In the Shallows

I sat on the front steps of the Greene house and rested my chin on my knees as I stared out into the fields. It was kind of peaceful and really beautiful if you didn't take into consideration of the world crashing around you. I started to think of where I'd be in this time and place if everything hadn't gone so terribly wrong. Would I still be a waitress at that dumb old diner? Would I have graduated from my night classes? Would I have found a worthy man and settled down? After thinking about it some more, I quickly realized that it had been almost a year since the world went to shit. I was amazed and partially frightened, that only meant that there were more years to possibly come.

This was our new life, it was like a constant game. Our names were tossed in a giant red cup and it was only going to be time till every last one of our names were pulled and we'd be walking dead like the rest of them. I smiled lightly as Glenn and Maggie made their way towards me and took a seat next to me. I had begun to wonder where everyone had gone off too. Dale had disappeared and I had heard Shane yelling at Glenn about him, Rick had gone off with Hershel, Andrea and T-Dog were down at the barn, and Daryl had gone off somewhere with Carol. It was Carl, Beth, Patricia and myself just sitting and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Glenn glanced down at the ice pack that rested on my wrist, "What happened?"

I shrugged, "I fell."

Maggie rose an eyebrow, "Is it bad?"

"No, your dad said I'd be good as gold later tonight. I just fell on it, that's all." I was partially glad they didn't push further into the matter, I gave Glenn a wink and mouthed the words, go get him tiger. It was obvious that Glenn and Maggie had been getting closer than they should be, I could tell by the way she blushed and smiled at him.

Maggie giggled as she glanced over towards Glenn, "Hey Alex, doesn't he look like he should be in line for the early bird special?" She motioned towards his head and I agreed with a laugh. She took Dale's hat off of him and pressed her lips from laughing again, "Go get your cap, I'll wash it for you, okay?" I had begun to wonder why he was wearing Dale's fishing hat but hearing Maggie say she would clean his own made me wonder if she had something to do with the reason he wasn't wearing his baseball cap.

He smiled and got up, he met up with Andrea and T-Dog who approached the rest of us, T-Dog sounding a little winded, I wouldn't blame him. This Georgia heat was something fierce, "Do you know what's going on?"

Andrea avoided my eyes as she looked at everyone else, "Where is everyone?"

Glenn rose an eyebrow, "You haven't seen Rick?"

She sighed, her tone getting antsy, "He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago."

And on cue, here came Carol and Daryl. I felt a slight twinge in the pit of my stomach watching the two of them appear out of nowhere. The famous Daryl tone was lurking in his voice, "Yeah we were, what the hell?"

Carol quickly caught up, "Rick told us he was going out."

He glanced towards Carol and then back at the rest of us, his eyes resting on mine for a quick moment before growling out, "Damn it, isn't anybody takin' this seriously?" He dramatically pointed in the other direction, "We got us a damn trail." We watched as Shane appear with the bag of guns, "Oh, here we go." Daryl started walking towards Shane, "What's all this?"

Shane handed him a rifle, "You with me, man?" Just hours ago they were about to rip each other to shreds and now they were acting as if none of that had happened. What was with men and fights? He continued as Daryl accepted the rifle, "Time to grow up. You already got yours?" He asked Andrea and she replied with asking where Dale was, "He's on his way."

T-Dog rose an eyebrow as Shane started handing off guns, "Thought we couldn't carry."

I nodded as he shoved one in my lap, I stood up fast, "Is Hershel okay with this?"

Shane ignored me and responded to T-Dog, "We can and we have to. Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe, but now we know it ain't." He looked straight at Glenn as he held out another rifle, "How 'bout you, man? You gonna protect yours?" I watched as he struggled for a moment before he accepted, he glanced at Maggie, "Can you shoot?"

She interjected, her tone angry, "Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight."

Carl had spoken up about having to stay to find Sophia and Lori came out of the house with her serious tone and her concerned motherly instinct. I heard Shane and Lori argue like an old married couple but my mind not comprehending what they were saying. My attention was not fully on them but past them, my eyes widening in horror, my mouth dropping slightly. "What the hell is Rick doing?"

Everyone spun around, T-Dog's voice ringing loud and clear through all our ears, "Oh shit." Out in the distance was that kid named Jimmy, Rick, Hershel, and two walkers being led onto the farm by a dog catcher pole. I was pushed slightly to the side by Shane who ran after them and the next thing I knew, my legs were carrying me towards the monsters.

I gasped for air the second we reached them, I had never seen the group run so fast in such a short distance. Shane started to yell, "Are you kidding me? You see? You see what they're holding onto?!" He pointed, getting everyone scared and panicked.

Hershel shouted out, "I see who I'm holdin' onto."

He scoffed, "No, man, you don't."

Rick struggled against the geek, "Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk."
We all followed, unsure of what to do and what to say. My mind was confused as to why Rick was guiding not one but two geeks into the barn. I thought we were trying to get rid of the problem not add to it. I squealed as everyone started to hold up their weapons, I didn't know how people were able to focus on the chaos that was happening right now. I couldn't follow and between the shouting and the walkers growling and snarling, I didn't catch every word that was being thrown back and forth.

All I did know was that it was getting unbelievably out of control, Shane was toxic, he needed to go. None of this would have been handled this way if it weren't for Shane, everyone would have probably settled for whatever Rick and Hershel had talked about. I shrieked out the second I heard gunshots being fired, I felt rough hands pulling me away from Shane, looking up, I was met with fierce blue eyes. I swallowed hard at the few seconds I heard nothing, my brain was blocking out the sounds and the chaotic mess. The second I tore my eyes away from his was when the sounds of screaming, yelling, and snarling came back and hit me with full force. I stumbled backwards but Daryl wasn't going to let me fall, he gave me a slight nod as we focused back on the matter.

Rick screamed out, his voice hoarse and tired from struggle, "Shane, enough!"

"Yeah, you're right, man." Shane walked towards the walker that was in Hershel's grasps, he pointed and aimed his gun right at her head, "That is enough." I jumped when he pulled the trigger, watching her fall and Hershel along with her. We all watched in horror as he continued to yell, "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!" If it weren't for Daryl giving me a slight look, I would have shot Shane myself. Lord only knows we all probably wanted too at that moment. "Enough! Living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Enough. Rick it ain't like it was before!"

I could see the veins bulging out the sides of his neck as he continued to scream on, "Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you gotta fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now!" I squealed as Shane ran full force towards the barn and yank on the locks. My mind went blank again, all the noise, all the sound, all the screaming, the words, everything just disappeared. I sucked in air but it didn't feel like anything was going in, I watched intently as he got the door open. My heart sunk as he banged on the door, "Come on! Come, we out here!"

The second they started to come out, I felt Daryl's rough hands pull me back, his voice was hoarse but he kept his gun aimed and he growled out, "Stay behind me, Lex."

I nodded only because I was so afraid, we hadn't seen this many walkers since the night Sophia went missing. I couldn't begin to explain how much fear and anxiety pulsed through my body. The sounds of crying, hissing, and gun fire rang in my ears. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't. As much as I wanted to shoot them, it didn't feel right. These things meant something to Hershel and the only thought that raced through my mind was that we were going to be good as dead because he was going to kick us off the farm.

I sunk to my knees as Daryl took out the last one, he glanced back at me, his eyes squinting from the sun, he took a step towards me but stopped short when we heard groaning coming from inside the barn. We all looked back, our hearts racing. Daryl started to aim but quickly dropped it. I looked around him, my heart sinking further than it already had, my eyes watered.

I could hear Carol sobbing and her quick footsteps, "Sophia?" She didn't make it very far, Daryl caught her, pulling her down to the ground, "Sophia!" I looked away, I couldn't take it. Of all the people and of all the times. I blinked back tears, my mouth twitching as I looked at the group. Everyone frozen, no one knowing exactly what to do. I hugged my knees as the tears started to roll down, she was such an innocent little girl.

Rick clenched his jaw, careful to hide to the guilt that he probably felt, he took steps forward, pushing past Shane. He raised his pistol, holding it out in front of him, hesitating. I whimpered as he pulled the trigger, he looked away, silence falling over us. The only thing in the air was Carol's sobs and the ringing of the all the gun fire. I felt hollow, a piece of me was gone. This whole time we had been searching, expressing our dearest hope and ambition. I wasn't sure what I was more upset about, the fact that we officially knew the answer to where Sophia was or the fact that Shane was right the whole time.

I just wanted to throw up. All this angst and pain was too much.