One Heart With Two Owners

*Syn’s P.O.V.*

There was nothing better than get up by the voice of your girlfriend calling outside. I didn’t had a clue how she even found out that I was here, but she was really wrong if she thought I would open her the door. There were only two ways to get in, whether someone opened you the door or you had a room card.

So I remained lying next to Zacky, still cuddled up as before and just wanted to go back to sleep as I heard him mumbling something and rubbing his eyes.

“Don’t you want to go there” he whispered, pointing to the door.

Michelle still didn’t stop knocking on the door. Meanwhile, half of the floor got up, probably complaining about the girl being so loud at this early hour. I only hoped that none of the cleaning ladies were close by and she wouldn’t ask them to open the door for her because she probably just forgot the room card. If she wanted something she would get it – no matter which way she had to go for it.

“Why should I?” I shrugged.

“Because she’s your girlfriend and she soon will find a way in if you don’t open the door immediately.”

I hated when Zacky was right and that happened too often lately. So I better avoided any discussion with him and asked him to find a place to hide. It was already enough to bear her questions where I was last night, so she shouldn’t really know that Zacky was with me. That would rather be our secret for some time though nothing much really had happened except sleeping next to each other which had happened already so much. I gave him all his clothes and kissed him on his lips, which caused a surprising reaction on his part.
I checked my hair in the mirror again and opened the door quite annoyed. For one, Hello ‘was no time. She rushed straight into that room, looked around and seemed to look for something.

“What’s the matter?” I crossed my arms smiling and watching her from the door.

“Who have you been with?” she screamed and seemed to be more than applied.

“I’m alone. Why do you ask? “

I was pretty relaxed. It was not really hard to play the little innocent angel as I seemed now to be really professional in that role. After all I managed it now more than once to pretend the sweet little boy from next door while she mostly was sitting at home and being a good wife, at least that’s what she tried to make me believe. Rumors say something else, but I never gave a fuck about that to be honest.

“Alone,” she laughed mockingly, “And you just drink all that alone and then it is probably just a coincidence that this is a double room?”

“Yes, I’ve been drinking alone, even you probably won’t believe me. Though shouldn’t you know that by yourself? I was just devastated after Matt suspended me for the next concerts. So I was going to the reception and asked for a free room. Since there was no single room left, I got that one. Are you now satisfied?”

It sounded at least plausible, although I had changed the one and other detail. For example I had specifically asked for a double room, but that was another issue. Michelle seemed to have calmed down a bit, breathing deeply in and out a few times until she looked at me pouting. Of course she did that to get some pity.

“But you should have come to me” she wrapped her arms around my waist and looked at me with her big eyes.

“I just needed time for myself and I don’t want to sound rude right now, but please go. I’ll send you a message when I found my old self again. I love you.”

I pushed her outside for a bit and then closed the door as soon as she was out. It was perhaps a little rude, but I really needed time and distance from her.
Just still annoyed by all of this I let myself sink down the wall and wrapped my arms around my legs. If I was with her I felt like sitting in some cage. I missed the feeling of freedom and self-determination. Michelle was obsessed with planning through my whole life. I wanted to make my own decisions and that’s the feeling that Zacky gave me. Although he was present every day and we spent every free minute together I felt like I was still a free man who could get up every moment and not be afraid that someone would follow me.
My grandfather had told me the wisdom with the bird and the cage. It might look good when the bird was in the cage, you know where he was, but he never would be really happy. But when you allow him to come and go whenever he wants you would be happy as well. He had told me that story when I was a little kid but I never had forgotten that one. It said so much about life.
Zacky looked around the corner and smiled at me. Meanwhile, he had put on his clothes again and stood there ready to leave me again.

“You want to go now, right?” I looked up to him.

“I had actually told Meaghan that I will be back pretty soon. I’ll think of some excuse, don’t worry. Will you visit me at the sound-check, maybe?”

“I’ll see. No idea what Matt will think about that, but I’ll see what I can do. I don’t want to miss seeing you play.”

“And how I fuck up all your solos” he rolled smiling with his eyes until he knelt down beside me.

“You’ll get through this” I stroked his cheek until I started kissing him again.

The more often we kissed the more it pleased me. It was an indescribable good.

“See you later” Zacky whispered and got up to leave.

Now there was just me in this room, all alone and exactly in the same situation as last night. It wouldn’t help when I just sit right here, feeling miserable and doing exactly nothing about it. So I got up and was a bit surprised when I found the little package of cocaine that I had given him yesterday which he put back into his pocket when I remember it right. Was it really possible that Zacky was ready to make a step forward into a future with no drugs? It really would be too good to be true, but at least a small ray of hope.
And it really needed to disappear quickly again. So I went into the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet. Out of sight, out of mind. Drugs already had taken so many people from me – so I didn’t want to lose another one.

A little bit later I had made ​​my way to the concert. I had avoided the sound-check for several reasons, but I really didn’t want to miss the show. Zacky needed some support – so he got mine. Fortunately, all the women had stayed in the hotel and rather choose a night with some cocktails than watching our show for the 100th time. I really didn’t mind that at all which was giving me a better chance to get closer to Zacky again. Since Michelle avoided all the eye-contact I was feeling like that free little bird again.

“I thought you’re suspended” a male voice came from behind me.

I turned around and looked at Johnny, who started playing nervously on his bass. He had always been the one who was quite nervous before every gig. He floundered around, stayed quiet most of the time and began to sweat slightly.

“So am I, but I’m here to watch the show, even I might get a few problems later.”

“The sound-check was hell. Just be glad you haven’t been there. Matt and Zacky just screamed at each other. It almost seems like that Matt has a problem that Zacky didn’t manage to learn all your solos within a day.”

I could only laugh at this comment. That was never supposed to work, even for professional guitar players. I know that I needed a lot of time to play them without doing any mistakes. Zacky was good at what he did, but that was crazy.

“I can imagine that but I better explain you the whole situation another time. Right now it would be really bad” I gestured with my head to Matt that was coming to us.

“It is an honor that you are here, Brian.”

Even if the message should certainly come across as nice, it had some sarcasm undertone as well.

“I know but sorry to say that I’m only here because of Johnny, Arin and Zacky.”

I cut him from the list on purpose. If he was about to hurt Zacky in any way, then he had to pass me first. He just nodded, until he went to one of the technicians.

“Please come back” Johnny pleaded at me, which he finished with a laugh.

And then Zacky came around the corner. His face was dark and everything pointed to the fact that he really had no fun to go out there to entertain the people. I could not blame him. It was not the Zacky that I liked to see and I really was afraid of that he might choose the way again of drinking too much and taking all the drugs he could get or even worse. There were things that could be quite destructive and helping him out there would be one of the hardest way I would have ever taken.

“Hey,” I tried to smile, but it wasn’t helping that much.

“Nice to see you here” he passed me and was about to go on stage to start the show with the first solo.

I really couldn’t stand here and watch that. He would screw it up for sure, the fans would be upset and that would mean that Matt got what he just wanted – to have a reason to kick him finally out of this band. I didn’t hesitate so I grabbed my guitar and went on stage as well. There was none that could hold me back right now. I grabbed Zacky’s arm and pulled him to the middle of the stage. A look at the setlist on the floor that revealed the first song for this show. Even though the setlist on tour was almost the same I could barely remember it. There was actually no reason for that when it was plastered almost everywhere across the stage. We stood shoulder on shoulder, so even if I couldn’t see Matt’s face I could imagine it very well. I just won that round because he never would make a scene in front of his fans. So that point was clearly going to me.