In the Shallows

I couldn't begin to explain the motherly instincts I had formed in such a short amount of time since Daryl and Maggie had left. Everything inside of me just wanted this infant to stop crying; not for the splitting headache we were all receiving from it, but because I felt like I had to. I wanted this baby to feel warm, full, and comfortable.

I marveled at her features, how cute, small, and fragile everything was about her. It took our minds off the horrible life outside these walls, but once the cries and wails started to get unbearable, we realized how complicated our problems had just gotten. I always wanted to be a mother but never in this kind of world, I wouldn't feel right bringing a child into this world, but then again, if it were to happen, I wouldn't feel right not giving it a chance. I would just be a hypocrite if I said otherwise. Lori did what she thought was best, regardless if it meant losing out on her own life.

My head snapped up when I heard the metal gate clang open, my shoulders relaxing from the huge amount of relief I felt as Maggie and Daryl rolled through them with full bags of supplies for the baby. I bounced my knees to keep her content while they mixed up formula, Daryl walked over, removing his poncho and his bow, "How she doin'?"

I picked her up from my knees, cringing as her cries got louder, "She's just hungry," I removed myself from the table and stood straight up, "here hold her." I handed her off to him, who seemed as if he was going to object but then decided against it. Sprinting across the room towards Beth and Maggie, I took over. I quickly measured out the needed amount of formula and shook it vigorously.

Turning around, I couldn't help but smile as Daryl held onto the little human. His eyes were completely fixated on her, sparkling with a spark of something I had never seen before. He swayed to keep her quiet, smiling every now and again when she'd make a small noise of wanting to cry. Snapping out of my trance, I quickly handed him the bottle, watching as he fed her. It was strange watching him take such cautious steps in making sure she was comfortable and feeding properly, but it was nonetheless a good strange.

"She got a name yet?" He asked, looking at Carl for an answer.

He looked over at me before answering, shrugging his shoulders, "Not yet," he stumbled over his words, "but, I was thinking maybe Sophia. Then there's Carol too." Carl sighed, looking at all of us, "Andrea, Amy, Jacqui, Patricia, or Lori. I don't know."

I pressed my lips together as he started to turn around, pulling him into a hug, I kissed the top of his head. I rubbed his shoulders, smiling lightly, "We don't have to decide right now, all that matters is that she's going to be okay."

Daryl smiled at the baby, his eyes still sparkling with that something, "Yeah, you like that? Huh? Little Ass-Kicker?" He looked up, smiling at all of us, "Right? That's a good name, right? Yeah, you like that, sweetheart?" It didn't take much longer for her to finish off the milk, setting down the empty bottle, he looked at me, "What do we do know?"

"You have to burp her." Hershel spoke, giving a soft smile.

Beth smiled brightly, holding out her hands, "Can I do it?" She paused, "She seems easier to manage now that she's full." Daryl nodded as he gently handed her off, his eyes caught mine and motioned towards the door.

"I'm going to step outside," I said, shoving my hands in my pockets, "might as well, check up on Axel and Oscar and see how everything's going."

Hershel nodded, looking over at Daryl, "Go on with her, Daryl. We'll come find you if we need you."

I stepped outside, letting the cool dark Georgia air nip at my face, smiling softly, I sighed, "It's crazy how we're still alive."

Daryl scoffed lightly, "No it ain't." I felt his hand grab my upper arm, forcing me to look him in the eyes. Even under the dark skies, his eyes were still so blue, "You okay?"

I nodded, "I guess."

"Don't lie to me, Lex." His voice was stern and his hand still lingered over my arm, causing my skin to tingle.

Sighing, "I don't know what to say anymore when people ask if I'm doing alright or okay." I bit my lip, pulling slightly away from him to walk towards the fence line, "I feel like everything inside of me is becoming numb, the only emotion I seem to know is fear." My hand reached out to touch the cold metal frame that kept us safe for the time being, "We're losing people that have become more that just people." I ran a hand through my hair, biting the inside of my cheek, I turned to look at Daryl, "It's hard to keep strong when you've already been broken."