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I was sitting in the living room, my feet propped up on the coffee table, a punnet of blueberries (my favourite) in my lap when Tayla strode in and stood directly between the screen and me, completely obscuring my view. I protested loudly and tried to look round her, ducking so I could see around her. I was on episode 9 of season 1 of Game of Thrones and John had told me something really important happened this episode and I was not going to miss it.

“Oi! Tayla! I swear it is not my turn to do the washing up. Now leave me alone!”

Tayla moved to block my attempts to see the screen, placing her hands on her hips. “This is not about the dishes,” she said firmly. “I need you to listen.”

I groaned and hit pause before throwing a blueberry at her. Of course she caught it in her mouth, of course she did – it was Tayla. She swallowed quickly and looked at me sternly.

“I was shopping today and I ran into Jared at the store.”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “So? Did you argue over the best kind of peanut butter or something?”

Tayla sighed, frustrated by my tone. “No, he actually talked about you. And Garrett.”

My head snapped up to find Tayla looking at me searchingly, and I blushed.

“It’s not what you think,” I muttered.

Tayla clicked her tongue derisively. “Clearly – he said you were fighting, been avoiding each other. Brandy,” she paused seriously. “Is there something going on between you two?”

“No!” I groaned, “Why does everyone assume that? First John, now you…”

“You talked to John about it?”

“He cornered me, basically. Actually it was pretty similar to what you’re doing now…coercing me into conversation.”

Tayla sat down on the coffee table and ignored my dig. “So you didn’t…try and make a move on him? Please don’t tell me you’re still hung up on him, Brands! We’ve been through this! I thought you were over him!”

“I was! I mean – I am! It’s just you remember I went to Ken’s last Saturday?” She nodded at me. “Well I got super drunk and I may have sort of implied feelings for him – which I totally didn’t think I still had – buuuut apparently I still do…” I trailed off, wincing, waiting for Tayla’s reaction.

The cushion from the other armchair collided with my head and when I recovered from the impact, spitting out my hair from my mouth, Tayla was looking at me exasperatedly.

“Brandy! I thought we’d discussed this! I know you really like Garrett, but he has a girlfriend! You deserve better than to be investing emotion in someone who isn’t going to return it! I said this last time! Is this why you’re not dating at the moment?”

I shrugged. I hadn’t exactly attributed my lack of motivation to go on dates and such to anything, but now my apparently suppressed feelings had risen again, it made some sort of sense. Plus dates were so awkward – all the getting to know each other bullshit – it was like being interviewed for a job opening, and I refused to be romantically employed by some random dude who’d probably have bad breath and stupid views on women’s rights. Ugh, no thank you.

“Not really. I just don’t like dates. And honestly Tayla, I appreciate the concern, but you can’t just ‘discuss’ my feelings away.”

She sighed. “Stop getting defensive Brands, I’m just trying to help.”

I bit my lip. “Sorry.”

“So why aren’t you talking to each other? I mean I know I was wrong, but I assumed that you’d made a move and it went wrong or something.”

“Oh wow, thanks for the vote of confidence Tayla!”

“Well, he does have a girlfriend! Come on Brandy, I love you, I don’t want to see you wasting your time on him again, not like last time. Do you remember how sad you got when they got back together? Do you? It’s not good for you.”

“Yes, I was actually there! Look, it’s fine! It’s manageable, okay? I’m not going to do anything and eventually I’ll just get over it, right?”

Tayla looked at me doubtfully. The sympathy she was giving me radiated from the soft look she was giving me. It made me fee stupid, like some sort of wounded animal kicked to the side of the road. Which I was not. I was going to be fine.

“Okaay, if you’re sure, Brands.”

I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy but I didn’t really want to talk about it any longer. To tell the truth, it was starting to make me feel a bit ill – I was waiting on Garrett coming round later and the prospect of seeing him was playing on my mind – what did he have to say? Did him being off with me have anything to do with the party? And now Tayla was reminding me of all these feelings I was trying to suppress.

“You still haven’t explained why you’re fighting, though.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, he seems irritated with me – he’s doing his silent treatment thing. The guys say he’s having problems with Rhiannon but I don’t see why he should take that out on me and be a dick about it.”

Tayla looked at for a second and then stood up. “Right, well I’ll let you get back to being geeky. Talk to me if he pulls any dick moves won’t you?”

I smiled gratefully at her. She was only trying to help and be a good friend anyway and I knew she genuinely cared about how I was feeling. I nodded.

“Thanks, Tay.”

She flashed me her own brilliant white smile and closed the living room door behind her, and I hit play again.

When the thing John had warned me about happened in the episode, I wasn’t as absorbed as I was before and I hardly reacted, despite the major plot twist. I sat and felt my attention slipping to Garrett, how he might be driving to mine that very moment, what he had to say, and I felt my gut clench instead. I hadn’t heard anything from him since the text on Monday – just three days of digital white noise – and it was making me nervous.

Xxx

When I opened the door to Garrett I was expecting him to moody still, glowering at me from under his fringe. Instead when I opened up the door I found Garrett teetering on my front step, his hands shoved into his back pockets.

“Hey,” he greeted softly.

“Hey yourself,” I replied. He gave me a tentative smile and I opened up the door for him to step inside. He shuffled through, toeing off his beat up vans at the door and turning to wait for me to tell him where to go. It was all very odd. I expected Garrett to be angry still so I’d have to work at him to get him to realise he was being stupid, or to breeze into my house and act like nothing happened, which was sometimes his other method of reconciliation. Not this quietness; all soft smiles and apologetic looks.

I waved a hand in the direction of the kitchen and followed him in there. Tayla was sat at the table, eating her low-fat yoghurt, and when she saw Garrett she dropped her spoon into her cup and shot me look that quite plainly said ‘what the hell is he doing here?’

I ignored her, of course and she got up with a grumble, brushing past Garrett without a word to drop her rubbish in the bin before leaving. His eyebrows jumped up at her hostile behaviour, then returned to normal as he realised she must know we were fighting. He sighed. I hoisted myself up to sit on the kitchen counter, so I was level with Garrett’s eye line, and fixed him with a look.

“So,” I began, “you wanted to talk?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing for a second. He looked…nervous? Sorry? “Yeah, I did.”

“Weelll,” I said, drawing out my vowels. “Time to shoot.”

I needed Garrett to get whatever was wrong off his chest, to clear the air. Normally I’d just argue it out with him and we’d be fine. Where was that attitude now?

“So I realise I’ve been an ass.”

I nodded. That’s all I could pretty much do – agree with him.

“Aaaand, I wanted to explain myself. So, I kind of already said to you, but Rhiannon and I are having a tough time. For example, I’ve actually been sleeping on the couch for the last two weeks, for most nights anyway. We fight all the fucking time – like when I said we got distracted? It’s because I upset her – again,” he admitted, looking embarrassed.

I frowned at him, “I mean that’s rough dude, but you’re taking it out on me? Not cool.”

“No!” he started, but then he sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets again. “I mean kind of. When you got really worried this week? It reminded me of her and how protective she gets – which can get annoying. I didn’t mean to snap at you, or anything, it just kind of came out. I was tired and cranky.”

“And that also warranted the silent treatment did it?” I asked him scathingly.

He bit his lip. “Umm, no. But I was dealing with some other things that day in the studio, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t deal with anything that day.”

Was he being purposefully vague, just to annoy me? I threw him a look full of contempt and crossed my arms.

“’Anything’ being me? Right, okay.”

“Brandy…” he whined. “I’m really sorry, I-”

“And the three days of silence?” I cut over him.

Garrett’s face dropped, and his hands came up to rub at the back of his neck – a universal sign of un-comfortableness.

“I’ve been talking to Rhiannon, and since we’re in a rough patch, we’ve decided we really need to work at our relationship and devote time to each other and working through our problems. She thinks it might be a good idea if I take a break from everyone for a while, and focus on putting my relationship foremost before anything else.”

My jaw dropped open. It was like he was parroting her words back at me, I could even hear the tone of voice she must have used. Why was Garrett agreeing to this? I struggled to formulate a coherent response to the amount of bullshit I’d just heard come out of his mouth, to be honest.

“What the fuck? So you’ve been ignoring everyone just because your girlfriend told you to? Dude, that’s messed up!”

Garrett wouldn’t look at me, his eyes fixed firmly on his sock covered toes, which showed him squirming on my tiled floor. “Not everyone...” he mumbled.

I squinted at him. “What do you mean not everyone? Precious Rhiannon has to come first doesn’t she?” There was an icy mocking tone to my voice that I had absolutely no control over.

“I can still talk to the band and people at 8123. It’s kind of my job, and important,” he muttered.

If possible, my eyes narrowed further. “So basically, your girlfriend has told you to stay away from me? Just so I’ve got this straight – is that what you’re saying?”

Garrett didn’t look up.

I could feel the anger literally making my hands shake, fizzing in my chest. Garrett’s refusal to look at me and be a man about this all made me even more infuriated, and I slammed my palm down on to the counter, finally making Garrett jump and look up.

“Is that it?” I nearly yelled. Garrett nodded very, very slowly.

I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs. I knew Rhiannon and I shared a mutual distaste of each other, but this was something else.

“So that’s why you’ve been giving me the silent treatment, not because you were angry, but because of this,” I stated, rather than asked. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you Garrett,” I spat.

Finally this seemed to spark some kind of reaction from him. He looked me in the eyes, a kind of desperate anger washing over his face.

“What am I meant to do, Brandy? Am I just meant to abandon my relationship when it gets tough, just jump ship and cut my losses? No! Rhiannon and I both rent that house! We’ve got shared bank accounts – we’ve got a fucking life together and I always promised myself – you know I always promised myself – that I would not be the one to walk out on a relationship before trying to make it work! So fuck you Brandy! I thought you might be a bit more understanding. It’s not for fucking forever, just until we work our shit out. And Jesus, it only affects you so much because you’re the closest friend I have outside of the band!”

I could only blink whilst Garrett exploded in front of me. Instantly I felt about three inches tall – of course Garrett would want to make it work, that’s the kind of guy he was – but what Rhiannon was asking was fucking crazy!

“She’s controlling your life!” I shouted back at him.

“She’s not controlling my life because I agreed to it! And so what anyway? If this is what it takes, then alright. I love her Brandy! You don’t just get rid of that!”

I felt the colour drain out of my face.

My feet hit the kitchen floor as I slipped off the counter, turning my face away from where Garrett was still standing, his shoulders heaving from his outburst.

“You shouldn’t have spent so much time with me last weekend, it probably made her jealous.” There was no trace of the anger and hurt I was feeling in my voice. I was perfectly calm. Reasonable, in fact. “That was a mistake.”

“Yeah,” Garrett fired back, “It was.”

I didn’t look when he marched out of the kitchen, but I heard the front door slam and rattle on its hinges as he left.