All I'll Ever Need

Beau was more than happy to take me back to Sidney’s place. I said I would just walk, but he said over and over again, “Remember, girl? We’re family, and with a stalker on the loose, I’m not letting you just walk there. Not to mention, Sid would quite literally kill me for that.”

He was right about that, and I didn’t wanna get him in trouble. So I sent Sidney a text, letting him know I was on my way home, and Beau took me by his place. The entire ride home, I expected to be asked a million questions about Sidney, but Beau asked me about my favorite color and my favorite thing at Chinese restaurants.

I was thankful to have something else to put my mind on.

It wasn’t remotely surprising that Sidney was waiting on the porch, and when he saw me climb out of Beau’s sleek black Ferrari, his eyes widened.

Beau hopped out of the car so he could talk to Sidney, and I knew I was probably in big trouble. Not from Sidney. Like he told me, he could never be mad at me, but my older brother? Yeah. He was gonna kill me.

I tried to sneak past Sidney, but he carefully reached out and grabbed ahold of my hand while he talked to Beau. If him holding my hand hadn’t stirred up so many electric feelings inside of me, I would’ve probably pulled my hand out and gone inside anyways.

I didn’t, however. Instead, I made a face at Beau, which only made him laugh. Sidney didn’t realize what he was laughing at until he looked back at me and saw me looking rather innocent and as cute as I could manage.

Sidney rolled his eyes and let out a breath of a laugh. “Thanks for bringing her home. I owe you.”

Beau shook his head. “Nah, man. That’s what family does.” Beau looked at me and smirked. “I don’t wanna hear that this was just a wasted trip, alright? No more running away.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I sighed. “I’m probably gonna get grounded when I get inside, so I won’t be doing that again.”

Beau smiled at me one last time before giving Sidney a bro hug and disappearing back into his Ferrari. I found it to be quite wonderful, so I waited until it was out of sight to even look at Sidney again.

There was so much relief in his eyes that I felt horrid. Of course, the six frantic voicemails were kinda proof that I worried him, but seeing it in person was a punishment I deserved. Sidney didn’t deserve to have to suffer through it, but for making him suffer, I deserved to suffer a bit.

I could see him trying to be angry, but he just couldn’t. The anger kept disappearing or shifting into relief, and all he could do was stand there and pout.

As cute as it was, I had things I needed to say. While he continued to stand there, I rubbed the back of my neck. “I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I don’t care if you leave,” he snorted. “Sometimes, people just need to be alone for a little bit. I’d just like to know where you’re going and why the fuck you ran off like that.”

“Because I’m stupid?” I suggested. “Is that what you wanna hear?”

Now, there was no pout on his lips, no relief in his eyes. For once, Sidney looked frustrated, so frustrated that he had to take a few seconds to just stand there and breathe. If it was any of his teammates that dropped off the grid like that, I had a feeling he’d be much angrier than he was.

Far less concerned, much angrier.

“I wanna hear the truth,” he said. “I want you to talk to me! Why did you leave?”

I shrugged my shoulders as if it was no big deal, but Sidney knew better. As much as I liked to pretend that we could just go our separate ways and be okay, neither one of us would be. In the short time we had known each other, we had gotten close enough that we noticed little things. That we knew casual from serious, that we knew when the other had more to say . . . .

“Because I let my dad get in my head like he always does, and I let him fuck everything up. He was right and wrong, but, can you just promise me one thing?”

“Anything,” he whispered without hesitation.

“You know, I could be asking you to kill someone for me,” I pointed out. “But you didn’t hesitate to agree. Why?”

He rolled his eyes. “Because I know you’re not.”

“Fine,” I grumbled. “I . . . will you just promise me that I’m not just some charity case so everyone thinks you’re even more wonderful than they already do?”

Sidney didn’t even have words. I knew I would regret asking, but I had to make sure. The moment his eyes widened, his jaw fell open, and shock froze him in place, I got my answer. No, I wasn’t some charity case to Sidney Crosby.

So . . . what was I?

“Just making sure,” I said. “Something my dad told me.”

“Why would you even think that might be true?”

“Because it’s the only explanation I have as to why you’d wanna be around me to begin with,” I mumbled, and my eyes shifted away from his as pain surged through them and solidified the usually melted chocolate of his irises.

“And my explanation isn’t good enough?” he asked.

My teeth pierced my bottom lip as I looked back to him, reluctantly. “You never really explained because I didn’t wanna ask.”

“I chose to be around you because the second I looked into your eyes, I felt something that to this day still terrifies me,” he whispered. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s love? Who the fuck knows? All I know is that I saw you and knew that I wanted you in my life for as long as I live.”

“Sidney, I’m not ready for this,” I said. “I . . . I need some time.”

“I told you,” he said, but now, a small smile pulled across that gorgeous face as he stepped closer, his face only mere inches away from mine. “I want you in my life for as long as I live. I can wait a couple years, if need be.”

“I don’t think it’ll take that long,” I laughed, but what he was saying . . . it brought tears to my eyes.

His arms slipped around my waist as he pulled me against his chiseled body, and the warmth overwhelmed me. My eyes fluttered shut, and I pressed my cheek against his chest, just breathing in his marvelous after shave. This was a place I could get lost in, with the intoxicating smell and the warming embrace. But more than any of that, the security and the rush of sensations surging through my entire body . . . that was what I looked forward to the most.

“I’m falling for you, Mika,” he whispered into my hair just moments before his lips ever so softly kissed the top of my head.

My eyes remained closed while I just smiled for a minute, taking in those five words and letting them swim around in my head. “I’m falling for you, too, Sidney.”

I think that was the best thing he had heard in a while because that adorable laugh that he lets out when he’s too damn happy to just stand there and smile . . . I heard it. He stood there and held onto me while he did it, but he laughed and laughed.

And I couldn’t imagine being happier.

“Why does falling for someone have to be this big secret?” he asked. “Why doesn’t everyone in the world just make it totally clear? Like, why don’t we make t-shirts with the name of the person we’re falling for on it?”

“While we’re at it, why don’t we just throw pianos at people and declare our undying love for them?” I asked.

I didn’t really think he’d laugh as hard as he did, but he laughed. And laughed. And just when I thought he was done laughing, he laughed some more. This boy was laughing so hard that he had to let go of me just so he could laugh properly.

That kind of laughing is infectious, and by the time Matty came outside, we were both laying in the grass laughing so hard that I really, honest to goodness, thought I was gonna die.

And I never remembered a time when I was happier.