In the Shallows

Her sobs were all I could hear.

My eyes were glued to Sophia's body, my whole body trembled as I thought about how scared she must have been. I glanced over towards Carol, her body heaved over onto the ground with Daryl firmly grasping her, keeping her from running towards the one thing that would have ever mattered to her. I closed my eyes as I heard him tell her to not look. They snapped open when I heard her slapping his hands away from her, she gave us all a dirty look and walked off. Who could blame her?

I took Daryl's hand as he helped me up from the ground, he placed his hands on my shoulders as his eyes scanned me over. I was still mad but the pain and sadness reigned over, I just shrugged him off, walking a little bit forward. I took a deep breath as I examined her lifeless body from where I stood, it made me feel slightly better that she didn't suffer for long. Whatever geek that attacked her had managed to come from behind and bite straight into her carotid artery, she had to have bled out in seconds. I turned away. I already wanted this day to be over and done with.

I watched as Beth wailed with tears and pull away from Jimmy, stumbling over towards the dead walkers, she pushed Rick away from her as he tried to prevent her from going over but who were we to stop her? We just straight up killed these monsters, monsters that they used to know. She pushed another geek off of who I was assuming was her mother when she called out, "Ma?"

We all shrieked and jumped when the walker started snarling and grabbing at Beth. I watched in horror as hands were pulling Beth and the walker apart. Instinctively I grabbed onto Daryl, feeling his hand snake around my waist as he watched along with me. The second they had managed to get Beth free and after Andrea had swung a long pickax in it's head, I pulled away from him. I chewed my lip as I avoided his stare, like I said, I was still mad.

We all started to walk back towards the house and the camp, I rolled my eyes as Shane started to mouth off again, "We've been out. We've been combing these woods looking for her and she was in there all along? You knew."

Maggie was quick to defend herself and her family, "Leave us alone!"

"You knew and you kept it from us!" He spat.

Hershel's arm was wrapped tightly around Beth's waist, "I didn't know."

"That's bullshit, I think ya'll knew."

Maggie turned on her heel, "We didn't know!" Shane had returned with asking why she was in the barn and Hershel stepped in, his tone calm and collected.

"Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed."

Shane scoffed, getting in his face, "You expect me to believe that?" I had exchanged glances with Rick, the others had gone back to the camp to console Carol and I partially wished I would have followed but something about Shane mouthing off really made me tick. "What do I look like? An idiot?"

Hershel started to get angry, his blue eyes bulging out his head, "I don't care what you believe!"

Rick stepped in, "Everybody just calm down."

"Get him off my land!"

"Please, no." He pleaded.

Shane chuckled as he stepped forward, leaving only inches away from their faces, "Let me tell you something-"

The next thing I heard and saw was Maggie slap the living daylights out of him, "Hey! Don't touch him. Haven't you done enough?" She grabbed her father and her sister and led them to the front door.

Before Hershel walked indoors, he looked at Rick, "I mean it-off my land."

My heart sunk, we couldn't leave. I ran my hand through my hair and rested them on my head as I watched Rick ask Shane a question, it was more rhetorical than anything though. I swallowed hard as he answered, "Daryl almost died looking for her, Rick. Any of us could have, I'm gonna tell you right now that son of a bitch, he knew.

"He didn't know, he isn't like that. He opened his home to us." It was clear that the friendship between the two was slowly deteriorating and it was happening quickly.
Shane interjected, "Put us all in danger. man, he kept a barnful of walkers."

I butted in, my tone was snarky, "So you just start handing out guns and practically massacre his entire family?"

He scoffed, giving me a snide smirk, "His family's dead, Alex."

Rick groaned, "But he didn't believe that. He thinks you just murdered them in cold blood."

"No, man. I don't care. I don't care what he thinks."

I scoffed back, my eyes narrowing, "No of course you don't, Shane. That's exactly the problem. You don't care. How the hell do you expect us to live in harmony with these people if you don't care." I put my hand up when he started to speak, "No. You listen to me Shane. I'm sick and tired of keeping my mouth shut over shit that needs to be challenged. You are not a leader. You only do things that are best for you. Well," I looked around me, placing my hands on my hips, "I don't see anyone asking and begging for you to stay. That's the problem with you, Shane. You just don't fucking care about how everyone else feels or thinks. It's all about you, ain't it? Rick was handling the situation, there's a reason why we look to Rick. He rationalizes and you? You are just impulsive and you take the easy way out. Well guess what, Shane. Not every answer is the easiest one. Especially not in this damned world."

Shane rubbed his nose, he took a step forward, his brown eyes drilling into mine, "Rick had out looking for a little girl that every single one of us knew was dead! That's the only think Rick did." He glanced over towards him, "You're just as delusional as that guy." Shane motioned towards the house and then started to walk away, "You handled it, huh?"

I sighed, looking at Rick, "Sorry for ranting."

He shook his head, running a hand through his thick brown curls, "No, no. Don't apologize. At this point I think we've all got a good enough reason to voice our opinions." Rick lightly tapped my arm, "It's good to see a different side of you."

I nodded as I watched him walk back towards the barn. I stayed where I was, frozen, stuck. I couldn't move and I almost didn't want to move. Against all the odds, I really was hoping we'd find her. Find her alive and not like that, God, not like that. I didn't know what to think and I only imagined how Carol was feeling.

Eventually, I had finally gotten myself to move. I couldn't tell you how long it took but I did manage to join the others. I helped dug the graves for Sophia and Maggie's stepmother and stepbrother. It took a little less than an hour to finish and when that was done, we were ready. I felt a hand on my back, "Hey, Alex. Would you mind go getting Carol?"

I turned back towards Lori and shook my head, "I'll go get her." I walked towards the RV, knocking on the opened door, I made my way in. My eyes caught Daryl's, who sat on the counter, it was a little awkward but I ignored that feeling in my stomach, looking at Carol, "We're ready, so come on."

Carol shook her head, "Why."

Daryl and I exchanged glances before he spoke up, "Cause that's your little girl."

She looked up at him, shaking her head again, "That's not my little girl. That's some other thing." She paused, looking out the window, "My Sophia was alone in the woods, all this time I thought..." She paused again, "She didn't cry herself to sleep, she didn't go hungry, she didn't try to find her way back. Sophia died a long time ago."

I nodded, chewing on my bottom lip, "Okay." I turned back on my heel and walked out, glancing at everyone, "She's not coming." They all nodded as if they understood but I didn't. Regardless of how Sophia had ended up, she was still Sophia. All these walkers that we killed were all people at one point of their lives but they weren't our people. Sophia was one of us, she was one of us.

After the service we had all dispersed into our own little worlds, trying to grieve. I had practically walked in a complete circle for most of the time, it wasn't until I saw Glenn and Rick about to head out into the car that I stopped, "What's going on?"

Rick glanced at me as he checked the chamber of his gun, "Hershel's missing, Glenn and I are gonna go find him."

Glenn nodded, "We think he's at a bar in town."

"A bar? Hershel's a drinker?" I questioned.

Rick sighed, "Used to be, gave it up when Maggie was born." He placed the gun in his holster as his hand touched the top of the car and his foot was in the bottom, "You wanna come? We could use the extra back up."

"Shouldn't she go ask Daryl?" Glenn seemed a little apprehensive, he saw the look I gave him and he bit his lip, "It's nothing personal, Alex. I just don't want him breaking my neck-"

"-Glenn, I like you, I really do. But if you value your life you should probably just stop right there." I smiled a little when Rick chuckled, "I'm capable of making my own decisions. If he has a problem with it than he'll have to go through me." I hopped in the backseat and we started on our way after the two of them got themselves ready.