Gerard Is Dead!
An Encounter.
Gerard spun on the heel of his foot to face who had spoken. To his surprise and joy it was Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus!
“Omigosh no WAY!” exclaimed Gerard. “Hannah frickin’ Montana are you kidding me?! I am a HUGE fan!”
“Shut it, Way,” Hannah snapped at him.
Gerard was slightly taken aback by her sharp tone, but spoke again at once. “Hannah where are we?” he asked.
“I don’t fucking know, Way,” she said. “I’m not supposed to be here!”
“But where is here, Hannah?”
“I told you, I DON’T KNOW! I killed you, you’re supposed to be dead, and now we’re here and no one can see us!”
“You… you killed me?” said Gerard. “But why, Hannah?”
“Because I wanted you gone, assface.”
“Hannah, you don’t have to be so aggressive. You’re much nicer on TV.”
“Yeah, well you’re an assface no matter where you are!” Hannah shot back, and this confused Gerard into silence.
Hannah went on to answer Gerard’s question in more detail. “You were stealing all my fans, Way. They were all growing up and moving on to shit like my brother’s band, and your band.”
Gerard gasped. “Your brother, Hannah? You insult your own brother with such raw hate?”
“Yes,” she replied. “I killed him too.”
“Oh my – !” Gerard was disgusted beyond words. “Hannah, the TV doesn’t show it, but you have some major problems!”
“That’s because the TV doesn’t show me, Way, it shows Miley. All Hannah does is sing.”
Gerard opened his mouth to say something, but Hannah, becoming fed up, yelled at him: “Stuff it, Way!”
“Can I get another milk shake!?” Frank yelled to the waitress in the burger place. Gerard jumped, having momentarily forgotten that his brother and the rest of his bands mates were there, so close.
“No Frank, you’ve already had one milk shake, and you’re driving home,” said Mikey tiredly.
Frank proceeded to have a little hissy fit then, which brought tears to Gerard’s eyes, knowing he could not comfort his little buddy.
“God, they’re all so STUPID!” said Hannah.
“Nuh-uh!” Gerard defended them. He teared up a little more. “And you know what, I don’t really appreciate you being so mean to me.”
Hannah did not reply, but instead started racking her brains for an answer to how to get back to earth.
“We must be in Limbo,” Hannah said to herself, and Gerard started humming the limbo song under his breath. “Maybe I have to kill you,” she said, turning to him.
“I thought you already did that,” Gerard said.
“I know, stupid, but maybe I have to do it again, or play some kind of game, to get out of here.”
“Like in the movies!” exclaimed Gerard.
“Exactly… Well, I guess I’ll try killing you, first!” And with that Hannah pulled out her red light saber and chased Gerard out of the burger place.
“Omigosh no WAY!” exclaimed Gerard. “Hannah frickin’ Montana are you kidding me?! I am a HUGE fan!”
“Shut it, Way,” Hannah snapped at him.
Gerard was slightly taken aback by her sharp tone, but spoke again at once. “Hannah where are we?” he asked.
“I don’t fucking know, Way,” she said. “I’m not supposed to be here!”
“But where is here, Hannah?”
“I told you, I DON’T KNOW! I killed you, you’re supposed to be dead, and now we’re here and no one can see us!”
“You… you killed me?” said Gerard. “But why, Hannah?”
“Because I wanted you gone, assface.”
“Hannah, you don’t have to be so aggressive. You’re much nicer on TV.”
“Yeah, well you’re an assface no matter where you are!” Hannah shot back, and this confused Gerard into silence.
Hannah went on to answer Gerard’s question in more detail. “You were stealing all my fans, Way. They were all growing up and moving on to shit like my brother’s band, and your band.”
Gerard gasped. “Your brother, Hannah? You insult your own brother with such raw hate?”
“Yes,” she replied. “I killed him too.”
“Oh my – !” Gerard was disgusted beyond words. “Hannah, the TV doesn’t show it, but you have some major problems!”
“That’s because the TV doesn’t show me, Way, it shows Miley. All Hannah does is sing.”
Gerard opened his mouth to say something, but Hannah, becoming fed up, yelled at him: “Stuff it, Way!”
“Can I get another milk shake!?” Frank yelled to the waitress in the burger place. Gerard jumped, having momentarily forgotten that his brother and the rest of his bands mates were there, so close.
“No Frank, you’ve already had one milk shake, and you’re driving home,” said Mikey tiredly.
Frank proceeded to have a little hissy fit then, which brought tears to Gerard’s eyes, knowing he could not comfort his little buddy.
“God, they’re all so STUPID!” said Hannah.
“Nuh-uh!” Gerard defended them. He teared up a little more. “And you know what, I don’t really appreciate you being so mean to me.”
Hannah did not reply, but instead started racking her brains for an answer to how to get back to earth.
“We must be in Limbo,” Hannah said to herself, and Gerard started humming the limbo song under his breath. “Maybe I have to kill you,” she said, turning to him.
“I thought you already did that,” Gerard said.
“I know, stupid, but maybe I have to do it again, or play some kind of game, to get out of here.”
“Like in the movies!” exclaimed Gerard.
“Exactly… Well, I guess I’ll try killing you, first!” And with that Hannah pulled out her red light saber and chased Gerard out of the burger place.
♠ ♠ ♠
Um... yeah.