In the Shallows

We had been driving for a little while now and the silence was absolutely agonizing. It had been about another ten minutes before Glenn had piped up, "Maggie said she loves me."

My mouth dropped slightly, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. Rick glanced at me through the rear view mirror and gave me a similar look. I leaned forward, my elbows resting on their seats. "Ow ow."

Glenn shrugged, "She didn't mean it, I mean she can't. I mean-she-she's upset or confused." He looked down at his lap, he was really sure that Maggie didn't mean it. Sure it had only been a few days but times were different, we didn't know how much time we had left and to be honest-who the fuck cared about it.

Rick shook his head, looking at Glenn, "I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling."

Glenn shook his head too, "No. No." We both laughed, causing Glenn to glance back at us with confusion. "No, you know what? She wants to be in love so she's-she needs something to-to like-to hold onto."

I butted him, causing him to stop talking, "Glenn, I think it's pretty obvious to everyone that Maggie loves you."

Rick agreed with me, laughing again. "And it's not because you're one of the last men standing."

I nodded, "Right, so what exactly is the problem?"

He sighed, "I didn't say it back."

"Ouch."

"I've never had a woman say that to me before, except my mom of course and my sisters. But with Maggie, it's different. We barely know each other, what does she really know about me? Nothing."
I chuckled, resting my chin on my hand, "She knows that your loyal, caring, brave, and smart. What more does she have to know about you?"

Glenn groaned slightly, "We're practically strangers, but I-I didn't know what to do with it. I just stood there like a jerk."

I rubbed his shoulder, giving him a smile, "Take it from a woman, she's not going to hate you because you didn't say it back." I chewed my lip, "She might have before this kind of world but not in this time right now."

Rick nodded, "Hey, this is a good thing, something we don't get enough of these days. Enjoy it." He looked at me through the rear view mirror, "We sorta had it with Daryl and Alex-"

I narrowed my eyes, "-and what's the supposed to mean?"

Glenn agreed with Rick, "Oh yeah. Yeah." He turned towards me, "What happened between you two? You two have been acting all weird."

I crossed my arms and sat all the way back and slouched, "Nothing."
Rick chuckled, still glancing at me and then the road, "Don't believe that for a second, Alex."

"What does everyone think there's something goin' on between us." I muttered, looking out the window. But, who was I kidding? Something sort've went down but what was the use now. I wasn't planning on forgiving him anytime soon.

Glenn rolled his eyes, "Seriously?" He sucked in air and let it out harshly, "He's going to skin us alive the minute we get back to camp. I don't care what you say Alex, you mean something to him and he's going to murder us."

"I know you don't want to hear it, Alex. I get that but don't deny it." His blue eyes locked onto mine, "Love is a powerful feeling, it brings you together. Granted you have your bad days, but you just gotta get through those." Rick flickered another glance towards me, "Trust me when I say this, Daryl's definitely an abrasive man with a complete dark side but you're his light. What's he got if you burn out?"

I swallowed hard, he was sort of right. Granted Daryl had gone through things that caused him to be a little hotheaded and defensive but he had always let me in. I knew deep down inside that Daryl would never in a million years want to intentionally hurt me and I knew that it was partially my fault for messing with him during one of his pissy moments but it still gave him no right. I'd trust him with my life and I still did but I needed time to cool off. I physically got hurt from him pushing me and even though it was just a little innocent shove, it still hurt me. I got that he wasn't used to me being so outspoken but what did he expect? I was out in a different element with crackheads like Shane running around, I was bound to break away from my damned mouse name.

I listened to Glenn and Rick exchanged a few more words about the whole love and Maggie situation. It blew my mind how much advice Rick gave to him, my perspective on him was changing. He had the potential to be an excellent leader in this group but he just had to get rid of the one person who was holding him back from it. Shane. I know that Shane meant well but meaning and doing were two complete and total different things. He was worse of a hothead than Daryl was and that's saying a lot.

I shifted in my seat as we rolled into the little plaza, it was like a ghost town. So empty and so quiet, it made me uncomfortable. Rick pulled up to the curb and put it in park, before we got out, Glenn spoke up, his tone afraid and small, "Rick...I know about Lori." He glanced back at me before saying another word.

I sighed, "Me too."

Glenn sighed in relief, he had probably forgotten I had been in the backseat, "I got her those pills."

Rick nodded, "I figured." He got out and held out his pistol. Glenn and I followed behind with our weapons drawn.

"Hey, I'm sorry I kept it from you."

He shook his head, "Don't be. You did what you thought was right. It just so happens it wasn't." Glenn nodded, looking absolutely guilty. I rubbed his shoulder and smiled lightly as we made our way towards the bar. Glenn and I stood behind Rick as he kicked open the door, dust flying everywhere and Hershel right in our line of sight. He took a step forward, "Hershel?"

He kept his back faced towards us, his voice echoing in the empty bar, "Who's with you?"

"Glenn and Alex." Hershel picked up his head but still faced away from us, we all put away our weapons as we walked towards him. Rick sat on his other side while I sat on the other, "How many have you had?"

"Not enough."

I placed a calming hand on his, "Let's go back home, Hershel."

"Beth collapsed, is in some sort of state. Must be in shock, I think you are too." I was only hoping that after all this time that Hershel would trust Rick's better judgement, I mean after all the two of them had been negotiating back and forth.

"Maggie's with her?"

I nodded, "Yes, but she needs you. She needs her daddy."

He looked at me with sad eyes, it almost broke my heart, or what was left of it. "What could I do? She needs her mother or rather to mourn. Like she should've done weeks ago and I robbed her of that. I see that now."

I sighed as I watched him take another gulp of the whiskey that was in his glass, "You thought there were curable, Hershel. Why should you blame yourself when you had hope?"

"Hope?" He gave a slight smile, but I knew better. It wasn't the kind of smile we wanted. He looked at Rick making hand motions along with his words, "When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms I had little hope that he survived."

"But he did."

Hershel nodded, wrapping his hands around his glass, staring down into as if he was hoping that it would refill itself, "He did. Even though we lost Otis. Your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved that miracles to exist. Only it was a sham, " he glanced at the both of us, his blue eyes twinkling with sadness, "a bait and switch. I was a fool, Rick. And you people saw that." He paused, looking straight ahead, "My daughters deserve better than that." He took one last sip of his drink and started to pour himself another glass.

And at the moment, I had a sickening feeling creep its way into the pit of my stomach. I didn't know what it meant nor did I want to know. The last time I felt like this was when Daryl came back looking like a hot mess. I steadied myself and tried to ignore Rick's concerned look. I patted Hershel's back and walked towards Glenn with Rick following, "What are we going to do? Wait till he passes out or what?"

"Just go." He hollered out.

Rick clenched his jaw, "I promisd Maggie I'd bring you home safe."

He chuckled, but that was the sauce talking, "Like you promised that little girl?

For a brief moment I saw his face falter but just like I had figured, he quickly wiped off that expression and gritted his teeth, "So what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?" He started walking towards Hershel with full intent to drag him out the bar whether or not he wanted to leave.

Hershel slammed his glass on the counter, "Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague. I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!"

I stepped forward afraid that Rick was going to blow his lid, I placed a firm hand on his arm and gently looked at Hershel, my voice as calm as I was hoping for, "The world was already in bad shape when we all met."

He waved me off, staring hard into Rick's eyes, "And you people take no responsibility. You're supposed to be their leader!"

What I was afraid of happening, happened. Rick's voice hollered out and echoed against the empty room, "Well I'm here now, aren't I!?"

He just shrugged him off and walked back towards his seat and started to drink again, I sighed. This was just ridiculous, who knew that he was going to be so stubborn. Maggie and Beth needed their father and for the first time in his life since those girls were blessed into his life he was being selfish. In the time that he shouldn't and couldn't be, he was. Just as I thought it, Rick had said it. Trying to coax the old man to come home.

Hershel frowned, shrugging away from Rick's grasp, "I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming. That's when I knew what an ass I'd been, that Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse. That's when I knew there was no hope. And when that little girl came out of that barn and the look on your face-" he turned towards Glenn and I, "the look on all your faces- I knew you knew too. Right? There is no hope. And you know it now like I do. Don't you? There is no hope for any of us."

I exchanged glances with Glenn, chewing on my lip as Rick started to talk back to him. I had a feeling that we weren't going to be able to coax the old man out of this damn bar any time soon. I watched as he plead his case, every so often he looked to me for a nod and I'd deliver. Low and behold he had finally came to his sense, drinking the last drop of the booze, he flipped the cup upside down. I gave a slight smile as we all went to turn around but as soon as we did, we were met with two men walking through those doors.

I froze in my tracks as one of them spoke out loud, "Son of a bitch, they're alive." I watched as Rick pulled a bottle out from behind the bar and poured a few glasses, the same man that had spoken before had taken a seat, "I'm Dave," pointing towards the bigger man, "that scrawny looking douche bag there is Tony." I made a slight face at his remark of trying to funny. "We met on I-95 coming out of Philly. Damn shit show that was."

My head snapped up the second Glenn started to speak, "I'm Glenn. It's nice to meet some new people."

"Rick Grimes." He handed everyone a shot glass.

I was met with awkward stares from the two strangers as they awaited my name. Dave gave me a smile, "How bout you pretty, got a name?"

Rick chuckled, rubbing his nose slightly as he held the cup to his mouth, "Wouldn't go barkin' up that tree."

He rose an eyebrow, "Why got a big ole mean boy friend that'll tear my throat out?"

I narrowed my eyes, "No. The name's Alex, don't know why you need to know. It ain't going to do you much good."

Dave chuckled back, "All right, all right. Fair enough." He glanced towards Hershel, "How about you pal? Have one?"

Hershel sighed, "I just quit.

"You got a unique sense of timing, my friend."

Rick spoke up, "His name's Hershel, he lost people today, a lot of them."

"I'm truly sorry to hear that," he held up his glass, "to better days and new friends. And to our dead, may they be in a better place." We all tossed ours back, I gritted my teeth at the burning sensation the liquor gave me. Dave reached over to set his glass down and I noticed his piece in his pants, apparently I wasn't the only one because he pulled out it and showed it to Rick, "Ain't bad? I got it off a cop."

"I'm a cop."

"This one was already dead."

I shifted in my place, I just wanted to go back to the farm and be surrounded my pople I knew and loved. I felt so awkward and uncomfortable with these two men and to be quite honest I got a very bad vibe from the two of them. I noticed Rick's glance at me before he spoke, "You fellas are a long way from Philadelphia." I knew he was trying to keep up the small talk and away from where we were be potentially staying.

This Dave guy was quick with his words, "It feels like we're a long way from anywhere."

He nodded, "Well, what drove yous South?"

"Well I could tell you it wasn't the weather, I must've dropped 30 pounds in sweat alone down here."

I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter, "It's not so bad."

He smirked, "It's obviously doing you justice, what's your secret?"

I rose an eyebrow, uninterested in his flirtatious gestures, "Born and raised. That's my secret."

Dave laughed, pointing towards me, "She's a fiesty one. Better watch your back, fellas."

Glenn snorted, "Alex? Feisty? Nah."

He chuckled but looked at Rick once he was done, "But back to your question, first it was D.C. I heard that there was some kind of refugee camp, but the roads were so jammed, we never even got close." He hiccuped and glanced at Tony, "We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks, keep hauling ass. Every group we came across had a new rumor about a way out of this thing."

I started to tune out everything after that, every group we came across. What happened to them, I wondered. I started to get that feeling again and this time I was more than a hundred percent sure that it was about these guys. I flashed Rick a look, my eyes slightly narrowed and my head shaking in the subtlest way. He nodded back as we both turned our attention back to the two that were talking about how Fort Benning was a total bust. My heart sank but part of me knew that. There really was no way out of this mess.

I shifted again when Dave had asked where we were staying, but Rick was quick to answer. Dave motioned back outside, "That your car out there?"

Rick nodded, "Yeah, why?"

He shrugged, "We're living in ours. Those look kinda empty, clean. Where's all your gear?"

Hershel's hoarse voice broke through and instantly made me want to slap him, "We're with a larder group." But after I heard his trick I wanted to take back the notion of ever wanting to hit him, "Out scouting. Thought we could use a drink."

"A drink? Hershel I thought you quit." A smirk played on his lips, this little fucker thought he had us.

I stood up straight, "Just cause he quit doesn't mean we did." I narrowed my eyes at him, "I just wanted to feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

He scoffed at my sarcasm, "Well, we're thinking of setting up around here. Is it safe?"

Glenn shrugged which made me groan internally, "It can be. Although I have killed a couple of walkers around here."

I could tell this guy was absolute trouble, I knew guys like him. They asked loose questions to get the answers they wanted, he was playing the field and I caught onto it pretty quickly. "So what, you guys set up on the outskirts or something? That new development, trailer park or something? A farm?" He saw something in Glenn's reaction and that chilling voice he used next made me want to wring his little neck, "Old Macdonald had a farm." Dave smirked looking at Rick, "You got a farm."

Tony got up and brushed past me, I wanted to vomit, he reeked to bad. He walked over towards the corner and started to take a piss, so much for manners. "Is it safe?"

"It's gotta be. You got food, water?"

Tony turned his head, "You got cooze? Ain't had a piece of ass in weeks." His eyes landed on me and I instantly felt violated, "What about you Miss. Pretty? You wanna take a ride of your life."

I made a noise in my mouth as I turned away from him and tried to hold back the gag reflex that kept making its way through. I wiped the corner of my mouth as I harshly glanced back at him, "You are absolutely disgusting."

Dave sighed, leaning back in his chair, "Listen, pardon my friend. I'm so sorry Alex. City kids they got no tact. No disrespect. So, listen Glenn-"

I stopped him right there, stepping forward slightly, "-Enough. We've said enough." I narrowed my eyes, scanning over him."

"Well hang on a second, this farm-it sounds pretty sweet. Don't it sound sweet, Tony?"
He responded while he licked his lips and gave me a good stare down, "Yeah, real sweet."

"How about a little southern hospitality? We got some buddies back at camp, been having a real hard time. I don't see why you can't make room for a few more. We can pool our resources, our manpower."

Rick shook his head, "Look, I'm sorry. That's not option"

"Don't sound like it'd be a problem."

"We can't take in any more. Your buddy over here is drooling over Alex over here, who's to say your other buddies won't either. And ontop of that, if they even so much as touch her." He shook his head, "Can't afford it."

He chuckled, "You guys are something else. I thought we were friends. We got people we gotta look out for too."

"We don't know anything about you." I snapped.

"That's true. You don't know anything about us. You don't know what we've had to go through out there, the things we had to do. I bet you've had to some of those things yourselve, am I right?" I groaned which caused him to snicker, this was all part of his stupid little plan.

I zoned out for a few, trying to circulate the problem. All I knew next was rough hands snake around my waist and around my throat. I squealed as I was met with horrified glances from Glenn, Rick, and Hershel. I choked against the grip "Get the hell off of me!"

Dave pressed his mouth against my ear and tightened his grip, "Tony wasn't the only one drooling over you."

Rick pointed his gun which only caused Tony point, "Don't do anything stupid, Dave. Let her go."
I could feel him smiling against my head, "Oh come on now. Don't you do anything stupid." He removed his hand from my waist and switched positions to that his hand was around my neck but his other hand was free, "Why I don't take you into the back and we can have a little fun. What do you say Lex?"

I locked eyes with Rick for a split second, trailing my eyes down my side to let him know about my gun, he nodded for a split second. And in a flash, I removed my hands from his hand and reached down for my gun, firing it off behind me and hitting his foot, I quickly turned around and shot him in the head, all while Rick had effectively shot Tony in his, "Don't ever call me Lex." I spat on his dead body. I turned back around and reached for my neck, it burned with pain.

Glenn rushed over towards me, checking me over and groaning, "If he wasn't going to kill us before he's really going to kill us now." He lightly pressed and I hissed in pain, "Daryl's going to be pissed."