One Heart With Two Owners

*Syn’s P.O.V.*

I had not just really written to Zacky that I love him, right?! That was the result if you also wrote with your own girlfriend and you noticed it too late to whom you had sent what. Although there were feelings for Zacky, I wanted to talk with him about that, but it was too early to speak out these three words. I couldn’t turn back the time to make it undone. If I was lucky he had not read it yet and I still had the chance to delete them secretly. Despondent, I dropped my head on the table that it was somewhat harder than originally planned.

“Don’t hurt yourself, dude” Matt joked as usual and patted my head.

“Do not worry. My hands are still intact” I held it up as evidence.

“Yes and if that should fail you still can play your guitar with your bum-bum” Johnny joked.

Slowly, I regret that I agreed to publish this video a long time ago. I really haven’t thought it through that people would still make jokes years later about my drunken elevator scene. In my defense I was young and naïve to that time.

“We also have Zacky to play guitar” Arin now even joined that stupid game.

I knew why Zacky had fled before them. Actually I also wanted to have my peace of mind, but I would not get for the next few days. Michelle was there, my anticipation was pretty limited, but despite that I still loved her. Or believed that I still was. She had always been my best friend, who had her certain charms and advantages. However, I had promised him trying to make it possible that we could spend some time together. And what I promised, I kept it most of the time.
The guys had found another issue on which they could make fun of. That gave me to find some sleep finally, but I did not want to go in my bunk. I was still a little bit embarrassed that I had sent him this text message by accident and to face him right now would be a little bit awkward. So I took a pillow, leaned it against the window and made myself as comfortable as even possible.

I woke up by some loud noises. Tired as I was I rubbed my eyes and tried to see who was here in the middle of the night in the bus and thus caused such noises. But when I got up I felt all the pain from my shoulder down my spine. It wasn’t really one of my best ideas to sleep on this couch.

“Damn” I heard him grumble again followed by some loud noises again.

I turned on the light and looked at Zacky somewhat aghast.

“What are you doing?” I wanted to know, and held my shoulder in pain.

“Actually, I just wanted to get something to drink” he stammered as he looked at me.

And suddenly I remembered my text message from earlier. He deserved an explanation that he wasn’t meant to get it but that there were also feelings for him. It was really complicated and I hated these kind of rollercoasters.

“Can I talk to you?” I handed him my water bottle and gestured to the couch behind me.

Zacky nodded understandingly and seemed to so calm right now, which was quite positive.

“I have to admit something and it is not really easy for me to do it, so please let me tell you it first” I closed my eyes and still could slap myself for it “But I’d rather play with open cards from the beginning. You got a text message that was actually meant for someone else.”

I really couldn’t open my eyes right now. I could imagine really well how his reaction looked like. However, in order to prevent him leaving I held his hands firmly gently.

“However, it does not change what I feel for you. You know I wanted to tell you something, but as you know that there wasn’t really a chance for that” I opened my eyes and now looked at his face.

You could clearly see he was a little shocked by the news, but seemed relieved at the same time.

“There’s something I cannot explain to myself. And I really want to take all the time we have to find out what these feelings inside of me mean to. I hardly know how to describe it, but when you had kissed me I didn’t feel as uncomfortable as you might think I was. It was like a small explosion of feelings which, strangely were something new to me. And that’s why I had pushed you away. I’m afraid of something new, I think almost everyone already knows that. Just when you were gone, I felt that was a part went too and I missed you. And we were already much longer separated, as only a few ridiculous hours” I had to smile about that “I’d like to continue the experiment, but with our wives by our side it will be more difficult which doesn’t mean it is totally impossible.”

I still held his hands in mine, only less demanding than before. The fingertips swept gently over the back of his hand, while my eyes searched his face.

“To be honest I’m glad that this text message wasn’t meant for me. I really don’t want to speed this all up. And the idea of ​​the experiment sounds really exciting. How do you want to do it though? “

I shrugged. Improvisation was the magic word. It would be completely nonsense to plan something now. There would be some opportunity for us, even when it was just a minute before our stage show.

“Do not worry, I’ll think of something” I blinked and could not help but smile.

“Well you better move yourself to your bunk now when you don’t want to stand on stage with a stiff neck” Zacky smiled, stood up and gave me his hand.

“I wouldn’t mind getting a massage from you either” I shrugged before another pain ran through my right shoulder.

Said. Done. He stood behind me and started to give me a message with his strong hands. It was actually really good. Why didn’t I noticed before about his hidden talent? I was pleasantly surprised and bit my lips that not a single sound came through my lips.

“Is that a good thing?” He whispered and I just nodded in agreement.

I turned around smiling as Zacky was finished with his little massage. As a sign of my gratitude, I pressed him a kiss on the cheek and went to my bunk.

“Sleep well” I whispered before closing the curtain.

I was lying there with a huge smile and felt asleep just a few minutes later. I’ve made the right decision and I waited eagerly to spend more time with him.

“Get the hell out of my way” I heard Matt yelling in the morning.

It seemed we already arrived our destiny Paris, but I’ve had my doubts that this was the reason why Matt seemed so pissed off right now. I got out of my bunk and ran to the place where I had been sitting with Zacky yesterday.

“What’s going on?” I looked at Zacky and Matt and really asked myself what was the matter this time.

“Look what I just have found close to Zacky’s bag” he gave me a package with white powder.

It was not hard to guess what it was. It probably fell out of his bag yesterday when he was looking for a bottle. Actually I wasn’t really surprised about that. That would explain Zacky’s constantly mood swings and his lack of sleep.

“And what’s the problem?” I was curious “We all took that once and this package belongs to me, thanks.”

I took the package to me and saw that Matt was even more surprised when I put it back in my pocket. I actually had my doubts that it was the real reason why he got so mad at Zacky. For some reason I thought I wouldn’t get the same punishment as Zacky probably would get.

“It’s yours? Are you sure? “Matt asked again, incredulously.

“Yes it’s mine and I do not have to tell you why. I haven’t been taking anything of this lately and it will disappear quite soon. You will see.”

I saw Zacky looking at me from the side, but I did not care. I wanted to protect him from the hard punishment that would follow when someone would just touch drugs again. I remembered the first conversation with him before the rehearsal, when Matt was really angry about him being late all the time. Slowly, I got the impression that Matt just was just trying to find a reason that Zacky finally leaves the band.

“Brian, well then you know what to do” Matt pointed a finger out and looked at me bloody cold.

Without to start any discussion I better left the tour bus.