Gerard Is Dead!
A Funeral, A Ring Pop, And A Pleasant Vibration
The remaining members of My Chemical Romance entered the church where the funeral was to be held. Seeing as almost everyone now hated Gerard for murdering Miley Cyrus, they were the only ones present besides the minister.
As they walked up to the open casket to say there goodbyes, poor little Frank was sobbing hysterically.
“He was so young…” Frank whimpered in between tears.
“There, there” Ray said, patting Frank’s back awkwardly. “Its how he would have wanted it… Gerard always loved tragic deaths."
They all approached the coffin together, and there Gerard was, looking exactly like he did when he was alive, quite dead looking. The minister had advised them to have a closed casket ceremony, and it took Mikey quite some time to convince him that Gerard had tried throughout his life to look like that. As they stood above him in silence, holding hands, finally one of them spoke.
“So…” Bob said loudly, “Who gets all his stuff?”.
Frank slapped Bob weakly, and passed out from the exertion. When he awoke, Mikey was holding a piece of Hello Kitty stationary that appeared to be Gerard’s will. Mikey began to read it out loud.
“All of my belongings will go to my bestest and only brother, Mikey, except for the following:
To Ray I give my ring pop.
To Frank I give my mobile cellular telephone, and all my love.
And to Bob, I give you all the things you’ve ‘borrowed’ from me over the years and never given back.”
The rest of the will was pretty much just a long list of all the things Bob had stolen over the years (including Gerard’s dignity and a left sock). Gerard then went on to explain his theory that there was in fact a difference between left and right socks. At the end it was signed with a red marker, to look like blood.
By the time Mikey was done reading this, Ray had already removed the ring pop from Gerard’s cold dead hand. Frank looked around frantically.
“Where’s his cell phone?” He asked the group.
Everyone shrugged their shoulders. Frank was convinced one of them had hidden it for themselves. During the service, Frank kept messing with his own phone. As he was scanning through his contacts he saw Gerard’s name. Out of boredom he started texting to Gerard’s phone.
‘hey gee im at ur funeral’. Frank accidentally pressed send, and secretly wondered who would receive it on the other end.
Meanwhile, Gerard was strolling down the street, wondering where he would find this Patrick guy. And when he found him, how would he even be able to talk to him? So far it was only Pete and Hannah Montana who could see him. As he pondered this, he suddenly felt a pleasant vibration from inside his pocket.
As they walked up to the open casket to say there goodbyes, poor little Frank was sobbing hysterically.
“He was so young…” Frank whimpered in between tears.
“There, there” Ray said, patting Frank’s back awkwardly. “Its how he would have wanted it… Gerard always loved tragic deaths."
They all approached the coffin together, and there Gerard was, looking exactly like he did when he was alive, quite dead looking. The minister had advised them to have a closed casket ceremony, and it took Mikey quite some time to convince him that Gerard had tried throughout his life to look like that. As they stood above him in silence, holding hands, finally one of them spoke.
“So…” Bob said loudly, “Who gets all his stuff?”.
Frank slapped Bob weakly, and passed out from the exertion. When he awoke, Mikey was holding a piece of Hello Kitty stationary that appeared to be Gerard’s will. Mikey began to read it out loud.
“All of my belongings will go to my bestest and only brother, Mikey, except for the following:
To Ray I give my ring pop.
To Frank I give my mobile cellular telephone, and all my love.
And to Bob, I give you all the things you’ve ‘borrowed’ from me over the years and never given back.”
The rest of the will was pretty much just a long list of all the things Bob had stolen over the years (including Gerard’s dignity and a left sock). Gerard then went on to explain his theory that there was in fact a difference between left and right socks. At the end it was signed with a red marker, to look like blood.
By the time Mikey was done reading this, Ray had already removed the ring pop from Gerard’s cold dead hand. Frank looked around frantically.
“Where’s his cell phone?” He asked the group.
Everyone shrugged their shoulders. Frank was convinced one of them had hidden it for themselves. During the service, Frank kept messing with his own phone. As he was scanning through his contacts he saw Gerard’s name. Out of boredom he started texting to Gerard’s phone.
‘hey gee im at ur funeral’. Frank accidentally pressed send, and secretly wondered who would receive it on the other end.
Meanwhile, Gerard was strolling down the street, wondering where he would find this Patrick guy. And when he found him, how would he even be able to talk to him? So far it was only Pete and Hannah Montana who could see him. As he pondered this, he suddenly felt a pleasant vibration from inside his pocket.