Breathe
{Un}
(Polyvore)
This isn’t what she wanted.
All I could think was how this isn’t what my mother wanted.
She didn’t want to die when her children were still teenagers. She didn’t want a funeral that was depressing. She didn’t want to be remembered as the sick woman who made her two daughters orphans; she wanted to be remembered as the vibrant, outspoken, loud woman who was so full of life and didn’t take anyone’s shit.
Melanie and I wore pink- my mother hated black clothing.
I twisted the opal ring that my mother gave me around my finger and bite back my tears as they dropped dirt on the casket that was now in the ground. The summer breeze made my dress flutter against my legs and my mother’s best friend wrapped her arms around us.
“She loved you two more than anything,” Ruby whispered.
I sniffed and let her hold my sister and I. Ruby was my godmother, and certainly acted like a second mother to us. She often sent money to help with bills after my father died.
After the dirt had been fully placed over my mother’s coffin, we slowly walked away. The sun began to set and the sun was a beautiful dark orange. Goosebumps sprung on my arms due to the Pennsylvania breeze. We were raised in Mississippi, but my mother was born in a small town here. Even though it was June, the temperature was colder than I was use to.
We climbed into Ruby’s car and she began to drive to Philadelphia.
Melanie placed earbuds in her ears and leaned her head against the window as tears streamed down her face. My aunt let out a few sniffles now and then, but I kept quiet. Grieving in front of others made me uncomfortable. Tears would threaten to fall over, but I kept telling myself that I could cry when I was alone.
The drive was two hours that seemed to fly by. All of us stayed silent and wrapped in our memories of this amazing woman who none of us would ever see again.
Ruby’s house was large and obviously expensive. As soon as she pulled into the driveway, I jumped out of her Mercedes SUV and quickly grabbed my things. Her husband, Gabriel, opened the door as I was walking up.
“I know where my room is,” I muttered as I slid past him and into the house.
Running up the stairs, I entered the guest room I usually stayed in and collapsed on the bed. Tears began to roll down my cheeks, leaving nasty black lines from my mascara.
A knock sounded on my door after a few minutes and I sniffled.
“Aria?” Melanie called out, “Gabriel sat your bags out here.”
I heard her footsteps lead away and I fell into tears once again.
I missed my mom.
∆∆∆∆
“Aria?” Ruby called as she knocked on my door.
I looked up, “what?”
“Come out here. I want to talk to you.”
Anxiety washed over me. The last time someone ‘wanted to talk to me’ the doctor had informed me that my mother only had approximately six months to live.
Ruby’s dark brown eyes sparkled as I opened the door.
“Hey, I got a surprise. Hopefully, you’ll like it,” she spoke before grabbing my hand and leading me up a flight of stairs that I had never used. There was a door at the very top and she opened it. The attic was dusty, but empty. Light streamed through the tiny window and Ruby flipped the light switch. The ceiling fan began to circulate the already cool air.
“What is this?” I asked.
Ruby walked further in and stood in the middle of the room while spinning around slowly, “believe it or not, I was sixteen once. I wanted nothing more than to have privacy and a space I had total control over. So, how would you like this to be your room? We’ll clean it up and decorate it of course…”
I walked further in and looked around. It was obvious that Ruby was trying to take my mind off of everything that was going on recently.
“I’d like that, Aunt Ruby.”
I turned around and went back into the guest room I was staying in.
∆∆∆∆
(Polyvore)
The room turned out to be amazing after some cleaning.
Ruby bought me two queen size beds that we placed under the window and pushed together. The sheets were a dark grey and bright colored pillows laid strewn across it. An entire wall had been painted with chalkboard paint and Christmas lights twinkled from where I hung them above the bed. Three small rugs of various colors laid on the floor and a flat screen TV sat on a stand was opposite my desk.
After a long day of rearranging furniture and cleaning, I was desperate for sleep. I slipped my black converse off my sore feet and collapsed on the large bed. Thoughts of my mother didn’t sting, they simply made me ache.
Dark grey eyes began to flutter shut, but my phone began to play Ruby’s ringtone. Letting out a groan, I grabbed the roaring iPhone.
“Yes?”
“I need a favor,” Ruby spoke, “would you please go to the grocery store for me. I need a few things.”
Suppressing a groan, I agreed and pushed myself off the bed. My converse were soon back on my feet and I was walking down the three flights of stairs. Ruby handed me the car keys as I passed and I was soon sitting in her black SUV.
The grocery store wasn’t too far from her house, so the ride only took about ten minutes. It was relatively empty when I entered the store and I quickly began to pick up the items on Ruby’s list. The bottle of diet coke that Ruby wanted was on the top shelf. Frowning, I stood on the bottom shelf, trying to grasp the bottle.
“Need any help?”
I surprised yell escaped and I fell backwards. A large hand was placed on my hip, keeping me mostly steady.
Turning around, I met the blue gaze of a boy about my age and became acutely aware of my terrible appearance. My brown hair was in a messy bun, there was no makeup on my face, and I probably smelled like a football player.
I quickly backed away, mumbling thanks.
He reached up and grabbed the coveted bottle of soda, “here you go.”
He was definitely attractive. Dimples stuck in his cheeks that had a few small red dots- acne- and his blonde hair was peeking out from under a snapback that he wore backwards.
Normally that would be hideous, but somehow he made it work.
“Thank you,” I softly said.
“No problem,” he answered before quickly biting his lip, drawing my attention to the small ring that rested in the left corner of his mouth, “I’m Caleb.”
“Aria.”
This isn’t what she wanted.
All I could think was how this isn’t what my mother wanted.
She didn’t want to die when her children were still teenagers. She didn’t want a funeral that was depressing. She didn’t want to be remembered as the sick woman who made her two daughters orphans; she wanted to be remembered as the vibrant, outspoken, loud woman who was so full of life and didn’t take anyone’s shit.
Melanie and I wore pink- my mother hated black clothing.
I twisted the opal ring that my mother gave me around my finger and bite back my tears as they dropped dirt on the casket that was now in the ground. The summer breeze made my dress flutter against my legs and my mother’s best friend wrapped her arms around us.
“She loved you two more than anything,” Ruby whispered.
I sniffed and let her hold my sister and I. Ruby was my godmother, and certainly acted like a second mother to us. She often sent money to help with bills after my father died.
After the dirt had been fully placed over my mother’s coffin, we slowly walked away. The sun began to set and the sun was a beautiful dark orange. Goosebumps sprung on my arms due to the Pennsylvania breeze. We were raised in Mississippi, but my mother was born in a small town here. Even though it was June, the temperature was colder than I was use to.
We climbed into Ruby’s car and she began to drive to Philadelphia.
Melanie placed earbuds in her ears and leaned her head against the window as tears streamed down her face. My aunt let out a few sniffles now and then, but I kept quiet. Grieving in front of others made me uncomfortable. Tears would threaten to fall over, but I kept telling myself that I could cry when I was alone.
The drive was two hours that seemed to fly by. All of us stayed silent and wrapped in our memories of this amazing woman who none of us would ever see again.
Ruby’s house was large and obviously expensive. As soon as she pulled into the driveway, I jumped out of her Mercedes SUV and quickly grabbed my things. Her husband, Gabriel, opened the door as I was walking up.
“I know where my room is,” I muttered as I slid past him and into the house.
Running up the stairs, I entered the guest room I usually stayed in and collapsed on the bed. Tears began to roll down my cheeks, leaving nasty black lines from my mascara.
A knock sounded on my door after a few minutes and I sniffled.
“Aria?” Melanie called out, “Gabriel sat your bags out here.”
I heard her footsteps lead away and I fell into tears once again.
I missed my mom.
∆∆∆∆
“Aria?” Ruby called as she knocked on my door.
I looked up, “what?”
“Come out here. I want to talk to you.”
Anxiety washed over me. The last time someone ‘wanted to talk to me’ the doctor had informed me that my mother only had approximately six months to live.
Ruby’s dark brown eyes sparkled as I opened the door.
“Hey, I got a surprise. Hopefully, you’ll like it,” she spoke before grabbing my hand and leading me up a flight of stairs that I had never used. There was a door at the very top and she opened it. The attic was dusty, but empty. Light streamed through the tiny window and Ruby flipped the light switch. The ceiling fan began to circulate the already cool air.
“What is this?” I asked.
Ruby walked further in and stood in the middle of the room while spinning around slowly, “believe it or not, I was sixteen once. I wanted nothing more than to have privacy and a space I had total control over. So, how would you like this to be your room? We’ll clean it up and decorate it of course…”
I walked further in and looked around. It was obvious that Ruby was trying to take my mind off of everything that was going on recently.
“I’d like that, Aunt Ruby.”
I turned around and went back into the guest room I was staying in.
∆∆∆∆
(Polyvore)
The room turned out to be amazing after some cleaning.
Ruby bought me two queen size beds that we placed under the window and pushed together. The sheets were a dark grey and bright colored pillows laid strewn across it. An entire wall had been painted with chalkboard paint and Christmas lights twinkled from where I hung them above the bed. Three small rugs of various colors laid on the floor and a flat screen TV sat on a stand was opposite my desk.
After a long day of rearranging furniture and cleaning, I was desperate for sleep. I slipped my black converse off my sore feet and collapsed on the large bed. Thoughts of my mother didn’t sting, they simply made me ache.
Dark grey eyes began to flutter shut, but my phone began to play Ruby’s ringtone. Letting out a groan, I grabbed the roaring iPhone.
“Yes?”
“I need a favor,” Ruby spoke, “would you please go to the grocery store for me. I need a few things.”
Suppressing a groan, I agreed and pushed myself off the bed. My converse were soon back on my feet and I was walking down the three flights of stairs. Ruby handed me the car keys as I passed and I was soon sitting in her black SUV.
The grocery store wasn’t too far from her house, so the ride only took about ten minutes. It was relatively empty when I entered the store and I quickly began to pick up the items on Ruby’s list. The bottle of diet coke that Ruby wanted was on the top shelf. Frowning, I stood on the bottom shelf, trying to grasp the bottle.
“Need any help?”
I surprised yell escaped and I fell backwards. A large hand was placed on my hip, keeping me mostly steady.
Turning around, I met the blue gaze of a boy about my age and became acutely aware of my terrible appearance. My brown hair was in a messy bun, there was no makeup on my face, and I probably smelled like a football player.
I quickly backed away, mumbling thanks.
He reached up and grabbed the coveted bottle of soda, “here you go.”
He was definitely attractive. Dimples stuck in his cheeks that had a few small red dots- acne- and his blonde hair was peeking out from under a snapback that he wore backwards.
Normally that would be hideous, but somehow he made it work.
“Thank you,” I softly said.
“No problem,” he answered before quickly biting his lip, drawing my attention to the small ring that rested in the left corner of his mouth, “I’m Caleb.”
“Aria.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Pretty short, but this is kind of an introduction type thing.Bah, whatever.