Lullabies

Ashely's house is a mansion. A castle if we are comparing it to my house. It sits on the beach. A beautiful view of the ocean every day. The perfect home really. You can hardly see sky in my neighborhood with all the damn trees surrounding the houses. So yeah, I have reason to be jealous. 

Her house is four stories. Complete with four bathrooms. Six bedrooms, two kitchens, rec. room, basement, attic and a huge living room. Just about every bedroom has a balcony. I have been to her house on multiple occasions for the sleep overs and slumber parties that seem to be a customary part if being a cheerleader and I typically just go out of kindness. 

I park in front of her massive house and take just a few moments to look up at it in awe before climbing out and looking at how the house was vibrating with the loud music. Straight away I recognized a Ramones song and shamelessly sung it on the walk up to the front door.
A few people stood in the front yard with beer bottles chatting until I walked up. It got real quiet. I ignored them and proceeded to sing. Walking in through the open front door Ito Ashley's foyer. 

I waved at Marcy as I walked towards the kitchen where Ashley stood talking with Jane and Jade. Chloe no where to be seen, probably outside somewhere trying to convince a cat to climb down out of a tree while the entire neighborhood and fire department stand around watching anxiously while biting their nails. Yeah that's actually a pretty real scenario. 
I leaned against the counter when a beer was slid out in front of me. Jade's bright eyes encouraging me to drink it.

“C'mon Kirsten. Your such a goody two shoes!” she laughed. Slapping my arm.

“Am not!” I shout back, picking up the bottle to prove my point and down half of the bitter crap without a second thought. I waited until they looked away to wince. I don't want to drink too much of it because I do have to go home to my family eventually. Not drunk though. That's not an option. I actually found a slight liking for the drink though so I found no harm in finishing the bottle. My parents are rich so they are not too concerned about wastefulness. So I'm not sure exactly who instilled that into me to save everything I could. Jack maybe?

I shrug invisibly and finish up the remainder of the bottle and cracked open another unconsciously.

Fifteen minutes later the buzz was beginning to make it way to my head. A numbing feeling taking over as I giggled over all my drunken friend's stupid jokes that oddly sounded funnier while intoxicated. I laughed with them until they all silenced at once and was focusing on something over my shoulder.

“Whoa, Armstrong showed up after all.” Ashley says in disbelief I toss a quick look over my shoulder and my eyes latch onto his unnaturally blond hair like a magnet. It was him. Mike and Tré trailed him in the big front doors while his arm was laced in with that of Erica Paleno. 
I dropped my gaze.

“I hear he can hold his alcohol well. Sounds like a fun person to play some drinking games with.” Marcy absentmindedly purrs.

I roll my eyes and excuse myself to the bathroom. For every reason except to actually use it. Here I am. Buzzed already after a couple beers and already freaking out in the bathroom. I clutched the edge of the granite counter and began to dig through my bag and reapply the makeup that I had done only a half hour earlier. Everything about me changes when I am nervous. Though the alcohol in my blood is cooling the effect a little bit, I still know that I get my nervous tendencies from my mother. She would make herself sick from being so nervous. She said she had blown five dates prior to meeting my dad because she always said the wrong things or stuttered too much when she spoke or was too quiet.

I shoved everything back into my bag. Took a deep breath and exited the bathroom and avoided the foyer at all costs. Heading out the porch doors and into the crowded back yard where more music played loudly. I walked around merely admiring the garden around the house to calm myself. Getting myself to concentrate very closely to the color of every blossom on the plants. Telling myslef to calm down. He is just a stupid boy who already has a girlfriend. He has never looked my way since the day of the kindergarten incident and nothing has made me sadder. Course I've never minded being unnoticed before. But it seemed to bother me that we had never spoken or anything since then. I had never even spoke. To the guy actually. I don't even know what his voice sounds like...

I turn around abruptly to head inside of the house and I bump into someone. Splashing what otherwise would have been a nice little margarita, all over a red blouse. The girl was fairly tall. Deep sea green eyes and shoulder length black hair that signaled she was from a punk origin also.

“Watch it loser!” she shouts at me and I can't find my voice to apologize or anything. And before I even can, someone appears behind her, that familiar blond hair hanging in his eyes. As they rake over my face in a hostile expression. He puts his arm around Erica and led her away without a second glance. Ok so we had some kind of awkward socialization with each other... Not good enough. I puff a gust of frustrated air and head back inside. Sitting on one of the nice couches in the living room for a nice portion of the remainder of the night. It was about six and with views like this, I was determined to see the sunset. I went and found Ashley and asked her which balcony was best to watch it from. She told me it was the one that branched from the music room upstairs. I nodded once and focused on her instructions while climbing the elegant stairs to the upper floor.

I find the door at the end of the darkening hall fairly easy and slowly push it open. The west wall is all glass. Casting orange and yellow streaks across the instruments inhabiting  the room.

A grand piano is situated in the middle of it all. I brush my fingers along the keys in a light sound. There is also a harp, multiple guitars, basses violens and all of those instruments hanging on the wall though this music seems sheerly relaxational and not for earbleeding punk music I listen too. Like the Ramones and all of that. I'll never be the perfect punk in any of those weirdos downstairs eyes. Just that rich cheerleader girl...

I walk out onto the patio. Three stories above the ground. The ocean out beyond me in beautiful patterns swirling in the sunset colored surf. I take a deep breath and can smell the deep briny salt smell. I close my eyes and imagine living like this every day. Waking up and going to sleep every day to this light. That would be amazing I think. I stretch my arms out at my sides like I'd actually take flight. The wind is much Stronger up here but  not enough to knock me off. It flaps the fabric of my mothers priceless dress and my hair lashes out in a blond flame behind me and I am utterly happy. 

I watched until the orange light faded away then I drifted back downstairs to join the party. Still feeling quite deflated. Though I don't know why. I mean it's not like I came to this party to be noticed. I came for the sheer factor of having fun.

I was hanging out in the living room when someone came up beside me.

“Hey isn't that Amelia Joan's dress?” he asked. I looked up to meet that poof of blond hair. Of course I had heard of Amelia Joan before. She was a punk style kind of musician who started out in Rodeo a couple years ago. Briefly hit it big before dying in a car accident.

I shrug “I don't know. Is it?” I laugh nervously as his eyes raked over the dress. He smiled and nodded and I exhaled in relief.

“Yep. I believe she wore it to her first awards ceremony before her death. It's a real shame you know, she was good. Would have had no trouble in the main stream.” he said thoughtfully. Leaning back against a pillar and taking a drink of beer. I nodded. Somewhat amazed that I was wearing her dress.

“So how'd you come to own it?” he asked curiously.

“Uh my mom is a dress collector and she had this one.” I explained.

He smirked “So mommy just let you take her priceless dress just like that?”

“No.” I sighed. Running my hand through my hair a few times “I sorta borrowed it without her acknowledgment.” I say.

He laughed “So not all you cheerleaders are little miss goody two shoes?”

“Guess not.” I mumbled when I say Erica approaching us. Billies arms encased her and they walked away just like that. I sighed again and walked away. What a stupid conversation. Over a damn priceless dress I stole from my moms collection? Wow thats gonna be something to tell our kids... I laugh out loud to my private joke because I know it can never happen. 

I finished another drink. Which calmed my nerves some more. Making me feel slightly normal for once. I heard Jade call to me to come outside because they were playing some kind of game before she dashed out herself. I walked through the crowded backyard. Trying to find the source of excitement when I noticed Jade's familiar long black hair with dark green streaks tied up in a loose bun above the crowd and made my way towards that landmark.

“What are we doing?” I ask her. Yelling over the music.

“We are having a dart fight!” she squealed excitedly before arming me with a dart gun. I held it up to admire how real it looked. Someone had painted over the orange safety of the end to make it that much more real. I shrugged as she handed me a round of foam darts to arm myself with while someone counted down from five. I pictured the numbers in my head.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1...
And siege opened all around me.

I dove into the shade of a bush and just hid there while drunken yells proceeded behind me. The slosh of water signaled that people were getting shoved into the water and the dart fight had become a lot more. I smirk as I stand from my spot and instantly get hit with a bullet. I turn to see where it had come from. Billie chuckled evilly down by the fence. I growled and tore off after him. Chasing him around the yard. I slipped a few times on the water wet tiles surrounding the pool before I had him cornered and slowly sauntered forward. Extended my gun and pulled the trigger.

Bang!... 

Victory was much louder then I'd expected. But still I grin as the foam dart hit his forehead and bounced off into the grass. Pain spread all throughout me though. Which was odd, I wasn't the one who got shot. I have had dart wars with Jack before and I know they don't hurt this bad. Billies expression dropped sickly. And he wrinkled his nose in disgust. I looked down, feeling light headed like I was going to pass out and saw the crimson stain spreading quickly across the peach fabric. I dropped to my knees and Billie lunged forward and caught my head. Pulling me down so I was laying down while he called out to his friends for help around the yard. People quickly gathers around while the dress turned a sickly shade of red. Leaking onto the tile In a small puddle around me. I close my eyes tightly to cease the pain.

“Keep your eyes open!” he ordered. Mike knelt beside me and gripped my left hand while I rested my head in Billie lap. Watching my tunnel vision and the crimson pool spreading wider and wider. Tré and Erica trying to tie a bed sheet around my waist where the wound was to stop the bleeding. I was focusing on not panicing. Focusing on my breaths. In. Out. In. Out. In...

Out.