Let My Love Open the Door to Your Heart

I wake up and see Mike is on the bed playing with his bikes.

"Hey baby," I said.
"Hey. I'm hungry."

I go over to the table and grab the gram crackers and he came and grabs it and start eating. I get up and grab my clothes and go in the shower and get dress before going out.

"Let's get you in the shower," I said.
"I want to eat breakfast with Tay-Tay and Spiny," He said.
"How about Uncle Jade and Aunt Whitney."
"But?"
"We go to lunch or dinner with them ok?"
"Ok."

I kiss his head and get him in the shower and dress. I do my hair and makeup and grab my phone and call Jade.

"Hey," he said.
"We are ready to go," I told him.
"We are about ready to go. Ken should come."
"Ok."

I hang up then call Ken.

"Hey," Ken said.
"Hey what are you doing?"
"I was working out. I promise Aldon that I wouldn't slack off while I'm here."
"When do you fly out?"
"Four."
"So be there by one. I take you to the airport."
"I don't want Mike in the car that long."
"I leave him with Jade or the Dally's."
"Who?"
"Spencer from last night."
"Ok. What you doing for breakfast?"
"Eating with Jade and Whitney. You are invited."
"Ok I come in five minutes."
"Sound good. Bye."
"Bye."

I hang up and text Jade it's five minutes then ask Taylor and Spencer if they can watch Mike after lunch and if we can grab dinner then put my phone in my pocket and start looking at the room.

"When do we go home?" Mike asks.
"Tomorrow."
"Ok."

I smile at him then get my bag an make sure it's all packed for the day and go out and see Ken coming with his stuff. We go downstairs and see Jade and Whitney downstairs.

"Hey," I said.
"Hey."

I hug Jade tight and he kisses the top of my head.

"Hey," He said.
"Hey. How was it after I left?"
"It was interesting. Got Fun after Mom and dad left. I talked to Dad about his ideas and think I'm changing them."
"Am I doing the right giving them time to breath?"
"You know that they will understand better that they hurt you if they see you cry or hear it."

I nod my head and Jade looks at Ken and smiles at him.

"How are you holding up?" He asks.
"Ok. I expected what I got,” Ken said

Jade nod his head and we go to the truck and Ken throws everything in. I get in the front and start driving to the bakery. We get to a table and sit down. We talk about what we want then Jade goes over and order it. Whitney taps my hand making me look at her and smiles at her.

"He's a good man," Whitney said.

I look and see Ken is at the counter looking at the cookies with Mike.

"Yeah. He is," I said.
"Are you going to listen to your parents?" She asks.
"No. I'm not sure if I love him but I only know I love my family. I can't see a life where he isn't there beside me."
"Ok. That's good."
"Why?"
"Because since you were like 12 there was a cloud over your head. Mike got rid of the storm his sperm dormer cause but the cloud was there still. He got it taken away. He also got you to have more of a back bone. Making you better is important."
"Thanks."
"Plus you guys look so good together. That helps."

I laugh and see Jade goes over to Ken.

"How dose Jade feel about him?" I ask.
"Jade loves him. He will be behind this in less Ken hurts you badly. He stand up to it stronger then Ryan has. He knew something change when you went to Daytona. He put the dots and figured it has to be Ken to make you happy again and that he's a great guy."
"Thanks."
"No problem. You do need to talk to your parents today. Let them see you cry and how Ken deals with it."
"Ok."
"So why dose marriage freaks you out?"
"I don't know it has for a while. Putting Ken as a groom it been worse."
"You think it's because marriage means more kids and sex?"

I look at her since I never thought it about that.

"I never thought about it like that," I said.
"Because you want to focus on love that comes with marriage but down there marriage has routs to fears you have."

I sigh and nod my head. Ken looks at me and I smile at him.

"I can see myself marrying Ken," I said.
"That's good."

I smile and Mike came over to me.

"Can I have a doughnut?" He asks.
"Yeah," I said.

He runs over to Jade and pull him to the register. Ken came and sits down.

"You are so good with him," Whitney told him.
"Thank you," Ken said.

Whitney touches his hand making him look her in the eye.

"Don't be so guarded with us. We like you guys together and will help the other family members to get that," She said.
"Both of you?" Ken asks.
"Yes. Like Ryan and Lindsay."
"Ryan doesn't always like it."
"He has to get over his big brother feelings. It will take time. He's also hurt that you didn't ask him first when you started this but he won't say anything."
"He wouldn't let me start anything."
"Why?"
"We are too young. I wasn't settled yet. I might be his rebound,” I listed off the reasons Ryan came me why it was a bad idea.
"All valid reasons but Ryan will talk to her and let her do what she wants. It's his polite way to do it,” Whitney said.
"Thanks,” Ken said.

Jade came over and sit down. My phone rings making me look at it and see it's some number. I hit accept and hear it's the jail telling me the person on the list to let me know they are relase is being released. I set my phone down trying to keep my body form shaking. Ken pulls me in to his side.

"Who was that?" Ken asks.
"The Jail. He's getting released," I said.

Jade looks at me.

"Are you going to hide for the rest of the day?" Jade asks.
"I need a place to stay," I said.
"Dally," He said.

I nod my head knowing they will let me stay. A worker came and set the food down and they smile at Mike.

"He's so cute Jade," The girl said.
"Not my kid," Jade said.
"Is he Ryan’s? He looks so much like Ryan."
"Mine," I said.

The girl looks at me and nods her head.

"Oh hi Jezebel. Love the your natural blond," She said.

I nod my head and she walks away.

"That was odd," Whitney said.
"Not really," Jade and I said.
"Because of what happen they treat her like that?"
"Or like she is charity and he's evil," Ken said.

Whiney touch my hand.

"I see why you don't want to live her," She said.
"Beside the snow?" I ask.
"Yes."

I nod my head and eat with them. I drive them to the hotel then call Spencer.

"Hey," He said.
"Hey. I got some news and really don’t' want to stay in a hotel tonight. Would you two mind if we stay with you?" I ask
"Taylor want a slumber party with Jezebel before she leaves?" Spencer yells away from the phone.

I smile a little as they talk.

"You can stay over. We will go shopping and talk," Taylor said.
"Thanks," I said.
"No problem. Mike can stay with Spencer and they have boys’ day. When dose Ken leave?"
"He got to be there at one today."
"Oh we don’t' get to see him interact with you."
"We can get lunch together before I take him and you guys take Mike."
"Yes. We got lunch plans Spencer," Taylor said.
"I need to talk to my parent bye."
"Bye."

I hang up and Ken looks at me.

"They are the few people I like here," I said.
"I get it."
"When I moved in with Blake, I spent a lot of time over there but that might be I was one of the only friends she had that went though pregnancy and had a kid. She was there when I was pregnant and watched Mike when I went to school. Let me do her hair and make up while I learn too."
"I understand that they are important to you. You don’t have to explain."

I smile and go to the room and clean up my and Mikes room. Mike went with Ken to get our bags in the car while I checked out. I go over and hit the button because no one is there. The worker came out and he looks at up and I see its Copper my ex-boyfriend making me sigh not wanting to deal with him.

"Hello Jezebel," He said.
"hey I want to check out," I said.

I gave him the room keys and then my credit card.

"You’re leaving a day early," he said.
"Yeah I am."
"I won't charge you for that."
"Ok."

He starts typing on his computer.

"So how have you been?" He asks.
"Good."
"That's good. When did you come back?"
"I came from my brother's wedding," I said.
"Right Ryan got married yesterday."

I nod my head. Mike came up and I pick him up and kiss his head.

"Are we going to Grandpa's and Grandma's?" Mike said.
"Yeah we got some toys there to get," I said.
"Ok."
"Want to call them about us coming over?"
"Yeah."

I grab my phone and call the home number and hand it to him. I look and see Ken is here.

"That's your son?" Copper asks.
"Yeha. Are you done yet?" I asks.
"Almost. I need to see your Id."

I grab it and hand it to him. He goes over to the copier. Ken kisses my forehead.

"We are going to your parents again?" He asks.
"I need Mike’s bikes form their house I left there."
"Ok."
"Try to talk to them a little."
"That's good. Talking is important."

I nod my head and Copper came and hand me my credit card and Id and then hand me a packet of papers and I sign it and grab my copy.

"Are you leaving tonight?" Copper asks.
"Good bye Copper" I said.
"Hey I want to get like coffee and talk to you."
"Why?"
"I was 16 when we broke up. I grew up and want to see you again."

I hand Ken Mike and lean up towards copper.

"I won't ever date a boy you thought me being raped is me cheating on you. Get over me. I got over you and with a man now,” I said quietly so Mike doesn’t hear.

I go over and Mike hands me my phone.

"Grandpa said it's fine if we come," Mike said.
"Ok."

We walk to the truck and I start driving home.

"Who was that?" Ken asks.
"My ex-boyfriend," I said.
"He wants you back."
"Don't want his idiot butt back."
"I didn't think you did. He made a mistake and I gain from it."

I laugh and shake my head.

"Is this going to turn out any better?" Ken asks.
"Most likely not," I said.
"Ok."

I park at my parents’ house and get out and get Mike out.

"Pack up your toys and only play with two bikes ok?"
"Ok."

We walk up to the door and my mom opens the door. I put Mike down and he runs to the living room. I walk to the dining room fallowing my mom.

"So Ken why didn't you come to the wedding?" Tory said.
"I didn't think it was appropriate that I came," Ken said.
"Your teammates with Ryan."
"His brother and parents don't like me and don't want to ruin his wedding."

My dad looks at me.

"Why are you here?" He asks.
"Do you know that you not believing me hurts me?" I ask.
"Princess,"
"A lot of what you said for the past three years hurt me. Like how when a year after Mike the only thing you talked to me about was trying to push me in to riding again."

My dad looks at my mom who is looking at her coffee.

"That' not true," He said.
"It was about that or why Mike couldn't sleep through the night," My mom said.
"That wasn't right he was a year and wasn't sleeping through the night."
"He was sick a lot of the time Tory."

My dad looks at me a little then at Ken.

"Have you seen pictures from before she was pregnant?" He asks Ken.
"Adam shown me some so has Lindsay," Ken said.
"You like her as a blond?"
"Yes."
"How do you describe her at that age?"
"She was angry. The dark make up and the hair. She was trying to be tough maybe even different."

My mom looks at him.

"Do you want to marry Her?" My mom asks.
"In the future that is what I want," Ken said.
"But not now?"
"I'm not ready to get married now and she isn't either. She can't talk to you about it without freaking out."

My mom looks at me then at Ken.

"So the band is off?" My mom asks.
"I'm hurt mom. I needed to pick up Mike's toys. My dad doesn't believe I was raped and my mom doesn’t think I'm a good mother. I think that hurts more than dad. I know I was raped but I constant wonder if I'm a good mother and when it came out that you think I'm a bad one it made me really question it and you seem to not even think about what it could do to me when you bring it up but know you’re not spouse to say it is why you never said it before."
"Do you really constant wonder if you’re a good mother? You never take anyone's advice."
"I'm stubborn mom and I spent almost a year without anyone's help besides books. I have to work to support us and you seem to think it's a mistake that I'm giving him to a day care program when that's all I can do to make us work."
"We can help you if you were here. You can live with Ryan."
"And be helpless still?"
"Is Lindsay helpless?"
"Lindsay is going to get a job soon. She will be looking when she's back. She also has Ryan to feed and he pays for the food. I got Mike to feed and myself."
"Family can help you."
"She's an adult and wants to be one," Ken said.
"Like you know what it means to be one you still live with your dad."
"It's been almost a month since he hasn’t lived with me."

My dad looks at me little and shakes his head.

"You and your family are fighting doesn’t mean that you need to make hers fight," My dad said.
“My dad and Me are getting better and I hurt him. This isn't about me. I'm just the easy target."
"If you were out we wouldn't fight."
"If I wasn't here you still be trying to get her to come to live here and still think she's a bad mother and wasn’t' raped. This isn’t' about me. You are hurt that she didn't tell you about me but seen how you treat me I see why she didn't want to tell you while we were force to be around each other because my dad wouldn't let you talk about me the way you have been and that's not what we want at a race happening."

I grab Ken's arm to pull him back from my dad since they gotten closer. Ken looks at me and shakes his head and takes a couple steps back.

"You guys said you would give him a chance yesterday. What happen to those ideas?" I ask.
"You freaked out on marriage."
"Yeah because that means more children made a little different and what if how I feel about Mike changes? That scared me every day and then marriage and Children means sex and the only experience I had is horrible and I know it's not going to be like that but what if that’s all I can think about or what if that really how it is. Those scare me not who I'm going to be married. Right now I can tell you it's going to be Ken. He treats me well. He likes things I like and he treats Mike super well and he loves Mike. I don't want you want in a son-in law that isn't that. We not going to get married today it might be in 5 years but we will be married. He loves me and I love him. I wish you guys can understand that getting married is a little more about love to me and it freaks me out and cause me to have a panic attack yesterday and push me in to that."

I whip my eyes feeling the tears. I sigh and look at my parents.

"Do you get it?" I ask.
"Why didn't you just tell us? My dad said.
"I was going to like a day or two later. It was a hard to make since last time I saw you is when you wanted me to date Jeremy Martin who is with one of Lindsay's bridesmaids."

My mom looks at him.

"I told you to leave that alone," She said.
"They are better than him. They respect us."
"How has Ken not respected you?" I ask.
"He just dated you not talk it over with us at all or your brothers."
"Why does it matter if we just dating? He asks Ryan's permission to be my boyfriend. That should count for something."
"He should have asked me. I'm your father."
"He is dating me. I'm the only person he needs to ask. Copper didn't ask you at all and you loved him for me."
"Copper was a respectful boy."

I look at him trying to see how Ken isn't since he seems respectful then look at Ken and remember Lindsay saying he didn't always care about who saw him naked.

"Is this about something before we got together?" I ask.
"He wasn't respectful."
"He isn't rude and is really great with me. He’s a gentleman with me shouldn’t' that all that matters."
"He just kicked his father to the curb."

I glare at my dad upset with him about that.

"This has to do more that you feel that he's to young to take care of his career since you didn’t let Ryan do it till this year and he's failing now he has to go to Aldon Baker because that is the only way he can get things out of his head with Villa betting him so much and it reinforce it when Ken took the title over him this year. You think about Ryan before you think about the other boys and I'm after Jade and Blake."
"You gave up a career that you were doing great in."
"Women don't even race on Saturdays anymore. I gave up a dying sport because I still needed another job to support myself and son!"

Mike came in and he looks at me and I know he heard my yelling making me feel bad. Mike came to me and I pick him up and hold him to my chest tight.

"Why you yell? Did I do something?" Mike asks.
"No. I'm angry with Grandpa and Grandma and using my words to tell them what is upsetting me," I said.
"So when you’re angry with me will you yell at me?"
"I might. I try not to."

He looks at me and I kiss his head.

"You ready for lunch with Tay-Tay?" I ask.
"Yeah. My bikes are all packed up."
"Ok say by to grandpa and grandma."

I put him down and he hugs my mom and dad then takes Ken out. I look at my parents and see my mom looking at me.

"He’s three, you need to understand that to talk to him," My mom said.
"And I’m telling you that he understands what I'm saying. Didn't you hear him question me? Mike isn't a normal kid. He's going to be off and with that comes an intelligent kid who is only in to a hand full of things but he loves those things. I see you guys at one of the As if you come to the one I'm going to if not see you later. I call you before A1 if you don't contact me."

I walk out and see Ken and Mike are at the door talking. I walk out and start driving to Spencer and Taylor's house.

"You ok?" Ken asks.
"I'm hurt. I will be fine. I'm sorry what he said about you and your dad."
"It's fine. I heard it before."
"Ok. You’re not rude. They are just stupid."
"Ok. Can we talk about what you told him?
"What?"
"Using your words."
"Remember how I tell you he's different?"
"Yeah."
"He doesn’t' always know how to label his feelings because it' not often that it accrues. His school said it's important to help him label his feelings so he knows what they are and get the reason out. It's hard at times to remember it."
"Ok."

I pull up and get out and get Mike out. He stays in my arms. I kiss his head and hold him tight.

"I'm not angry with you Mike," I said.
"Your make up is messed up. You sad too."
"Not with you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."

I go to the mirror and whip my eyes so the makeup doesn't look messed up. I walk to the door with Mike and knock on it. It opens and Spencer looks at Ken and smiles at him.

"Come on in. Food is done,” He said.

I smile and go inside and hug him tight. He hugs me and I grab Ken's hand and go to the kitchen and see Saige sitting in the high chair making me smile.

"Sagie," I coo walking over to her.
"What am I?" Taylor said.
"Chop liver."

She rolled her eyes. I point to Ken.

"Ken this is Taylor. Taylor Ken Boyfriend. This is Sagie their kid and she's just the most adorable baby. Only Mike was cuter."

Taylor hit my head lighting.

"What upset you?" She asks.
"My parents. They are jerk faces," I said.
"Because they don't like Ken?" Spenser asks.

I nod my head and sigh.

"You know it's hard on them. You’re not like your brothers because well you’re a girl," Spencer said.
"Whatever."
"So why are we having a slumber party," Taylor asks.

I sigh and blow my bangs and see Ken smiles at me.

"I don't want my name on a hotel list. The jerkface is getting released. I got the call form the jail today at breakfast," I said.
"This sucks," Taylor said.

Spencer looks at her.

"She's not going to come visit anymore till Mike legally has a father that takes at least a year after her marriage," She said.
"Your right," I said.
"Whoa."
"Really you’re shocked? Taylor was the only one here that I talked after it happen before I figure out I was pregnant."
"I forgot that."

I shrugged my shoulders and smile at Sagie.

"She's so cute," I said.
"Thank you," Spencer said.
"It was all Taylor."
"Thanks."

Taylor brings food to the table. Mike came when she called and he sit down next to me and we eat. I take Ken to the airport. I park the car and get out with Ken while he gets his bag. He hugs me tight making me smile and kiss his lips.

"See you tomorrow. Me and Adam will pick you up," He said.
"Thanks."

I smile at him and kiss his lips.

"Thanks for being so good for these days," I said.
"You got everything out just got to be open to it."

I laugh and hug him tight.

"I really care about you Ken," I said.
"I know. We good," He said.

I nod my head and he kisses my lips again.

"Go before they start saying that you got to leave," He said.
"We are in Minnesota they will let me stay as long as I want."
"Right. I forgot that you guys are spouse to be deadly nice."

I laugh and kiss Ken's cheek.

"Later. Train hard," I said.
"Thanks."

I walk to my car and see Ken is just start walking away. I smile and drive to the Dally's. I go and knock on the door. It opens and I see Taylor. I smile and hug her. She let me in and I see Mike is playing bikes with Spencer. Taylor hands me Sagie making me smile and hug her tight.

"Missing Mike at this age?" She asks.
"Hell No."

She laughs and we go to the kitchen and I sit down.

"You really don't miss him this age? I can't believe how much she has grown," She said.
"He's talking, sleeping and out of diapers. I'm getting him so he can take a shower by himself soon."
"He's barely three. Is that safe?"
"He can learn so when he's older he knows how too."
"So Ken."
"What about him?"
"Mike talks to him. Seems a bit protective of him."
"He likes Ken a lot. He overheard how my parents don't like him."
"Aw that's sweet."
"Yeah and with Ken comes Adam. He really likes Adam."
"Adam won't leave. You guys are like siblings. His family loves you. I know his sister sees you like her fashion person."

I laugh and nod my head.

"It's important that we don't look like pit hoes," I said.
"That is true."

She smiles at me and I shake my head seeing her smile.

"So when do you see him asking you?" She asks.
"Not anytime soon. I'm not sure if I love him."

She looks at me and shakes her head.

"You love him or you wouldn't be fine with how he is with Mike," She said.
"You say that. Lindsay told me I love him too."
"But you don't know?"
"He's my second boyfriend. I really like him. I don't want him gone."
"That's something."

I nod my head.

"So what do you wear on your dates?" She asks.
"Mainly light color things that I will wear at work if they were black since Ryan doesn't have a lot of objections on those. When Ryan isn't there I wear things a little more reveling."
“Like that little dress? How did you end up with it?”
"It's Fox. Ryan got it for me. I think he didn't really think just its dress send it to me."

She laughs and I pull up a picture of my dress with cutouts and show her.

"Did you have Mike with you?" She asks.
"No. I put a sweater on and Ryan took Mike ridding before Ken came."
"I love this dress.”

I nod my head. Spencer came and looks at us.

"Are you guys planning trouble?" He asks.
"No. I only plan trouble with you or Jade," I said.
"And the trouble she gets Jade in to is worse than with you," Taylor said.
"Which you should be happy for," I said.
"Thanks."

Spencer pats my head.

"So how do you like Ken?" I ask.
"He's good for you."

I smile at Spencer glad he feels like that.

“How about your brothers?” Taylor asks.
“Blake hates him. Jade loves him. Ryan at times have a hard time with it.”
“Your growing up. He’s a little scare of that.”

I nod my head and Spencer pats my head. I his hand away. Taylor grabs my phone and start looking at it and she smiles at me.

“You guys are so together,” Taylor said.
“Thank you,” I told her.
“No problem.”

Spencer looks over and Taylor moves the phone so he can see the phone.

“You guys look like a family in that picture,” Spencer said.
“Cute,” I said feeling awkward.
“Let’s go watch Alice in Wonderland now,” Taylor said.
“Yes.”

I get up and go to the couch with her and she puts it in and I play with Sagie while Spencer plays with Mike.