love that woman.
I pick up Ringo and study him, trying to figure out if I were a rat, how I would want to die. I figure that I wouldn’t, since being a rat would be pretty fucking awesome.
“I’m going to pick up the boys!” Adrienne calls from the front room window, and I hear her start the car and drive out the drive way.
“Okay,” I mumble. I plop Ringo back into the grass and stare at him for a good while.
I yawn again, my jaw cracking even louder this time. I feel like I haven’t slept in years. Seriously, sharing a room with Tre can get old really fast. And I mean really fast. The only good thing about it is that he sleeps really deeply, so you can do things to him. Like, dragging him into the bathtub and turning the cold water on. Not that I’ve ever done that or anything... but the idea is good.
I hear the car pulling back into the driveway, and I shake myself out of my thoughts of drowning Tre. Oh shit. I glance around the grass and see Ringo is half way across the yard, heading for the back fence. There’s a little garden thing that Adie and Jakob planted for a science project a while ago, and it’s a little overgrown. A light bulb goes off as I hear the car doors slam and the chatter of my boys as they clamor in the door to see me. I have to move fast.
“Come on,” I mumble to Ringo, scooping him up and jogging to the edge of the garden. I set him on the ground and push him into the garden.
“Go, go,” I whisper, pushing him farther in with a stick. “Be free.”
“Daddy!”
My youngest yells from the door. Jakob and Joey push each other out of the way to get through the door, but they both don’t fit and get stuck half way through.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I laugh, heading back towards the house and as I step up onto the patio, all I can think is,
“God I hope the cat doesn’t bring him back in.”
Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Ringo’s one of the kid’s pet rats. And I know what you’re thinking, but rats are actually good pets for kids. They’ll totally just hang out on your shoulder like, you know, a bird that doesn’t scream all the time.
“Why do I have to end it?” I ask Adrienne, dumping my bags on the floor of the kitchen and sliding onto a stool pulled up to the island. “It’s an ear infection. Can’t you get meds or something?”
“For a rat?” she says sitting across from me at the island.
“Uh huh,’ I nod. She sighs.
“I looked into it, and its eighty dollars for the medication,” she says, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. I love it when she does that. It’s just so… yeah. I’ve been away from her for a while. I chuckle.
“So?”
“Eighty dollars is too much for a rat. And I also asked about euthanasia, and they won’t do them on rats,” she says, propping her chin on her fist.
“So what am I supposed to do?” I say, yawning and cracking my jaw.
“I don’t really care, nor do I want to know what you do, just please do it before the boys get out of school,” she smiles, reaching over the island and kissing my nose.
“Uhh, okay,” I say, glancing at the clock as she slinks out of the room. 1:57. I’ve got forty-five minutes.
I snake my way up the spiral stairs that lead upstairs to the boy’s rooms. These damn stairs always make my stomach flip since I can’t avoid looking down. But they were the clincher for us buying the house. Apparently spiral stairs were something Adie had always wanted. I guess they’re cool, but I could really do without having my stomach drop to my feet every time I have to go upstairs. The rats’ cage is on a little table scooted up against the wall between the boys’ rooms.
“Long time no see,” I greet them. The non-infected one, John, is flipping around in the wheel.
“Hey sugar,” I say. She’s always been “mine”, as she always runs to the side when I come over. Oh yeah, I said “she”. A female named John. Yeah, jokes on her. “Where’s your infect-y brother?”
She noses the glass before waddling back to the wheel and going at it again. I don’t see him, so I push off the cage top and pull the wooden house my brother David built for them. Ringo drowsily pokes his head out of the door hole. I try and lure him out by wiggling my fingers seductively. Well, seductively for a rat. Okay, that’s weird. Anyway, he hobbles out onto my hand and I take a look. Yeah, his ear’s really nasty. All puss-y and stuff. I’m sure it hurts bad, so I feel for him.
“Okay, lets do this,” I mumble, plopping him on my shoulder and heading out to the back yard.
I sit down on the patio and let him run around in the grass. Adie pokes her head out of the back door.
“Have you-“
I interrupt her. “No.”
“Okay,” she says, pulling her head back in and closing the door. Okay, so how am I supposed to do this? He’s just a little rat. He doesn’t know any better.
“Adie!” I call. Her head juts back out the door.
“What?”
“How am I supposed to do this? I’ve never killed anything before.”
“I know. But you,” she points to me. “Man.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that,” I grumble. “Why do men have to kill things?”
“Just do it, okay?” she says, kissing my forehead and closing the door behind her.
“You suck!” I yell back at the house.
“Only if you kill that rat!” I hear her yell from inside the house. God I love that woman.
I pick up Ringo and study him, trying to figure out if I were a rat, how I would want to die. I figure that I wouldn’t, since being a rat would be pretty fucking awesome.
“I’m going to pick up the boys!” Adrienne calls from the front room window, and I hear her start the car and drive out the drive way.
“Okay,” I mumble. I plop Ringo back into the grass and stare at him for a good while.
I yawn again, my jaw cracking even louder this time. I feel like I haven’t slept in years. Seriously, sharing a room with Tre can get old really fast. And I mean really fast. The only good thing about it is that he sleeps really deeply, so you can do things to him. Like, dragging him into the bathtub and turning the cold water on. Not that I’ve ever done that or anything... but the idea is good.
I hear the car pulling back into the driveway, and I shake myself out of my thoughts of drowning Tre. Oh shit. I glance around the grass and see Ringo is half way across the yard, heading for the back fence. There’s a little garden thing that Adie and Jakob planted for a science project a while ago, and it’s a little overgrown. A light bulb goes off as I hear the car doors slam and the chatter of my boys as they clamor in the door to see me. I have to move fast.
“Come on,” I mumble to Ringo, scooping him up and jogging to the edge of the garden. I set him on the ground and push him into the garden.
“Go, go,” I whisper, pushing him farther in with a stick. “Be free.”
“Daddy!”
My youngest yells from the door. Jakob and Joey push each other out of the way to get through the door, but they both don’t fit and get stuck half way through.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I laugh, heading back towards the house and as I step up onto the patio, all I can think is,
“God I hope the cat doesn’t bring him back in.”