In the Shallows

I walked alongside Rick and Shane, making out way back towards the farm and our camp. The tension between the two of them was absolutely ridiculous. What had been an innocent and playful talk about the good ole days had turned into a thick argument over the status of Sophia. I couldn't help but agree with both of them when they had turned to me and put me on the spot and that had only made it worse. Both of them going off about how I could only choose one side. But, how could I? Apart of me really wanted her to be alive and then the other part of me felt like she was either walking dead like the rest of them or in one of their stomachs. Both halves of me wanted to be on Shane's side and Rick's side.

I wanted to believe she was alive, I really did. It would make me feel so much better about this world. If a twelve year old girl made it in the woods by herself for a few days than I wouldn't feel like I had to constantly look over my shoulder and keep one eye open at night. But, then the other side hoped that she was dead. I didn't want her to be scared or alone. I knew what that felt like. And that's no way to live and especially to be by yourself in the woods.

I had to have been around her age or perhaps a year or two older when I was forced to find my way back home. My daddy had taken me to the city to run some errands, but got side tracked from the flow of drugs and left me. Stranded. Alone. Granted I was in an area full of people and not alone in the woods, but I might as well have been. Those city folk never turned a single eye in my direction when I called out for help. They just kept walking and brushed off the scared little girl. I had been roaming the streets for two days and half before I was able to find some change and dialed the Dixon resident. It was around the time Merle was locked up for another petty bar fight and Daryl had stolen his bike to come get me. The only difference was that I had a way to get back to the people I knew, Sophia? She was stuck, stranded, and I yearned for her to not be afraid.

We were walking on the dirt road with the house right in our line of sight when I felt this sickening pang erupt throughout my body. I stopped dead in my tracks and grabbed at my stomach, I bent over and gasped. It had felt like the wind had been knocked straight out of my lungs.

"Whoa, Alex, you okay?" Rick asked, concern washing over his tone and his face. He was quick to keep me from falling on the ground.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, trying to regain my composure, "Something's not right." My eyes scanned the ground, it was that feeling, that feeling that something, somewhere, something didn't go as planned.

Shane shifted his stance, looking away from us, "It's probably hunger. All of us haven't been eating well.

I shook my head, standing straight up, "It's not hunger, I know what that feels like." I swallowed hard, "I feel like something's wrong."

Rick raised an eyebrow, "Maybe we should take you to Hershel, you can talk with him about-"

"-Not inside of me, you idiot." My breathing became shallow and rapid, my hands started to tremble. It was consuming my brain and I wanted it out, I tried to shake it out but I couldn't. "I can't explain it, I just get these feelings in the pit of my stomach." I narrowed my eyes at them, "Don't you look at me like that, it's no different then a gut feeling. It's a women's intuition. I got a feeling when we-" I looked at Rick, "-right before we came back to the camp and all those geeks were there, when we first met Jenner and look how that turned out. I got it right before Sophia went missing and now. Something's not right."

Shane rubbed his head, shaking it as well, "Look I don't believe in that kind of shit. It's hunger and that's that. Go on about what you think it might be, but I don't want to hear it." He walked off, leaving me and Rick standing there. Rick patted my shoulders and followed after him.

I closed my eyes and tried to convince myself that everything was okay, but in the back of my mind I kept wandering to what caused that panic sensation. I eventually walked back to the camp, sitting in the same chair I had woken up earlier that morning. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on my knees, staring into the burned black ashed pit. I couldn't tell you how long it had been that I sat staring at into the abyss of darkness, I honestly didn't know. I had lost track of time way before we ever came to this farm, funny isn't it? Before, we were consumed by time and now it just didn't exist. Just the position of the sun was what told us when things needed to be done.

I woke out of my trance and started to acknowledge everyone, my mind scattering when I didn't see the face I wanted to see. I stood up and shook out the tingling feeling in my legs and started walking around. I saw Glenn walking out of the RV, "Hey, Glenn?"

He seemed to be in a funk but he quickly snapped out of it and walked towards me, "Hey, Alex. What's up?"

I chewed on my lip, "Did Daryl come back yet?"

Glenn looked around him, a mixture of confusion and concern washing over his body, "N-no. I haven't see him since you guys all left."

I nodded, patting his shoulder, "Thanks." I went to walk towards the others but not before Andrea started shouting out that there was a walker. I spun around my eyes trying to adjust but it was too far of a distance. I watched as everyone started to grab weapons but I just bolted after them. With as many weapons they had brought, I was sure I wouldn't need one. A noise escaped from my lips the moment we reached the 'walker', I scanned him up and down, my mouth hanging open. Jesus what the hell did he do to himself, I went to run but Shane held a firm grip around my waist, "Shane, let me go!" He sternly whispered something in my ear but I wasn't having it, my brain had just ignored his words.

Rick pointed his gun towards Daryl, while Glenn spoke up, "Is that Daryl." I flashed him an annoyed look, obviously it was him. I struggled against Shane's grip but ultimately failed.

Daryl took a step forward, his tone aggressive, "That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head. Ya gonna pull the trigger or what?" I screamed out when I heard a shot and Daryl flying down to the ground, I blanked out. I collapsed on the ground and watched as Rick and Shane rush towards him, my chest heaving with relief as I heard him mutter out, "I was kiddin'."

Glenn helped me up and we started walking forward with Andrea and Dale running towards us, Andrea crying out, "Is he dead?"

Rick gritted his teeth, "Unconscious, You just grazed him."

Glenn's pointed at Daryl, his voice squeaking, "But look at him. What the hell happened? He's wearing ears!"

Rick ripped the necklace of ears and shoved it in his shirt pocket, "Let's keep that to ourselves."

"Guys? Isn't this Sophia's?" T-Dog called out, we all spun around and stopped, looking at the little doll that was held in his hands.

Anger boiled inside of me, Daryl had potentially found a lead and Andrea had shot him, I was thankful that it wasn't as serious as it could have been, but I was still pretty damned pissed. Our eyes locked onto one another, she bit her lip, taking a step forward, "Alex, I'm so sorry. I didn-"

I have never in a million years slapped someone with intent to hurt them, I've thought about it plenty of times, but I never acted upon it. I didn't even think I even had the balls to actually strike someone, but here I stood with my hand stinging from the contact and her face stricken with shock. I felt Glenn pulling me away and words being dispersed throughout the air, but I couldn't comprehend them. My eyes stayed glued on her, "Fuck you, Andrea." I spat.

I ripped away from Glenn's grip and broke eye contact, pushing past her, I made my way back to the house. I raked my hands through my hair and collapsed on the ground. This was all too much to handle right now and I couldn't make sense of it. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, I knew it was wrong for me to slap Andrea, and although it felt sort of nice, I knew I was going to have to apologize.