Say You'll Never Change

JOSH'S POV:

As I was walking through the breezy night with my friend Max to his appartment and listened to him going on and on about his girlfriend all I could think about was Oliver. I hadn't heard from him for the whole day and it made me kind of worried. I had texted him this morning but he never replyed. I hope he's ok. I hope that he hadn't answered 'cause he had gone to the hospital and visited his brother. I didn't really know why he would never meet me and couldn't make it to the hospital yesterday because he met other people but something told me it was more than shyness. Maybe he had social anxiety? Maybe something bad had happened in his past that didn't make him wanna be around other people? Maybe he was insecure about his appearance?
"Uh are you listening?" Max suddenly asked me and broke me out of my trance.
"Uh yeah sure" I mumbled but really I didn't give a fuck.
"You seem distracted. Is something wrong?" he asked me.
"No, I'm okay" I answered truthfully. Nothing was wrong with me, it was Olivers brother that there was something wrong with and I was feeling slightly sick with worry for some reason. Tom meant a lot to him and I'm not sure he could handle losing him because of how upset he was just the other night.
"What are you thinking about?" he kept pushing as he opened the door to his apartment and we both walked in.
"Uh there's this guy" I started and felt like I was a teenage girl in a scene of some cheesy movie. "His brother is in the hospital and I'm just worried that's all"
"Are you in love?" he asked and I quickly snapped my head up as I hadn't been looking at him. Why the fuck would he ask that?
"I haven't known him for that long" I quickly said wishing he would drop the topic and start talking about something else again. He knew I was gay but that didn't mean I would fall head over heels with every guy I meet. Not that I was denying that I had feelings for him, I was slowly growing a crush on him even though we've never even met in real life.
"You're not denying it" He smirked and hit me playfully in the shoulder.
I just sighed loudly and raised my eyebrows at him.
"Just fucking with you Josh" he said laughing.

It wasn't until a few hours later when I was home until my phone buzzed.

"I made it to the hospital today. Tom is going to be okay :)"

I could feel a wave of relief wash over me as I read it.

"That's great :)"

I sent.
I sat down on the couch in the living room and it wasn't long until Oskar jumped up into my lap and began licking my face. I laughed quietly and scratched him behind his ears.

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OLI'S POV:

I immidietly texted Josh when I had made it home again. I had spent the whole day in the hospital with Tom. My mom never came back so I guessed she went home or something.
I felt a lot better after knowing that Tom was eventually going to be okay. I couldn't stand losing him.
I microwaved something for dinner, finally in the mood for eating something in days. I would usually be too sad to even care about getting something to eat but right now I was feeling quite happy. I felt as if everything was finally started to fall into place again. I felt as if maybe life was finally worth living.
With a smile on my face I dialled Josh's number and he answered right away so I guess he must've had the phone on him. We ended up talking for another couple of hours and he was surprisingly happy that Tom was okay. He almost sounded relieved.
I really liked Josh, he was nice. He was nice to me. He didn't force me to doing something I couldn't do, like meeting him, and took his time to talk to me.
I was definetly attached to him. Too attached to him.
If he would turn away and leave now I'm not sure how I would react.

The following days I spent at home. Tom had told me that I could come on Friday so I wouldn't have to go outside too much since he knew how much anxiety it gave me.
Me and Josh had kept talking every day, or night.

On Friday I got out of bed and got ready. I zipped up my zipper, pulled my hood over my head and walked out my front door, much more confident this time. I had went outside during daytime before, I could do this. I slowly made my way down the stairs, careful not to make a noise.
Everything was going great until I suddely heard steps making their way up the stairs. I froze. Please not again. Please. Maybe I could just go an hour later instead? After all I had the whole day to get there. I quickly turned around to make my way up the stairs to my appartment again but my body collided with something and sent me tumbling backwards. If it wasn't for two arms to reach out and catch me I'm pretty sure I would've fallen down the stairs. I kept my head low as my heart began beating faster, not letting this person see my face which was probably bright red. Fuck, I had just walked into someone. Fuck fuck fuck.
"I-i'm s-so sorry" I stuttered out, my body stiff and shaking slightly. I didn't want to be here.
The grip the person had on my arms suddenly hardened slightly, as if he was shocked and froze. I needed to get out of here. I needed to be inside of my appartment, it was safe there.
"Oliver?" the person said, shocked.
I snapped my head up.
Fuck.