Status: This is for Brinlee, so I hope you guys enjoy, too! :)
All I'll Ever Need
35. Weird Dreams and Cold Showers
No one knew the man skating to the center of the ice to drop the puck. They saw a man in a Pens jersey with “Dixon” and the number ninety-one on the back, but they didn’t actually know who he was.
I knew . . . and maybe they would know one day, but for right now . . . Matty skated to the center of the ice.
Suzie and I were hugging each other so tightly as we watched Matty start the game, and you better believe we were crying. People around us looked at us like we were absolutely crazy, but the crazy thing would be not crying in that situation.
Matty was doing more than walking.
I was actually thankful I got home before Sidney. After stopping by the locker room after the game, I found the urge to kiss him so unbelievably impossible that if he hadn’t left in such a hurry—off for the congratulatory speech—I would’ve done it right there, in front of everyone.
So being able to climb into bed and fall asleep before he even got home made it possible to contain myself.
Just one more night.
I wasn’t a dreamer in the literal sense. When I slept, my head was empty, and I fully relaxed, but not this night. There was too much excitement, too much I had to hold in and put on delay. I just found myself dreaming.
It was quite the dream, too . . . at least at first. Everything was like a cartoon, and the dream had a medieval setting with a dragon attacking the kingdom. Me, the fair maiden in distress; Sidney, the handsome knight answering to the maiden’s brother’s plea for help—Matty, of course—and it was going so wonderfully. Sidney found me in the dragon’s den, and just as he went to slay the dragon, his body protecting me the entire time, an even fairer maiden caught his eye from the other side of the beast’s lair.
I had known she was there, but I hoped he wouldn’t see her until after the dragon was slain. Instead, he saw her before, and Sidney left my side to rescue the fairest maiden of them all.
Would you believe that Snow White was in my dream? She was in my dream, and because she was in my dream, Sidney got so distracted by her and her perfection that he didn’t even notice when the dragon cornered me and swooped in for the kill.
I couldn’t believe this trippy piece of shit dream, but I woke up in a cold sweat with a drenched face—drenched with both tears and sweat.
It was too early for Sidney to be up after a game. He didn’t exactly sleep in like a normal person, but he didn’t wake up at seven forty-six in the morning either.
I managed to sneak out of bed without waking him, and I immediately made a quiet dash for the bathroom. I didn’t have to pee, though I needed to shower after all that unnecessary sweating I did, but I needed privacy.
I had to think.
What was that dream about? Surely Sidney wouldn’t leave me to be eaten by a dragon, especially because some pretty girl batted her eyelashes. Even if the girl managed to steal his heart, he would be logical and slay the dragon before running over to her.
It was awful, but I wasn’t really a dreamer. Maybe I needed some more practice.
I got a cold rag and used it to wipe the sweat off of my exposed skin—most of it. Here lately, Sidney managed to convince me it was okay to sleep in just a tank top and underwear, so literally most of my skin had a thick layer of sweat covering every inch.
The clothed parts were soaked, too, so clearly Sidney snuggled with me last night.
Considering I woke up in his arms . . . not surprising.
I turned on the shower, twisting the knob so the water was much colder than I usually liked it. It wasn’t so cold that it might give me hypothermia, but it wasn’t hot and steamy.
My tense muscles probably needed a hot shower, but the rest of my scorching skin begged for cold relief. If I couldn’t make the fear and anxiety go away on the inside, I could at least make them go away on the outside—for a little while anyways.
The cold shower was longer than I thought it would be. I figured since it was cold, I’d only be in there a few minutes, but it turned into a normal length shower—fifteen minutes. After shampooing my thick hair twice, shaving, and washing off my body, I spent at least five minutes just thinking, trying to piece together the odd and unfortunate dream from the night before.
What could it mean? Sure, I knew I was no supermodel, and Sidney could easily have a supermodel. As he said when we had our first serious conversation, though, he wasn’t like that. To Sidney, what was on the inside was most important, and even if I didn’t think what was inside me was so great, Sidney did.
So Snow White crying on the other side of the cave wouldn’t catch his eye. Even if she was a Victoria’s Secret model standing there completely naked, he would slay the dragon and save us both . . . because that’s who Sidney was.
Afterwards, I’m sure the not-so-fair maiden would feel ashamed that she wasn’t the only one rescued, and feel even more shame when she realized that meant the other was left to die, but the thing the not-so-fair maiden needed to remember was that the knight went into the lair to save her. He went to save her, and he did just that.
The fairest maiden was just a bonus for someone else.
It wasn’t fair to Sidney for me to think the way that I was. How many times had he proven just how devoted to me he was? Just last week, some of the guys from the team invited him to a “Single Pengile” night, or whatever . . . but we were already watching something Sidney had absolutely no interest in watching to begin with.
Not only that, he said, “Come on, guys, even if nothing’s official, it wouldn’t feel right. Technically I am single, but I’m really not.”
And instead of going and hanging out with a bunch of guys at Beau’s house, drinking beer and playing video games until their thumbs fell off while they talked about hot supermodels or some puck bunny trying to get them to take her home, Sidney stayed home and watched The Spectacular Now with me.
What more proof did I need?
With a sigh, I finished towel drying myself and stepped out of the shower. The heat had come on, so it was comfortable getting out. My fear had settled, and I was cool.
Didn’t mean I was any less anxious, though. We were still going out tonight, and it was gonna be my first real date. It was nerve wrecking and also something most twenty-two year old women didn’t have to worry about. By my age, most women have gone on at least one date.
And the ones who hadn’t could better imagine my anxiety.
I stepped out of the bathroom with the towel tightly wrapped around me, hoping Sidney was still asleep. He wasn’t, nor was he in the room, so while I was alone in his room, I carefully tiptoed my way into the closet, where I still just had a big duffel bag of my stuff hiding in there.
But, of course, when I closed the closet door . . . turns out that was exactly where Sid was.
My eyes were wide as he turned to face me, and I’m sure I was the same glowing red color as he was. “Shit! I’m sorry, Sid. I didn’t realize you were in here.”
“I, uh . . . was, uh . . . gonna . . . damn, Mika.”
That didn’t help my blush as I looked down to my toes that were in serious need of some color. I knew Suzie was gonna go all out with her “shopping and makeover” plans today, so I imagined my toes would get some dolling up.
“What?”
His fingers ever so delicately rubbed down my cheeks, down my jaw line, and my eyes fluttered shut. In the most delicate motion, he began drawing circles across my skin, putting me in a mindset I didn’t remember ever being . . . at least this intensely.
Uncomfortably warm in places I wasn’t usually warm . . . burning up all over my body . . . and I had no intentions of moving from where I stood.
Sidney let out a soft breath before inhaling sharply. “I . . . should probably go.”
“You don’t have—I-I mean, y-yeah.” My eyes were wide as I quickly steered the conversation on the path it needed to get back on. We hadn’t even kissed, and my mind was already rolling around in the gutter with Sidney.
His mind seemed to be in the same place, and we were beyond embarrassed about it.
“I, uh, just wanna say that, uh . . . there’s really no rush on, erm, that,” he said, though as soon as he did, he immediately pulled his hands up to hide his face. “Fuck.”
I gave him a sheepish smile. “Thanks, Sid. Same goes for you.”
“Oh, I promise, it won’t be rushing anything,” he breathed, and his hands fell back down by his side as he took a good long look at the way I stood there, with a towel as my only clothes and hair just barely not dripping. “I can’t wait.” Once again, his eyes shot wide open. “I-I mean, I can wait. Obviously that’s not all I’m looking forward to with you. Just this date in general, being finally able to call you mine . . . that’s what I’m looking forward to the most.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry. I know what you mean. I do know you, ya know.”
“Right.” He smiled. “So, uh, what are you doing today?”
“Do you mean before or after tonight?”
“Both,” he said, and he laughed.
My lips pressed together. “Well, Suzie wants to go shopping for a bit. Apparently I don’t have anything nice enough to wear tonight, so she’s taking me out. As far as after . . . I don’t know. We’ll see.”
Sidney looked bashful again, no longer overwhelmed with desire. Even though I was still standing here in a towel, he was able to ignore that, and the adorable Pens captain was Chicago Blackhawks red as he turned his face down towards his feet.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said. “I’m gonna go workout some, and then I’m hanging out at Geno’s with Beau and Letang. I have reservations tonight at seven, so I guess we’ll leave here around six thirty?”
“Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll make sure I’m back and ready by then.”
The smile that pulled across Sidney’s face was no ordinary smile. This smile was something much brighter than I remember ever seeing. Being, ya know, Sidney, he smiled a lot, and the smiles were usually radiant ones. This, however, was beyond usual for even Sidney. It was like I was looking at the sun, but I wasn’t going blind.
As a matter of fact, I couldn’t look away.
“I’ll see you then.”
I knew . . . and maybe they would know one day, but for right now . . . Matty skated to the center of the ice.
Suzie and I were hugging each other so tightly as we watched Matty start the game, and you better believe we were crying. People around us looked at us like we were absolutely crazy, but the crazy thing would be not crying in that situation.
Matty was doing more than walking.
I was actually thankful I got home before Sidney. After stopping by the locker room after the game, I found the urge to kiss him so unbelievably impossible that if he hadn’t left in such a hurry—off for the congratulatory speech—I would’ve done it right there, in front of everyone.
So being able to climb into bed and fall asleep before he even got home made it possible to contain myself.
Just one more night.
I wasn’t a dreamer in the literal sense. When I slept, my head was empty, and I fully relaxed, but not this night. There was too much excitement, too much I had to hold in and put on delay. I just found myself dreaming.
It was quite the dream, too . . . at least at first. Everything was like a cartoon, and the dream had a medieval setting with a dragon attacking the kingdom. Me, the fair maiden in distress; Sidney, the handsome knight answering to the maiden’s brother’s plea for help—Matty, of course—and it was going so wonderfully. Sidney found me in the dragon’s den, and just as he went to slay the dragon, his body protecting me the entire time, an even fairer maiden caught his eye from the other side of the beast’s lair.
I had known she was there, but I hoped he wouldn’t see her until after the dragon was slain. Instead, he saw her before, and Sidney left my side to rescue the fairest maiden of them all.
Would you believe that Snow White was in my dream? She was in my dream, and because she was in my dream, Sidney got so distracted by her and her perfection that he didn’t even notice when the dragon cornered me and swooped in for the kill.
I couldn’t believe this trippy piece of shit dream, but I woke up in a cold sweat with a drenched face—drenched with both tears and sweat.
It was too early for Sidney to be up after a game. He didn’t exactly sleep in like a normal person, but he didn’t wake up at seven forty-six in the morning either.
I managed to sneak out of bed without waking him, and I immediately made a quiet dash for the bathroom. I didn’t have to pee, though I needed to shower after all that unnecessary sweating I did, but I needed privacy.
I had to think.
What was that dream about? Surely Sidney wouldn’t leave me to be eaten by a dragon, especially because some pretty girl batted her eyelashes. Even if the girl managed to steal his heart, he would be logical and slay the dragon before running over to her.
It was awful, but I wasn’t really a dreamer. Maybe I needed some more practice.
I got a cold rag and used it to wipe the sweat off of my exposed skin—most of it. Here lately, Sidney managed to convince me it was okay to sleep in just a tank top and underwear, so literally most of my skin had a thick layer of sweat covering every inch.
The clothed parts were soaked, too, so clearly Sidney snuggled with me last night.
Considering I woke up in his arms . . . not surprising.
I turned on the shower, twisting the knob so the water was much colder than I usually liked it. It wasn’t so cold that it might give me hypothermia, but it wasn’t hot and steamy.
My tense muscles probably needed a hot shower, but the rest of my scorching skin begged for cold relief. If I couldn’t make the fear and anxiety go away on the inside, I could at least make them go away on the outside—for a little while anyways.
The cold shower was longer than I thought it would be. I figured since it was cold, I’d only be in there a few minutes, but it turned into a normal length shower—fifteen minutes. After shampooing my thick hair twice, shaving, and washing off my body, I spent at least five minutes just thinking, trying to piece together the odd and unfortunate dream from the night before.
What could it mean? Sure, I knew I was no supermodel, and Sidney could easily have a supermodel. As he said when we had our first serious conversation, though, he wasn’t like that. To Sidney, what was on the inside was most important, and even if I didn’t think what was inside me was so great, Sidney did.
So Snow White crying on the other side of the cave wouldn’t catch his eye. Even if she was a Victoria’s Secret model standing there completely naked, he would slay the dragon and save us both . . . because that’s who Sidney was.
Afterwards, I’m sure the not-so-fair maiden would feel ashamed that she wasn’t the only one rescued, and feel even more shame when she realized that meant the other was left to die, but the thing the not-so-fair maiden needed to remember was that the knight went into the lair to save her. He went to save her, and he did just that.
The fairest maiden was just a bonus for someone else.
It wasn’t fair to Sidney for me to think the way that I was. How many times had he proven just how devoted to me he was? Just last week, some of the guys from the team invited him to a “Single Pengile” night, or whatever . . . but we were already watching something Sidney had absolutely no interest in watching to begin with.
Not only that, he said, “Come on, guys, even if nothing’s official, it wouldn’t feel right. Technically I am single, but I’m really not.”
And instead of going and hanging out with a bunch of guys at Beau’s house, drinking beer and playing video games until their thumbs fell off while they talked about hot supermodels or some puck bunny trying to get them to take her home, Sidney stayed home and watched The Spectacular Now with me.
What more proof did I need?
With a sigh, I finished towel drying myself and stepped out of the shower. The heat had come on, so it was comfortable getting out. My fear had settled, and I was cool.
Didn’t mean I was any less anxious, though. We were still going out tonight, and it was gonna be my first real date. It was nerve wrecking and also something most twenty-two year old women didn’t have to worry about. By my age, most women have gone on at least one date.
And the ones who hadn’t could better imagine my anxiety.
I stepped out of the bathroom with the towel tightly wrapped around me, hoping Sidney was still asleep. He wasn’t, nor was he in the room, so while I was alone in his room, I carefully tiptoed my way into the closet, where I still just had a big duffel bag of my stuff hiding in there.
But, of course, when I closed the closet door . . . turns out that was exactly where Sid was.
My eyes were wide as he turned to face me, and I’m sure I was the same glowing red color as he was. “Shit! I’m sorry, Sid. I didn’t realize you were in here.”
“I, uh . . . was, uh . . . gonna . . . damn, Mika.”
That didn’t help my blush as I looked down to my toes that were in serious need of some color. I knew Suzie was gonna go all out with her “shopping and makeover” plans today, so I imagined my toes would get some dolling up.
“What?”
His fingers ever so delicately rubbed down my cheeks, down my jaw line, and my eyes fluttered shut. In the most delicate motion, he began drawing circles across my skin, putting me in a mindset I didn’t remember ever being . . . at least this intensely.
Uncomfortably warm in places I wasn’t usually warm . . . burning up all over my body . . . and I had no intentions of moving from where I stood.
Sidney let out a soft breath before inhaling sharply. “I . . . should probably go.”
“You don’t have—I-I mean, y-yeah.” My eyes were wide as I quickly steered the conversation on the path it needed to get back on. We hadn’t even kissed, and my mind was already rolling around in the gutter with Sidney.
His mind seemed to be in the same place, and we were beyond embarrassed about it.
“I, uh, just wanna say that, uh . . . there’s really no rush on, erm, that,” he said, though as soon as he did, he immediately pulled his hands up to hide his face. “Fuck.”
I gave him a sheepish smile. “Thanks, Sid. Same goes for you.”
“Oh, I promise, it won’t be rushing anything,” he breathed, and his hands fell back down by his side as he took a good long look at the way I stood there, with a towel as my only clothes and hair just barely not dripping. “I can’t wait.” Once again, his eyes shot wide open. “I-I mean, I can wait. Obviously that’s not all I’m looking forward to with you. Just this date in general, being finally able to call you mine . . . that’s what I’m looking forward to the most.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry. I know what you mean. I do know you, ya know.”
“Right.” He smiled. “So, uh, what are you doing today?”
“Do you mean before or after tonight?”
“Both,” he said, and he laughed.
My lips pressed together. “Well, Suzie wants to go shopping for a bit. Apparently I don’t have anything nice enough to wear tonight, so she’s taking me out. As far as after . . . I don’t know. We’ll see.”
Sidney looked bashful again, no longer overwhelmed with desire. Even though I was still standing here in a towel, he was able to ignore that, and the adorable Pens captain was Chicago Blackhawks red as he turned his face down towards his feet.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said. “I’m gonna go workout some, and then I’m hanging out at Geno’s with Beau and Letang. I have reservations tonight at seven, so I guess we’ll leave here around six thirty?”
“Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll make sure I’m back and ready by then.”
The smile that pulled across Sidney’s face was no ordinary smile. This smile was something much brighter than I remember ever seeing. Being, ya know, Sidney, he smiled a lot, and the smiles were usually radiant ones. This, however, was beyond usual for even Sidney. It was like I was looking at the sun, but I wasn’t going blind.
As a matter of fact, I couldn’t look away.
“I’ll see you then.”
♠ ♠ ♠
The lyrics are from Firework by Katy Perry. :)
So it's been forever since I updated, and I do apologize. Things have been crazy busy with work, softball, etc . . . no real excuse, only explaining myself. I should've been updating more because I have had time to write. I just haven't written this story. I buckled down, though, and made myself write. For you guys since you're such awesome readers. :D
Let me know what you think. It's just a filler until the date (sorry! x3) but I think it's cute. And her dream is super weird.