How to Train Your Avengers

Bruce Banner was the only member of the team to not assemble in the main deck around the large metal table, for Nicholas Fury had given him an assignment for his area of expertise (much to the insult of Tony Stark who had wanted in on the assignment as well). Tony was reduced to a pouty, slumped heap in his chair, swerving back and forth idly. Both Thor’s hammer and Steve Rogers’s shield were placed on the table in front of the two Avengers who sat relaxed in their chairs. Natasha cleaned her gun—a nervous habit she had whenever the pieces of a mission weren’t aligning correctly. She always had to make sure that her weapons would fire properly in case everything else blew up in her face, which it often did when things went awry. And if a time-traveling, realm jumping Viking with her pet dragon wasn’t awry, she didn’t know what was. Barton was the only member of the Avengers who was standing near the table rather than sitting. He stood to the left of Tony Stark.

“I don’t like this,” Natasha crossed her arms, temporarily leaving her cleaning. “It doesn’t make any sense how she arrived here with her dragon. And she keeps mentioning other types of dragons…what if they’re here too?”

“And if they are? She could help us; she seems very knowledgeable about all of the dragons. Stark said she was the leader of a Dragon Academy. I don’t see why she couldn’t be on our side,” Steve offered.

Natasha and Tony both smirked. Although being the most apt for leading their rag-tag team of superheroes, Steve was trusting to a fault. “I don’t think she’ll be much help if the dragons attack a US city. She seems to be hinting that she’s on the dragons’ side, not the humans.”

“She never said that though,” Steve pointed out. “You shouldn’t put words in someone’s mouth, Natasha.”

“Let’s assume your faith in our young Viking is well-placed,” Natasha countered, “If she is on our side in the event of an attack, we could still be seriously outnumbered and outmatched. There’s one Viking expert on this ship and there could be thousands of dragons. She named off a bunch in our presence alone.”

“What kinds of dragons did she mention?” Barton asked, his hand gripped tightly on his bow.

“Nudders? Nattours?”

“Deadly Nadders,” Thor corrected. “An arduous beast indeed. They are very prideful and have a terrible blind spot. If you find its blind spot and hide in it, you’ll be safe. Part of the Sharp Class of Dragons if I’m not mistaken.”

The group looked over at the Norse God in disbelief. “There are different classes of dragons? Don’t they all just breathe fire and eat people?” Tony asked.

Thor threw his head back and let out a mighty laugh. “Oh, Man of Iron, of course there are different classes of dragons. All cultures that have encountered dragons have had to create classes. They all possess different abilities and characteristics. Not all dragons breathe fire either. Those in the Tidal Class use scalding or freezing water attacks. And the Night Fury, well, their plasma blasts are quite effective against any enemies. Night Furies are the rarest of the Viking dragons; however, Night Furies are quite common place in West Africa.”

“So they all have different abilities to turn us into a charred mush, excellent,” Tony mutter under his breath.

“No, some dragons turn their victims inside out,” Thor informed them, completely missing Tony’s sarcasm. “But most dragons are friendly, they’ll only attack if provoked or ordered to.”

“Ordered to? By whom?” Steve asked.

The Norse God shrugged. “Usually a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, like the Red Death. It functions like a beehive and the Red Death is the cannibal queen. Though I suppose the dragons of Berk would be able to take orders from a Viking lad or lass.”

“I think you just made up a dragon,” Barton said in disbelief.

Natasha eyed him curiously. “You said that you haven’t seen a dragon on Earth in over 1000 years…”

Thor’s expression quickly sobered. “Berk is the one place where dragons and humans lived in harmony,” although he hated to tell his comrades this part of their history, he knew that it probably wouldn’t shock them, given their line of work. Besides, there was no reason for him to hold back the information. “Elsewhere in the world, people continued to fight dragons and kill them until they were all extinct. Now they are nothing but distinct memories and folklore of your people. On Asgard, we watched as the dragons were driven out of their homes and their families were destroyed, one-by-one. Surtur, taking pity on the dragons, moved the remaining species to a different realm. It is a sad day in human history, for much can be learned from dragons. Hicca Haddock Horrendous III proved that many times over during her lifetime.”

“Natasha,” Tony smirked. “I think we have two Dragon experts on this ship.”

Natasha threw her cleaning towel at Tony’s face, hitting him square in the nose. “Still won’t be enough. And I don’t trust her anyway.”

***
The landscape was barren. The young Viking man stood in front of the albino dragon that had its massive jaws clamped shut by a metal muzzle. Its oversized, front row of teeth protruded from its mouth. The dragon was serpent-like with barbs and spikes running down the length of its white spine to the tip of its red tail. Its blood-red eyes glared at the Viking before it. The head of the dragon almost seemed too big for its skinny serpentine body. Although slightly deranged most of the time, the Viking warrior from Berserk Island knew better than to leave the wings of a dragon free. It was the vicious Screaming Death and he was going to conquer it and use it to kill Hicca and the rest of her Dragon Trainers from Berk. The dragon shook its head in an attempt to free itself from the muzzle and glared at the Viking.

“All right Screaming Death, you unholy cousin of the Whispering Death, meet your new master!” The Viking put his helmet on and grabbed his axe and his shield. He angled the shield towards the sun to glare it at the dragon. The Whispering Death weakness was sunlight, so he meant to use it to subdue the albino dragon before him….unfortunately the Screaming Death was attracted to the sunlight and rammed its head into the shield knocking the Berserker off of his feet.

“Son of a half troll! You insolent beast!” He smashed the butt of his axe into the Screaming Death’s face. “Guess we’ll just have to try a different tactic. If Hicca can train a Night Fury, the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself, I suppose a little Screaming Death should be no match for me. I am a Berserker after all.” The Viking smirked and circled around the dragon.
***
Agent Hill knocked on Director Fury’s office open door. He looked up from his work and motioned for her to enter. She carried a standard issue StarkPad with her and sat down across from him. “We have a situation.”

“Contain it,” the director dismissed her statement.

“I doubt it will be that easy, sir. Most of our response team has been knocked out. I have agents on clean-up and medical already.” Agent Hill turned the StarkPad around to face her director. Red dots were popping up all over the map on the screen. Several percentage bars in the upper right corner were blinking red and reading at 96%.

“Any sign of more like her?” Director Fury asked Hill, who shook her head in reply. Nick furrowed his brow and pulled at his chin, contemplating their next move. Should they tell the Avengers? He worried. Before he could voice his concerns to Agent Hill, the StarkPad beeped loudly. The red percentage bar was at 101%. A single red dot appeared directly at the coordinates of the helicarrier. Both Agent Hill and Fury exchanged glances. Not needing to verbalize the order, Agent Hill hurried out of the room. Their next move was clear: Assemble the Avengers.

***
A shrill alarm echoed throughout the helicarrier, jolting Hicca awake. A blinding red light flashed in her room. She covered her ears with both hands and called out, “Uh….hello? Help?”

The airlock door opened with a soft click. Natasha Romanoff stood in the doorway, her arms crossed. She entered the room and grabbed Hicca by her forearm and hauled her out of the bedroom. “C’mon, Dragon Conqueror, time to prove your worth.” Hicca was sure that her tight grip was going to leave bruises. “We’re being attacked and we need you to tame the dragon outside.”

“Sure, no prob…” Hicca trailed off as they hurried on deck to the sight of a Skrill. Its large grey and purple wings beat several times to keep itself hovering above the helicarrier. Spikes circled around its head like a crown and trailed down its back. It had two large claws, one on each wing that it would use for walking on land. Its tail was heavily spiked as well, of course.

It just –had-- to be a Skrill. They were completely untrainable. Skrills were one of the few dragons that the old warnings of Bork the Bold were still in effect. Natasha pushed Hicca towards the beast and the young Viking almost completely lost her balance. She glanced around quickly and spotted a…”Shield! Bang on it! Make lots of noise. It will throw off its’ aim.” Captain Rogers complied. “That goes for you all too. Make as much noise as possible. The more horrible the din, they less likely the Skrill will be able to aim.”

Iron Man landed next to Hicca and fired a shot on the dragon. It whined and shook its’ head. “What’s your shot limit?”

“Shot limit?” Tony asked, confused as the dragon shuttered in the air and fell onto the edge of the helicarrier. It shook its head, trying to regain its composure from all of the awful din, and climbed fully onto the back of the helicarrier.

“Don’t you have a shot limit?” Hicca asked suspiciously. “Never mind. Hold your fire until I say so.”

The Skrill tossed its head and fired, but due to the intense noise that Captain America and the other agents of SHIELD were making, it hit the wing of a parked plane and nothing more. It had fired twice since Hicca had arrived on deck. Two more shots, at best. “Listen, Metal Man. When the Skrill opens its mouth to fire again, shoot inside. They’re not fire proof on the inside. Concentrate all of your firepower onto it. The harsher your shot, the more damage you’ll do.”

Not believing her, Tony addressed JARVIS, who was already running calculations on the dragon in front of him. “Sir,” but just as JARVIS was beginning to speak, the Skrill fired at Tony, missing him just slightly.

“Weren’t you listening? You useless metal man!” Hicca screamed. “That was the opportune moment. Fire before it fires!”

“Stark, listen to her,” Natasha commanded into the comm. device. Tony rolled his eyes for he hated to follow orders, especially any given by some little girl. Seriously, she couldn’t be more than 20, right? Tony scoffed, charged up his palm blasters and fired directly inside the beast.

Steam poured out of the Skrill’s nose as it took a stutter-step backwards. Director Fury was barking orders for containment, but the Skrill had had enough of this. It beat its mighty wings twice, knocking several of the nearby agents on the ground and flew away. It lost altitude quickly since it was still recovering from the shot on its insides.

Natasha wrapped her fingers around Hicca’s upper arm. “What? Ow! Ow!” Hicca complained as the SHIELD agent dragged her back inside the helicarrier.