One Heart With Two Owners

*Syn's P.O.V.*

I did not know what was happening. Suddenly Zacky's lips were pressed on mine and I did nothing else than simply standing here. First, it felt as I would kiss a woman. His lips were soft in a strange way. Only the scrape on my chin reminded me of the stubble of my best friend. As much as I liked him as a friend to me the way he chose was clearly too far. I pushed him away from me and looked at him a little indignant.

"What kind of test was that?” I unconsciously licked my lips.

"Didn’t you want to find out how far your feelings go for me?"

He seemed a little surprised at my reaction.

"Yes" I whispered "No" I said later, less somewhat louder, shaking my head to my answer to underline it a bit more.

"I'm a little confused. I do not know what exactly is going on in there" he pointed first at me and then at his head.

I’ve had no idea either what I had to believe exactly. Yes, my mood swings were even getting on my nerves and were driving me insane. In a moment, I just wanted to cross all the borderlines and see what happens, and then we were just pals as the time we first met.

"Sorry to say that but I can’t give you an answer to that right now" I just shrugged my shoulders not knowing what I really had to say right now.

It was pathetic. I was a grown up man who is no longer sure of his own feelings.

"It was clear to me, Brian Elwin Haner Jr. You are never sure of something. Talk to me again when you are clear in your mind" he took his jacket and left the room.

There was only one reason that Zacky called me by my full name, he was pissed off. Even though I thought that his reactions were somewhat exaggerated I could partially understand how he felt. I never come across of the idea that he perhaps had feelings for me too. But all seemed absurd as well. We were happy with our wives and until now it seemed like perfect, apart from my dreams that I had last time.
Much too late I opened the door and looked left and right, if I could spot Zacky somewhere. But he was gone. Maybe it was really better to follow his advice and make a decision about my feelings towards to him.

~ * ~

The next morning was a bit like the night before – nothing really has changed. I hardly couldn’t sleep because everything was spinning around my head, didn’t eat anything of my breakfast like I didn’t realize anything that was happening around me. Matt, Johnny and I were sitting at the table while Arin and Zacky either already finished or were still sleeping.

"You seem that you turned the night to the day, dude” Matt waved grinning with his hands in front of my eyes.

I just nodded. I was absolutely not in the mood for some entertainment. My mind still revolved around Zacky. I couldn’t get it out of my head that he had really kissed me.

"Is Zacky still sleeping or where is he?" Johnny seemed surprised about Zacky's absence.

"No idea. He went outside and did not show up again" I tormented myself to smile and took a big sip of the delicious coffee.

"Do not tell me you did have a fight?" Matt seemed curious and leaned a little towards to me, so that it was impossible for others to follow our conversation.

"Not that I know of" I looked at him emotionless and shrugged.

"I have heard him coming out of your room. Well you really couldn’t miss that" Johnny interfered now into our conversation "Until he stepped into a taxi and drove away.”

"It is seriously none of your fucking business of what happened between us, ok?! Take care of your own damn problems" I screamed and I really didn’t care that people started to look at me.

Thus, the conversation was over for me. Appetite was already long gone, so I could go to my room, pack my bags to go later to our next destination: Paris. No idea if it was just some pure luck that we went to a town that is known as “city of love” while all my feelings were on and off. But it was not a matter to explore the city, but just to play on the stage to give everything and to go on. Since it really did not matter in what place this happened. It could be held on the top of the mountains in the Himalayas.
As by chance I saw the photo that I was always carrying around with me. It was a pic of me and Zacky in our younger years at one of the wild parties. I sat down on the bed and looked at it.

"You are such a fool, Brian" I whispered to myself as I looked at the photo.

I should not have let him go. Now I did not even know where he was at all, whether he was okay or if he would ever talk to me again. I rather would have slapped me of what I have done and sadly I couldn’t really turn back the time. I tore the picture into two halves and wanted to just throw in the trash when I was torn from my thoughts when someone knocked on the door. I had no desire to go on Matt's conversation from earlier. My decision was clear. I don’t want to tell anything about last night.
My feeling had been deceived just a little, because it was Johnny who was standing at my door and made no decency to get in when I had opened the door.

"What's wrong with you Brian? I don’t want a detailed explanation of what happened between you and Zacky, after all, you seem to be mature enough to clear this on your own, but your behavior is really strange since a few days. You've noticed that your solos haven’t been the best right? Well I don’t care but you know what Matt is gonna do if that goes on."

"I'm going to focus from now on. Yes I know that I seem to be distracted lately I know that by myself" I rubbed my eyes and slowly noticed how my eyes got heavier every second.

"There is only one small problem" Johnny cleared his throat and scratched his head.

"And what is that?” I looked at him questioningly.

"Zacky came to us a few minutes after you left. The conversation wasn’t really long, but it was enough to change the mood for all of us. He will fly back home for a couple weeks. He says there is a family emergency, or something like that as he said. That means we have one less member."

Emergency? Yes it is! I couldn’t imagine why he made this decision and it certainly was not about his family. We were adults and behaved like toddlers.

"Do you think if he is still here?"

"I think so," he seemed a bit confused about my question.

I wanted to waste no time and ran down directly to the exit where the cabs usually picked up the people to get them to the airport. As I got there I saw Zacky getting in of these yellow cars and drove off. I raised my hand, even though I didn’t really know if he still could see it.

"I'm finally sure about it” I yelled towards to the cab.

It happened automatically, as if my brain would try everything to prevent him to go to the airport. And I was surprised. The taxi actually stopped.