One Heart With Two Owners

“Get out of my way” I yelled at some stranger that was walking really slowly in front of me.

When I really couldn’t stand something then people that had nothing better to do then teasing the other passengers with walking slowly and stopping at every second step. I really didn’t care that the older man was looking at me quite annoyed. I was already late for our rehearsal this afternoon and it wasn’t really the first time. Since we started touring in Europe I’ve had my little problems with our really tight schedule.
I already had my little arguments with the crew. I really didn’t want to start a discussion with Matt and everyone knew that you really couldn’t win in this game. Though no one really wanted to accept it he was the secret boss in this band – he planned everything, wrote most of our songs since Jimmy died and had his bossy moments now and then. That’s why I tried my really best to arrive the venue in time.
It had its charm when you were the only one that stayed at another hotel while the rest of my boys were really close to the arena and I had to travel through the whole town. Someone really fucked it up at the hotel and so I decided to sleep somewhere else before I would start a discussion with the staff. I told myself that it would be for one night anyway, but three times in a row seemed no coincidence anymore.
Either the hotel staff was really too stupid to do their job right or someone from the crew tried really hard to kick me out of this band. It was really paranoid to think that but what else could it be?!

10 minutes later I arrived the venue and saw a really pissed off Matt standing in front of the arena. Yes I was too late – again and today I really wouldn’t get away with the excuse that I got up too late. He wouldn’t buy me this excuse anymore.

“It seems to be a miracle that you still arrive here, asshole” he yelled at me.

“Is that now my problem that I stay another hotel and even have to take the public transport to get here?”

“Why don’t you just call a cab next time if there will be one” Matt rant at me before going back inside again.

I just stood there, totally confused and really couldn’t believe that Matt even had the thought of kicking me out of this band. Usually it was really hard to bring him up a tree but now I had managed it within the last three days. Congratulations Vengeance! You are so damn close to lose your job and probably the best friends you’ve ever had in life.
Because I really didn’t know if it was making sense to go in there to start the rehearsal with the other ones I sat down on the floor and started to think about my life. I’ve reached a lot with the band and it was always a real blessing to perform our songs with them on stage, but since Jimmy died everything really changed. We grew apart and developed in two different directions. A few of us moved on since Syn and I spent our time together, had our drinking games or just shared memories with each other. We really became best friends.

“What’s going on buddy?” I heard Syn’s voice behind me still holding his guitar in his hand.

“Oh Matt haven’t told you that I should better leave the band” I glanced at Syn that seemed really shocked as me.

“He might be pissed off but he really should start using his brain than thinking only with his cock. Seriously. We are all stressed, that is true but that doesn’t give him the right to be such a dumbass” he shook his head and sat down next to me.

“Well…” I sighed out loud rubbing my hands against my knees.

“You really think about this?” he whispered at me and I only nodded.

That guy could read my mind. We only didn’t agree in so many things, we even knew each other so well that we could see what the other one was thinking or feeling.

“Man, you can’t do that. We really need you. You are one of those that started this band. Matt might be one of those too, but we are a band and that means we are a team. He can’t make those decisions alone” he seemed really furious.

“Look, I’m only in trouble with the crew lately and then I sleep every night in a different hotel. It seems to be one of those signs that people are waiting for. Well, I really didn’t but since he started to think that it might seems to be my time to go. Maybe I will be happier somewhere else. Who really knows when you don’t make that sacrifice” I hated to look at Syn right now that went from angry to sad within seconds.

“I’m your best friend and see there is even Johnny and Arin that love you as much as I do, but Zacky you really can’t leave me here alone. I will be talking with Matt later, but just please come in and start practising with us before you really would be in trouble. It is enough when Matt is angry at my fancy dancer” he stood up and moved his hips when he said the last two words.

Syn started with that weird nick name some years ago. Since he recognized on stage that I loved to dance to our songs, at least what I called dancing, he came up with this one. It wasn’t really enough that I did my dancing parts in our music videos and I never thought that any of the band members would recognize this since they were busy in doing their own little show on stage. We’ve all had our parts. Johnny was doing the playback karaoke. In almost every song he was lip syncing to our songs. Syn was the little kid on stage that had his funny conversations with fans through the show or teased Johnny all along. Jimmy used to be the bad ass drummer but I really couldn’t say this about Arin. He still had that innocent look and really didn’t fit into that role. Arin was a great drummer that was his role, end of it. And well Matt was just Matt.

So I followed Syn into the arena where the rest of the band was already waiting. With no stupid comments we’ve started our rehearsal with no breaks really. Everything went smooth. No arguments with the crew or Matt, who only focused on his text and nothing else.
Though I noticed that Brian kept watching me the whole time. He never really did that. Maybe he was still a little bit afraid about my thoughts to leave this band, which really didn’t change yet. I wanted to make a decision later. There were only a few concerts in Europe until we would fly back home again.