In the Shallows

Daryl POV

I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn' worried 'bout Lex, hell, I was always worried 'bout her. No matter how hard I tried, how many times I said I didn' like her, none of it stuck. Lex had this thing 'bout her that'd make me forget why I was even mad at her. 'Cause of that fact, I'd get even more mad. I never wanted to love her. She deserved better but the damn girl was just too persistent. Askin' me all these questions that in the back of my mind, I was wonderin' the same thing.

It was always Lex, Merle, and I, for as long as I could remember. Lex was a little bit younger than me but it didn' matter where we grew up. Everybody talked whether or not ya wanted them too. I swear Merle had a thing for her, always pickin' on her and callin' her out. It didn' matter 'cause all Lex did was stay by me and that didn' make it an easier on her. I hated her. I really did.

It didn' take a genius with eyes to know that Lex was beautiful. Even with all the dirt and dried blood, none of it could really take away from her beauty. I didn' deserve the attention of someone like her, a girl like her should be with them city boys but no. She eventually grew on me, hell, there was no shakin' her really. I had never had someone care. I didn' like that feelin', wasn't used to it, nor did I want to be. Nobody would stay that long but Lex did, twenty years she stayed.

I knew I liked her, liked her more than I wanted to. But, I ain't ever confirmed it in my brain. Why would I? It was the damn apocalypse. Nothin' was goin' right. It was no use. World wasn' meant for us. I musta' told her a thousand times, no wonder she got sicka hearin' it. And now, here I was. Scared of losin' her, scared of somethin' happenin' to her. I'd go out my damn mind if she turned. I'd never admit it, but I could go 'round killin' all the damn walkers in this world but I wouldn't put her down. That was a damn shame, let me tell you. Talked all this shit and I couldn't even pull the trigger on the one person that ever gave a damn 'bout me. Someone else would have to do it.

It was jus' supposed to me and Merle until she showed up in our lives. I would like to think that I woulda' done just fine without her but I was just foolin' myself. Lex was the only reason why these people tolerated me, I'd bet on it. Lex had this way about her, she'd make you like her even if you didn't wanna. I know from first hand experience, she was a lot smarter than people give her credit for. She just ain't dumb enough to show it. That was 'nother thing, Lex coulda' had the life all the townies wanted but she gave it all away. For what? Buncha' rednecks who'd screw her over time and time again? I dunno.

Lex and I? There was no stoppin' it now. That I did know.

Night had fallen, the moon shinin' bright over our heads, it made good light for huntin' but I knew better to go run off. Lex might have my head if I tried to slip out now. I had pulled some more firewood, layin' it on the fire, my eyes flickered towards Lex who sat with her knees pulled to her chest. She had that look on her face, a look that I wanted to wipe away.
I felt Carol lean forward, her voice just barely a whisper, "We're not safe with him, keeping something like that from us." She looked behind her, and it was at the moment I noticed Lex listening in, "Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down."

I looked away from her, I had grown to like Carol, but I hardly could tolerate her most days. "No. Rick's done all right by me."

Carol gritted his teeth, "You're his henchman and I'm a burden." I wasn' one for people tryin' to make other people feel sorry for themselves. "You deserve better." I squinted my eyes at her.

Ever since I had tried to act and show a little kindness towards her, she had clung to me far worse than Lex ever had. I was never good at readin' people but even I knew the extent of Carol's actions. I squinted my eyes slightly, "What do you want?" Bein' straightforward with these kinds of things normally resolved the problem before it started. Carol wasn' my type.
She caught on to what I was askin', givin' me those blue eyes as she spoke, "A man of honor."

"Rick has honor." I spat. Rollin' my eyes as I continued to keep the fire alive. I noticed Lex shiftin', her eyes were zoomed in on the flames, probably lost in that big head of hers.

"I think we should take our chances." I overheard Maggie talkin' to Glenn, somethin' about that chick always set my teeth on edge.

Hershel spoke out, "Don't be foolish. There's no food, no fuel, no ammo." Old man had a point, if it weren' for those factors, Lex and I woulda' been gone long ago.

We heard leaves rustling, little Miss. Blondie started to freak out, "What was that?"

"Could be anythin'." I lamely said, takin' off my crossbow, I loaded up an arrow, "Could be a raccoon, could be a possum." I ignored Glenn as he starting talkin' negative. Lex was right 'bout earlier, everybody needed to take a damn chill pill and start believin'.

Again Carol started to cry out, "We need to leave. What are we waiting for?"

"Which way?"

"It came from over there."

"Back from where we came?"

"Yeah."

Rick had finally showed his face, his jaw clenched and his eyes full of anger, "The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have the vehicles, no one's traveling on foot."
After his little spiel, branches snapped off in the distance, Lex's head swiveled towards the sound, her eyes intently starin' off in the dark. One of the many skills Lex had, always took her out huntin' with me. Never failed to bring back dinner.

Maggie gripped her rifle, her teeth clenched, "I'm not-I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now."

Rick was quick to answer, "No one is going anywhere."

Carol narrowed her eyes, "Do something!"

"I am doing something!"

Lex groaned, pulling her eyes off of the dark, her brown eyes full of annoyance. It didn' take much for Lex to dislike people but it also didn' take much for her to get mad. She had been real good on keepin' her mouth shut until recently, but I wasn' complainin' all the time. It was real hot when she got angry. She looked up at Carol, "What the hell is he supposed to do, Carol? Make the trees and leaves stop moving? Make the wind stop blowing? Would you like him to make you a damn sundae while he's at it? Good Lord, you all are a bunch of-." She stood up, dusting her hands off, "Rick killed his best friend for you people." Everyone gave her astonished glances, "You think he's not trying to keep us together and safe? Do we have to go back to what I asked about earlier? Going back to square one of which one of you stupid pricks want to step up and take control?"

Everyone gave Rick looks, includin' me. I already knew what had happened but that look on his face, "You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us?" He pointed towards Lex, "He even shot Alex! He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. Don't believe me? Ask Alex who had a bullet cut into her leg trying to protect me. Could I have counted on any of you to do that on free will aside from Daryl?" He squinted his eyes, "He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me, my hands are clean!"

No one wanted to take on the task of lookin' into Rick's eyes, everyone just stood there avoidin' his stare, "Maybe you people are better off without me," that got everyones attention, "go ahead," he pointed behind him, "I say there's a place for us, but maybe-maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you-why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard." He ushered, everyones faces reading the same, scared. "Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get."

Lex piped up, her jaw clenched, "But if you stay? It ain't a damn democracy anymore, let's get that straight." She ran a hand through her hair, givin' me a small glimpse of her shirt risin' a little off that frame of hers, "There's no right way of doing this, we're a group, a family. If you have ideas or suggestions than voice them but not in an attacking way. Not in-not in an accusing or questioning manner. We stay together and we survive together. That's the only way it's going to work. Stop being impulsive, it never gets you anywhere but dead. Think straight or else you will end you dead.

You racing out into those woods in the dark? All 'cause you heard leaves crunching or a branch breaking? I get it. We're not in a civilized world anymore so our first instinct is for it to be a walker. What if it was and it wasn't the only one. Remember what Shane had asked me and Andrea awhile back and Andrea's answer was the wrong one? You all need to adapt and find that strength of not being afraid of every little sound you hear."

Lex couldn' have said any better than that. Like I said, she ain't dumb. It suits her to be like this, it gives people a little fear of what she's capable of. And they ain't even really know the half of it.