How to Train Your Avengers

[a/n] I elected to gender swap Hiccup because there’s already so much testosterone on the Avengers team without adding another male. :P

The massive Viking knelt before the God in front of him. A scar ran down his right cheek, a gift from one of –them-. He was even larger than Stoick the Vast, a feat he was quite proud of. He kept his head bowed and waited for the God of Mischief to speak.

Idly playing with his specter, Loki ignored the Viking. He did so enjoyed making the Viking people wait. They were almost as fun as the Midgardians would be in the 21st century. Almost. “So Alvin the Treacherous, is it? You want the dragons gone?”

“Aye, without the dragons Hicca the Dragon Conqueror will have nothing and Berk will be mine for the taking.”

“You could just capture Stoic’s daughter and make her Conquer dragons for your own army,” the Trickster god pointed out in a bored tone.

“Oh, I’ve tried that already. Blew up in my face… twice. No, best they’re completely gone and you’re the god for the job.”

Loki smirked. He loved how simple-minded and vengeful Alvin was. Oh, he was making it almost too easy for Loki. But one can’t just destroy an entire race all willy-nilly, otherwise, he would attract far too much attention from his “father”—dare he even call him that—and his plan would be thwarted before it would even begin. It was definitely better this way.
***
It had been almost five years since Hicca met Toothless. Five years since she rode a dragon for the first time. Five years since they found the nest and defeated the Red Death. In that time, Hicca had spent much of her time with Toothless flying around the surrounding uncharted islands of Berk and drawing out new maps and naming them with the help of her Night Fury. It was a good distraction from the duties that her father wished to bestow upon her as village chief. As if being a disappointment to her father once wasn’t enough, Hicca had declined the position. And unfortunately, she wasn’t going to have some miracle like being the first Viking to tame a dragon happen a second time, so the disappointment from her father was likely to stay.

For the past week, there had been a series of terrible storms that drove all of the inhabitants of Berk, dragons and Vikings alike, inside of the Great Hall. Although Berk was known for its terrible weather (Winter did last most of the year and held on with both hands tightly before giving way to Spring), these past storms were much more violent than normal. Today was the first sunny day since and everything outside was muddy and flooding, but neither Toothless nor Hicca cared very much. They were both itching to fly again.

Hicca strapped herself into the saddle of her Night Fury, Toothless. She adjusted her shifting foot, which was mechanical now, since having lost it in the Battle with the Red Death Dragon five years ago. Gobber, the village blacksmith, had fixed her up quite well, but Hicca had made her own adjustments to make it easier to fly on the back of her dragon. Unlike the rest of the riders on Berk, Toothless needed her in order to fly since his one tail rudder was missing. In place of the missing rudder, Hicca had fashioned him a new rudder, a red one with a white image of the Night Fury in a circle on it.

Toothless emitted a low growl in the back of his throat and extended his large black wings, itching to fly on such a beautiful day. He tilted his head to look up at Hicca with his large green, cat-like eyes and nodded over the edge of the cliff, silently telling her to get a move on already. Hicca patted Toothless’ neck and smirked, “All right, buddy. Let’s go."

Hicca and Toothless went out past the “Itchy Armpit” place that they had charted a few weeks earlier. As they flew, clouds rolled in. Hicca rolled her eyes and patted Toothless’ head. “It’s okay buddy.” Toothless chirped in reply, but as soon as Hicca had finished speaking, the clouds turned into dense fog. “That’s Berk for you….it snows nine months out of the year and hails the other three…”

“By gods,” Hicca swore as lightning struck. “C’mon Toothless we gotta get outta the sky.” Hicca kicked her heels into the sides of the dragon, who veered to the right in hopes of finding a suitable place to land. “By the mischief of Loki.” She swore again, this time not knowing just how close her cursing was to the truth.

As quickly as the storm began, it dissipated. “We’re not out of the fire yet, boy.” Hicca said as several metal-covered dragons zoomed past her. She pulled back on the shoulders of her dragon and Toothless expanded his wings like a parachute to float away from them.

One of the metal-covered dragons fired at Toothless, but Hicca expertly steered him out of the line of fire. The metal-covered dragon continued to fire at Toothless. “They don’t have a shot limit, Toothless. Aim carefully,” Hicca warned her friend as he fired a single shot and knocked the metal-covered dragon clear out of the air.

A piercing sound echoed through the air as the Night Fury took another shot at a nearby metal-covered dragon. “What?” A Night Fury never misses. Toothless had a clear shot, but it was obstructed by… “By the power of Oden.” A huge creature appeared out of thin air…just like a Changewing, but much more massive, and much more… grey. It whined as the blast hit it. She saw several smaller creatures on its’ back, including humans. This new creature had obstructed her view of the original metal-covered dragon with no shot-limit. This was like nothing she had ever encountered…all dragons had a shot limit, even the Red Death…so why didn’t these?
***
Tony Stark was flying around the helicarrier, charging and recharging his palms and shooting down the remaining HYDRA agents. Natasha and Rogers were in their own planes taking down agents as well. A screeching sound echoed across the sky and in an instant a blue plasma beam knocked another HYDRA agent out of the sky. “What the hell was that?” Steve swore into his comm. as another blue beam flashed across the sky and hit the helicarrier, disabling the invisibility shield.

A dark shadow flew above Tony Stark, who asked into his comm. “Hawkeye, do you have a visual?”

“Yeah, but you’re not going to believe it,” Hawkeye replied, coolly.

“Is it friendly?”

“It’s shooting at us,” Hawkeye pointed out. “I’ve got a shot.”

“Take it,” Steve commanded.

Rather than shooting the beast directly in the heart, he took out the makeshift tail rudder. The hole in the sail sent the beast and its rider plummeting towards the helicarrier. Panicking, Hicca dislodged the harness from her dragon but did not jump from his back. Instead, she pulled on the dragon’s shoulders. “C’mon, buddy. We gotta slow down before we hit that creature.”

Toothless spread his wings, hoping to slow down a bit before crashing into the metal below. Just before Toothless crashed, Hicca leapt from his back and rolled. Unfortunately, even after all of these years, Hicca was still a klutz, and as she rolled onto the metal back of the beast, she knocked herself in the nose with her one metal leg. Blood trickled down her face and she spit to keep it out of her mouth.

Behind her, Toothless shook his head and regained his composure as the army surrounded them. Out of no-where a giant green monster landed next to Toothless and held him down. “No!” Hicca screamed. “Don’t hurt him! I’ll do anything you want, just don’t hurt him!” She attempted to run towards her faithful companion, but a man with a bow stood in front of her. She raised her hands in a cautious surrender. “Really, I’ll do anything you want, just don’t hurt Toothless.”

Toothless squealed and squirmed beneath the power of the green beast. He fired several shots at oncoming men and tried desperately to wriggle free. “No, don’t! Toothless, save it!” Hicca knew that he only had one shot left and with the makeshift tail-rudder ruined, escaping off of the back of this massive creature would be next to impossible.

A black man with an eye patch approached the scene, his single good-eye calculating. He was clad entirely in black. “Bring ‘em in.”
***
Hicca sat in a wooden chair across from Nicholas Fury. Her hands were cuffed in front of her, which seemed like a silly measure to her as she was the least Viking ever known to Berk. Even without the cuffs, she didn’t really pose a threat to the man in front of her.

“Who are you?”

“Hicca. Daughter of Stoic the Vast, chief of the Hairy Hooligans.”

“Hicca?”

“Yes?” She was unsure why the large black man with the eye-patch was questioning her name. Of course, her name wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the names around Berk. Though as Snotlout had pointed out many a time, it wasn’t the most feminine name on the island. It was doing its job of warding of trolls and evil spirits thus far though. “What’s your name?”

“Nicholas Fury. I’m the Director here at SHIELD.”

Hicca snorted. “How on Midgard have you managed to survive this long into adulthood with a silly name like that? Can’t believe the trolls haven’t gotten you yet.”

Nicholas eyed her curiously. “Where are you from, soldier?”

“Berk,” again her answer received no recognition in Fury’s uncovered eye. “You know, Berk? It’s twelve days north of Hopeless and a few degrees south of Freezing-to-Death. It’s located on the Meridian of Misery. The food that grows there is tough, and the people even moreso.” Hicca shrugged. “The only perks are the dragons.”

“And whose side are you on?”

“I’m sorry? Dragons and Vikings no longer are battling in Berk. We wiped out the Red Death and now they have no need to steal from us. A few species still try to battle, but with the Monstrous Nightmare and Gronckles and Deadly Naddars and the likes on our side, we usually don’t have to worry.”

“There are no dragons here.”

“Then what are we on? This floating beast, is it not a metal-covered Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus?”

In all of his days working as the director of SHIELD, Nick Fury had never encountered someone like the young woman in front of him. She was delusional, at best. At worst, she was speaking the truth and Earth had a whole lot more to worry about.
***
Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff watched from behind the one-way mirror as Fury interrogated the young woman. “Do you really think her name is Hicca?” Steve Rogers asked the Russian agent.

“She’s not lying.” Natasha observed. “Everything she’s said so far is the truth. Or at the very least, she believes it enough for it to be true.”

“How can you tell?” Steve asked.

“Practice. It was part of my job for the longest time.” As she spoke, she never looked at Steve, keeping her calculating eyes on the glass, watching as the girl continued to talk. “She cares a lot for that thing.” Natasha nodded her head in the direction of Toothless.

Thor walked into the room and dropped his hammer upon seeing the magnificent beast in the cage. “By the power of Yggdrasil. I’ve not seen a dragon in Midgard in almost 1000 years. I thought them all to be wiped out by humans.” Thor stepped closer to the subdued dragon. “And a Night Fury. These are glad tidings in deed.”

Steve and Natasha glanced over their shoulder at the Norse God. They had grown quite accustomed to his strange manner of speaking, but this was out in left field, even for him. “Are you saying that there used to be -real- dragons on Earth?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers. There used to be hundreds of different species of these beautiful winged beasts.”

Steve’s eyes widened and he returned his gaze back to the woman in the interrogation room. “Don’t you think it’s a bit odd…the way that she talks?”

“You don’t think that she’s from around here,” Natasha concluded.

“It would make sense. Listen to her swear, she keeps referring to Midgard and the gods, plural. And she has no concept of the helicarrier, even less so than I ever did. The plausible explanation would be that she’s not from this world.”

“I’ve never heard of Berk,” Natasha mused. Perhaps the Captain was right in his assumption. “Regardless of where she’s from, if she’s a threat we’ll need to take her and the….dragon out.”

“How did she get here though?” Steve wondered aloud.

Natasha shrugged. In her line of work, one learned to just roll with the punches, sometimes more literally than others. “C’mon, Cap. You can’t tell me you’re not used to surprises working for SHIELD.”

Captain Rogers raised a curious eyebrow. “Well I’ll be damned if that’s a real dragon though.”

***

Nicholas Fury had been hounding her with question after question for almost two hours. He was kind enough to uncuff her though as he determined she wasn’t really a physical threat to him or the Avengers. It surprised her that it took him so long to come to that conclusion as all of the Vikings on Berk and the surrounding isles knew that she was really was really of no-consequence without her dragon. She had grown up quite a bit in the last five years, but deep down she was still the scrawny, clumsy old-Hicca.

“We’re two of a kind. Toothless can’t fly without me because of his missing tail rudder. I took his rudder and he took my leg. Both unintentional of course,” Hicca added the last part hurriedly as she saw Director Fury’s disapproving look. “Toothless saved me at the Battle with the Red Death…well most of me. Gobber made me a prosthetic leg, but I enhanced it a bit.” Hicca looked quite proud of her tinkering skills, but Fury was still unimpressed.

Thor entered the interrogation room and Fury glared at the Norse god. Everyone else knew not to interrupt him when he was interrogating a potential enemy, but Thor never paid any mind to the silly human rules, as it were. “Hicca of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe, Conqueror of Dragons,” he smiled broadly, very pleased to meet the young Viking.

“Thor almighty,” Hicca gasped. “You’re…you’re…” Hicca couldn’t find the words to describe these emotions. It was THOR, for Oden’s sake. Standing right in front of her. The rush of fear and excitement overwhelmed her much the same way that she had felt the first time she met Toothless. Unsteadily she stood before the God and pointed unceremoniously. “You’re…you’re…” In her shock, she couldn’t find any other words. Her world went black.

Tony pressed the communication button for the room, overriding the system and remarked, “Well at least now we don’t have to blindfold her to take her to SHIELD headquarters.”

Fury glared at him through the one-way mirror. He didn’t have time for this type of bull. “Thor, get out.” Thor looked hurt, but obliged the Director of SHIELD. Nick Fury pulled a pen from his pocket, twisted the cap to the lowest setting and jammed it into the woman’s upper arm, shocking her back into consciousness.

Without missing a beat, he asked, “What year do you think this is?”

Was this a trick question? Hicca wondered as she sat up and repositioned herself at the table. She knew she looked weak, and in fact was pretty weak and unassuming, but she always thought she didn’t come off as stupid. “1013? The same year it was yesterday?” She offered cautiously. The only response Director Fury offered was a simple, yet disapproving, nod. Oden, that man didn’t approve of anything, did he?

“Wait here,” he instructed and left the room. He joined the Avengers outside of the interrogation room and clasped his hands behind his back, peering into the small room with the young Viking. “On a normal day, I would say this woman is in serious need of help, but then again I haven’t had a normal day since taking this job.”

Tony Stark hummed in agreement as he rapidly scrolled through pages of information on his tablet. “If she’s lying, she’s got all of her facts straight.” He pulled up Viking myths and the computer expertly translated the Norse writings into English. “Says here that she was the daughter of Stoic the Vast. She was the first Viking to ever tame a Dragon and led a Dragon Academy until her…”

“Death?” Natasha supplied.

Tony shook his head. “Disappearance in 1013.”

The Avengers glanced nervously at one another. Even if she had done all of her research and was mentally insane enough to believe herself to be a legendary Viking from Berk, none of it could explain the dragon caged inside of the helicarrier. “Ah well, we have one beast, a soldier out of time, two expert assassins, a handsome playboy genius and a Norse God of Thunder. Why shouldn’t we have the Dragon Conqueror too?” Tony jested, but his comrades were unamused.

“I sense foul play,” Steve concluded.