All I'll Ever Need

Sidney rolled his eyes as he laughed a little, though it wasn’t nearly as full as I was used to. “Yes, Jonny. This is Mika.”

“I see why you called her every night,” he said. “Wouldn’t wanna take a chance losing this one.”

“Alright, I didn’t invite you so you could try and take her from me,” Sidney informed him. “I figured she would wanna meet you.”

My eyes were wide as I looked over at Sidney. “Gee. A little heads up would’ve been nice.”

Sidney’s half smirk made my heart thump in my chest, but I noticed his eyes were a little dim. This . . . he invited Jonathan for me, but every fiber of his being worried Jonathan might take me from him.

That wouldn’t happen, and I told myself right then that I would do my best to keep the fangirling to a minimum.

“You said more beautiful in person?” I asked as Tazer slid in next to Sidney. “Where else have you seen me?”

The way he smirked at me caught me off guard—holy shit. It was kinda like the way Sidney smiled with his chocolate eyes shining. Tazer’s smirk was dazzling.

I had to look away before I could function like a normal human being. Like Sidney’s adorable smile, Tazer’s sexy smirk would take some getting used to.

“Aside from the video, there are pictures of the mysterious woman with Sidney Crosby online,” he said.

Sidney groaned as my eyes widened even further. It was all I could do not to squeak, but I bit my lip so I wouldn’t make an idiot of myself in front of these two guys.

“What?”

He shrugged. “I know you two are fucking weird and not actually dating for whatever reason, but people have seen you together and seen the way you look at each other.”

“It’s not that simple, Jonny,” Sid mumbled under his breath, but I could tell by the way his cheeks turned a light pink that he really didn’t wanna talk about it. Not only that, he didn’t want me to feel put off by the people around him constantly suggesting we just get together.

Tazer rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I know the story, kid. She’s making it way more complicated than it needs to be, which is fine. Gives me a chance to steal her away.”

Sidney lost so much color in that moment that I really worried for his health, but from the way Tazer just laughed, I knew there wasn’t much to worry about.

At least . . . I think he was joking.

Sidney managed to get back to himself when he glared over at Tazer. “You’re an asshole.”

Tazer gave Sidney his signature smirk, but his eyes never left me. “Just trying to help, Crosby. You’ll thank me one day.”

“If your definition of ‘help’ involves wooing the girl I’m in love with, I don’t think I’ll ever thank you,” Sidney snorted.

“Someone worried?”

Sidney’s gaze only briefly landed on me, but when it did, I caught a glimpse of the fear clouding his irises. “Unfortunately, yes.”

I knew he didn’t mean to make me feel bad. It just wasn’t the way Sidney did things. Whether he meant to or not, I felt absolutely horrible.

Tazer’s half smirk, half dashing smile didn’t really make me feel any better—aside from the fact my heart started beating a bit faster. “Well, she did like me better from day one. I mean, at least she recognized me by face.”

I could tell this was more to Sidney than just poking fun, and the shitty part was, I think Jonathan could tell too, but there was something he was hiding behind those mysterious dark eyes.

Sidney didn’t seem very comfortable, but he hid his real emotions rather well—from someone who didn’t know him well enough to see the pain and discomfort in his eyes. “Fuck you, man.” And he even threw in a half hearted laugh.

I knew better, however, and didn’t buy it one bit.

“If I did take her from you—which is not why I’m here—it would be a favor,” Tazer told him, which only made Sidney’s eyes widen. “You could move on with your life.” Now, his eyes shifted so that they were gazing directly into mine, and my throat tightened in both surprise and slight fear. Jonathan Toews was my fan girl weakness, but Sidney Crosby . . . he was my life weakness.

Wait, what?

“What do you say you and I go to dinner tomorrow night?” he asked, and when Sidney’s face paled again, his smirk just pulled right back out. “I’m sure you’re not gonna be in town too long, so no time to waste. We’ll call it a victory dinner.”

“You have to win first,” I said. “I can’t go on a victory dinner if you guys, ya know, lose.”

I could see some light coming back into Sidney’s chocolate eyes as a smile pulled on the corners of his lips. This made him feel eons better, to see me stand up for him against Tazer.

How did I even manage?

“Well, if we lose, I’m gonna need dinner with a beautiful girl such as yourself to soothe the hurt your friend man over here put on my soul.”

Hearing Sidney laughed cheered me up, quite a bit. It was hard to really focus on much with that high pitched sound that sent my heart on a frenzy, so I kept my gaze on Tazer while the smile Sid’s laugh brought out of me came to light.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. What time do I need to be ready?”

“We can just head out after the game,” he said with a smirk sent Sidney’s way. “Will you be waiting up when I drop her off?”

Sidney’s laughter had stopped the moment I agreed to go to dinner with Tazer, and those chocolate eyes fell far away from me. His breaths were coming out loud and heavy, strained . . . and it was my fault.

“Well, I hate to just ask and then leave on that note, but we’ll head out after the game tomorrow night,” he said. “Win or lose, we’re going out.”

And as he stood up to walk out, I didn’t have words. All I had were wide eyes and a huge smile as I looked to Sidney.

“Holy shit!”

Sidney . . . man, this was bad. Honestly, when I saw how much raw and genuine pain was hiding behind the chocolate, I realized that I had screwed up.

We were just friends, and I broke his heart. Sometimes, I forgot that Sidney couldn’t read my mind. He couldn’t understand that with Tazer, it was all just my fan girl craze. It wasn’t like that with him, and it never would be.

With Sidney, there was a big chance it would one day become so much more, and I was slowly ruining that chance.

“Yeah,” Sidney mumbled. “Just fucking wonderful.”

I had to find a way to make this right again, a way that didn’t involve bailing on Tazer. He had proven himself to be a wonderful friend, and I didn’t wanna blow him off. He knew so much about me, and I knew so little about him. Dinner would be a nice time to get to know my new friend.

And that’s all Sidney was, but I felt like he needed to understand that was all Jonathan was, all Jonathan would ever be.

Because maybe one day I’d be willing to let Sidney become more.