Say You'll Never Change

JOSH'S POV:
I woke up by Oskar sniffing my face. Or maybe he was trying to kiss my face. I don't know he was a dog.
He started to gently lick it, forcing me to open my eyes and wipe his saliva off of my cheek.
"Oskar" I mumbled as I was still tired. All I wanted was to just go back to sleep and forget all about this Friday an-
Fuck.
Friday.
It was Friday.
I quickly shot up in my bed and looked at the time on my phone.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I couldn't be late to work, they would fire me.
I rushed out of bed, ignoring that everything was spinning as I had stood up to quickly, and made my way into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and pulled on some clothes, as I was sleeping in just my boxers. Oskar followed me around so I almost tripped over him as I was rushing around the appartment, trying to get myself to work as fast as possible. Yep, I was probably going to be late.
I put my shoes on and opened the door and rushed out before Oskar could.
"Sorry, I'll see you later" I quickly said before closing the door.
I locked it and began almost running down the stairs. Living on the 5th floor and not having a lift in the building was fucking exuasting. Why the fuck wouldn't you build in a lift when there's over 5 floors.
As I came to the second floor I saw some guy in a black hoodie and skinny jeans just standing there. I was ready to run past him but in the last second he turned around and I accidently ran straight into him, almost accidently pushing him down the stairs. I quickly reached out with my arms and grabbed him to stop him from falling.
He avoided my eyes and hung his head before stuttering out an apology. In that moment I froze, accidently tightening my grip on him. That voice. I knew that voice. It couldn't be him... right? Every british person sounded the same... right? But I had to be sure.
"Oliver?" I asked, not meaning to sound as shocked as I did.
He snapped his head up and looked at me. I was trying not to gasp but fuck he was beautiful. He looked just as shocked as I was 'cause really what was the possibility of just randomly running into him out of nowhere? There were lots of people in London.
He quickly jerked himself out of my grip.
"What are you doing here?" he asked nervously.
"Um.. I live here. On the fifth floor"
He looked taken and then a hint of anxiety lingered in his eyes.
Wasn't he supposed to be with his brother today?
"Uh me too. I mean not on the fifth floor. I uh live on the third one"
He sounded so nervous and it was kind of cute.
But really what was the possibility of us LIVING IN THE SAME BUILDING and not knowing? I couldn't believe this. All this time he had been just two floors down.
"That's great! Maybe I could visit you sometime?" I asked.
Ok Josh, don't get too excited over this.
Fear washed over his face and he took another step back.
"I don't know, I don't think that's a good idea" I mumbled quietly, his voice sounded breathless for some reason.
Then suddenly he rushed past me and up to the third floor.
I just stood there and listened to him quickly unlocking one of the doors and running inside before slamming it behind him. I heard a thump, as if something or someone had fallen to the floor.
Should I go after him? Should I just leave? Should I text him? Should I call him?
I decided to just continuing walking to my job again. Maybe he just needed to let this sink in. Maybe this was bigger to him than it was to me. Maybe he actually had social anxiety.
Now I felt bad for some reason. Not that I knew that I would run into him but I just did.

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OLI'S POV:
He lived on the fifth floor.
He fucking lived on the fifth floor.
Josh lived on the fifth floor.
All this time I had been talking to him he have lived in the same building as me. Just two floors up.
I just laid there on the floor, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. He had met me. He probably hates me now.
I couldn't stand this. This wasn't meant to happen. He has probably realised how disgusting I actually looked, how ugly I was after seeing me that close.
I curled up into a ball and just wished to dissapear. I thought everything was going to get better, why did this had to happen? He's probably not even my friend anymore. He would probably never talked to me again after he saw how awkward and shy I was in real life.
I was stuttering for fucks sake.
I needed to cut. I needed my blade.
I slowly stood up again and made my way to the bathroom, craving the thing I had hidden under the candle.

I never went to the hospital today and it made me feel sick. I had told Tom I would come today and I didn't. What kind of brother did that make me? A really bad one.
I was scared to go outside. Scared that I would run into him again.

It wasn't until the day after that I got a text from Josh.

"I'm sorry if I was being too forward. We don't have to meet soon if you don't want to"

Just even thinking about it gave me anxiety so I didn't bother to reply.