All I'll Ever Need

When I woke up the next morning in bed alone, my heart sank down to the ends of my toes. I knew Sidney hadn’t left yet, but waking up alone . . . it was strange. It shouldn’t have been. I mean, we weren’t even in a relationship, but it was.

How would I adjust back to sleeping on my own when Matty and I went back home?

Just the thought of going back home scared me, so I decided to let it go for now and willed myself out of bed before my mind could remind me how comfortable I was.

Sidney stepped out of the bathroom holding his toothbrush and a bag of small soaps. “Good morning. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

My eyes opened fully as I stretched my arms out and sat up, unwillingly yawning while I let the light settle with my eyes. “No. I woke up on my own. What time is it?”

“A little after ten,” he said. “I figured I’d let you sleep in.”

I groaned. “I appreciate it, but I needed to get my lazy ass up.”

“You had a hard night.”

“So did you,” I reminded him. “I mean, you fucking picked Mr. Johnson up. That man is heavy.”

Sidney scoffed. “I just pushed him. It’s not as hard as picking him up.”

Though he was playing it all off, I could tell last night was hard on him. Physically, he was fine, but like me, it emotionally drained him. We barely managed to get changed into our pajamas before we crashed, so I knew it was tough for him to go through.

I had to say something. “Thank you, Sidney.”

“You don’t have to thank me every time I do something for you,” he said. “Especially when we’re in a relationship.”

My eyebrows pulled together. “Yeah, I . . . I know, but I always will.”

He caught my hesitation immediately because those liquid brown eyes moved up to meet mine, and a coy smile spread across those soft lips. “What?”

I shrugged. “It’s hard to remember we’re not in a relationship.”

“I sometimes forget myself,” he admitted. “But, like I said, doesn’t count until we go on a date. And no. The skating rink doesn’t count.”

“What’s it gonna take to get you to understand I’m not just in love with you because you’re my own personal superhero?”

My choice of words brought a blush across his face and a huge smile to his lips. “I, uh . . . I’m almost convinced. I just don’t have time to properly take you out yet.”

I cocked one eyebrow and crawled to the edge of the bed he had his duffel bag sitting. “That sounds to me like you’re convinced.”

He smirked. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Miss Dixon.”

I had never heard Sidney use my last name when referring to me, and to be honest, I wasn’t even sure he knew my last name. I guess it made sense that he did, considering the funeral called my dad Mr. Dixon, but it just hadn’t registered in my head that he knew it.

“Oh, before I forget, don’t make plans Tuesday,” Sidney said just as a comfortable silence fell upon us. “I’m taking you somewhere, but it’s a surprise, alright?”

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Really? Alright, I guess. I should warn you. I’m not good with surprises.”

“Well, sweetheart, you’re gonna have to get used to them,” he said, a smug grin brightening his already incandescent face. “I’m gonna surprise and spoil the shit outta you.”

I glared at him, but he just started to laugh. “Of course you are.”

“You do realize that ninety-eight percent of women would love to be spoiled like you’re gonna be, don’t you?” he asked, though I was surprised me managed through his laughter.

“Well, I guess I’m that fucked up two percent who feels absolutely horrible when you do anything for me,” I sighed. “I mean . . . you’re letting Suzie stay here. You’re letting Matty and me stay here . . . and despite my being a total burden on you, you don’t even care.”

I was completely caught off guard when Sidney put his hands around my face and held onto me tightly, yet with such delicacy that it didn’t hurt at all. As a matter of fact, I could feel my heart soaring while his melted eyes captured mine in the sea of chocolate.

“Listen to me,” he whispered, and his freshly minty breath intoxicated my entire body to the point it melted into a big pile of goop held up only by Sidney’s strong hands. “You’re not a burden, and even if you were, you’re always gonna be my sexy little burden. Besides, Suzie’s not so bad. She helps around the house a lot, and Matty? Really?”

I tried to look away, but it was pretty hard considering he had my face turned towards him. “I just—”

“You didn’t let me finish,” he interrupted before I could start to protest again. “And I’m not sure how you think you’re a burden. Cuddling with you every night is probably my favorite part of the day. No matter how tired and stressed I am, I know you’re gonna lay beside me and hold onto me all night, and everything just kinda melts from my mind. I’ve been sleeping beyond great lately, and that’s because of you. So I’d say you’re the farthest thing from a burden.”

I couldn’t help but smile up at him as I stiffly nodded. “Okay . . . I’m not gonna agree with you, but I’m glad you don’t think I am.”

“I know you’re not,” he corrected, and with a sigh, he let one hand fall from my face. “I gotta get going. We’re gonna practice a couple hours before the flight.”

“Well, play hard and win for me,” I said, and this time, my huge smile was completely intentional. It was meant to make him smile and have confidence in himself.

I think it worked, but the most wonderful thing . . . almost happened. With one hand on my face, his face mere inches away from mine, Sidney almost forgot that we still weren’t together.

When the fallen hand came back up to rest on my cheek, he pulled his face even closer to mine, and with his lips not even a centimeter away, everything inside of me set off like a criminal in a high speed car chase. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even process everything, but the moment was short lived.

Sidney caught himself and kissed my cheek instead.

It seemed to be as hard for him as it was for me, but unlike him, I pouted about it. He only laughed at the sight of me pouting, but his breaths came out rugged and uneven.

“You wanted to,” I said. “So why not?”

Before responding, he took a few steps back and put his duffel bag over his shoulder. His garment bag hung on the doorknob, and he put that on his free wrist before pulling the bedroom door open and looking back to me.

“Until we’re more . . . I can’t handle that.”

“You do realize that you’re one of the strangest males in the world, don’t you?” I asked.

He smirked. “Maybe, but that’s part of my charm.”

And I hated and loved that he was right.

Geno came and picked Sidney up, so with a goodbye kiss placed on my forehead, he left for the next couple days.

I hadn’t expected Suzie to be awake. She was used to going to bed late and getting up late because that was how Chuck was.

She was up, though, and looking nervously at her feet while she bit down on her bottom lip and avoided any kind of eye contact with me.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she murmured, and by the way she looked away yet again, I realized she was in no mood to talk about whatever was bothering her.

Despite the fact I was in the mood to hear it, she wasn’t going to share.

“Is Matty up?”

The question alarmed her more than it should, made her jump as if I had popped a balloon of some sort right by her ear. “What? Why would I know?”

My eyebrows rose. “I wondered if you might’ve seen him . . . .”

Her eyebrows pulled together, but once again, her gaze moved away from me and back towards her room. “Uh . . . yeah, I think I heard him up earlier. I’m . . . I’m gonna go back to my room.”

And very carefully, as if she was walking on thin ice, Suzie stepped back towards her room. She had to pass by Matty’s first, and when she did, it was like walking past the lion’s den or something. Her careful steps got even more careful and timid, and for a second, I was worried what might happen if Matty heard her.

What was such the big deal? Why was she all of the sudden afraid of Matty?

Turns out, it worked both ways.

Matty didn’t come out of his room and play Ghosts, not until Suzie went back into her room and closed the door. When Matty came in the living room, his eyes did a thorough scan of the place before he settled into the couch.

Something wasn’t right.

While Matty distracted himself with the game of Infected he was kicking butt at, I climbed over the couch and jumped down beside him. It was hard not to look at him while I did, but I managed by focusing on the epic throwing knife kill he got on some guy hiding in the corner.

“What the fuck is going on?”

Matty’s eyes tightened, but they didn’t move away from the screen—even though the game was over. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just playing Ghosts.”

“Cut the bullshit, Matty, and just tell me,” I said. “I’m gonna get it out of you anyways, and you know it. If you don’t tell me, I’m gonna assume you guys fucked and then commence to freaking out. So, if that’s not what it is, please, feel free to tell me otherwise.”

His eyes were wide as he turned to look at me. “W-What? No! Why w-would you think th-that was what happened?”

“Because you two are avoiding each other like the other has some kind of cooties or something!” I exclaimed. “What else am I supposed to think? I know you didn’t piss her off because I’ve seen that. This is totally different. What. The. Fuck. Happened?”

“We just drank, that’s all,” Matty mumbled, but he was able to distract himself with the game that started up. “While you and Sid were at the skating rink.”

I took the controller from his hands and started the game in his place. While the Infected countdown went on, I followed behind this one guy, ready to stab him in the back if I was the Infected, or vice versa. It was easy to get Matty’s attention this way because he wanted his controller back.

“That’s bullshit!”

“Alright, fine!” he very quickly submitted. “I kissed her, okay?!”