Say You'll Never Change

JOSH'S POV:

Things were going great between Oli and 2 weeks passed by quickly 'cause I honestly couldn't be happier. Sometimes I thought that I was maybe moving too fast but he didn't seem to mind. I hadn't really even knows Oli for a year but I was planning on being with him for a really long time. He made me happy and I seemed to make him happy so I couldn't see what could possibly go wrong.

I knocked carefully on his front door, not wanting to wake him harshly if he was sleeping. After all it was before 12 he could be asleep.
I heard walking inside and then there was a knock back.
"Who is it?" he asked carefully.
Oh Oli. I really needed to get him some help with his social anxiety.
"It's Josh" I said and he quickly unlocked the door and opened up.
"Did I wake you?" I asked as I stepped inside.
He was rubbing his eyes and brushing down his hair with his fingers 'cause it was literally sticking out everywhere. In a cute way of course.
"No" he said but then he yawned and I couldn't help but laugh quietly.
I looked around and that's when I noticed all the boxes. There were literally boxes everywhere.
No furniture. No stuff. No pictures on the wall. Just boxes.
I looked into his room where he had left his door open and it was just the same there. Even his bed and couch was gone. Everything was gone.
"Oliver?" I asked and looked at him but he wouldn't meet my eyes. What the fuck was going on here.
I opened my mouth to ask him further but then I remember what he had said when we were sitting on his couch a couple weeks ago before we kissed. Tom used to pay his rent.
"What are you going to do now?" I asked and he shrugged and looked around the almost empty apartment.
"I'm not gonna let you live on the street you know" I said "Move in with me"
This time he finally looked at me and his eyes widened "No I can't ask that from you"
"I'm not asking" I said "I'm offering and that's a difference. What else are you going to do? I mean you could just move in with your parents again but still"
After those words left my lips fear and pain washed across his face just for a second before it went expressionless again.
"Okay, I'll move in with you" He said quickly before I could ask.

--

The very same day we started carrying the boxes up the stairs and into my apartment.
The next day we began packing up his stuff and putting them were they fit. I didn't really have that much stuff so there were much place for his to be placed.
When I was putting up his photos on a shelf that I had in my living room he walked up to me and told me to throw them away.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"I don't want them anymore" he said "They bring back painful memories"
He began putting them back in the boxes again and I took a second look at them. Tom. They were all of Tom. I should've known.
"I'm sorry" I said.
"It's fine" he shrugged before putting the last one back in.
"You still haven't heard from him?" I asked carefully, not sure if it was a good idea to go into this subject or not.
"No." He just said and I nodded even though he had his back faced towards me and couldn't see me.
"He'll come around" I said but Oliver didn't respond.
I felt bad for him. He had lost his brother because he was hurting so bad that he had taken it out on himself. No one deserves that. He had already felt enough pain he didn't need to lose Tom.

--

"We should go to the movies or something sometime" I said as we were sitting by my kitchen table and eating pizza. Way after dinner time though, it was almost midnight.
"I can't, I'm sorry" he said while picking the onion off of his pizza slice before biting off a corner and chewing slowly.
"Please try?" I pleaded "For me?"
"I don't know Josh" he said and shrugged.
I was clearly making him uncomfortable but I really wanted him to try. I wanted him to get better. I wanted him to someday be able to go out in public with me so we could go on all these cute dates that I had planned in my mind. He wasn't taking any steps forward by just hiding away here every day.
"I just wanna help you" I said and I could hear him sigh.
"Fine" he said after a moment of silence which made me smile in victory. He didn't seem too happy though but I couldn't tell if he was mad at me or just anxious about going out in public.
I didn't wanna take too big steps so we would probably go to a movie that was late at night. You know, when there aren't that many people around.

--

OLIVER'S POV:

Josh was taking me out to see some movie today. Tonight. I glanced at myself in the mirror nervously and pulled the zipped of my hoodie higher up.
I really felt as if I couldn't do this but I was going to for Josh. I was only doing this for him. I didn't want him to leave me. I loved him. I needed him in my life.
"You ready to go?" Josh asked and knocked on the bathroom door.
"Yeah just give me a second" I said, my voice probably giving away how nervous I was.
I couldn't do this. I couldn't sit in a cinema for two fucking hours. There were going to be other people there.
As if my body had a mind of it's own it unlocked the bathroom door and stepped outside. Josh smiled kindly at me and I tried to smile back but something told me that it didn't really look that believeable.

He held my hand as we walked down the street on our way to the cinema. I wanted to let go off his hand because of the looks we got from some people we passed but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I didn't want him to feel as if I thought that we was wrong and I didn't want this but I also just couldn't let go off his hand because my anxiety level was rising and he was all that calmed me in this moment.
It actually felt alot better being outside with someone than those few times I had to go myself. I didn't even have my hoodie up this time.
We walked into the cinema and I awkwardly stood about two metres behind Josh as he got us tickets. He asked me if I wanted him to buy popcorn or something and I shook my head quickly when the lady in front of him turned her head to look at me. I didn't want to be here.
Josh nodded and the lady turned her head back to him which I was thankful for.
He took my hand again and we walked in.
A few people turned their heads to look at us as we walked in and I panickly squeezed Josh's hand. He squeezed mine back gently, letting me know that he was there.
We sat down in the back and to our luck we were the only people in that row.
There weren't many people here since it was so late. I counted the people in front of us quickly. 9. There were 9 people here. 11 with me and Josh. That was still a lot of people.
I was on edge as the movie started and jumped about 10 feet as someone 2 rows in front of us dropped something. Josh placed his hand on mine that was squeezing the edge of my seat. I was doing this for him. I needed to do this for him.
As the movie went on I seemed to relax a little and the whole thing didn't seem so scary anymore. For a moment I thought that maybe this was something I could actually see us doing every once in a while.
"You okay?" Josh whispered and I just nodded slowly.
Even though the anxiety was still tugging inside of me it wasn't as bad as when we had first gotten here.

--

"I knew you could do it!" Josh said as we walked out of the cinema. I smiled to myself. I got through over 2 hours in the same room as 9 other people without freaking out too much.
"I'm proud of you" He then said and I could feel happiness bubbling up inside of me. I turned my head to look at him to find him smiling wide at me. I smiled back.
I was actually feeling fine. Maybe being outside wasn't as bad as I thought.