Status: Pg-13 for mild swearing
Eggs
Eggs
Eggs
By Cosmic Gerbil
Disclaimer: It's all fictional and I don't own Metallica. No harm or offence is meant to Metallica or any of their friends and families.
It was a bright sunny morning when Lars strolled into the kitchen, wondering what to have for breakfast. He could smell something cooking already and he sniffed the air as he pushed open the kitchen door.
Kirk was standing by the cooker, wearing a plaid dressing gown and poking at something in a saucepan. He turned round when he heard Lars approach and beamed.
“Morning Lars!”
“Morning Kirk” said Lars, returning the smile and trotting over to his buddy. “Sleep well?”
“Yeah, thanks. You?”
“Hahah, yeah, apart from the cat waking me up at 3:30 for a fuss”.
“Ah, terrible cat!” Kirk yawned. “Ahhh, still not properly awake yet. I just can’t function until I’ve had my coffee”.
“Agreed Kirky, coffee is always good. Say, what are you cooking?” Lars peeped at the saucepan and screwed up his nose.
“Yuck! Boiled eggs!”
“Yuck? You like eggs” said Kirk.
“I like them cooked properly” Lars corrected. “Scrambled!”
“Scrambled eggs are gross” said Kirk. “They taste weird”.
“They are delicious! Boiled eggs taste like week-old socks”.
“Heheheh!” Kirk giggled. “Since when have you been eating old socks to know what they taste like?”
“I mean they taste how I imagine old socks to taste” said Lars.
“I like them” said Kirk, poking an egg lovingly with his spoon. “Nearly done now”.
“You like socks?”
“No! Boiled eggs, silly”.
“Gross, yuck and ugh!” said Lars, wrinkling his nose again. “Scrambled all the way”.
“Scrambled eggs suck!” Kirk insisted. You get half your egg stuck in the saucepan and it takes ages to wash it all out afterwards”.
“Well, boiled eggs are hard to peel” said Lars. “The shell goes all flaky and just comes off in tiny bits. It takes ages to open them to eat”.
“You only have to take the top off, not the whole shell”.
“Yeah and then sometimes, bits of shell fall inside the top of your egg”.
Just then, the kitchen door opened again and James entered the room, dressed in a white t-shirt and his boxers. His blonde hair was all rumpled up and his eyes sticky with sleep. “Morning guys” he yawned, slouching over to the fridge. “How’s it going?”
“Ha, James! You can help us settle our argument” said Lars at once.
“Huh?” said James. “What argument? It’s too early in the day to argue”.
“Well, not an argument really” said Kirk. “More of a discussion”.
James took out a carton of juice from the fridge and drank from it. “OK, go ahead then. What’s it about?”
“Lars says boiled eggs suck and scrambled are the best” Kirk explained. “But I think it’s the other way round”.
“Yeah so what do you reckon?” Lars asked. “Boiled or scrambled?”
“Eggs?” said James. He put the carton down and grinned. “Ha, you guys know that they come outta chickens’ asses, right?”
“JAMES!” yelled Kirk and Lars in unison as James fled, giggling.
The End
By Cosmic Gerbil
Disclaimer: It's all fictional and I don't own Metallica. No harm or offence is meant to Metallica or any of their friends and families.
It was a bright sunny morning when Lars strolled into the kitchen, wondering what to have for breakfast. He could smell something cooking already and he sniffed the air as he pushed open the kitchen door.
Kirk was standing by the cooker, wearing a plaid dressing gown and poking at something in a saucepan. He turned round when he heard Lars approach and beamed.
“Morning Lars!”
“Morning Kirk” said Lars, returning the smile and trotting over to his buddy. “Sleep well?”
“Yeah, thanks. You?”
“Hahah, yeah, apart from the cat waking me up at 3:30 for a fuss”.
“Ah, terrible cat!” Kirk yawned. “Ahhh, still not properly awake yet. I just can’t function until I’ve had my coffee”.
“Agreed Kirky, coffee is always good. Say, what are you cooking?” Lars peeped at the saucepan and screwed up his nose.
“Yuck! Boiled eggs!”
“Yuck? You like eggs” said Kirk.
“I like them cooked properly” Lars corrected. “Scrambled!”
“Scrambled eggs are gross” said Kirk. “They taste weird”.
“They are delicious! Boiled eggs taste like week-old socks”.
“Heheheh!” Kirk giggled. “Since when have you been eating old socks to know what they taste like?”
“I mean they taste how I imagine old socks to taste” said Lars.
“I like them” said Kirk, poking an egg lovingly with his spoon. “Nearly done now”.
“You like socks?”
“No! Boiled eggs, silly”.
“Gross, yuck and ugh!” said Lars, wrinkling his nose again. “Scrambled all the way”.
“Scrambled eggs suck!” Kirk insisted. You get half your egg stuck in the saucepan and it takes ages to wash it all out afterwards”.
“Well, boiled eggs are hard to peel” said Lars. “The shell goes all flaky and just comes off in tiny bits. It takes ages to open them to eat”.
“You only have to take the top off, not the whole shell”.
“Yeah and then sometimes, bits of shell fall inside the top of your egg”.
Just then, the kitchen door opened again and James entered the room, dressed in a white t-shirt and his boxers. His blonde hair was all rumpled up and his eyes sticky with sleep. “Morning guys” he yawned, slouching over to the fridge. “How’s it going?”
“Ha, James! You can help us settle our argument” said Lars at once.
“Huh?” said James. “What argument? It’s too early in the day to argue”.
“Well, not an argument really” said Kirk. “More of a discussion”.
James took out a carton of juice from the fridge and drank from it. “OK, go ahead then. What’s it about?”
“Lars says boiled eggs suck and scrambled are the best” Kirk explained. “But I think it’s the other way round”.
“Yeah so what do you reckon?” Lars asked. “Boiled or scrambled?”
“Eggs?” said James. He put the carton down and grinned. “Ha, you guys know that they come outta chickens’ asses, right?”
“JAMES!” yelled Kirk and Lars in unison as James fled, giggling.
The End