Come Back to Me
Anxious
As I'm getting ready in my room Mel comes in dressed in her work clothes.
"You're working today?" I ask.
"Yeah they called me 10 minutes ago, they need me to cover. I'm totally annoyed, I was wanting to hang out with Alex this morning."
"But Alex is coming with us.." I mention.
"Oh, he Is? He never said.." She says disappointedly. I shrug my shoulders. I'm getting a little fed up that she keeps rubbing it in my face about Alex.
"Oh well.." I whisper. I don't mean to sound angry, but I can't help it.
"Oh it's ok I'll talk to him later when I'm back. See ya!" She waves and leaves my bedroom with not even a good luck for today. I feel like our friendship has changed lately, and I don't like it. I take a little longer than expected to get ready, I'm so nervous I keep dropping things. What if they're not at the hospital? I really don't want to face them. I need to go up the attic and find photographs, and find those newspaper articles that I saw. I sit at my dressing table and grab my phone, looking at the picture of my real mom and dad that I secretly sent to my phone from Toms when we were in the car. I do look like her, I have her hair and her eyes. Tom has her smile. I think I have dad's smile. I hear someone come in my room and I quickly turn my phone away, hiding the picture. It's Alex.
"Can I come in?" He asks.
"Yeah.." Alex comes in and takes a seat on the edge of my bed. He looks behind him at my already perfectly made bed, my shelves all neatly organised and then at me.
"Toms waiting." He bluntly says.
"I bet he is.."
"Are you sure you're ok?" He asks, leaning forward to get a little closer to me. I nod and smile. The truth is I don't know what's wrong with me, am I angry at Mel and Alex? Or am I angry at this whole situation, angry that I was taken against my will?
"Amy tell me the truth. I don't know you that well but I know when there's something on your mind, you make it so obvious."
"No I don't..." I snap. Alex smiles.
"You snap a lot when your anxious. Come on, you can talk to me." I stare at him wondering if I really can talk to him, after being angry with him about Mel. Maybe I'm angry that we are just friends and nothing more, and that he is happy with that too. I don't know what I want or what to think. Perhaps it's the comfort, someone comforting you can sometimes make you think it's something more.
"I don't want to go back to that house." I finally say and I feel relieved to say it.
"Then don't."
"I have to, I need to get stuff like photos and.."
"Hey you don't need photos to prove who you are."
"But then they won't know what I was like when I was little.." Alex sighs and bites his bottom lip.
"And.." I whisper. "What if I find something that I wish I hadn't? Like that newspaper I found when I first read toms letter, what if there's more? You said they have a history, what if I find something that.."
"Hey!" Alex stands up and walks towards me, kneeling down so he is my level. "Stop worrying, your getting too stressed out over this. All you have to look for is the photos, ok?"
"But what do i do about them? Do i get them arrested?"
"Amy don't think about it just now, just get your stuff and leave. Decide after, once you're calmer. See how you feel after you meet your parents?" He takes my hand in his and gently squeezes it.
"Do you want me to come with you, in the house?" Alex kindly asks.
"No..I'll do it myself..thanks." He stands up still holding my hand and pulls me up from the seat, leading me to the bedroom door while still holding my hand. It feels nice, I must admit.
"You're working today?" I ask.
"Yeah they called me 10 minutes ago, they need me to cover. I'm totally annoyed, I was wanting to hang out with Alex this morning."
"But Alex is coming with us.." I mention.
"Oh, he Is? He never said.." She says disappointedly. I shrug my shoulders. I'm getting a little fed up that she keeps rubbing it in my face about Alex.
"Oh well.." I whisper. I don't mean to sound angry, but I can't help it.
"Oh it's ok I'll talk to him later when I'm back. See ya!" She waves and leaves my bedroom with not even a good luck for today. I feel like our friendship has changed lately, and I don't like it. I take a little longer than expected to get ready, I'm so nervous I keep dropping things. What if they're not at the hospital? I really don't want to face them. I need to go up the attic and find photographs, and find those newspaper articles that I saw. I sit at my dressing table and grab my phone, looking at the picture of my real mom and dad that I secretly sent to my phone from Toms when we were in the car. I do look like her, I have her hair and her eyes. Tom has her smile. I think I have dad's smile. I hear someone come in my room and I quickly turn my phone away, hiding the picture. It's Alex.
"Can I come in?" He asks.
"Yeah.." Alex comes in and takes a seat on the edge of my bed. He looks behind him at my already perfectly made bed, my shelves all neatly organised and then at me.
"Toms waiting." He bluntly says.
"I bet he is.."
"Are you sure you're ok?" He asks, leaning forward to get a little closer to me. I nod and smile. The truth is I don't know what's wrong with me, am I angry at Mel and Alex? Or am I angry at this whole situation, angry that I was taken against my will?
"Amy tell me the truth. I don't know you that well but I know when there's something on your mind, you make it so obvious."
"No I don't..." I snap. Alex smiles.
"You snap a lot when your anxious. Come on, you can talk to me." I stare at him wondering if I really can talk to him, after being angry with him about Mel. Maybe I'm angry that we are just friends and nothing more, and that he is happy with that too. I don't know what I want or what to think. Perhaps it's the comfort, someone comforting you can sometimes make you think it's something more.
"I don't want to go back to that house." I finally say and I feel relieved to say it.
"Then don't."
"I have to, I need to get stuff like photos and.."
"Hey you don't need photos to prove who you are."
"But then they won't know what I was like when I was little.." Alex sighs and bites his bottom lip.
"And.." I whisper. "What if I find something that I wish I hadn't? Like that newspaper I found when I first read toms letter, what if there's more? You said they have a history, what if I find something that.."
"Hey!" Alex stands up and walks towards me, kneeling down so he is my level. "Stop worrying, your getting too stressed out over this. All you have to look for is the photos, ok?"
"But what do i do about them? Do i get them arrested?"
"Amy don't think about it just now, just get your stuff and leave. Decide after, once you're calmer. See how you feel after you meet your parents?" He takes my hand in his and gently squeezes it.
"Do you want me to come with you, in the house?" Alex kindly asks.
"No..I'll do it myself..thanks." He stands up still holding my hand and pulls me up from the seat, leading me to the bedroom door while still holding my hand. It feels nice, I must admit.