In the Shallows

I leaned against the door frame and watched Hershel finish up with Daryl, he looked up and gave me a slight small smile, "I'll leave you two to speak." He set down the needles and bandages and walked out the room, closing the door behind him when I moved further into the room. I blew at the hair that fell out of my ponytail, swallowing hard, I sat at the edge of the bed, my eyes squinting towards him, boring a hole in his head.

He spoke up, his voice thick, "Heard ya gave Andrea a good one."

I pressed my lips, "She caught me in a moment. I feel horrible about it."

Daryl snorted, "Why? She shot me. She deserved to get slapped by ya. Wish I coulda' seen it."

I giggled, "You would've been proud. Little girl Lex actin' all big and tough." We both snorted after my response, "I'm really glad that you're okay. I mean you might be in pain," I peered over and looked at his side, "but at least your alive. I felt it, though. I knew something went wrong and I'm just really glad you're okay." We sat in silence for a few moments before Carol opened the door with a tray.

Carol set the tray down on the night stand, looking over, "How ya feel?"

Daryl shifted under the covers, "As good as I look."

I could see the hurt in her eyes when he didn't look at her, "I brought you some dinner, you must be starving." She flickered a glance towards me, "You too, Alex. I figured you didn't want to leave, so." Carol looked back towards Daryl, she leaned down and placed a small and delicate kiss on his head.
He flinched from her kiss, "Watch out, I got stitches."

Carol pressed her lips together, "You need to know something," Daryl turned to face her, "you did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life."

Daryl turned back to face me, but his eyes avoided my stare, "I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done."

Carol smiled, "I know. You're every bit as good as them. Every bit." And with that she left the room.

I chewed on my bottom lip, scooting closer towards him, placing the pillow in my lap and moving his head. This felt like deja-vu, the whole C.D.C. incident. I stroked his hair, "Why do you do that?"

He grunted, "What."

"Throw away a compliment. It's one of your worst habits." I said softly, cherishing this moment. If it weren't for the pain he was in, I doubt he would have ever let me do this kind of thing. I was trying to comfort him and it was shocking to know that he was accepting it.

"Dunno, ain't deserve it, I guess."

I scoffed, "You're outta your mind, Daryl Dixon. She's right, you know. You are as good as them. No matter what." He just grunted and ignored me, I smiled, still stroking and combing my fingers through his sandy brown hair. " So, Carol seems nice-"

"-Don't." He groaned.

I pursued my lips, "I'm being serious, Daryl. I think she likes you."

He turned his head, looking up towards me, his blue eyes crinkling against the dimmed light, "Stop." I shrugged, he lifted himself off of my lap and sat upright, looking down at himself, he flickered a look towards me, "Help me shower."

I choked on the intake of air, "What?"

Daryl rolled his eyes, "Ya heard me."

I watched him cautiously as he limped out of bed, he stood as straight as he could before he gave me another look. I slowly got off the bed, squinting my eyes, "Exactly what do you want me to do?" I walked over towards him and helped him into the bathroom that was joined in.

His eyes locked on to mine, his blue eyes filling with lust and that sent a million tiny little electric shocks through my body. He stepped a little closer to me, his body swaying from the pain, he closed his eyes, his hand finding my jaw, "Make the pain go away." I didn't have time to respond or even really act upon it, all I felt was his lips on mine and my brain went all fuzzy.

My eyes fluttered when he pulled away, his face still inches away from mine. I felt his hands reach for the hem of my shirt, before he had the chance to pull it completely over my head, I stopped him. "What are we doing?" I breathed.

Never has Daryl's voice sounded so sexy and thrilling then it did at that moment, "Ya want this or not?" I eyed him suspiciously as I tugged my shirt over my head, leaving me standing in a bra and jeans. His hand reached up and traced over a pink scar underneath my left collarbone, I looked down, the unwanted memories of that scar gracing my brain.

It was a few years ago, during the few moments of my older years when Merle wasn't locked up. He was part of biker gang, Savage Sons, and that's exactly what they were. Wild, crude, fierce, and rough. I don't know what had possessed me to tag along that night, it could have been that I just really needed a drink or some other ridiculous reason I had going through my mind. I was used to being called a whore and a dirty slut from Merle, I think he was partially jealous that I rather much spend my time with Daryl and I had denied his advances, but if you ever thought about it. Merle was a good ten or so years older than me, of course I would have denied him when I was younger. But, I wasn't prepared for the names that his so called friends were calling out to me. I had felt absolutely violated and none of them had even laid a finger on me.

After an hour or two of putting up with their constant name calling, I decided it was best for me to go. I had convinced Daryl to stay with the guys, telling him that I was more than capable of walking home myself. But, I wasn't. One of the assholes had followed me home and did things to me that I became very afraid of the slightest gestures made towards me. He had not only violated me but he played with his knife a little, digging it into my skin and dragging the blade. If it weren't for Daryl and Merle bursting through the bathroom door, I probably would have been dead. It was kind of a blur after that, I did recall Daryl cradling me and trying to stop the bleeding while I heard Merle and his string of inconsiderate curse words while he beat the daylights out the guy. I was an emotional wreck for a while and I sometimes forget that it's memories like those that are burned deep inside his mind which causes him to act a certain way towards me.

I trembled underneath his touch, he brought me closer to him, our bare skin touching each other. His skin was hot to the touch against my cold skin and somehow it was comforting but a slight trickle of fear sneaked its way in. Since that night I hadn't really been touched by a man, it scarred me too much and standing in front of Daryl so exposed, I felt my heart race in panic. I didn't think I could do it. My breath hitched, I gently pulled away from him, my voice barely a whisper, "I can't."

Daryl gave me a long hard look but he nodded, "Okay." He motioned towards the shower, "Help me turn it on."

I nodded, leaning over I turned it on. Reaching for my shirt, I slipped it back on. I helped him into the tub and bit my lip hard as I heard him wince and hiss in pain. I kept my head turned away from him though, I didn't want to see what I was potentially missing out on. It would drive me nuts and up the wall with anxiety. Once he was safely showering, I took a seat on the toilet and pulled my knees up to my chest, thinking if the choice I had just made was the right one.